Re: school and friend issues

[Guest guest]

Hi, I've been thinking about this for a day now, wish I had some solutions. I

do agree that it seems he's dug a hole now, feels he's gone too far, and that

may be part of the difficulty in getting him back to school (others know he's

been out, how to explain; amount of work, etc., he's missed...). Glad they are

looking at home tutoring. Imagine that's why he's avoiding friends too, not

wanting to explain, not knowing what to say (even truth or another

explanation).... Probably feels overwhelmed, besides the OCD constantly

bothering him.

Is there maybe one good friend he'd feel like calling, doing something with?

Is he staying in touch with any of them on computer (the way kids do these

days)?

>

> Hi, advice and experiences please. Our son has been struggling to go to

school for some time, it started with him saying he felt ill, headaches and cold

etc., then when he did go to school the teachers " jumped " on him for work he had

missed and he then said he didn't feel well again. He said he couldn't get up

in the morning and this led to arguments with us trying to get him up and him

then refusing. Does anyone else have these problems or had these problems. We

have had the school education psychologist around and she has said he feels he

has gone too far and can't go to school, she says she will sort out home

tutoring. He is due to do his GCSE's next year and we hope that this tutoring

will help as he has plans and says he wants to go to university like his

brother.

>

> It's so difficult wish we had a crystal ball then we would have picked up

these issues beforehand and handled and supported in a better way. Its so

confusing because until you know you just think your teenager is going through

the " phase " of pushing boundaries.

>

> He has also started to " hide " from his friends, when we go our in the car and

go through the town, if he sees his friends he pretends not to see them and then

gets quite moody. Again your experiences would be greatly appreciated. Jx

>

[Guest guest]

I think the school could put into place some accommodations to allow him to get

caught up so that he needn't feel so overwhelmed. It's important for him to go

back to school, but sometimes, it is too overhwhelming and a gradual return is

necessary. Check out this site www.worrywisekids.org - re: school phobia

Bonnie

>

> Hi, advice and experiences please. Our son has been struggling to go to

school for some time, it started with him saying he felt ill, headaches and cold

etc., then when he did go to school the teachers " jumped " on him for work he had

missed and he then said he didn't feel well again. He said he couldn't get up

in the morning and this led to arguments with us trying to get him up and him

then refusing. Does anyone else have these problems or had these problems. We

have had the school education psychologist around and she has said he feels he

has gone too far and can't go to school, she says she will sort out home

tutoring. He is due to do his GCSE's next year and we hope that this tutoring

will help as he has plans and says he wants to go to university like his

brother.

>

> It's so difficult wish we had a crystal ball then we would have picked up

these issues beforehand and handled and supported in a better way. Its so

confusing because until you know you just think your teenager is going through

the " phase " of pushing boundaries.

>

> He has also started to " hide " from his friends, when we go our in the car and

go through the town, if he sees his friends he pretends not to see them and then

gets quite moody. Again your experiences would be greatly appreciated. Jx

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter (12) and my niece (16) both have had school refusal.

All the same things happened to us, my daughter had school anxiety

from the start, my niece had school anxiety starting in high

school.

My daughter was in treatment for school anxiety with a well

known school anxiety expert and yet we were powerless to stop

the escalation into school refusal in 5th grade. Sometimes

the school setting is too demanding or the child doesn't really

respond to therapy (they have to talk about what triggers

anxiety to deal with it, my daughter did not want to talk).

School anxiety of the severe type that leads to school

refusal requires a team approach to treat. My daughter

and niece both were treated with medication (zoloft) and

therapy. For both this was not enough. They

both finished their grade with home tutoring and then

required very special school accomodations to get back to

school.

My niece will have a gradual exposure to classes in the

smaller special education classes in the fall. She has

accomodations for all the things that trigger anxiety, such

as changing her clothes for gym, lunch, making presentations,

she has reduced homework etc. She has primarily social

anxiety with some attentional issues.

My daughter was placed in a small special needs school,

because it was clear with her anxiety and her learning issues

she needed a supportive setting. My daughter just finished the

6th grade. She still had many days of tardies and was often

tired in the morning. But the teachers address her

anxiety issues about academics and socializing as they come up.

School refusal is a diagnosis, and the treatment is often,

medication, cognitive therapy, social skill training, relaxation

skills, sometimes family therapy too is added and sometimes

if there are learning issues they need to be addressed.

Best of luck getting this treated.

Pam

>

> Hi, advice and experiences please. Our son has been struggling to go to

school for some time, it started with him saying he felt ill, headaches and cold

etc., then when he did go to school the teachers " jumped " on him for work he had

missed and he then said he didn't feel well again. He said he couldn't get up

in the morning and this led to arguments with us trying to get him up and him

then refusing. Does anyone else have these problems or had these problems. We

have had the school education psychologist around and she has said he feels he

has gone too far and can't go to school, she says she will sort out home

tutoring. He is due to do his GCSE's next year and we hope that this tutoring

will help as he has plans and says he wants to go to university like his

brother.

>

> It's so difficult wish we had a crystal ball then we would have picked up

these issues beforehand and handled and supported in a better way. Its so

confusing because until you know you just think your teenager is going through

the " phase " of pushing boundaries.

>

> He has also started to " hide " from his friends, when we go our in the car and

go through the town, if he sees his friends he pretends not to see them and then

gets quite moody. Again your experiences would be greatly appreciated. Jx

>