how do you convince a doctor that you can't work?

[Guest guest]

If you remember, a few weeks ago I got very upset because my rheumy,

who I had been seeing for over a year, waffled about filling out

disability forms for me. He said since I " sit behind a desk and

think, " why couldn't I work, etc. He also said that he thought I

could work part-time.

Now I've started with a new rheumy and I really think I'm going to

like him, but, as I expected, he thinks it's " premature " to discuss

disability. He diagnosed me with RA (which I knew) AND Fibro, and

he thinks that accounts for some of my fatigue. (I don't really

have muscle pain, but I noticed a while ago that have all the other

symptoms -- tender points, fatigue, poor sleep, irritable bowel,

etc. At least now I have an excuse when I'm stupid!!) He put me on

Humira and increased my methotrexate, and is hoping that I'll get

better.

I hope that I'll get better too, but I still don't see how I can

continue to work. It was a struggle even before -- I'm a single

mother with 3 fairly young kids, NO other family, kids' dad lives

out of state and plays daddy when and if he feels like it. I work

as a lawyer, which is stressful. But it all worked out somehow

before I got sick. Now there are piles of stuff everywhere, we're

living on convenience foods and cereal, and my kids basically have

no parents -- they get fed and housed, but I have no idea what's

going on in school, etc. because I just don't have the energy. I

come home at night, make sure they eat something, and get into bed

and issue orders from there (which are usually ignored).

Something has to give. I've considered everything -- stop working

and live off savings and credit cards for awhile (I'm fortunate in

that I could do that for about a year, but then I'd have nothing),

send the kids out of state to dad (it would kill me, and I'm not

sure if he would even do it, but at least they would have ONE

parent), sell the house and go on welfare and food stamps. These

are all options, but I shouldn't HAVE to do this, I HAVE disability

insurance, and I even have doctors who admit that I'm sick.

Why don't they get it? Why don't they understand that I can't eat

properly, exercise or get enough rest, and that's making me sicker?

(I WANT to eat better, I crave salmon and green beans and salads,

but I eat bags of cookies because I have no strength to cook.) Why

don't they understand that stress and exhaustion makes me feel ten

times worse? (When I have a few days off I feel like a new

person.) How do I convince them?