Update

[Guest guest]

I'm new to this group. What is nada? fada? I survived a borderline

hermit/witch/queen mother and narcissistic/borderline father. I also have a

sister who is classic witch borderline and has two kids. I am so glad to

find this, as I am finally permanently separated from my foo, since I

reported my sister to child protective services for assault. They were my

whole life, and its like I don't exist without them. I am so afraid to have

a life, for fear of triggering more abuse. Each time I've grown, in AA

recovery, or in my self esteem, or in any way that was towards the light,

I've had to deal with power plays and emotional abuse and all kinds of

craziness designed to put me back under their control. Its like I just got

out of prison and have no idea how to be free, and in some ways, want to go

back to prison. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone here.

[Guest guest]

Tiara,

Welcome to the group! Everyone here will understand

what you mean about the fear. Try to think of it the

way the bright light of day hurts your eyes when you

have been in dark to long. But after you adjust to

the light, you get to see all the beauty the day

holds! There is a life out there for you, and it

doesn't have to include your family. It is a hard

process (I am estranged from my nada (mother) for 5

years, and the whole family for 3) I just posted a

couple of days ago about how it still makes me cry

that they have shunned me, but my life is sooooooo

much better without them.

As far as the lingo on the board I am sure someone

will post the acronym list for you, as I don't have

it. Nada is the term most of us use for mother, since

in our opinions they didn't earn the title of mother.

Fada is the father version. FOO is family of origin

(your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins

etc...) and there are a ton more.

And by the way, congrats to you for have the courage

to report your sister! If your family is anything

like the prototype on this board that action had a lot

of consequences for you. Good for you for standing up

to her!

--- tiaraflower@... wrote:

> I'm new to this group. What is nada? fada? I

> survived a borderline

> hermit/witch/queen mother and

> narcissistic/borderline father. I also have a

> sister who is classic witch borderline and has two

> kids. I am so glad to

> find this, as I am finally permanently separated

> from my foo, since I

> reported my sister to child protective services for

> assault. They were my

> whole life, and its like I don't exist without them.

> I am so afraid to have

> a life, for fear of triggering more abuse. Each

> time I've grown, in AA

> recovery, or in my self esteem, or in any way that

> was towards the light,

> I've had to deal with power plays and emotional

> abuse and all kinds of

> craziness designed to put me back under their

> control. Its like I just got

> out of prison and have no idea how to be free, and

> in some ways, want to go

> back to prison. I don't know if this makes sense to

> anyone here.

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Ahhhh makes so much sense. We are so use to being controlled, and being in the

chaotic world that we don't know how to act with being in control of ourselves

and peace. It takes time, some people here I can tell by reading their posts

that they have made it over the fence. I am still climbing....I think I am

sitting at the top and about ready to jump over to the other side never to

return to that old pasture. It's that old fear they have instilled that stops

us!!!

I survived a borderline/witch/queen/ narcissistic/histrionic mother and so many

men with many different issues!! LOL I am just beginning to come out in this

group. I mostly sit and read, but wish you luck and peace in your break from

THEM!! You and yours will be able to live without their influences!!

Welcome to this group...I found it only 2 short weeks ago. You will find you

can relate to almost everyone here. There is a list of the meanings of

abbreviations at post # 8480 put out by Edith. Jutza

tiaraflower@... wrote: I'm new to this group. What is nada? fada? I

survived a borderline

hermit/witch/queen mother and narcissistic/borderline father. I also have a

sister who is classic witch borderline and has two kids. I am so glad to

find this, as I am finally permanently separated from my foo, since I

reported my sister to child protective services for assault. They were my

whole life, and its like I don't exist without them. I am so afraid to have

a life, for fear of triggering more abuse. Each time I've grown, in AA

recovery, or in my self esteem, or in any way that was towards the light,

I've had to deal with power plays and emotional abuse and all kinds of

craziness designed to put me back under their control. Its like I just got

out of prison and have no idea how to be free, and in some ways, want to go

back to prison. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone here.

[Guest guest]

Welcome aboard, TiaraFlower! You're totally safe here. We're very

supportive of one another - nothing is ever too awful or too weird to

mention! So, pull up a chair, let your hair down, and just be your

wonderful SELF.

Smiles!

Carol

tiaraflower@... wrote:

>

> I'm new to this group. What is nada? fada? I survived a borderline

> hermit/witch/queen mother and narcissistic/borderline father. I also have a

> sister who is classic witch borderline and has two kids. I am so glad to

> find this, as I am finally permanently separated from my foo, since I

> reported my sister to child protective services for assault. They were my

> whole life, and its like I don't exist without them. I am so afraid to have

> a life, for fear of triggering more abuse. Each time I've grown, in AA

> recovery, or in my self esteem, or in any way that was towards the light,

> I've had to deal with power plays and emotional abuse and all kinds of

> craziness designed to put me back under their control. Its like I just got

> out of prison and have no idea how to be free, and in some ways, want to go

> back to prison. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone here.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/27/02 11:46:11 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

oikocryst@... writes:

> , but

> I'm concentrating on the belief that I am intelligent,

> talented, and educated enough to find a better job.

Hope,

Yes you are!!!!!!!! And don't let anyone tell you anything

different...Carol will surely send the nada-catchers out to stop her from

whispering any uglies your way!!!!

Warm wishes and thoughts of great new opportunities coming your way!

Debbie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/27/02 12:14:03 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

tiaraflower@... writes:

> . Its like I just got

> out of prison and have no idea how to be free, and in some ways, want to go

>

> back to prison. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone here.

Hey there little flower! That sounds about right to me....stick with us, we

are going places! You have to learn a whole new reality! Good luck.

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Yup! I've got the nada catchers circlin' the premises! First slip and

swoooosh........ in the net she goes!

Smiles!

Carol

sweepea1215@... wrote:

>

> In a message dated 5/27/02 11:46:11 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

> oikocryst@... writes:

>

> > , but

> > I'm concentrating on the belief that I am intelligent,

> > talented, and educated enough to find a better job.

>

> Hope,

>

> Yes you are!!!!!!!! And don't let anyone tell you anything

> different...Carol will surely send the nada-catchers out to stop her from

> whispering any uglies your way!!!!

>

> Warm wishes and thoughts of great new opportunities coming your way!

>

> Debbie

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Debbie, for supporting me believing in myself

:-)

Carol, I need the small version of the Nada-net, please:

she's in my head, send over the tiny nada-catchers that

crawl in through the ear and scoop her out!!

Susie, Thank you for your comments on 'interviewing'

therapists. And your flying saucer story had me cracking up

- Good for you!!! I berate myself over how I tend to act as

a doormat in that sort of situation...

Okay. I just got out of my first session with this

therapist. I feel good. I managed to express myself. She

talked to me - my worst case scenario, in my head, was that

she'd try to be that 'blank page'. Instead, she clearly

said she's going to be a human. We had a conversation, it

wasn't just a monologue. Phew. I'm glad I finally met her.

She brought up the subject of how working for the airline

is a way for me not to commit to things in my life. That is

totally true, it's a reason why I worked there for 2.5

years, and it's one main reason I don't especially want to

go back. She talked about one of my goals in therapy could

be to get to a point where I don't feel like I have no

other choice than to work there again. I'm so glad she

understood that!!

Also, she recommended we start by meeting twice a week. Boy

what a lot of money that would cost. But maybe in the long

run, not so much money? She's not making twice-weekly

visits a condition for her seeing me. Any thoughts on this?

I think I have the pros and cons figured out (they're

pretty much financial, not really deeper than that, right?

but I'd appreciate you feedback).

Another thing she said was how we'd be talking about what

it means that she is not the only 'therapist' I'm going to:

two of these lists, and reflexology. She's not judgemental,

just said it's significant.

Oh and I told her about two-thousand times how my worst

fear before meeting her was she'd try to put an emphasis on

my being empathetic to Nada. She heard me clearly. Phew.

Okay, going back home to my dog now.

Thanks for being here, guys.

Hope

--- sweepea1215@... wrote:

> In a message dated 5/27/02 11:46:11 AM Eastern Daylight

> Time,

> oikocryst@... writes:

>

>

> > , but

> > I'm concentrating on the belief that I am intelligent,

> > talented, and educated enough to find a better job.

>

>

> Hope,

>

> Yes you are!!!!!!!! And don't let anyone tell you

> anything

> different...Carol will surely send the nada-catchers out

> to stop her from

> whispering any uglies your way!!!!

>

> Warm wishes and thoughts of great new opportunities

> coming your way!

>

> Debbie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/28/02 6:13:24 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

oikocryst@... writes:

> Okay, going back home to my dog now.

>

Dogs are the best...absolutely the empitome of ANTI-NADA! So adoring, so

friendly, so selfless.

You are on right track Hope, and I totally got what you meant about the

therapist. I started last week and was sure she would tell me what a bitch I

was being to my mom...she did not, thankfully! She was sympathetic and

honest! I wasn;t sure those things existed in women in authority.

Heres to making some progress...and tell the therapist to bill nada!

Giggles,

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Since you asked :-).......... Since finances are a concern... you may want to

go 2x for a few weeks or so, unless you think you can keep the door to what

has gone on and is going on fairly shut during your first sessions.

If the door flies wide open and you have to wait another week you might have

trouble keeping it shut for a week until the next session.

If money were not a concern, I would go for the 2x for as long as I could.

Susie & Co. lexi

In a message dated 5/28/02 3:13:24 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

oikocryst@... writes:

> Also, she recommended we start by meeting twice a week. Boy

> what a lot of money that would cost. But maybe in the long

> run, not so much money? She's not making twice-weekly

> visits a condition for her seeing me. Any thoughts on this?

> I think I have the pros and cons figured out (they're

> pretty much financial, not really deeper than that, right?

> but I'd appreciate you feedback).

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Hope, see my comments inserted below!

--- Hope wrote:

> Thank you, Debbie, for supporting me believing in myself

> :-)

>

> Carol, I need the small version of the Nada-net, please:

> she's in my head, send over the tiny nada-catchers that

> crawl in through the ear and scoop her out!!

Oooh ... What a visual!

> Susie, Thank you for your comments on 'interviewing'

> therapists. And your flying saucer story had me cracking up

> - Good for you!!! I berate myself over how I tend to act as

> a doormat in that sort of situation...

Woulda, coulda, shoulda! I have to battle those thoughts too.

> Okay. I just got out of my first session with this

> therapist. I feel good. I managed to express myself. She

> talked to me - my worst case scenario, in my head, was that

> she'd try to be that 'blank page'. Instead, she clearly

> said she's going to be a human. We had a conversation, it

> wasn't just a monologue. Phew. I'm glad I finally met her.

I'm very glad to hear this. It can be difficult to find a good

therapist that you also " click " with. Everything sounds

promising so far ... yay!

> She brought up the subject of how working for the airline

> is a way for me not to commit to things in my life. That is

> totally true, it's a reason why I worked there for 2.5

> years, and it's one main reason I don't especially want to

> go back. She talked about one of my goals in therapy could

> be to get to a point where I don't feel like I have no

> other choice than to work there again. I'm so glad she

> understood that!!

It sounds like this goes with what you were talking about the

other day, about the airline company being " abusive " . Your T

sounds very encouraging and supportive ... I hope you're able to

work through this issue.

> Also, she recommended we start by meeting twice a week. Boy

> what a lot of money that would cost. But maybe in the long

> run, not so much money? She's not making twice-weekly

> visits a condition for her seeing me. Any thoughts on this?

> I think I have the pros and cons figured out (they're

> pretty much financial, not really deeper than that, right?

> but I'd appreciate you feedback).

I can't see any cons other than the financial aspect. Try it

one way (either once or twice a week) and see what you think.

If you're going twice a week, and can't seem to think of enough

stuff to talk about, then scale it back. If you're going once a

week, and talk nonstop the whole time and are really wish you

had more time, then up it to twice a week (if funds are

available).

> Another thing she said was how we'd be talking about what

> it means that she is not the only 'therapist' I'm going to:

> two of these lists, and reflexology. She's not judgemental,

> just said it's significant.

She sounds very thorough. And I'm glad she wasn't judging you

.... it sounds like she's not threatened by the fact that you are

seeking support and validation from multiple sources.

> Oh and I told her about two-thousand times how my worst

> fear before meeting her was she'd try to put an emphasis on

> my being empathetic to Nada. She heard me clearly. Phew.

Hurray! Doesn't it feel great to be heard and validated?

> Okay, going back home to my dog now.

>

> Thanks for being here, guys.

>

> Hope

I'm glad to hear this is working out, Hope. Best of luck.

Anon

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Here they are, Hope! A set of " nada catcher " earings. They're very

attractive, kind of like " dream catchers " , but earing size. Guaranteed

to catch nadas every time! Enjoy!

Smiles!

Carol

Hope wrote:

> Carol, I need the small version of the Nada-net, please:

> she's in my head, send over the tiny nada-catchers that

> crawl in through the ear and scoop her out!!

[Guest guest]

Thre is no doubt in my mind that as the disease progresses one

must revisit some decissions that we made early on. It is

indeed a one day at a time, one downturn at a time, progression

decline decission are tough. I do think the sharing is so important

to all of us. Thanks for the revisit. Joanne in Oregon

[Guest guest]

Well my dad seems to be adjusting somewhat to the hospice. He tried

to escape today. He was out the door and had his eye on the bank

when they caught him. He is very controlling and manuipulating my

mom like you would not believe. I don't let him to that to me,

therefore he is always mad at me. He is running my mom ragged. He

thinks he is going to get to go home. His legs, feet, and stomach

and other things are very swollen. He thinks he is ok and there is

nothing wrong with him.

They are going to have their hands full. I'm afraid they will kick

him out and then he goes to a nursing home, alzheimers unit.

C.

Adel, Ia

[Guest guest]

, you poor thing! I like peanut butter & jelly sandwiches too, and

eat some pasta. But, no fruit and vegetables except twice a year!? Gee, I

guess I do eat healthier than that, not much, ...but some! You truly made my

day. I thought I had the very worst eating habits of anyone, and now I can see

I greatly need to make changes and improvements, but I've eaten better than I

thought I was. Thanks for making me feel better! I needed that today.

I know that eating brocoli and cauliflower is good to help prevent cancer

-- so you might definitely try to get some of that in you regularly.

Don't feel too bad. I'm the worst coca-cola-holic that there's ever been!!

And, chocolate, sugar, and bread and doughy things like cake, bread, donuts,

brownies, are my weaknesses. Oh, and I love potatoes and many of the things

that I grew up thinking were vegetables, but which are more in the starches

group, than in the vegetables one. Just keep taking a day at a time, and a week

at a time, ....do your best, ...learn from your mistakes, ....but don't beat

yourself up over them. Instead, love and forgive yourself, and then get right

back on the healthy eating.

I'm turning 49 next year, and am very obese -- morbidly obese (in fact).

And, with my rheumatoid arthritis and my fibromyalgia, and migraines, and sinus

infections, ...I'm sick, or miserable so much of the time. So to any of you who

aren't where I am yet: PLEASE take good care of your bodies, eat right,

exercise regularly, drink that water, and take care of yourselves!! It would be

so much easier to make healthy changes BEFORE you've let yourself get in such

bad shape as me. And believe me, ...one of these days all the bad health habits

will catch up with you!

Life is to be lived, and to be enjoyed -- not just to endure. Don't wait

until it's too late to make changes that could help you enjoy your life more!!

We just never know how long we have here, and it is better to " seize the day "

and be healthy and successful than to be laid up in bed, and not be able to move

much physically!

Please don't think that I'm picking on , or on anyone else in

particular. If anything, I'm picking on myself, and this talk (email) is

written for MY behalf!! I'm learning the hard way the price I've paid for

inactivity and poor eating habits. And, it just isn't worth it! Enough

preaching for one day.

, keep hanging in there, guy. Hope you feel much better soon since

you've revised your diet. I'll send you prayers, too. Hugs, PJ

wrote:

Thank you PJ for your kind words.

I did enjoy my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and pasta everyday.

That was my mistake. That's all I ate. I went 3 1/2 years skipping the

fruits and vegetables. The only time I would have any vegetables at all

was when I went to parents house twice a year.

I was doing well until I tried to bring back some sugar last week(bread

and Cheerios is all I tried). I went right back to sleepless nights. I'm

now off all sugar again except for natural sugar(fruits, vegetables,

fresh meat) which is all I can tolerate. I'm doing better again. I won't

try that again for several months.

The author of the food allergy book I told you about stated that a

person should wait a minimum of three months before trying to bring the

allergic food back...in small amounts...and hopefully it will work.

Sometimes, a person can never bring the food back they were allergic

to.

I hope you get it figured out what was troubling your dog.

Thanks for writing PJ. I do appreciate it.

You have a great week also.

Hugs

Re: Update

Dear ,

So great to hear from you again! You've been on my mind and I was

wondering how you were recovering from all of those surgeries!! Glad to

hear that you are doing better!!

Okay -- got some questions. How did you finally figure out it was

an allergy to sugar? Your symptoms and mine have been very similar.

And, my eating habits are pretty atrocious! I don't care for fruit and

veggies, so don't eat them much. I do tend to crave bread, cake, pasta,

potatoes, rice, and all sweets. I'm kinda thinking that maybe I need to

check into this also. Is there a book that you recommend? Or do you

have any more info on what you are doing, and how that has changed from

what you were doing? Any more info you can supply, would be greatly

appreciated!! You are welcome to write to me directly at:

mollyann365@... if you want, instead of to the group if it is

personal.

I'm kinda thinking that your " feeling " that you needed to share

this info today, was to help me! I've been pretty miserable lately with

my rheumatoid arthritis, my sinuses, allergies, migraines, fibromyalgia,

and fatigue. I've been " thinking " lately that it was time to make some

major changes in my life as far as nutrition and exercise goes. Guess

your message confirmed that for me! Thanks so much for sharing your

info, and for letting us know how you are doing. Good to hear from you

-- Have a great week! Hugs, PJ

wrote:

Hi everyone.

I know it's been a " long time " since I've wrote. As most of you know, I

have suffered severe health problems over the last 3 1/2 years. I now

have an answer and am slowly recovering.

I've had a sugar allergy for a long time and didn't even know it until

recently. I'm now eating nothing but meats, eggs, cheese, vegetables and

fresh fruit. My choices of food are severely limited, but it's all well

worth it.

The allergy was clogging my sinuses for a long time, and that is why

after three operations in three years on my sinuses, my symptoms always

returned.

According to research I've done recently and based on my eating habits

the last few years, I believe what triggered this allergy was severe

lack of fruits and vegetables during the last 3 years. The last several

years, 98% of what I ate was pasta. I " never " bought vegetables and

seldom bought fruit. I always took vitamins thinking that will replace

the required food my body needs, but I now realize that vitamins does

" not " replace the food your body needs.

When I drove a taxi in Utah form 1988 to 1994, and 1998 to 1999, I ate a

lot of hamburgers on the road. Even prior to that, I always ate a lot of

hamburgers. The hamburgers had vegetables and fruit(tomato) in it. When

I moved to Minnesota in 1999, my wife(now ex) did all of the cooking

which included fruits and vegetables. We got a divorce in 2001. That is

when I started eating almost all pasta and stopped eating fruits and

vegetables. I figured I would just buy vitamins and eat the foods I

like. Now I realize what a major mistake that was.

Some people with food allergies can resume the allergic food after three

to six months of totally sustaining from it. Others cannot not. I can

now only hope that one day I can eat " some " sugar again. Please keep in

mind that I'm not talking about " sweets. " I'm referring to breads,

pastas, milk, most meat, soups, etc. They all have a kind of sugar

ending in " ose " which I cannot have...not even one gram. It will affect

me severely.

My reason for writing today is to get the message across to everyone to

please " eat right " or you will suffer the consequences. Do not rely only

on vitamins. You must eat right also because a healthy body and mind

depends on it. If I can help even one person by writing this and other

articles and books I plan on writing all over, then my message(s) will

be worth it.

Have a great week everyone!

[Guest guest]

I felt tired, puffy and slightly nauseous.leoyellowrose wrote:

Jan,Can you share with us what happened when you started out with too high a dose progesterone? Thanks.> The cortisol and sex hormones will most likely help you tolerate future increases in your thyroid medication. Ozan gets points for this one. > > I would want to start on a lower dose of the progesterone, however, but starting all of the above at the same time is just fine. If you do not react well to that dose of progesterone, don't give up on it all together, just ask for a lower dose. I am one of those who did not react well to progesterone in the beginning. I had to back down to 20 mg once a day. I am now up to 25 mg twice a day.

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