Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hi Debi, I have an NT daughter who will be 13 in April. She was the joy of my life. A pleasant happy well behaved child. A joy to be around, ....and then one day when she was about 10 aliens came and replaced her with the beast I live with now. I will be honest with you it was tough at first. We now have gotten into the swing of things. What would happen before is that she didn't know what was going on with her body. She would be happy one minute and then spitting fire the next. Now she is able to recognize the changes in herself and we talk about it a lot. I know when to walk away from her and she knows when to walk away from me too. I love her very very much and I can see glimpses of the wonderful child she was. Now she is just evolving into what will be a wonderful young lady. I try to point out (very gently of course) when I think she is having a mood swing or PMS. (She started her period when she was 10) I think the trick is I also point it out to her when it is me. One time after a bad day I said to her " I think I have PMS today and I have been cranky " She said " Noooo, you think " . A few years ago I bought her a wonderful book from American Girl. I think it is called something like " the care and keeping of you " . It gives them all the info so it kind of goes over what you tell them and gives them a visual. I think also adding to her difficulties is the fact that her autistic sister is only 1 1/2 years younger than her. Where she was always patient and kind to her sister she became spiteful and mean. We talk about that a lot to. I know it is hard for her, I let her know it is hard for me sometimes to. I guess in short, keep the communication open even when you think she is not listening to you....she is. Don't cater to her every whim, but do cut her a break when she needs it. And most of all, hang in there. Terri NT puberty behaviors Since we've been talking so much about puberty, I'm wondering if those with NT kids can help me. My oldest NT daughter is nearly 10. She's starting to go through puberty. Very moody for a few days, then like a light switch silly. She has always been a very thoughtful, sweet child. But here lately it's like she's always mad that the earth doesn't revolve around her. Nothing is fast enough, good enough, or done enough for her. I know my nephew was like this A LOT but he has always been like that to an extent, very petted only child. Just wondering if this is typical behavior or if I should be more concerned. I think I need to read Art of Hugging a Cactus... TIA, Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Sounds pretty normal to me. I'm thinking of my sister when she went through it (9 years younger than me)...she was like that too. Just try and ride it out, lol. It ends eventually Amnesty > > Since we've been talking so much about puberty, I'm wondering if those > with NT kids can help me. My oldest NT daughter is nearly 10. She's > starting to go through puberty. Very moody for a few days, then like a > light switch silly. She has always been a very thoughtful, sweet > child. But here lately it's like she's always mad that the earth > doesn't revolve around her. Nothing is fast enough, good enough, or > done enough for her. I know my nephew was like this A LOT but he has > always been like that to an extent, very petted only child. Just > wondering if this is typical behavior or if I should be more > concerned. I think I need to read Art of Hugging a Cactus... > > TIA, > Debi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 In a message dated 1/31/07 4:19:44 PM Eastern Standard Time, fightingautism@... writes: We're also involved in church, I think that will help some. But I do need to do a better job of praying with her and reading The Bible with her that can be a great way to 'help' a kid understand why he or she cant be rude or behave a certian way. such as the scripture to honor and respect your parents. it all just takes time and patients. and a moment or 2 away for the parents to 'regroup' and relax a little. eric abbys dad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 In a message dated 1/31/07 4:19:44 PM Eastern Standard Time, fightingautism@... writes: We're also involved in church, I think that will help some. But I do need to do a better job of praying with her and reading The Bible with her that can be a great way to 'help' a kid understand why he or she cant be rude or behave a certian way. such as the scripture to honor and respect your parents. it all just takes time and patients. and a moment or 2 away for the parents to 'regroup' and relax a little. eric abbys dad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 Thanks, Terri. What you're describing sounds like to a T. It's breaking my heart though to see her transition. She has always been Allie's biggest advocate, even BIGGER than me! Now I see her doing little mean things to her. I don't make a big deal over it, but inside it hurts. She hasn't started her period yet, but she does have other bodily changes starting. We also have a sibkids here I'm gonna try to get her going to. We're also involved in church, I think that will help some. But I do need to do a better job of praying with her and reading The Bible with her. I watched a great program about the family with 16 kids & they were building their dream house. I've seen it before, but I just love the spirit about the family. The mom said more than one time that they have their ups and downs but that's part of being a family and loving everyone through it. How much more so with out situations. Debi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 Thanks, Terri. What you're describing sounds like to a T. It's breaking my heart though to see her transition. She has always been Allie's biggest advocate, even BIGGER than me! Now I see her doing little mean things to her. I don't make a big deal over it, but inside it hurts. She hasn't started her period yet, but she does have other bodily changes starting. We also have a sibkids here I'm gonna try to get her going to. We're also involved in church, I think that will help some. But I do need to do a better job of praying with her and reading The Bible with her. I watched a great program about the family with 16 kids & they were building their dream house. I've seen it before, but I just love the spirit about the family. The mom said more than one time that they have their ups and downs but that's part of being a family and loving everyone through it. How much more so with out situations. Debi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 I mentioned to you that my daughter began to be mean to her sister. When I finally approached her about it with autism information and a lecture prepared she flipped out. She told me that Giana was her little sister not her little sister with autism and that everyone she knows hates their siblings and that I should just deal with it. She told me that if she was nice to her sister all the time that wouldn't be normal. She told me that she was being just what she wanted to be, a big sister who picked on her little sister and that her sister was being a pain in the neck like a little sister was supposed to be. Well, that put me in my place. Maybe this is how it is supposed to be right now. They will get along and love eachother more when they are older. Hang tough, Terri Re: NT puberty behaviors Thanks, Terri. What you're describing sounds like to a T. It's breaking my heart though to see her transition. She has always been Allie's biggest advocate, even BIGGER than me! Now I see her doing little mean things to her. I don't make a big deal over it, but inside it hurts. She hasn't started her period yet, but she does have other bodily changes starting. We also have a sibkids here I'm gonna try to get her going to. We're also involved in church, I think that will help some. But I do need to do a better job of praying with her and reading The Bible with her. I watched a great program about the family with 16 kids & they were building their dream house. I've seen it before, but I just love the spirit about the family. The mom said more than one time that they have their ups and downs but that's part of being a family and loving everyone through it. How much more so with out situations. Debi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 I mentioned to you that my daughter began to be mean to her sister. When I finally approached her about it with autism information and a lecture prepared she flipped out. She told me that Giana was her little sister not her little sister with autism and that everyone she knows hates their siblings and that I should just deal with it. She told me that if she was nice to her sister all the time that wouldn't be normal. She told me that she was being just what she wanted to be, a big sister who picked on her little sister and that her sister was being a pain in the neck like a little sister was supposed to be. Well, that put me in my place. Maybe this is how it is supposed to be right now. They will get along and love eachother more when they are older. Hang tough, Terri Re: NT puberty behaviors Thanks, Terri. What you're describing sounds like to a T. It's breaking my heart though to see her transition. She has always been Allie's biggest advocate, even BIGGER than me! Now I see her doing little mean things to her. I don't make a big deal over it, but inside it hurts. She hasn't started her period yet, but she does have other bodily changes starting. We also have a sibkids here I'm gonna try to get her going to. We're also involved in church, I think that will help some. But I do need to do a better job of praying with her and reading The Bible with her. I watched a great program about the family with 16 kids & they were building their dream house. I've seen it before, but I just love the spirit about the family. The mom said more than one time that they have their ups and downs but that's part of being a family and loving everyone through it. How much more so with out situations. Debi > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 Your daughter is one smart young lady. I've been trying to explain that to one family I work with when the mom has concerns about her 2 boys fighting a lot. Well, all brothers fight, especially when they are super close in age like her kids are. Autism really has very little to do with it, although it does change HOW they fight some. Anyway, kudos to your daughter for being so insightful. Amnesty > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 Your daughter is one smart young lady. I've been trying to explain that to one family I work with when the mom has concerns about her 2 boys fighting a lot. Well, all brothers fight, especially when they are super close in age like her kids are. Autism really has very little to do with it, although it does change HOW they fight some. Anyway, kudos to your daughter for being so insightful. Amnesty > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 That's what I keep reminding myself. Honestly, my kids almost never fight. We have a very, very peaceful home. When I do see the behavior is makes me in some ways feel more okay about Jess, that she is being normal. on the other hand, the psycho mom in me worries that a change is indicitive of some deeper emotional upset. Lol, I'm never happy! Part of it, too, is that in the past Jess could run how thing went. Now Allie is getting more vocal about how she wants things, and Dinah is 4 now, and a very bossy little 4 yr-old. Must be very frustrating for one used to ruling the roost. Debi > > Your daughter is one smart young lady. I've been trying to explain > that to one family I work with when the mom has concerns about her 2 > boys fighting a lot. Well, all brothers fight, especially when they > are super close in age like her kids are. Autism really has very > little to do with it, although it does change HOW they fight some. > Anyway, kudos to your daughter for being so insightful. > Amnesty > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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