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In a message dated 3/24/2003 11:27:57 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jancea@... writes:

> My marriage of 39 years

> was spontaneous, light and happy most of the time. Now our daily

> lives are guarded...wrong word...polite...no...let's see...it's just

> not as silly and funny as it was. After all my father is here. I am

> crying right now...I had never written it down before. I miss what

> we had...I really want it back. It is hard to reserve those silly fun

> moments to the times when you are alone in the only room you really

> feel alone in.

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Hi Jan -- are you embarrassed or are you afraid things you say or do will

embarrass your Father? You shouldn't be worrying about either of those

things -- there's not enough time for that. You two are married -- so act

like it. Be silly when you want to be, be spontaneous, light and happy.

There are just too many things in this world that can weigh us down. If you

continue to miss the things you had " before Father " then you may begin to

resent the world you live in now -- you may not even be aware of it

happening. Not good for you, your partner, or your LO.

Jan, I certainly don't know everything but I'm very certain of this.

You take care of yourself.

Joni

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Joni wrote: <You two are married -- so act like it. Be silly when

you want to be, be spontaneous, light and happy. ...If you continue

to miss the things you had " before Father " then you may begin to

resent the world you live in now.>

Joni you're right, you're right, you're right. There is a dynamic at

work in our home (or my brain) which is difficult to explain. I don't

know if it's my history with my disapproving father or just having a

third party in the house. I need to remember the promise I made to

myself when we decided to bring Daddy home....our marriage comes

first!

Thank you for reminding me what I need to do.

Hugs...

Jan

Sacramento CA

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Joni wrote: <You two are married -- so act like it. Be silly when

you want to be, be spontaneous, light and happy. ...If you continue

to miss the things you had " before Father " then you may begin to

resent the world you live in now.>

Joni you're right, you're right, you're right. There is a dynamic at

work in our home (or my brain) which is difficult to explain. I don't

know if it's my history with my disapproving father or just having a

third party in the house. I need to remember the promise I made to

myself when we decided to bring Daddy home....our marriage comes

first!

Thank you for reminding me what I need to do.

Hugs...

Jan

Sacramento CA

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In a message dated 3/24/2003 10:14:57 PM Pacific Standard Time,

jancea@... writes:

> Thank you for reminding me what I need to do.

>

> Hugs...

>

> Jan

> Sacramento CA

>

Good girl ...... I'll remind you from time to time (as will " the group " --

right group!?) or I'll kick your butt!

jr

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In a message dated 3/24/2003 10:20:36 PM Pacific Standard Time,

jancea@... writes:

> Oops...ditto ditto...I always wondered how people were duplicating

> their messages. I still don't know...but it happened. Am I in a

> special club now?

>

> Jan

Oh yeah -- a very " select " club. I don't know how it's done either. It's

happened to someone else in our group (besides me) although at 5 I think I'm

still the ditto champ!!

Joni

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