- it must be tough!

[Guest guest]

Dear

From reading your posts it sounds like you are in serious need of some support!

You can not possibly handle all this on your own.

Have you sat your siblings down and told them exactly what this monster of a

disease might do to your mum? Have they grasped the enormity of the situation?

They can't possibly expect you to carry all this?

You are undoubtedly a most devoted, caring son and I have nothing but admiration

for the way you are bending over backwards to care for your mum - but you

deserve a life too! You should have your fair share of 'lurve' and attention!

If your mum is so desperately opposed to NH care then is it financially

prohibitive to buy care in house? It costs the earth here in the UK but

it might release you to get away and spend time with your girlfriend or just

'chill' having a 'normal' life. I really do feel for you - I know that I had to

do all the caring for my dad and it was a nightmare. I had to fall back on the

support of my husband and my kids from time to time. It hurt me beyond

description to walk away and leave my dad in the hospital. I thought my heart

would burst with anguish and guilt but I had to do it to save my own health and

sanity. You can only sustain this level of support for so long - then the

tiredness takes hold and boy is that a killer!!!??!

Has your mum got an old trustworthy friend, one whom she has confided in and

relied on in years past who might be able to talk with her? Sometimes it's

better not coming from 'us' the children. We say all the right words but our

parents read our faces like open books!

I wish I could offer you more help!

I get so frustrated - this damn computer is all I have! If only we could be

physically closer then we would be there in person to do what we could!

You sound like a terrific 40 something ! I'm 45 this year so you're in

good company!

I hereby give you permission to do something totally selfish today.

Enjoy

Sally x