Boyfriend showing abrupt loss of libido, lexapro

[Guest guest]

New here, suffering and confused by boyfriend's sudden loss of libido

and defensive behavior when we tried discussing it. Instead of opening

up, and offering other intimate communications, he now responds to

just about every interaction with a shut down attitude, violent exits

and harsh words. (Tantrums, essentially, followed by deep apologies

the next day.) This is not just about sex but allowing communication

to flow in spite of the obvious lack.

What I am seeing here is an irrational response to just about

everything I suggest or express, I cannot tell him I am hurt or miss

him, he interprets this as an attack or fault finding on my part. He

panics and says horrific things in texts (Going so far as to break up

via text two days ago) as his mind just reels out of control. I

suggest time and space to cool off and this means to him I don't care

or am unwilling to work on things. If I just take the time and space

and don;t respond to texts during our work day, accusations fly in the

same way. I can;t win.

I do not know this person, normally sweet, good natured and funny,

this man has become a monster. All he said on the subject of libido

was to YELL that he will see his doctor this month- but in the

meantime- there has been a severe communication breakdown and several

irrational misunderstandings escalating into flight, he will literally

storm out of (my) house screaming obscenities, saying it's over -

after quiet, gentle conversations where i perhaps express that I miss

him or the us I know.

We've been together 4 months. A beautiful sweet four months with

normal ups/downs but nothing to this degree. he's been taking Lexapro

for 6 months. The argument originally caused a (((severe))) reaction

in him of defense for Lexapro... he'd rather live with no libido he

said... than feel the way he used to feel. Fine. But I'm left in the

dark and he's made me feel like a predator. so I backed off... but we

need to communicate. His response has been a repeated irrational

invention of conflict where it otherwise doesn't exist when i try to

move forward with non sexual communication. He's angry and unable to

articulate why- only to say I make him feel like everything he does is

wrong.

My style is SO not that, I'm simply trying to relate and heal us.

I find that Lexapro, combined with alcohol, can have dire consequences

to the personality and rational mind. (I experienced it myself a few

years ago, so I know.) And this experience just confirms the danger of

meds, when rational thinking is just gone and everything becomes knee

jerk. Loss of libido? Check. Loss of reason? Check.

What should my response be at this point and does anyone have any

similar experiences with partners on SSRI? He is utterly unreachable

at this point and I truly am a loving, concerned girlfriend who misses

her mate. I don't know this person and am in great pain.

He has walked out on me twice this week, over basically, nothing.

Today he has indicated his status as single to the world, shocking

news to me.

So lost. Help? Thank you, and please be kind.