Re: New To Group and Thank You

[Guest guest]

Welcome, . I m kind of new around here, too, but can easily say this is a

wonderful place to be when dealing with all the extra parenting challenges OCD

adds. I hope to see you around more!

>

>Hello to all. My wife and I are new to the OCD Parnting Group. I have been

watching the posts for the last two or three weeks. I wanted to say thank you

for sharing your stories. They have been inspiring and heartbreaking. I

thought that we were really alone on this, and to see that there are many others

out there who share the same fears, and harbor the same hopes as we do, has

given us a great boost in moral.

>

>

>

>My son is 12 and was diagnosed with OCD about a year ago. When he was 8 he

would spend his breaks at school picking up garbage...when he was told not to

anymore (he was not socializing), he would hide garbage in his pockets. We were

clueless! He had a number of other subtle things that he would do that would

drive us nuts and like idiots we would tell him just that. As he got older his

habits changed somewhat. He started to walk differently...he would have to

backtrack and tap his foot a certain way...couldn't walk up stairs w/o touching

each one...tapping of his hands on objects. One day when I told him to go

around the kitchen island because I was doing work, he told me flatly that he

HAD to come this way...when questioned further, he said he couldn't help it, but

he HAD to. My wife figured it out quickly from there.

>

>

>

>The therapist that we have found has been wonderful, but a year into it, I we

can see that this is going to be a long haul. His OCD has changed...or

morphed...many times. We have seen his social situation change dramatically in

the last 6 months. Middle school can be tough on kids, but he is drained. He

says that he just wants to stay home. I don't know how to keep his motivation

up to use the tools that his therapist has given him to fight the OCD (Cognitive

Behavior Therapy).

>

>

>

>I just wanted to share part of our story and say 'Thank You' to all who have

posted. It seemed alittle unfair to just listen and not participate. Your

stories have been very helpful to us. I also share some of the stories w/my

boy, and he gets something out of it. We are looking forward to checking out

the new Kids thread also. My hope is that maybe by sharing we will be able to

help someone else along the line. Thank you!

>

>

>

>

>

> Ackemann

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>I

>

>_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Dear -

 

This is a marathon, not a sprint.  I also missed the queues in my daughter when

she started showing signs at age 9, but 11, full blown intrusive thought OCD. 

I don't know where you live, but I live in Orange County,NY and they have a

transitional schooling program for children who can't be home schooled but are

having difficulty in school with the other kids. My daughter was in the hospital

for 2.5 weeks this year and they were goign to get a slot for her in this

program rather than throw her back into class.  Maybe your area has something

like that for your son?

 

Hope this helps.

 

M

Subject: New To Group and Thank You

To: " <ocdandp " < >

Date: Thursday, April 15, 2010, 11:48 PM

 

Hello to all. My wife and I are new to the OCD Parnting Group. I have been

watching the posts for the last two or three weeks. I wanted to say thank you

for sharing your stories. They have been inspiring and heartbreaking. I thought

that we were really alone on this, and to see that there are many others out

there who share the same fears, and harbor the same hopes as we do, has given us

a great boost in moral.

My son is 12 and was diagnosed with OCD about a year ago. When he was 8 he would

spend his breaks at school picking up garbage...when he was told not to anymore

(he was not socializing) , he would hide garbage in his pockets. We were

clueless! He had a number of other subtle things that he would do that would

drive us nuts and like idiots we would tell him just that. As he got older his

habits changed somewhat. He started to walk differently. ..he would have to

backtrack and tap his foot a certain way...couldn' t walk up stairs w/o touching

each one...tapping of his hands on objects. One day when I told him to go around

the kitchen island because I was doing work, he told me flatly that he HAD to

come this way...when questioned further, he said he couldn't help it, but he HAD

to. My wife figured it out quickly from there.

The therapist that we have found has been wonderful, but a year into it, I we

can see that this is going to be a long haul. His OCD has changed...or

morphed...many times. We have seen his social situation change dramatically in

the last 6 months. Middle school can be tough on kids, but he is drained. He

says that he just wants to stay home. I don't know how to keep his motivation up

to use the tools that his therapist has given him to fight the OCD (Cognitive

Behavior Therapy).

I just wanted to share part of our story and say 'Thank You' to all who have

posted. It seemed alittle unfair to just listen and not participate. Your

stories have been very helpful to us. I also share some of the stories w/my boy,

and he gets something out of it. We are looking forward to checking out the new

Kids thread also. My hope is that maybe by sharing we will be able to help

someone else along the line. Thank you!

Ackemann

I

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

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[Guest guest]

Welcome . Sometimes, I sit back and read more than I post - nothing wrong

with that. It is always really good though to hear from others what is helping

and we are all hear to lend an ear and shoulder.

Bonnie

>

>

> Hello to all. My wife and I are new to the OCD Parnting Group. I have been

watching the posts for the last two or three weeks. I wanted to say thank you

for sharing your stories. They have been inspiring and heartbreaking. I

thought that we were really alone on this, and to see that there are many others

out there who share the same fears, and harbor the same hopes as we do, has

given us a great boost in moral.

>

>

>

> My son is 12 and was diagnosed with OCD about a year ago. When he was 8 he

would spend his breaks at school picking up garbage...when he was told not to

anymore (he was not socializing), he would hide garbage in his pockets. We were

clueless! He had a number of other subtle things that he would do that would

drive us nuts and like idiots we would tell him just that. As he got older his

habits changed somewhat. He started to walk differently...he would have to

backtrack and tap his foot a certain way...couldn't walk up stairs w/o touching

each one...tapping of his hands on objects. One day when I told him to go

around the kitchen island because I was doing work, he told me flatly that he

HAD to come this way...when questioned further, he said he couldn't help it, but

he HAD to. My wife figured it out quickly from there.

>

>

>

> The therapist that we have found has been wonderful, but a year into it, I we

can see that this is going to be a long haul. His OCD has changed...or

morphed...many times. We have seen his social situation change dramatically in

the last 6 months. Middle school can be tough on kids, but he is drained. He

says that he just wants to stay home. I don't know how to keep his motivation

up to use the tools that his therapist has given him to fight the OCD (Cognitive

Behavior Therapy).

>

>

>

> I just wanted to share part of our story and say 'Thank You' to all who have

posted. It seemed alittle unfair to just listen and not participate. Your

stories have been very helpful to us. I also share some of the stories w/my

boy, and he gets something out of it. We are looking forward to checking out

the new Kids thread also. My hope is that maybe by sharing we will be able to

help someone else along the line. Thank you!

>

>

>

>

>

> Ackemann

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Hotmail has tools for the New Busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox.

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>

[Guest guest]

Hi and wife! Glad you shared. Some of what you wrote reminded me of my

son's OCD that first year or so. His began a few months before he turned 12, at

start of 6th grade (middle school!). He had his " quirks " before that but

nothing like when the actual disorder hit and it was OCD 24/7. He's 21 now.

My son occasionally backtracked when walking, I even saw him spin a couple

times. His OCD was a lot of touching, but his had to do with a " feel right "

thing, so he could get " stuck " touching for minutes or hours. One article I

found on OCD fit him the most. He didn't want to talk in detail about his OCD

(or talk at all), so I read this article to him as sort of a " checklist) and

checked off which applied to him and didn't apply. So I found out a bit of

things going on that I didn't know about. But a LOT of things he did weren't in

the article. Here's a link:

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/Touching.html

His touching didn't just involve hands, could be feet or even an elbow that

brushed against something. I was starting to feel like his body was just

superglue!

His also seemed to morph into different things that first year or so. Some

things came/went fast, some stayed a bit, new things pop up, and some stayed for

the long-term!

Middle school was definitely rough for him, he'll even say that. Luckily he

liked going to school, so wasn't a hardship for me to get him out of the house

in the a.m. to go. He liked the learning part of school and I think his OCD

bothered him less while there since school was just a busy time for those hours.

He also has an Aspergers diagnosis (on autism spectrum) so his social life with

peers wasn't that great anyway, but he was in the regular classrooms, smart kid!

But we did get him a 504 Plan for school, couldn't have got by without it since

OCD affected him being able to do the work.

Is your son on any medication for his OCD?

single mom, 3 sons

>

>

> Hello to all. My wife and I are new to the OCD Parnting Group. I have been

watching the posts for the last two or three weeks. I wanted to say thank you

for sharing your stories. They have been inspiring and heartbreaking. I

thought that we were really alone on this, and to see that there are many others

out there who share the same fears, and harbor the same hopes as we do, has

given us a great boost in moral.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome, and wife.

You are not alone. You've found many who understand what you are going through.

We also made the mistake of telling our son to stop doing things before we

figured out that something more was going on. I suspect that is common. If you

don't know what you are seeing (OCD), you assume they are just being an annoying

kid. It wasn't until our son's OCD flared, and got out of control, that we

realized he needed help.

You said the therapist is using CBT. Is he/she also using ERP (Exposure and

Response Prevention)? That is key to OCD improving. Have you been seeing

improvement of him overcoming OCs? It is a long process, but worth it. Our son

went from being on the sofa, in the fetal position, clenched and moaning, to

living a relatively normal life. He still has things flare up, sometimes daily,

but he knows how to apply ERP to it and get it back under control, so he is

controlling the OCD more than it is controlling him.

Glad you decided to speak up. )

BJ

>

>

> Hello to all. My wife and I are new to the OCD Parnting Group. I have been

watching the posts for the last two or three weeks. I wanted to say thank you

for sharing your stories. They have been inspiring and heartbreaking. I

thought that we were really alone on this, and to see that there are many others

out there who share the same fears, and harbor the same hopes as we do, has

given us a great boost in moral.

>

>

>

> My son is 12 and was diagnosed with OCD about a year ago. When he was 8 he

would spend his breaks at school picking up garbage...when he was told not to

anymore (he was not socializing), he would hide garbage in his pockets. We were

clueless! He had a number of other subtle things that he would do that would

drive us nuts and like idiots we would tell him just that. As he got older his

habits changed somewhat. He started to walk differently...he would have to

backtrack and tap his foot a certain way...couldn't walk up stairs w/o touching

each one...tapping of his hands on objects. One day when I told him to go

around the kitchen island because I was doing work, he told me flatly that he

HAD to come this way...when questioned further, he said he couldn't help it, but

he HAD to. My wife figured it out quickly from there.

>

>

>

> The therapist that we have found has been wonderful, but a year into it, I we

can see that this is going to be a long haul. His OCD has changed...or

morphed...many times. We have seen his social situation change dramatically in

the last 6 months. Middle school can be tough on kids, but he is drained. He

says that he just wants to stay home. I don't know how to keep his motivation

up to use the tools that his therapist has given him to fight the OCD (Cognitive

Behavior Therapy).

>

>

>

> I just wanted to share part of our story and say 'Thank You' to all who have

posted. It seemed alittle unfair to just listen and not participate. Your

stories have been very helpful to us. I also share some of the stories w/my

boy, and he gets something out of it. We are looking forward to checking out

the new Kids thread also. My hope is that maybe by sharing we will be able to

help someone else along the line. Thank you!

>

>

>

>

>

> Ackemann

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Hotmail has tools for the New Busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox.

>

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>

>

[Guest guest]

The touching thing that you describe is spot on what Z does. He's even talked

about it " feeling right " . No he is not on meds. Our therapist does not think

that he is a candidate for meds yet. We've had a few back slides in the last

month, but we think it is because we let the therepy go to once a month at our

sons request. Even he seems to understand that going more frequently will be

benificial. He has always been very verbal and very social...with adults. His

teachers at school describe him as maybe 'too mature' for his age, and that is

why he is not connecting...I'm not so sure, but we're monitoring. One day at a

time. One of the group told me that this is a marathon and not a sprint...this

view helps me in being patient in what my expectations and hopes are. Thanks

for the link. Also, how is your boy now in terms of dealing w/his OCD. Thank

you again.

_________________________________________________________________

The New Busy think 9 to 5 is a cute idea. Combine multiple calendars with

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[Guest guest]

I thought of as more mature too. He was (is) just so intellectual,

smart.... Better vocabulary use than the rest of us too, LOL.

When OCD began for him (6th grade), we couldn't find a therapist here. And I

worked at our local mental health center (office work). So we just managed on

our own. Research, read, join this group, read, learn about OCD, therapy, etc.

Started slow, easy, working on what I felt was easiest. Actually, he did see a

therapist, more " talk " therapy really. But I thought if he had someone to

" report to " about his OCD, maybe he'd put forth more effort. He wasn't much

talkative to the therapist, he was " fine " or " doing better " etc and that was

about all he'd say. I believe the therapist was more interested that

didn't get along with his brothers, particularly his twin (not identical), and

this caused stress, etc.

I put him on inositol powder in middle school too, used that 6-8th grade. It

really helped, and he made more progress. And eventually things were MUCH

better. Eventually. Like a year later, but still some things to work on

here/there. Then OCD seemed to creep back in a little more in 8th. Short

story -- put him on Celexa for 9th and 10th grades, worked GREAT! He wanted to

quit medication so we weaned him off, he was okay. Then, as I'd read could

happen, OCD returned middle of 11th grade and this time was " bad thoughts " and

more the scrupulosity type of OCD. He's refused medication too. So, at 21,

still suffers with it. We did find a good therapist, but just does not

have good insight into his thoughts being OCD, and therapist couldn't get past

that block to get to work on things. I think maybe the Aspergers part

of him might be affecting his insight on this. He doesn't see all these

thoughts as OCD. Sigh, really, I was about wishing for the " old OCD " with the

touching, easier for him to see that as OCD.

He's still managed to participate in life, went to community college, did GREAT,

is now at UNC-Chapel Hill. Between the OCD and the Aspie part, I know others

still see him as " different " (but don't know why he is) as if you're around him

long enough you can just tell he's not your average, typical, everyday person -

he's different. But from about mid-high school on, peers started being nice to

him, accepting his differences. Same in college. So he's enjoyed all this!

(me too!)

I've tried every argument for him to try medication again. Even just to take

medication, let it work, and " what's left isn't OCD " -- LOL, hoping it'd make

all thoughts go away since he feels thoughts are *him* and not caused by OCD,

that OCD just makes him obsess on them so he's constantly thinking them or about

them.... We did try inositol powder again, 2 or 3 times, didn't help this time

around. Tried other alternatives too. He'll try alternatives/supplements but

not prescription!

Well, didn't mean to write a book! But this is still the " short version " of our

story!

, 21, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

>

>

> The touching thing that you describe is spot on what Z does. He's even talked

about it " feeling right " . No he is not on meds. Our therapist does not think

that he is a candidate for meds yet. We've had a few back slides in the last

month, but we think it is because we let the therepy go to once a month at our

sons request. Even he seems to understand that going more frequently will be

benificial. He has always been very verbal and very social...with adults. His

[Guest guest]

I don't know what you and your wife's situation is at home but I cannot imagine

sending my child to school with OCD.  I'm sure many people would disagree with

me, but I am so thankful that we were already home schooling when my girls were

diagnosed with OCD.  It is difficult enough today as a kid in school, but add

OCD or any other challenge and you have just doubled their stress.  There are so

many opportunities today for home schoolers all over the country.  We are

involved in a home school support group which plans many activities like park

days, field trips, service projects and more.  We are also involved in a co-op

where the kids take classes once per week with other home schoolers and do their

school work at home on the other days.  There are also online schools.  The

possibilities are almost endless.  Just a thought.  If you think it would help

ease the stress and symptoms for your child it could be worth it.  It seems like

a sad

life when a child has to go to school all day and try to cope with their OCD in

public and then some of them come home and have meltdowns because they have

tried to hide it all day.  I know some kids have milder OCD and cope just fine,

and some kids actually enjoy going to school, so please do not send me 100

emails about how wrong I am.  This is just my opinion and something that works

wonderfully for my family.

 

Deneen

[Guest guest]

Thanks again for sharing Chris...and there is no short story with this thing I'm

finding. OCD aside, the parenting portion of this is a tremendous surprise to

me...and not a pleasant one. It is so painful to see your child hurting

(emotional is worse than physical I think) and to feel powerless to help...to

just step in and 'fix' it. My wife and I are both in 'fix it' fields...she a RN

and me in the fire service, and not being able to have a fix is extremely

frustrating. This is becoming such a consuming thing. I think in the grand

picture, we are still at the beginning of the race so to speak. Alot of the

info on this group site is super. It is extremely helpful to all of us here.

Sounds like your boy has done really well...the fact that he is engaged in his

own situation is big. I don't know enough about the meds involved yet. To be

honest, it is a fear of mine to put Z on meds. My wife and I have talked

endlessly about it. We are both pretty familiar with many of the different

phyc. meds, but never imagined in a million years that we would be in a position

to have to decide if that would be a good choice to help treat our boy. Pisses

you off really. Interesting...as I write this I get angry...something I havn't

shared. I gotta think that anger is part of other parents frustration. Not so

much the 'why us', as the anger at it all...not just my kid, but ANY kid. Over

the years, I have seen way too many bad things happen to children, and it never

stops making me angry...Sorry...rambling here. My own blog/book. Take care,

and again thank you so much for the info, and sharing...I think it is theraputic

for us all.

Sincerely,

To:

From: @...

Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:26:00 +0000

Subject: Re: New To Group and Thank You

I thought of as more mature too. He was (is) just so intellectual,

smart.... Better vocabulary use than the rest of us too, LOL.

When OCD began for him (6th grade), we couldn't find a therapist here. And I

worked at our local mental health center (office work). So we just managed on

our own. Research, read, join this group, read, learn about OCD, therapy, etc.

Started slow, easy, working on what I felt was easiest. Actually, he did see a

therapist, more " talk " therapy really. But I thought if he had someone to

" report to " about his OCD, maybe he'd put forth more effort. He wasn't much

talkative to the therapist, he was " fine " or " doing better " etc and that was

about all he'd say. I believe the therapist was more interested that

didn't get along with his brothers, particularly his twin (not identical), and

this caused stress, etc.

I put him on inositol powder in middle school too, used that 6-8th grade. It

really helped, and he made more progress. And eventually things were MUCH

better. Eventually. Like a year later, but still some things to work on

here/there. Then OCD seemed to creep back in a little more in 8th. Short story

-- put him on Celexa for 9th and 10th grades, worked GREAT! He wanted to quit

medication so we weaned him off, he was okay. Then, as I'd read could happen,

OCD returned middle of 11th grade and this time was " bad thoughts " and more the

scrupulosity type of OCD. He's refused medication too. So, at 21, still suffers

with it. We did find a good therapist, but just does not have good

insight into his thoughts being OCD, and therapist couldn't get past that block

to get to work on things. I think maybe the Aspergers part of him might

be affecting his insight on this. He doesn't see all these thoughts as OCD.

Sigh, really, I was about wishing for the " old OCD " with the touching, easier

for him to see that as OCD.

He's still managed to participate in life, went to community college, did GREAT,

is now at UNC-Chapel Hill. Between the OCD and the Aspie part, I know others

still see him as " different " (but don't know why he is) as if you're around him

long enough you can just tell he's not your average, typical, everyday person -

he's different. But from about mid-high school on, peers started being nice to

him, accepting his differences. Same in college. So he's enjoyed all this! (me

too!)

I've tried every argument for him to try medication again. Even just to take

medication, let it work, and " what's left isn't OCD " -- LOL, hoping it'd make

all thoughts go away since he feels thoughts are *him* and not caused by OCD,

that OCD just makes him obsess on them so he's constantly thinking them or about

them.... We did try inositol powder again, 2 or 3 times, didn't help this time

around. Tried other alternatives too. He'll try alternatives/supplements but not

prescription!

Well, didn't mean to write a book! But this is still the " short version " of our

story!

, 21, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

>

>

> The touching thing that you describe is spot on what Z does. He's even talked

about it " feeling right " . No he is not on meds. Our therapist does not think

that he is a candidate for meds yet. We've had a few back slides in the last

month, but we think it is because we let the therepy go to once a month at our

sons request. Even he seems to understand that going more frequently will be

benificial. He has always been very verbal and very social...with adults. His

_________________________________________________________________

Hotmail has tools for the New Busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your inbox.

http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en\

-US:WM_HMP:042010_1

[Guest guest]

, powerless is a good description. I remember that feeling when OCD began.

Couldn't fix it!

And anger - I had to remind myself frequently that it was OCD I was angry,

frustrated with and not . Had to apologize to sometimes too,

tell him that I knew sometimes it seemed directed at him but it was OCD I was

fed up with. Had to remember that wasn't in control.

Medication - you might look at alternatives to try, like inositol powder (in B

vitamin family). Also some have felt they got relief from a couple Native

Remedies products. You can use the search function and look thru past posts,

should turn up a lot of messages on those two.

After reading all about treatment for OCD, and joining this group, it did help

me feel more in control to help . Though, LOL, doesn't mean I didn't

complain still, vent here. It was a long road. Though I guess I adapted too,

to having OCD around.

And now that he's 21, I just have to sit back and feel bad for him with what his

OCD is now, those bad thoughts. He has the choice of getting medication and/or

therapy at UNC-CH if he wants to, but he just doesn't. I can encourage him but

that's about it.

>

>

> Thanks again for sharing Chris...and there is no short story with this thing

I'm finding. OCD aside, the parenting portion of this is a tremendous surprise

to me...and not a pleasant one. It is so painful to see your child hurting

(emotional is worse than physical I think) and to feel powerless to help...to

just step in and 'fix' it. My wife and I are both in 'fix it' fields...she a RN

and me in the fire service, and not being able to have a fix is extremely > To:

[Guest guest]

, meds are a scary thing. The first time our son went on them, he was

unable to come out of the bathroom for hours on end, due to OCD telling him he

had not completely emptied his bladder. He was often up until 5 am, unable to

come out of the bathroom to go to bed. I was terrified of medication, since he

was young (about 10 at the time, I think). We finally, out of desperation, had

to try something. An amazing thing happened. Within one week, things improved.

Within two, his bathroom issues disappeared. This had been going on for about 3

years, worsening over time, but it was just gone. And he didn't have any of the

terrible, scary side effects we had worried about either.

I'm not advocating that everyone should use meds, but just saying sometimes they

are needed and very helpful. We found the very thing we were scared of, was the

very thing that helped.

But, as I mentioned, in a private email, ERP therapy is the first line of

treatment. It sounds like you are on your way with that, so unless the anxiety

is way too high to be able to do the therapy, I would give it a chance to work

first. You might be one of the lucky ones who doesn't need that assist of

medication.

And I agree. . The mental/emotional is worse than the physical in many ways.

Our son deals with physical problems on top of the OCD, and the OCD has always

been more stressful to cope with. But, most improve with the correct therapy

and/or meds, and can live a good life. Our son, who was considered severe, went

from being completely incapacitated to living a relatively normal life,

excelling in many areas. His OCD still flares, but he has the tools to fight it

and hopefully can continue to keep it under control.

BJ

> >

> >

> > The touching thing that you describe is spot on what Z does. He's even

talked about it " feeling right " . No he is not on meds. Our therapist does not

think that he is a candidate for meds yet. We've had a few back slides in the

last month, but we think it is because we let the therepy go to once a month at

our sons request. Even he seems to understand that going more frequently will be

benificial. He has always been very verbal and very social...with adults. His

>

>

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm very behind on my posts, but I wanted to welcome you to the group. I think

you  will find it a great source of support for yourself and your family.

You are definitley not alone!!

As far as you making comments to your son,you are only human and can only take

so much. I find myself doing that with my son as well. I'll make stupid comments

when I know darn well he is ill.It is very stressful,and we are all in for a

very long haul,I wanted to let you know that  you are doing the best you can.

Ocd waxes and wanes, as soon as you get one thing under control another thing

pops up out of the blue.

Hugs

Judy

________________________________

To: " <ocdandp " < >

Sent: Thu, April 15, 2010 11:48:28 PM

Subject: New To Group and Thank You

 

Hello to all. My wife and I are new to the OCD Parnting Group. I have been

watching the posts for the last two or three weeks. I wanted to say thank you

for sharing your stories. They have been inspiring and heartbreaking. I thought

that we were really alone on this, and to see that there are many others out

there who share the same fears, and harbor the same hopes as we do, has given us

a great boost in moral.

My son is 12 and was diagnosed with OCD about a year ago. When he was 8 he would

spend his breaks at school picking up garbage...when he was told not to anymore

(he was not socializing) , he would hide garbage in his pockets. We were

clueless! He had a number of other subtle things that he would do that would

drive us nuts and like idiots we would tell him just that. As he got older his

habits changed somewhat. He started to walk differently. ..he would have to

backtrack and tap his foot a certain way...couldn' t walk up stairs w/o touching

each one...tapping of his hands on objects. One day when I told him to go around

the kitchen island because I was doing work, he told me flatly that he HAD to

come this way...when questioned further, he said he couldn't help it, but he HAD

to. My wife figured it out quickly from there.

The therapist that we have found has been wonderful, but a year into it, I we

can see that this is going to be a long haul. His OCD has changed...or

morphed...many times. We have seen his social situation change dramatically in

the last 6 months. Middle school can be tough on kids, but he is drained. He

says that he just wants to stay home. I don't know how to keep his motivation up

to use the tools that his therapist has given him to fight the OCD (Cognitive

Behavior Therapy).

I just wanted to share part of our story and say 'Thank You' to all who have

posted. It seemed alittle unfair to just listen and not participate. Your

stories have been very helpful to us. I also share some of the stories w/my boy,

and he gets something out of it. We are looking forward to checking out the new

Kids thread also. My hope is that maybe by sharing we will be able to help

someone else along the line. Thank you!

Ackemann

I

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[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group! I am fairly new at this too. As a matter of fact, though

we have suspected OCD in our 9 year old daughter for a little while, she was

just officially diagnosed today. I hear the pain in your email and it brought

tears to my eyes. It's the 3rd email I have cried over. Maybe I'm just overly

emotional right now LOL! =)

You are not alone. My husband and I continue to beat oursleves up over not

figuring it out earlier, or sometimes not having the patience to deal with it.

My daughter feels we favor our 4 year old son because I know she can feel the

irritation level with her sometimes and I want so desperately to change that.

It is a long, tough road, but we are all in it together. I hope you and your

wife are a great support for one another. I know the fact that my husband and I

are on the same page with all of this means a lot. We also want to avoid

medication at all costs, but I am still taking mental notes when I read about it

so that if that ever does come up.....

Anyways, your venting, questions and yes, even happy stories are very much

welcome here!

Heidi - WA

RE: Re: New To Group and Thank You

hanks again for sharing Chris...and there is no short story with this thing I'm

inding. OCD aside, the parenting portion of this is a tremendous surprise to

e...and not a pleasant one. It is so painful to see your child hurting

emotional is worse than physical I think) and to feel powerless to help...to

ust step in and 'fix' it. My wife and I are both in 'fix it' fields...she a RN

nd me in the fire service, and not being able to have a fix is extremely

rustrating. This is becoming such a consuming thing. I think in the grand

icture, we are still at the beginning of the race so to speak. Alot of the

nfo on this group site is super. It is extremely helpful to all of us here.

ounds like your boy has done really well...the fact that he is engaged in his

wn situation is big. I don't know enough about the meds involved yet. To be

onest, it is a fear of mine to put Z on meds. My wife and I have talked

ndlessly about it. We are both pretty familiar with many

of the different phyc. meds, but never imagined in a million years that we

ould be in a position to have to decide if that would be a good choice to help

reat our boy. Pisses you off really. Interesting...as I write this I get

ngry...something I havn't shared. I gotta think that anger is part of other

arents frustration. Not so much the 'why us', as the anger at it all...not

ust my kid, but ANY kid. Over the years, I have seen way too many bad things

appen to children, and it never stops making me angry...Sorry...rambling here.

y own blog/book. Take care, and again thank you so much for the info, and

haring...I think it is theraputic for us all.

Sincerely,

o:

rom: @...

ate: Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:26:00 +0000

ubject: Re: New To Group and Thank You

I thought of as more mature too. He was (is) just so intellectual,

mart.... Better vocabulary use than the rest of us too, LOL.

When OCD began for him (6th grade), we couldn't find a therapist here. And I

orked at our local mental health center (office work). So we just managed on

ur own. Research, read, join this group, read, learn about OCD, therapy, etc.

tarted slow, easy, working on what I felt was easiest. Actually, he did see a

herapist, more " talk " therapy really. But I thought if he had someone to

report to " about his OCD, maybe he'd put forth more effort. He wasn't much

alkative to the therapist, he was " fine " or " doing better " etc and that was

bout all he'd say. I believe the therapist was more interested that

idn't get along with his brothers, particularly his twin (not identical), and

his caused stress, etc.

I put him on inositol powder in middle school too, used that 6-8th grade. It

eally helped, and he made more progress. And eventually things were MUCH

etter. Eventually. Like a year later, but still some things to work on

ere/there. Then OCD seemed to creep back in a little more in 8th. Short story

- put him on Celexa for 9th and 10th grades, worked GREAT! He wanted to quit

edication so we weaned him off, he was okay. Then, as I'd read could happen,

CD returned middle of 11th grade and this time was " bad thoughts " and more the

crupulosity type of OCD. He's refused medication too. So, at 21, still suffers

ith it. We did find a good therapist, but just does not have good

nsight into his thoughts being OCD, and therapist couldn't get past that block

o get to work on things. I think maybe the Aspergers part of him might

e affecting his insight on this. He doesn't see all these thoughts as OCD.

igh, really, I was about wishing for the " old OCD " with the

touching, easier for him to see that as OCD.

He's still managed to participate in life, went to community college, did GREAT,

s now at UNC-Chapel Hill. Between the OCD and the Aspie part, I know others

till see him as " different " (but don't know why he is) as if you're around him

ong enough you can just tell he's not your average, typical, everyday person -

e's different. But from about mid-high school on, peers started being nice to

im, accepting his differences. Same in college. So he's enjoyed all this! (me

oo!)

I've tried every argument for him to try medication again. Even just to take

edication, let it work, and " what's left isn't OCD " -- LOL, hoping it'd make

ll thoughts go away since he feels thoughts are *him* and not caused by OCD,

hat OCD just makes him obsess on them so he's constantly thinking them or about

hem.... We did try inositol powder again, 2 or 3 times, didn't help this time

round. Tried other alternatives too. He'll try alternatives/supplements but not

rescription!

Well, didn't mean to write a book! But this is still the " short version " of our

tory!

tephen, 21, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

The touching thing that you describe is spot on what Z does. He's even talked

bout it " feeling right " . No he is not on meds. Our therapist does not think

hat he is a candidate for meds yet. We've had a few back slides in the last

onth, but we think it is because we let the therepy go to once a month at our

ons request. Even he seems to understand that going more frequently will be

enificial. He has always been very verbal and very social...with adults. His

________________________________________________________________

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