- it's such a struggle

[Guest guest]

Dear

I will be praying for you and your dear mum as she battles with this terrible

monster. I know how deeply this hurts.

I had occasional 'backlash' from my dad and it stung so hard I could have walked

away for good. I remember he turned on me one day and told me I made him look

like ' and arse hole' (sorry, no offence intended but I quote his exact words).

I felt the hot tears flood my eyes and I swallowed hard .... I felt it so bad!!

I am only beginning to realise what torture it was for my mum. She kept so much

hidden from us. I can now reflect on memories and flashbacks and I can piece

together the whole

catastrophe. It sounds terribly dramatic but I feel I lost both my parents to

LBD. My mum took her own life Nov 2000. She just couldn't cope any more and I am

convinced that my dad's unreasonable mood swings and wild fluctuations in

behaviour contributed to her feelings of total hopelessness. All she would ever

say to us was " It's your dad, nobody knows what it's like, you never know how

he's going to react "

He was ALWAYS so organised and in control when I was growing up. He was 100%

dependable, clear thinking and capable. He was in charge and we all danced to

his tune! Then slowly he started getting forgetful and muddled, anxious and

hesitant. As this increased so did his unreasonableness and aggression. He was

difficult to handle - unpredictable and demanding AND WHO DID HE TAKE IT OUT ON?

Yep, my mum!

My dad was 67 when he died. No age is it?

This aspect of the disease is extremely hard to live with. I wish I had advice

for you. My mum suffered because she bottled it all up and tried to hide it. The

best way forward is to make sure your mum talks it out and gets support in her

community.

I'm thinking of you

Be kind to yourselves

Sally xxx