I never knew there were others

[Guest guest]

I never knew there were other people whose mothers embarrassed them

in front of their friends, hated anyone they got close to, isolated

them from " evil " fathers (Mine turned out to not be so bad. I was

kept from him for 18 years!). I never knew other mothers were

sexually inappropriate. Mine called me a prude, and I've never been

able to tell what a slut or a prude is. We lived in a small town

(still do), and if any of this was going on around me, I had no

clue. I was too busy trying to fit in.

My nada would say accusingly, " You're embarrassed of me! You don't

want me around your friends! " I would try to soothe her by saying

that everyone is embarrassed by their parents, but she told me I was

pathological. She didn't want to be around my friends anyway, except

maybe to attack them, but she's furious at everybody for not making

an effort to be her friend.

I'm 33 now. I've known that my mother is borderline for years now,

she even diagnosed herself, but I never thought about other people

being raised by other BPs--lol. My partner has trouble understanding

the depth of my pain and confusion, and he used to treat me like a

freak. I have really made progress in protecting him from my old

anger in the past year, or it's starting to spend itself after 20

years of rage. His sister is BP too (my diagnosis, made by walking

him through the DSM-IV), and in helping him understand her, we're

learning more about ourselves and our relationship. When I connect

it to his family, he suddenly gets it. His sister has much less self-

awareness than my nada. She still manipulates with attempts and self-

mutilates. My nada has outgrown a lot of that.

These posts are fascinating. I am full of wonder. Thank you to

whoever started this group.

amz