Chronic pain & others

[Guest guest]

, thank you for sharing and venting your feelings on this

topic. I understand how disappointing it is to have your chronic

pain interfer with life as it might have been without your disease

symptoms.

It has been my observation, confirmed by others, that most chronic

pain patients end up retreating from social situations due not only

to their own physical difficulties, but also the reactions of

acquaintances, friends, and relatives, to the patient's pain.

Retreating from social situations where there are people who have

misunderstood your health situation is pretty much normal behavior

for me. Before I was given appropriate and adequate pain relief I

stayed away because I couldn't endure the long periods of standing

or sitting often required by such events.

Even now when I'm at church I don't stand to sing every hymn.

Though many friends and acquaintances at the church where we are

members do know about my difficulties there are always those who

question me about such actions. Our pastor, a dear friend, will

caution members when others want to heap responsibilities upon me

because I am a retired pastor.

At first I was offended by his actions because I believed I should

have been asked and made the decision myself. Now I am beginning

to see the wisdom of his actions and appreciate his " protection. "

It is a problem for me to be present at many meetings requiring my

presence due to the unpredictability of my disease symptoms.

Formerly a very socially gregarious person, I have come to find

comfort in not putting myself in situations where people have

expectations of me that are unrealistic. I love gardening. I love

being at home, though that wasn't always true. I feel like I've

come to a new point in my life where I respect myself enough to say

" No " to requests that I will be unable to fulfill. I've also

achieved the attitude that how another might feel about my

adjustments to my diseases does not affect nor change my decisions.

Ray in Virginia