Worst case scenario

[Guest guest]

Worst case of my dad getting angry at me:

**He should have let me collect nickels from the neighbors to watch my

rollerskating show in the driveway.

No it's not true. He didn't let me do it. When I think that he should, I'm

afraid of having to tell my friends that my dad said No...and that was the

most embarassing part. I didn't want them to think my dad was a grouch. I

wanted them to like him. It makes me wish I hadn't been all excited and

invited him to the show..that way he would never have known we were asking a n

ickel for admission. I feel greedy and guilty and rude for even coming up

with the idea -- if I was even the one who thought of it. We all just thought

it would be fun. I start projecting what it would have been like if he had

let me collect the money...because it ended up that I couldn't even

participate in the show that my friends and I had been preparing all morning.

I didn't even care about the 5 cents. I just wanted to do our skating routine

with my friends and he made me stay inside even though I said I wouldn't ask

for the money. I cry at him and stand there exasperated and run to tell my

mom. She can't get him to see the innocence in it either. It makes me angry

that he says I can't collect 5 cents when he's allowed to go out gambling 

and ends up giving away our furniture. (Work to be done on gambling

lingers...) It makes me angry that he didn't think my show was worth 5 cents

of his money to come out and watch. I'm afraid to be around him later in the

day because I don't want him to give me that disappointed look again that

makes me feel so guilty.

Without the thought that he should have let me collect money for my show, I'm

just a girl who told her dad what she was doing and he disapproved. I'm not

afraid of my friends thinking bad things about him. I'm not attached to my

rollerskating routine. I can play with them another time. I stop being afraid

of his gentle anger that makes me feel guilty. I see him on his recliner

looking the way he looked when I told him and am not afraid of his words or

expressions. In fact, I don't even remember him really looking at me when he

got angry about it...he just kept watching the TV...and this is the time he

got angry at me that I consider the worst. So without the thought, my worst

angry memory of him blends in with the other times he was *angry* at me...and

this one doesn't stick out as much. I stop thinking that he was putting a

price tag on my show and that he didn't think I was worth 5 cents. It was his

business what he thought of my show, and he told me...and I told him mine.

Without the story, it's totally fine.

TA> He shouldn't have let me collect money. Reality.

TA> I shouldn't expect my dad to like all my ideas.

TA> I shouldn't be surprised when he makes me stay inside.

TA> I shouldn't have asked for 5 cents. Reality was that I did. My dad was

the only parent who thought it was a bad idea. I certainly didn't ask for 5

cents in future skating escapades!

TA. I shouldn't justify wanting 5 cents because he gambled.

TA> I didn't need the 5 cents or to participate in my routine.