Re: Any success living on college campus?

April 22, 2010

Oh boy, I'm with you on this one, . Our son is graduating this year too.

There's been talk about him moving away from home to go to a college that is too

far to commute to, but still in our state. He's dealing with some episodes of

severe vertigo too, and I'm more worried about that than his OCD, because it

comes on out of nowhere, and the docs can't figure it out. But, I also have the

same worries that he will get away from home and forget his meds, upsetting the

delicate balance of his OCD that has been stable for a while now.

I worry about how he will handle the stress of college too, without us there to

support him, daily, if needed.

He also has some side effects from meds. He's dealt with it, because it made

his OCD so much better that the benefit outweighs the side effects.

I've heard some in here say their children completely fell apart after leaving

home for college, which gave me a sick feeling in my stomach to read. But, I'm

sure there are some who do just fine, who aren't talking about it in here,

because their kids are doing fine, and coping.

You know, I feel like I've spent my whole life, worrying about this kid, whose

had it harder than the average kid due to OCD, and it can be incredibly hard to

turn off.

He just came back from a computer programming competition, where he was away

from home for 3 days. I was worried about the vertigo happening, and him having

anxiety from probably not getting enough sleep since he shared a room with 3

other boys. . .So, I was imagining every possible worse case scenario, but he

did fine. Was I relieved. That is spite of many stressful things going wrong

while he was there. He took it all in stride and handled it much better than I

thought he would.

I hope we both hear some success stories from others in here. I know it would

make me feel better. )

BJ

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> My dd is graduating from high school this year and has always said she wanted

to commute to college - in fact, she only applied to college & universities that

were close to home.

>

> Saturday before last, we spent the day on campus (it's only 25 minutes away)

and she decided that she wanted to try living on campus IF she can get a private

bedroom and bathroom through Disability Services (she not only has OCD &

depression, but also gastrointestinal issues).

>

> I was so glad she was willing to try - it would be so wonderful if she could

live on campus and become more independent and really be a part of campus life -

but just today I started having second thoughts (I haven't told her how I'm

feeling). She had a bad day today, she's not sleeping well (because of meds) and

she was feeling very low. I'm really worried that she won't be able to handle

the pressure on-campus and that she won't be able to take care of herself

(remember to take her meds, etc.) I wouldn't be concerned if her medications

were working really well (consistently) and without so many side effects - but

that's not the case.

>

> Has anyone in the group sent your teen off to college when their meds weren't

just right? If so, how did it work out? Was it a good experience? Were they

successful living on campus or did they end up getting worse (and then have to

come back home?)

>

> Thanks in advance for sharing...

>

> (worried mom in NC)

>

April 23, 2010

Hi ,

I can definitely see your point about being worried to send you daughter to

school when her meds aren't right. Although even though her meds aren't right

now, she won't be going until the fall is that right? By then, her meds may be

great. In my opinion if she wants to live on campus I would let her go (as hard

as that will be.) I would at least let her try it out...it may end up being the

best thing in the world for her. If you and she feel it isn't working out, then

she can move home. I would just hate to not let her try something out like that

for fear of what may happen. If your fear does come true, then I would just

deal with that at that time. Just my thoughts...I don't have a teenager, but

having been a college student myself I think I would have resented my parents if

they said I could not have that experience. Good luck.

To:

From: rnelson3@...

Date: Fri, 23 Apr 2010 00:08:09 +0000

Subject: Any success living on college campus?

Hi everyone,

My dd is graduating from high school this year and has always said she wanted to

commute to college - in fact, she only applied to college & universities that

were close to home.

Saturday before last, we spent the day on campus (it's only 25 minutes away) and

she decided that she wanted to try living on campus IF she can get a private

bedroom and bathroom through Disability Services (she not only has OCD &

depression, but also gastrointestinal issues).

I was so glad she was willing to try - it would be so wonderful if she could

live on campus and become more independent and really be a part of campus life -

but just today I started having second thoughts (I haven't told her how I'm

feeling). She had a bad day today, she's not sleeping well (because of meds) and

she was feeling very low. I'm really worried that she won't be able to handle

the pressure on-campus and that she won't be able to take care of herself

(remember to take her meds, etc.) I wouldn't be concerned if her medications

were working really well (consistently) and without so many side effects - but

that's not the case.

Has anyone in the group sent your teen off to college when their meds weren't

just right? If so, how did it work out? Was it a good experience? Were they

successful living on campus or did they end up getting worse (and then have to

come back home?)

Thanks in advance for sharing...

(worried mom in NC)

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April 23, 2010

Hi ! I understand your concern.

went his first 2 years to our local community college so was still at

home. This year he transferred to UNC-CH and is living there.

He's not on medication though. He could use it, but refuses. He suffers bad

thoughts, scrupulosity type of OCD. And his OCD is obvious to me, of course,

but others just probably see " odd " things about him. He'll " mumble " a lot so

often puts a hand up over his mouth when he does this; tries to look casual

about it. I've seen him suddenly squat down to tie his shoe (doesn't need tied)

or other things so he can " do his OCD " (maybe some prayer or some mumbling, not

always sure what/why). He also has Aspergers, so with him there is the social

connection problem, he's not your typical person of 21 (interests, things he

says, how to carry on conversations well...) plus everyday living skills (things

that others seem to just do, come naturally). His driving skills lack (Aspie

side), so no car at UNC.

My thoughts with your daughter are to let her try it. I never like to

underestimate what can do on his own. And we won't know until he tries.

And he often surprises me!

There have been stories here of those who couldn't handle it and returned home

due to OCD, anxiety.... But going away to college for average teens, that

happens too. I can think of 3 " normal " kids (boys and girls) off the top of my

head that have returned home to local/closer colleges after going away to

university. Homesickness or university just " too much " , various reasons.

And with your daughter still so close, don't be surprised if you see her EVERY

weekend. is about 30 min away and he did that the first year a lot. I

even felt like complaining, LOL, why are we paying for it if you're not going to

stay there?? Now his 3rd year, I never see him!

So -- if she's sure she wants to try it, I'd let her.

Just my thoughts,

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> My dd is graduating from high school this year and has always said she wanted

to commute to college - in fact, she only applied to college & universities that

were close to home.

April 24, 2010

My daughter (19) was diagnosed with OCD in elementary school. A combination of

meds, therapy, and being active in high school drama seemed to do the trick. In

September she started college and was living on campus. We live in Japan, so we

could only call her weekly and email several times a day. She has 2 cousins

going to the same school and 5 uncles and aunts that live within an hour of

campus. We thought she had a support network nearby. When she came home for

Christmas she was thrilled with school and couldn't wait to go back. Winter

quarter she started to withdraw a bit from her relatives. We wrote it off as

just being 'independent' and kept up with the calls and emails. Two weeks into

spring quarter I noticed she didn't want to talk on the phone. I thought she

was just homesick and, thank GOD I called her back later that same day. She was

just not sounding like herself. I called again. Things weren't adding up.

Long story short- after 4 hours on the phone, I discovered she had dropped out

of school earlier that week and had taken a bus 800 miles to LA to 'follow her

dream' of being an actress. Her 'plan' was to work part time jobs and land a

role in a movie. This is completely delusional and it is a miracle she wasn't

killed. It took me another 4 hours on the phone to talk her into going to the

airport and getting on a plane to come home.

Within 2 days she met with a doctor and he wants to see her 1x per week for a

month and then reassess. I keep having panic attacks every time I imagine her at

that bus station. She told me she was miserable at school because 'everyone was

judging her.' Today we went to lunch at a sushi bar she has been to dozens of

times and I could see she was agitated. I asked her what was wrong and she

said, " everyone is talking about me and judging me. "

Is this paranoia typical with OCD?

>

> Hi ,

>

> I can definitely see your point about being worried to send you daughter to