Re: how do you convince a doctor that you can't work?

December 24, 2005

I am sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. I don't know what the

answer is to convience them you are too sick to work.

I do have some suggestions about food. I am sure there are places

there that can do prepared meals for you. Since you work full-time

with small children..do they have nanny? Maybe a house keeper..nanny

can help out if that is financially a possibility.

Do you have some flexibility in your work schedule. If so start

using it.

I think the docs are looking at your earning potential and " status "

being a lawyer and think you can do this....but maybe this is not the

job for you right now. Can you take a leave of absence with pay?

Just throwing out some ideas. I hope they help.

Merry Christmas

Toni

--- In , " eemalawyer " <eemalawyer@y...>

wrote:

>

> If you remember, a few weeks ago I got very upset because my

rheumy,

> who I had been seeing for over a year, waffled about filling out

> disability forms for me. He said since I " sit behind a desk and

> think, " why couldn't I work, etc. He also said that he thought I

> could work part-time.

>

> Now I've started with a new rheumy and I really think I'm going to

> like him, but, as I expected, he thinks it's " premature " to discuss

> disability. He diagnosed me with RA (which I knew) AND Fibro, and

> he thinks that accounts for some of my fatigue. (I don't really

> have muscle pain, but I noticed a while ago that have all the other

> symptoms -- tender points, fatigue, poor sleep, irritable bowel,

> etc. At least now I have an excuse when I'm stupid!!) He put me

on

> Humira and increased my methotrexate, and is hoping that I'll get

> better.

>

> I hope that I'll get better too, but I still don't see how I can

> continue to work. It was a struggle even before -- I'm a single

> mother with 3 fairly young kids, NO other family, kids' dad lives

> out of state and plays daddy when and if he feels like it. I work

> as a lawyer, which is stressful. But it all worked out somehow

> before I got sick. Now there are piles of stuff everywhere, we're

> living on convenience foods and cereal, and my kids basically have

> no parents -- they get fed and housed, but I have no idea what's

> going on in school, etc. because I just don't have the energy. I

> come home at night, make sure they eat something, and get into bed

> and issue orders from there (which are usually ignored).

>

> Something has to give. I've considered everything -- stop working

> and live off savings and credit cards for awhile (I'm fortunate in

> that I could do that for about a year, but then I'd have nothing),

> send the kids out of state to dad (it would kill me, and I'm not

> sure if he would even do it, but at least they would have ONE

> parent), sell the house and go on welfare and food stamps. These

> are all options, but I shouldn't HAVE to do this, I HAVE disability

> insurance, and I even have doctors who admit that I'm sick.

>

> Why don't they get it? Why don't they understand that I can't eat

> properly, exercise or get enough rest, and that's making me

sicker?

> (I WANT to eat better, I crave salmon and green beans and salads,

> but I eat bags of cookies because I have no strength to cook.) Why

> don't they understand that stress and exhaustion makes me feel ten

> times worse? (When I have a few days off I feel like a new

> person.) How do I convince them?

>

December 25, 2005

> >

> > If you remember, a few weeks ago I got very upset because my

> rheumy,

> > who I had been seeing for over a year, waffled about filling out

> > disability forms for me. He said since I " sit behind a desk and

> > think, " why couldn't I work, etc. He also said that he thought I

> > could work part-time.

> >

> > Now I've started with a new rheumy and I really think I'm going to

> > like him, but, as I expected, he thinks it's " premature " to discuss

> > disability. He diagnosed me with RA (which I knew) AND Fibro, and

> > he thinks that accounts for some of my fatigue. (I don't really

> > have muscle pain, but I noticed a while ago that have all the other

> > symptoms -- tender points, fatigue, poor sleep, irritable bowel,

> > etc. At least now I have an excuse when I'm stupid!!) He put me

> on

> > Humira and increased my methotrexate, and is hoping that I'll get

> > better.

> >

> > I hope that I'll get better too, but I still don't see how I can

> > continue to work. It was a struggle even before -- I'm a single

> > mother with 3 fairly young kids, NO other family, kids' dad lives

> > out of state and plays daddy when and if he feels like it. I work

> > as a lawyer, which is stressful. But it all worked out somehow

> > before I got sick. Now there are piles of stuff everywhere, we're

> > living on convenience foods and cereal, and my kids basically have

> > no parents -- they get fed and housed, but I have no idea what's

> > going on in school, etc. because I just don't have the energy. I

> > come home at night, make sure they eat something, and get into bed

> > and issue orders from there (which are usually ignored).

> >

> > Something has to give. I've considered everything -- stop working

> > and live off savings and credit cards for awhile (I'm fortunate in

> > that I could do that for about a year, but then I'd have nothing),

> > send the kids out of state to dad (it would kill me, and I'm not

> > sure if he would even do it, but at least they would have ONE

> > parent), sell the house and go on welfare and food stamps. These

> > are all options, but I shouldn't HAVE to do this, I HAVE disability

> > insurance, and I even have doctors who admit that I'm sick.

> >

> > Why don't they get it? Why don't they understand that I can't eat

> > properly, exercise or get enough rest, and that's making me

> sicker?

> > (I WANT to eat better, I crave salmon and green beans and salads,

> > but I eat bags of cookies because I have no strength to cook.) Why

> > don't they understand that stress and exhaustion makes me feel ten

> > times worse? (When I have a few days off I feel like a new

> > person.) How do I convince them?

> >

>

December 25, 2005

Could you try asking for short-term disability so you can gain the

time and energy to explore ways to build some needed supports into

your life? The Big Brothers/Big Sisters program is one idea; a mentor

spends time nearly every week with the child, doing fun things and

making the child feel special. You could get a " Big " for each one of

your kids if you wanted to...

There's lots of stuff out there, but it takes time and energy to find

it and set it up.

Hang in there.

Sierra