Why sex should be confined.......To dear Ashok

[Guest guest]

3 things....(Not necessarily in that order..)

1.Here in America, society has witnessed the myriad of social problems because

of its liberal attitudes to sex---sex without boundaries...and is slowly trying

to limp back to the days when sex was one of the fruits of a consummate

marriage.

....................................was it ever like that before?.

Meaning, did they ever have a society where sex was the fruit of consummate

marriage,Ashok?

B'cos, ever since I have read history books, I have always gathered the opinion

that Americans and the White race always practised Free sex and the churches

around Europe had a tough time curbing such rash behaviour

2.Inspite of having a love marriage I am an admirer of arranged marriages too --

where marriage helps two strangers to fall in love and a beautiful relationship

emerges -- to me that is one of the pinnacles of civilization

.......No,I don't agree to that,b'cos,even though in most cases, it is the

parents and the priest, through the Janampatris,good khandaan, etc etc, fix up

such arranged marriages,these marriages r not necessarily the pinnacle of

civilisation,but u could say,a day to day task of adjustments,patience and then

staying in the contract of marriage,between two unwilling partners, just for the

sake of the society,the sake of their children etc etc.

In our grandparents/parent's time,the women folk were dependant on the men folk

for security,finacial needs etc and stayed put in marriage despite the

traumas,they had to bear sometimes.

But with growing women power and financial independence,the women tend to walk

out of unhappy arranged marriages today.

So,sex or no sex,mental balance and quality time with family is needed for a

stable marriage.

If u give this in any marriage,I think it will click.

3.U HAVE INDEED MANAGED TO WRITE A LONG MAIL,AFTER ALL ASHOK.Changed New Year's

resolution,I see.

Shyam(84)

Re: Dressing up-Moms and Dads

>>

>>

>> > Well, decided to chip in regarding this pre-marital sex issue.

>> > two-three things I would like to say.

>> > We must examine our own values on the whys of sex. Just because it is

>> > our 'culture' of no pre-marital sex, does it make everyone engaging in

>> > it wrong, and as a corollary, does it make everybody involved in sex

>> > post-marriage right?

>> >

>> > To clarify, let me give two extreme situations. a boy and girl very

>> > much and truly in love, want to share it all, including their bodies,

>> > want to experience it all with the one special person, want to give it

>> > all to that one person, so decide to have sex (I'd prefer the tern

>> > 'love-making' here!). of course, they are not married, and i will not

>> > discuss whether they intend to get married, are engaged, or... this is

>> > immaterial.

>> >

>> > On the other hand is this couple, very much married, but 'horrible'

>> > husband, but who feles it is right to have sex with his wife and

>> > so..... This is sex within marriage.

>> >

>> > On a very neutral and 'culturally appropriate' for India setting, an

>> > arranged match, girl boy do not really 'know' each other, not really

>> > in 'love' are put in the same bedroom on the first night and expected

>> > to....., or if not then, a few days later on the honeymoon.... Of

>> > course the physical plaesure etc. is there, and the 'hormones' rage

>> > then, it's not forced, but what about love????

>> >

>> > Basically when I think about sex, I remember what my mother had told

>> > me when she had talked about the 'birds and the bees'. She said that

>> > there was no doubt that sex done well gives you physical pleasure. but

>> > that was not all. Sex with the right person, gives you such an

>> > emotional bond, a 'high', a sense of emotional fulfilment.... I

>> > remember she said " You cannot get any closer to a person, than when

>> > you are making love " . She went ahead and said that this is something

>> > we should keep in mind should we (my sis and i) ever decide to have

>> > sex. Of course as a mother she cannot realy tell us that pre-marital

>> > sex is OK. But if we ever engaged in it for 'love' and keeping all the

>> > above in mind, 'as a woman' she would understand why we did it!.

>> >

>> > And even 18-19 years down the line, I have not forgoten that!

>> >

>> > So rather than drilling 'culture' and dos and don'ts, and 'not your

>> > age' fundas, explain what it really means to have sex. of course as

>> > docs we can add the 'dangers of unprotected sex!! But let's that not

>> > dilute the issue of the 'beauty' of sex, as I like to think of it.

>> >

>> > I'm going to gift to my daughter what my mother had gifted to me.

>> >

>> > Love to all.

>> > Anchita (93)

>>

>>

>>

>>

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>> Website: www.mgims.org

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