more to my update

[Guest guest]

I wrote this to a very select few people in my life who keep thinking my iblings

will step up to the plate.....

My mom continues to sit unsupervised and sometimes unfed at her house. My

siblings DID not step up to the plate, did not rise tomeet the challenge.

In spite of me saying outright the end of last week (before the stuff with Ray

and Jimmy happened) that I could not watch mom this past Thursday becuz it was

Krystals birthday- Krystal got not one single card, phone call or email.nothing-

altho a friend of mine did spend some nice time with her and tape ER for me and

even dropped it off here Sat nite.

In spite of me telling my mother my cell phone worked at the hospital where me

and Bek and Jimmy were, my family did not call.....nor did they email me AT

ALL.not one word, not about moms need for caregiving or Rays hospitalization or

Jimmys surgery. Nor Krystals birthday.

Our Marine Corps League had been notified of Rays hospitalization. I had been

President of our AUxilliary for the last 2-3 years...(I also earned our unit a

yearly state level volunteerism award for volunteer hours I clocked in) Our MCL

DOES go visit sick veterans, even if they are not members of our unit..and they

also go help veteran ffamilies often.....

I HAD notified our unit of what had been going on at our house, with our

family...BUT I heard NOT ONE WORD from any of them at all.....BUT something

extremely odd DID happen. Our state level President said he was seeking an

address in our town and Sat he stopped over at our house ------to ask us if he

could...borrow our phone book? First off, I have no idea why he would come to

our house- he has NEVER been here...he is not social with us......BUT the VA

office is in our town.and they do have a phone book. They KNOW Ray is so

severely disabled, and they know 2 of our kids are and they alsoknow my RA and

Lupus, have seen me do volunteer work using my scooter or walker....... well, he

came and saw the state of our yard and house and comented to Ray wow, looks like

your kids have LOTS of work to do. <sigh> (YES our house and yard are in

desperate need of attention.......it is serious.....but hey many times our unit

has said they were looking for veterans homes to go and do volunteer work

at..and I have said well my family could use a hand....they always LOL at us and

never take us serious.no no, they want disabled veterans. I always comment back

how much more disabled do you wwant than 100% service connected?) SO I am sad to

say I have some huge disappointment to deal with....some heavy sadness and

bitterness. Bekky and I felt pretty orphaned and I am sure Ray might have while

he was here home alone, too..... Right at the moment my heart is screaming at me

to coccon me and my husband and my kids into our house and just be us 5 together

quietly.....all by ourself......

I am very sad and feel so let down by my siblings I just cannot ummmm

uh......understand..theres mom all alone, wonder what they thought about WHY I

had been there 24-7 for the previous 5 weeks? Wonder who they thought had an eye

on Krystal and then also Ray.....and what they thought it might feel like to be

Krystal with noone around at all not even mom or dad or sis and bro for her

birthday........or me and Bekky and Jimmy way out sofar from home and so very

very very scared? My blood family and our Marine Brotherhood can all go kiss my

ass. I was SO stretched past my limis unbelieveably the last week or more and

they were SO useless. and I find it extremely callus hard cold and disgusting.

I actually bawled my eyes out when the security guard came and hugged me when he

saw me pacing 2 nites in a row in the wee hours alone. The transportation aide

took mercy and scrounged us up something to drink.........