RE: question on self isolations as older teens and adults years

[Guest guest]

I think it's because as adults you find your interests and it's easier

to enjoy what you like than to deal with people. Lol. Like I know many

women that love going to the mall, even if they don't buy anything. I

HATE that. When I go to the mall, it's for a purpose. When I go to the

store, it's for a purpose. Sometimes I may like to look around at

stuff, but I hate going places & seeing things I want but can't

afford, or finding things I don't need and developing a desire for. I

don't see the point in walking around at stuff you have no intention

of purchasing. I'm finding this to be difficult with my oldest

daughter, she's into the girly shopping stuff of not really shopping.

Also, people can be exhausting. I think people with autism are very

factual. If you have a problem, fix it. It's difficult being around

people, for example, who have constant marital problems. I just found

out that my BIL secretly divorced & doesn't want anyone to know,

including their own 2 kids. This is so dysfunctionally insane it makes

me just want to separate from a close relationship because it hurts me

emotionally. I think people with autism feel things so deeply that it

gets to be a real burden experiencing all the " stuff " from people.

Playing a video game doesn't mean hurting when you see your friends do

stupid things and stuff.

I heard a radio guy talk about how 200 yrs ago you came home from the

fields and you sat by the fire and reflected on your day, your

troubles, and you found peace through sorting it all out. Nowadays

there's television, you don't have time to sort. I think that's sort

of it with people with autism, I think there is additional time needed

to process events and think through things. Playing a video game

allows me to reflect to a certain extent, and is relaxing. I think by

withdrawing you're giving yourself more time to reflect, understand,

and find peace. May also be a subconscious thing. In the past social

situations brought anxiety, so your mind comes to see those as not

fun, where video games and time alone are relaxing, so you seek that

more.

Debi

>

> I to wonder what many here feel is the core reasons for many with

> autism espeically in late teen to adult years tend to self isolate even

> more than as a kid. this is a self choice to exclude of self from many

> social outings or events , where as a child or young teen might have

> attended or not seemed affected by and so would go and enjoy the event

> in a social way among family or friends.

>

> My therapist bring this up in group session and many of us really did

> not know when or why we bagan of this self isoaltions but it seemed to

> be of more severe as we became of adults and only go out in to the

> community if need calls for it such as to pay a bill or get of food

> etc... other wise we tend to enjoy our aloneness in the homes of us. or

> witha very small or few family members.

>

> As for me not have a motivation or need within me. If I to want to go

> to an event it is if usually not to socialize. It is for many other

> reasons I to lack words too but I to get much out of the event from my

> own internal seeking of self things I to find enjoyable. Like when to

> go to conference I to like to pace the perimeters of the setting and

> observe it. I to like to do teh vendors tables and to gain of insight

> or explore various views of the vendor some I to not be to support or

> understand of thier theory so simply intrigued by the literature but

> not interesed in it for self. I to like to just meet a few people form

> the net and or I to met from conferences before . I to like the being

> in the same room almost if you will in a parallel fashions but not

> always interested in to a interactive social aspect of the group.

>

> Some of my group members like to read and will read in the home in self

> isolations, some like to go to videos much so and will play of them

> over and over every weekend getting new ones to view but rarily seek of

> a firend person to join of them. one likes to play of computer games,

> one is of much into sports but it is of rare and few of us see the need

> or have any internal need for friendships in the sense of friendship.

>

> Yet the world or community of autism specialist stress the need for us

> to build in this over and over. I to wonder if this is due to teh

> history of my genration outcomes the need to fix this self isolations

> is of strong from the NT world to our, but if we really are content and

> or lack any real internal drive can one be build and or established in

> a teaching fashions to people of autism to cause an internal drive for

> us to want this?

>

> Sondra

>

[Guest guest]

I think it's because as adults you find your interests and it's easier

to enjoy what you like than to deal with people. Lol. Like I know many

women that love going to the mall, even if they don't buy anything. I

HATE that. When I go to the mall, it's for a purpose. When I go to the

store, it's for a purpose. Sometimes I may like to look around at

stuff, but I hate going places & seeing things I want but can't

afford, or finding things I don't need and developing a desire for. I

don't see the point in walking around at stuff you have no intention

of purchasing. I'm finding this to be difficult with my oldest

daughter, she's into the girly shopping stuff of not really shopping.

Also, people can be exhausting. I think people with autism are very

factual. If you have a problem, fix it. It's difficult being around

people, for example, who have constant marital problems. I just found

out that my BIL secretly divorced & doesn't want anyone to know,

including their own 2 kids. This is so dysfunctionally insane it makes

me just want to separate from a close relationship because it hurts me

emotionally. I think people with autism feel things so deeply that it

gets to be a real burden experiencing all the " stuff " from people.

Playing a video game doesn't mean hurting when you see your friends do

stupid things and stuff.

I heard a radio guy talk about how 200 yrs ago you came home from the

fields and you sat by the fire and reflected on your day, your

troubles, and you found peace through sorting it all out. Nowadays

there's television, you don't have time to sort. I think that's sort

of it with people with autism, I think there is additional time needed

to process events and think through things. Playing a video game

allows me to reflect to a certain extent, and is relaxing. I think by

withdrawing you're giving yourself more time to reflect, understand,

and find peace. May also be a subconscious thing. In the past social

situations brought anxiety, so your mind comes to see those as not

fun, where video games and time alone are relaxing, so you seek that

more.

Debi

>

> I to wonder what many here feel is the core reasons for many with

> autism espeically in late teen to adult years tend to self isolate even

> more than as a kid. this is a self choice to exclude of self from many

> social outings or events , where as a child or young teen might have

> attended or not seemed affected by and so would go and enjoy the event

> in a social way among family or friends.

>

> My therapist bring this up in group session and many of us really did

> not know when or why we bagan of this self isoaltions but it seemed to

> be of more severe as we became of adults and only go out in to the

> community if need calls for it such as to pay a bill or get of food

> etc... other wise we tend to enjoy our aloneness in the homes of us. or

> witha very small or few family members.

>

> As for me not have a motivation or need within me. If I to want to go

> to an event it is if usually not to socialize. It is for many other

> reasons I to lack words too but I to get much out of the event from my

> own internal seeking of self things I to find enjoyable. Like when to

> go to conference I to like to pace the perimeters of the setting and

> observe it. I to like to do teh vendors tables and to gain of insight

> or explore various views of the vendor some I to not be to support or

> understand of thier theory so simply intrigued by the literature but

> not interesed in it for self. I to like to just meet a few people form

> the net and or I to met from conferences before . I to like the being

> in the same room almost if you will in a parallel fashions but not

> always interested in to a interactive social aspect of the group.

>

> Some of my group members like to read and will read in the home in self

> isolations, some like to go to videos much so and will play of them

> over and over every weekend getting new ones to view but rarily seek of

> a firend person to join of them. one likes to play of computer games,

> one is of much into sports but it is of rare and few of us see the need

> or have any internal need for friendships in the sense of friendship.

>

> Yet the world or community of autism specialist stress the need for us

> to build in this over and over. I to wonder if this is due to teh

> history of my genration outcomes the need to fix this self isolations

> is of strong from the NT world to our, but if we really are content and

> or lack any real internal drive can one be build and or established in

> a teaching fashions to people of autism to cause an internal drive for

> us to want this?

>

> Sondra

>

[Guest guest]

could it be that previously, as a child or younger teen, that your life was

still scheduled largely by the adults around you, parents/teachers, and that may

have been why you were out in the community more?

sondra wrote: I to wonder what many here feel is

the core reasons for many with

autism espeically in late teen to adult years tend to self isolate even

more than as a kid. this is a self choice to exclude of self from many

social outings or events , where as a child or young teen might have

attended or not seemed affected by and so would go and enjoy the event

in a social way among family or friends.

My therapist bring this up in group session and many of us really did

not know when or why we bagan of this self isoaltions but it seemed to

be of more severe as we became of adults and only go out in to the

community if need calls for it such as to pay a bill or get of food

etc... other wise we tend to enjoy our aloneness in the homes of us. or

witha very small or few family members.

As for me not have a motivation or need within me. If I to want to go

to an event it is if usually not to socialize. It is for many other

reasons I to lack words too but I to get much out of the event from my

own internal seeking of self things I to find enjoyable. Like when to

go to conference I to like to pace the perimeters of the setting and

observe it. I to like to do teh vendors tables and to gain of insight

or explore various views of the vendor some I to not be to support or

understand of thier theory so simply intrigued by the literature but

not interesed in it for self. I to like to just meet a few people form

the net and or I to met from conferences before . I to like the being

in the same room almost if you will in a parallel fashions but not

always interested in to a interactive social aspect of the group.

Some of my group members like to read and will read in the home in self

isolations, some like to go to videos much so and will play of them

over and over every weekend getting new ones to view but rarily seek of

a firend person to join of them. one likes to play of computer games,

one is of much into sports but it is of rare and few of us see the need

or have any internal need for friendships in the sense of friendship.

Yet the world or community of autism specialist stress the need for us

to build in this over and over. I to wonder if this is due to teh

history of my genration outcomes the need to fix this self isolations

is of strong from the NT world to our, but if we really are content and

or lack any real internal drive can one be build and or established in

a teaching fashions to people of autism to cause an internal drive for

us to want this?

Sondra

[Guest guest]

could it be that previously, as a child or younger teen, that your life was

still scheduled largely by the adults around you, parents/teachers, and that may

have been why you were out in the community more?

sondra wrote: I to wonder what many here feel is

the core reasons for many with

autism espeically in late teen to adult years tend to self isolate even

more than as a kid. this is a self choice to exclude of self from many

social outings or events , where as a child or young teen might have

attended or not seemed affected by and so would go and enjoy the event

in a social way among family or friends.

My therapist bring this up in group session and many of us really did

not know when or why we bagan of this self isoaltions but it seemed to

be of more severe as we became of adults and only go out in to the

community if need calls for it such as to pay a bill or get of food

etc... other wise we tend to enjoy our aloneness in the homes of us. or

witha very small or few family members.

As for me not have a motivation or need within me. If I to want to go

to an event it is if usually not to socialize. It is for many other

reasons I to lack words too but I to get much out of the event from my

own internal seeking of self things I to find enjoyable. Like when to

go to conference I to like to pace the perimeters of the setting and

observe it. I to like to do teh vendors tables and to gain of insight

or explore various views of the vendor some I to not be to support or

understand of thier theory so simply intrigued by the literature but

not interesed in it for self. I to like to just meet a few people form

the net and or I to met from conferences before . I to like the being

in the same room almost if you will in a parallel fashions but not

always interested in to a interactive social aspect of the group.

Some of my group members like to read and will read in the home in self

isolations, some like to go to videos much so and will play of them

over and over every weekend getting new ones to view but rarily seek of

a firend person to join of them. one likes to play of computer games,

one is of much into sports but it is of rare and few of us see the need

or have any internal need for friendships in the sense of friendship.

Yet the world or community of autism specialist stress the need for us

to build in this over and over. I to wonder if this is due to teh

history of my genration outcomes the need to fix this self isolations

is of strong from the NT world to our, but if we really are content and

or lack any real internal drive can one be build and or established in

a teaching fashions to people of autism to cause an internal drive for

us to want this?

Sondra

[Guest guest]

I see in my 11 yr old boy that want for self isolation. I think that just

the fact he HAS to go to school, forces him out of that a bit. I think just

having to follow the family to outings and visits and social situations

forces that in younger children, especially to NT parents who are seeking

out that social scene!

I have to pick up my son every day for lunch and bring him home, even though

his classmates all stay at school for lunch. He dreads the lunch hour, as

it is a longer recess and he has so much trouble with the social already. I

think if he could control his world (and not his mother controlling it for

him) he would stay home and read and play Pokemon on his gameboy, or his

gamecube, and be quite content with that. He does get bored at times with

this, and seeks out his brother (who is also ASD) and they go into this

world of their own...make believe and role playing. The role playing is

very different though...they talk as though you are reading a book. They

each play many characters at once, so you hear " Then Vito said.... " and

" got mad and... " " ...she/he said " It sounds more like they are reading

from a script or a book. I am so used to it, it is only when other kids are

around who are NT (which is not very often...) that you realize how

different their play is from their peers.

Anyway...strayed off topic...I guess I was just commenting that maybe the

isolation in teens and adult years has something to do with the fact that

you are more in control of your " free time " than you are as a child???

Just a thought.

>

>Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls

>To: Autism_in_Girls

>Subject: question on self isolations as older teens and

>adults years

>Date: Tue, 22 May 2007 15:23:59 -0000

>

>I to wonder what many here feel is the core reasons for many with

>autism espeically in late teen to adult years tend to self isolate even

>more than as a kid. this is a self choice to exclude of self from many

>social outings or events , where as a child or young teen might have

>attended or not seemed affected by and so would go and enjoy the event

>in a social way among family or friends.

>

>My therapist bring this up in group session and many of us really did

>not know when or why we bagan of this self isoaltions but it seemed to

>be of more severe as we became of adults and only go out in to the

>community if need calls for it such as to pay a bill or get of food

>etc... other wise we tend to enjoy our aloneness in the homes of us. or

>witha very small or few family members.

>

>As for me not have a motivation or need within me. If I to want to go

>to an event it is if usually not to socialize. It is for many other

>reasons I to lack words too but I to get much out of the event from my

>own internal seeking of self things I to find enjoyable. Like when to

>go to conference I to like to pace the perimeters of the setting and

>observe it. I to like to do teh vendors tables and to gain of insight

>or explore various views of the vendor some I to not be to support or

>understand of thier theory so simply intrigued by the literature but

>not interesed in it for self. I to like to just meet a few people form

>the net and or I to met from conferences before . I to like the being

>in the same room almost if you will in a parallel fashions but not

>always interested in to a interactive social aspect of the group.

>

>Some of my group members like to read and will read in the home in self

>isolations, some like to go to videos much so and will play of them

>over and over every weekend getting new ones to view but rarily seek of

>a firend person to join of them. one likes to play of computer games,

>one is of much into sports but it is of rare and few of us see the need

>or have any internal need for friendships in the sense of friendship.

>

>Yet the world or community of autism specialist stress the need for us

>to build in this over and over. I to wonder if this is due to teh

>history of my genration outcomes the need to fix this self isolations

>is of strong from the NT world to our, but if we really are content and

>or lack any real internal drive can one be build and or established in

>a teaching fashions to people of autism to cause an internal drive for

>us to want this?

>

>Sondra

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

Windows Live Hotmail, with safety bar colour coding, helps identify

suspicious mail before it takes your daughter out on a date. Upgrade today

for a better look. www.newhotmail.ca?icid=WLHMENCA152

[Guest guest]

I see in my 11 yr old boy that want for self isolation. I think that just

the fact he HAS to go to school, forces him out of that a bit. I think just

having to follow the family to outings and visits and social situations

forces that in younger children, especially to NT parents who are seeking

out that social scene!

I have to pick up my son every day for lunch and bring him home, even though

his classmates all stay at school for lunch. He dreads the lunch hour, as

it is a longer recess and he has so much trouble with the social already. I

think if he could control his world (and not his mother controlling it for

him) he would stay home and read and play Pokemon on his gameboy, or his

gamecube, and be quite content with that. He does get bored at times with

this, and seeks out his brother (who is also ASD) and they go into this

world of their own...make believe and role playing. The role playing is

very different though...they talk as though you are reading a book. They

each play many characters at once, so you hear " Then Vito said.... " and

" got mad and... " " ...she/he said " It sounds more like they are reading

from a script or a book. I am so used to it, it is only when other kids are

around who are NT (which is not very often...) that you realize how

different their play is from their peers.

Anyway...strayed off topic...I guess I was just commenting that maybe the

isolation in teens and adult years has something to do with the fact that

you are more in control of your " free time " than you are as a child???

Just a thought.

>

>Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls

>To: Autism_in_Girls

>Subject: question on self isolations as older teens and

>adults years

>Date: Tue, 22 May 2007 15:23:59 -0000

>

>I to wonder what many here feel is the core reasons for many with

>autism espeically in late teen to adult years tend to self isolate even

>more than as a kid. this is a self choice to exclude of self from many

>social outings or events , where as a child or young teen might have

>attended or not seemed affected by and so would go and enjoy the event

>in a social way among family or friends.

>

>My therapist bring this up in group session and many of us really did

>not know when or why we bagan of this self isoaltions but it seemed to

>be of more severe as we became of adults and only go out in to the

>community if need calls for it such as to pay a bill or get of food

>etc... other wise we tend to enjoy our aloneness in the homes of us. or

>witha very small or few family members.

>

>As for me not have a motivation or need within me. If I to want to go

>to an event it is if usually not to socialize. It is for many other

>reasons I to lack words too but I to get much out of the event from my

>own internal seeking of self things I to find enjoyable. Like when to

>go to conference I to like to pace the perimeters of the setting and

>observe it. I to like to do teh vendors tables and to gain of insight

>or explore various views of the vendor some I to not be to support or

>understand of thier theory so simply intrigued by the literature but

>not interesed in it for self. I to like to just meet a few people form

>the net and or I to met from conferences before . I to like the being

>in the same room almost if you will in a parallel fashions but not

>always interested in to a interactive social aspect of the group.

>

>Some of my group members like to read and will read in the home in self

>isolations, some like to go to videos much so and will play of them

>over and over every weekend getting new ones to view but rarily seek of

>a firend person to join of them. one likes to play of computer games,

>one is of much into sports but it is of rare and few of us see the need

>or have any internal need for friendships in the sense of friendship.

>

>Yet the world or community of autism specialist stress the need for us

>to build in this over and over. I to wonder if this is due to teh

>history of my genration outcomes the need to fix this self isolations

>is of strong from the NT world to our, but if we really are content and

>or lack any real internal drive can one be build and or established in

>a teaching fashions to people of autism to cause an internal drive for

>us to want this?

>

>Sondra

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

Windows Live Hotmail, with safety bar colour coding, helps identify

suspicious mail before it takes your daughter out on a date. Upgrade today

for a better look. www.newhotmail.ca?icid=WLHMENCA152

[Guest guest]

Carol That is of a good point too and one that did not occur to me

until now. As adults we are not good planners for our days and such nor

do many of us seek outside of our safe net we have builded for selves

once adults because that evades of our set routine we have developed.

Sondra

> could it be that previously, as a child or younger teen, that your

life was still scheduled largely by the adults around you,

parents/teachers, and that may have been why you were out in the

community more? Carol

[Guest guest]

Carol That is of a good point too and one that did not occur to me

until now. As adults we are not good planners for our days and such nor

do many of us seek outside of our safe net we have builded for selves

once adults because that evades of our set routine we have developed.

Sondra

> could it be that previously, as a child or younger teen, that your

life was still scheduled largely by the adults around you,

parents/teachers, and that may have been why you were out in the

community more? Carol

[Guest guest]

This issue of self isolation is the single thing that makes me worry

about ever homeschooling Allie. I've thought by middle school I might

allow her to be with me during those years. I've heard Dr.

whats-his-name (works with Asperger Syndrome, from Australia I

think??) comment that homeschooling can be almost a necessity for

those with Asperger because the social time of adolescents can be so

brutal. But it seem the more Allie is a home, the less she wants to go

out into the world. I have no problem with her being a home body, I am

too. I just don't want it to become something where she can't function

at all.

I asked one of Allie's teachers who is going to quit to homeschool her

kids what she thought about that for Allie. She was extremely

encouraging which makes me wonder if it might be the ideal situation

for Allie sooner rather than later. After all, she sees what Allie is

exposed to on a daily basis and she's quitting so she has no reason to

try and push us out of the school, like I might suspect from teachers

that don't want her around.

Debi

>

> I see in my 11 yr old boy that want for self isolation. I think

that just

> the fact he HAS to go to school, forces him out of that a bit. I

think just

> having to follow the family to outings and visits and social situations

> forces that in younger children, especially to NT parents who are

seeking

> out that social scene!

>

> I have to pick up my son every day for lunch and bring him home,

even though

> his classmates all stay at school for lunch. He dreads the lunch

hour, as

> it is a longer recess and he has so much trouble with the social

already. I

> think if he could control his world (and not his mother controlling

it for

> him) he would stay home and read and play Pokemon on his gameboy, or

his

> gamecube, and be quite content with that. He does get bored at

times with

> this, and seeks out his brother (who is also ASD) and they go into this

> world of their own...make believe and role playing. The role

playing is

> very different though...they talk as though you are reading a book.

They

> each play many characters at once, so you hear " Then Vito said.... " and

> " got mad and... " " ...she/he said " It sounds more like they are

reading

> from a script or a book. I am so used to it, it is only when other

kids are

> around who are NT (which is not very often...) that you realize how

> different their play is from their peers.

>

> Anyway...strayed off topic...I guess I was just commenting that

maybe the

> isolation in teens and adult years has something to do with the fact

that

> you are more in control of your " free time " than you are as a child???

>

> Just a thought.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

This issue of self isolation is the single thing that makes me worry

about ever homeschooling Allie. I've thought by middle school I might

allow her to be with me during those years. I've heard Dr.

whats-his-name (works with Asperger Syndrome, from Australia I

think??) comment that homeschooling can be almost a necessity for

those with Asperger because the social time of adolescents can be so

brutal. But it seem the more Allie is a home, the less she wants to go

out into the world. I have no problem with her being a home body, I am

too. I just don't want it to become something where she can't function

at all.

I asked one of Allie's teachers who is going to quit to homeschool her

kids what she thought about that for Allie. She was extremely

encouraging which makes me wonder if it might be the ideal situation

for Allie sooner rather than later. After all, she sees what Allie is

exposed to on a daily basis and she's quitting so she has no reason to

try and push us out of the school, like I might suspect from teachers

that don't want her around.

Debi

>

> I see in my 11 yr old boy that want for self isolation. I think

that just

> the fact he HAS to go to school, forces him out of that a bit. I

think just

> having to follow the family to outings and visits and social situations

> forces that in younger children, especially to NT parents who are

seeking

> out that social scene!

>

> I have to pick up my son every day for lunch and bring him home,

even though

> his classmates all stay at school for lunch. He dreads the lunch

hour, as

> it is a longer recess and he has so much trouble with the social

already. I

> think if he could control his world (and not his mother controlling

it for

> him) he would stay home and read and play Pokemon on his gameboy, or

his

> gamecube, and be quite content with that. He does get bored at

times with

> this, and seeks out his brother (who is also ASD) and they go into this

> world of their own...make believe and role playing. The role

playing is

> very different though...they talk as though you are reading a book.

They

> each play many characters at once, so you hear " Then Vito said.... " and

> " got mad and... " " ...she/he said " It sounds more like they are

reading

> from a script or a book. I am so used to it, it is only when other

kids are

> around who are NT (which is not very often...) that you realize how

> different their play is from their peers.

>

> Anyway...strayed off topic...I guess I was just commenting that

maybe the

> isolation in teens and adult years has something to do with the fact

that

> you are more in control of your " free time " than you are as a child???

>

> Just a thought.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debi,

I am currently homeschooling my 8th grader with Asperger's, so she is home

during the day but she is still involved in " after school " type activities for

socialiazation. She is active in our Girl Scout troop which is only 7 girls,

she is one of three in the troop with Aspergers the other four are NT. It is a

wonderful experience all the girls get along so well and they are very

understanding of the little " quirks " of the Aspie girls. lol. So well that when

problems arise the girls can usually work it out now without adult assistance.

She is also active in our Church's youth group. There have been a few issues

there but the Youth group advisors are wonderful in working with . And

of course her big passion is horses and she spends 3 days out at the barn and is

extremely independant there. In fact, she has a " job " there walking ponies at

pony parties. It is a wonderful experience. Next year, however, she'll be a

ninth grader and is going to return to public

school. We have her MET/IEP next week to determine services for her starting

in the fall. Good luck with your decision. Homeschool can be wonderful for some

children but it's not for all. You know Allie best so trust your instincts

(sp?) as to whether this is a good choice for her.

Debi wrote:

This issue of self isolation is the single thing that makes me worry

about ever homeschooling Allie. I've thought by middle school I might

allow her to be with me during those years. I've heard Dr.

whats-his-name (works with Asperger Syndrome, from Australia I

think??) comment that homeschooling can be almost a necessity for

those with Asperger because the social time of adolescents can be so

brutal. But it seem the more Allie is a home, the less she wants to go

out into the world. I have no problem with her being a home body, I am

too. I just don't want it to become something where she can't function

at all.

I asked one of Allie's teachers who is going to quit to homeschool her

kids what she thought about that for Allie. She was extremely

encouraging which makes me wonder if it might be the ideal situation

for Allie sooner rather than later. After all, she sees what Allie is

exposed to on a daily basis and she's quitting so she has no reason to

try and push us out of the school, like I might suspect from teachers

that don't want her around.

Debi

>

> I see in my 11 yr old boy that want for self isolation. I think

that just

> the fact he HAS to go to school, forces him out of that a bit. I

think just

> having to follow the family to outings and visits and social situations

> forces that in younger children, especially to NT parents who are

seeking

> out that social scene!

>

> I have to pick up my son every day for lunch and bring him home,

even though

> his classmates all stay at school for lunch. He dreads the lunch

hour, as

> it is a longer recess and he has so much trouble with the social

already. I

> think if he could control his world (and not his mother controlling

it for

> him) he would stay home and read and play Pokemon on his gameboy, or

his

> gamecube, and be quite content with that. He does get bored at

times with

> this, and seeks out his brother (who is also ASD) and they go into this

> world of their own...make believe and role playing. The role

playing is

> very different though...they talk as though you are reading a book.

They

> each play many characters at once, so you hear " Then Vito said.... " and

> " got mad and... " " ...she/he said " It sounds more like they are

reading

> from a script or a book. I am so used to it, it is only when other

kids are

> around who are NT (which is not very often...) that you realize how

> different their play is from their peers.

>

> Anyway...strayed off topic...I guess I was just commenting that

maybe the

> isolation in teens and adult years has something to do with the fact

that

> you are more in control of your " free time " than you are as a child???

>

> Just a thought.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debi,

I am currently homeschooling my 8th grader with Asperger's, so she is home

during the day but she is still involved in " after school " type activities for

socialiazation. She is active in our Girl Scout troop which is only 7 girls,

she is one of three in the troop with Aspergers the other four are NT. It is a

wonderful experience all the girls get along so well and they are very

understanding of the little " quirks " of the Aspie girls. lol. So well that when

problems arise the girls can usually work it out now without adult assistance.

She is also active in our Church's youth group. There have been a few issues

there but the Youth group advisors are wonderful in working with . And

of course her big passion is horses and she spends 3 days out at the barn and is

extremely independant there. In fact, she has a " job " there walking ponies at

pony parties. It is a wonderful experience. Next year, however, she'll be a

ninth grader and is going to return to public

school. We have her MET/IEP next week to determine services for her starting

in the fall. Good luck with your decision. Homeschool can be wonderful for some

children but it's not for all. You know Allie best so trust your instincts

(sp?) as to whether this is a good choice for her.

Debi wrote:

This issue of self isolation is the single thing that makes me worry

about ever homeschooling Allie. I've thought by middle school I might

allow her to be with me during those years. I've heard Dr.

whats-his-name (works with Asperger Syndrome, from Australia I

think??) comment that homeschooling can be almost a necessity for

those with Asperger because the social time of adolescents can be so

brutal. But it seem the more Allie is a home, the less she wants to go

out into the world. I have no problem with her being a home body, I am

too. I just don't want it to become something where she can't function

at all.

I asked one of Allie's teachers who is going to quit to homeschool her

kids what she thought about that for Allie. She was extremely

encouraging which makes me wonder if it might be the ideal situation

for Allie sooner rather than later. After all, she sees what Allie is

exposed to on a daily basis and she's quitting so she has no reason to

try and push us out of the school, like I might suspect from teachers

that don't want her around.

Debi

>

> I see in my 11 yr old boy that want for self isolation. I think

that just

> the fact he HAS to go to school, forces him out of that a bit. I

think just

> having to follow the family to outings and visits and social situations

> forces that in younger children, especially to NT parents who are

seeking

> out that social scene!

>

> I have to pick up my son every day for lunch and bring him home,

even though

> his classmates all stay at school for lunch. He dreads the lunch

hour, as

> it is a longer recess and he has so much trouble with the social

already. I

> think if he could control his world (and not his mother controlling

it for

> him) he would stay home and read and play Pokemon on his gameboy, or

his

> gamecube, and be quite content with that. He does get bored at

times with

> this, and seeks out his brother (who is also ASD) and they go into this

> world of their own...make believe and role playing. The role

playing is

> very different though...they talk as though you are reading a book.

They

> each play many characters at once, so you hear " Then Vito said.... " and

> " got mad and... " " ...she/he said " It sounds more like they are

reading

> from a script or a book. I am so used to it, it is only when other

kids are

> around who are NT (which is not very often...) that you realize how

> different their play is from their peers.

>

> Anyway...strayed off topic...I guess I was just commenting that

maybe the

> isolation in teens and adult years has something to do with the fact

that

> you are more in control of your " free time " than you are as a child???

>

> Just a thought.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debi,

Dr. Tony Attwood.

>

>Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls

>To: Autism_in_Girls

>Subject: Re: Re: question on self isolations as older

>teens and adults years

>Date: Thu, 24 May 2007 05:43:33 -0700 (PDT)

>

>Debi,

> I am currently homeschooling my 8th grader with Asperger's, so she is

>home during the day but she is still involved in " after school " type

>activities for socialiazation. She is active in our Girl Scout troop which

>is only 7 girls, she is one of three in the troop with Aspergers the other

>four are NT. It is a wonderful experience all the girls get along so well

>and they are very understanding of the little " quirks " of the Aspie girls.

>lol. So well that when problems arise the girls can usually work it out

>now without adult assistance. She is also active in our Church's youth

>group. There have been a few issues there but the Youth group advisors are

>wonderful in working with . And of course her big passion is horses

>and she spends 3 days out at the barn and is extremely independant there.

>In fact, she has a " job " there walking ponies at pony parties. It is a

>wonderful experience. Next year, however, she'll be a ninth grader and is

>going to return to public

> school. We have her MET/IEP next week to determine services for her

>starting in the fall. Good luck with your decision. Homeschool can be

>wonderful for some children but it's not for all. You know Allie best so

>trust your instincts (sp?) as to whether this is a good choice for her.

>

>Debi wrote:

> This issue of self isolation is the single thing that makes me

>worry

>about ever homeschooling Allie. I've thought by middle school I might

>allow her to be with me during those years. I've heard Dr.

>whats-his-name (works with Asperger Syndrome, from Australia I

>think??) comment that homeschooling can be almost a necessity for

>those with Asperger because the social time of adolescents can be so

>brutal. But it seem the more Allie is a home, the less she wants to go

>out into the world. I have no problem with her being a home body, I am

>too. I just don't want it to become something where she can't function

>at all.

>

>I asked one of Allie's teachers who is going to quit to homeschool her

>kids what she thought about that for Allie. She was extremely

>encouraging which makes me wonder if it might be the ideal situation

>for Allie sooner rather than later. After all, she sees what Allie is

>exposed to on a daily basis and she's quitting so she has no reason to

>try and push us out of the school, like I might suspect from teachers

>that don't want her around.

>

>Debi

>

>

> >

> > I see in my 11 yr old boy that want for self isolation. I think

>that just

> > the fact he HAS to go to school, forces him out of that a bit. I

>think just

> > having to follow the family to outings and visits and social situations

> > forces that in younger children, especially to NT parents who are

>seeking

> > out that social scene!

> >

> > I have to pick up my son every day for lunch and bring him home,

>even though

> > his classmates all stay at school for lunch. He dreads the lunch

>hour, as

> > it is a longer recess and he has so much trouble with the social

>already. I

> > think if he could control his world (and not his mother controlling

>it for

> > him) he would stay home and read and play Pokemon on his gameboy, or

>his

> > gamecube, and be quite content with that. He does get bored at

>times with

> > this, and seeks out his brother (who is also ASD) and they go into this

> > world of their own...make believe and role playing. The role

>playing is

> > very different though...they talk as though you are reading a book.

>They

> > each play many characters at once, so you hear " Then Vito said.... " and

> > " got mad and... " " ...she/he said " It sounds more like they are

>reading

> > from a script or a book. I am so used to it, it is only when other

>kids are

> > around who are NT (which is not very often...) that you realize how

> > different their play is from their peers.

> >

> > Anyway...strayed off topic...I guess I was just commenting that

>maybe the

> > isolation in teens and adult years has something to do with the fact

>that

> > you are more in control of your " free time " than you are as a child???

> >

> > Just a thought.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Debi,

Dr. Tony Attwood.

>

>Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls

>To: Autism_in_Girls

>Subject: Re: Re: question on self isolations as older

>teens and adults years

>Date: Thu, 24 May 2007 05:43:33 -0700 (PDT)

>

>Debi,

> I am currently homeschooling my 8th grader with Asperger's, so she is

>home during the day but she is still involved in " after school " type

>activities for socialiazation. She is active in our Girl Scout troop which

>is only 7 girls, she is one of three in the troop with Aspergers the other

>four are NT. It is a wonderful experience all the girls get along so well

>and they are very understanding of the little " quirks " of the Aspie girls.

>lol. So well that when problems arise the girls can usually work it out

>now without adult assistance. She is also active in our Church's youth

>group. There have been a few issues there but the Youth group advisors are

>wonderful in working with . And of course her big passion is horses

>and she spends 3 days out at the barn and is extremely independant there.

>In fact, she has a " job " there walking ponies at pony parties. It is a

>wonderful experience. Next year, however, she'll be a ninth grader and is

>going to return to public

> school. We have her MET/IEP next week to determine services for her

>starting in the fall. Good luck with your decision. Homeschool can be

>wonderful for some children but it's not for all. You know Allie best so

>trust your instincts (sp?) as to whether this is a good choice for her.

>

>Debi wrote:

> This issue of self isolation is the single thing that makes me

>worry

>about ever homeschooling Allie. I've thought by middle school I might

>allow her to be with me during those years. I've heard Dr.

>whats-his-name (works with Asperger Syndrome, from Australia I

>think??) comment that homeschooling can be almost a necessity for

>those with Asperger because the social time of adolescents can be so

>brutal. But it seem the more Allie is a home, the less she wants to go

>out into the world. I have no problem with her being a home body, I am

>too. I just don't want it to become something where she can't function

>at all.

>

>I asked one of Allie's teachers who is going to quit to homeschool her

>kids what she thought about that for Allie. She was extremely

>encouraging which makes me wonder if it might be the ideal situation

>for Allie sooner rather than later. After all, she sees what Allie is

>exposed to on a daily basis and she's quitting so she has no reason to

>try and push us out of the school, like I might suspect from teachers

>that don't want her around.

>

>Debi

>

>

> >

> > I see in my 11 yr old boy that want for self isolation. I think

>that just

> > the fact he HAS to go to school, forces him out of that a bit. I

>think just

> > having to follow the family to outings and visits and social situations

> > forces that in younger children, especially to NT parents who are

>seeking

> > out that social scene!

> >

> > I have to pick up my son every day for lunch and bring him home,

>even though

> > his classmates all stay at school for lunch. He dreads the lunch

>hour, as

> > it is a longer recess and he has so much trouble with the social

>already. I

> > think if he could control his world (and not his mother controlling

>it for

> > him) he would stay home and read and play Pokemon on his gameboy, or

>his

> > gamecube, and be quite content with that. He does get bored at

>times with

> > this, and seeks out his brother (who is also ASD) and they go into this

> > world of their own...make believe and role playing. The role

>playing is

> > very different though...they talk as though you are reading a book.

>They

> > each play many characters at once, so you hear " Then Vito said.... " and

> > " got mad and... " " ...she/he said " It sounds more like they are

>reading

> > from a script or a book. I am so used to it, it is only when other

>kids are

> > around who are NT (which is not very often...) that you realize how

> > different their play is from their peers.

> >

> > Anyway...strayed off topic...I guess I was just commenting that

>maybe the

> > isolation in teens and adult years has something to do with the fact

>that

> > you are more in control of your " free time " than you are as a child???

> >

> > Just a thought.

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>