Re: nada dreams

[Guest guest]

" " about my nada that it's " just a strained mother/daughter

relationship " = nothing THAT serious. " " "

This is what kept me in the horrid relationship so long - I believed this

myself! How many people said something to this effect!! Her friends of course

- mine never liked her!

Ilene

[Guest guest]

For a long time, I'd dream about nada even without having

visited her. The dreams have finally begun to fade down. I

don't want to see her until I feel strong enough, I don't

want to start dreaming about her again.

She has become politically active (this is not in the

states) and has been meeting with people from a very

fanatical group, she is very naive and I'm worried one day

they will chop her into tiny pieces and mail them to me.

Nada's voice in my head tells me how awful I am for not

stopping her from going places where she might actually get

chopped into tiny bits.

Anyway she left me a voice message Friday that on Saturday

she was going to be in the city where I live for one of

these meetings with the psychos (she's not joining them,

she's trying to negotiate with them). She broke down crying

and begging on the machine for me to please, please meet

with her before or after the meeting.

I didn't call her back. I don't want to see her in her 'you

ruined my life and left it in a sorry mess' mode.

And again, Nada's voice in my head is telling me how awful

I am for not trying to save her from the sorry mess, and

letting her go meet with the psychos.

I finally got a hold of a copy of SWOE and it is really

helping. But it's just all so awfully sad.

Peace

Hope

--- nevele wrote:

> i ALWAYS dream intensely about my nada right after a

> visit with her.

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[Guest guest]

--- Hope wrote:

> I didn't call her back. I don't want to see her in

> her 'you

> ruined my life and left it in a sorry mess' mode.

That's the Waif. Underneath (and alongside) the waif,

for my nada, also resides the Queen and Witch. It's

the Waif though, that appeals to the heart inside of

me. I think I can still have a heart and honor it by

feeling it. But I think my head must also be strong

and keep in mind that in that Waif also lay the

Queen/Witch... that helps to alleviate any conflict I

feel inside when I do not respond to the Waif's call.

>

> And again, Nada's voice in my head is telling me how

> awful

> I am for not trying to save her from the sorry mess,

> and

> letting her go meet with the psychos.

You're not responsible for her. We are all faced with

choices and all need to face any consequences for

them. It's not your job to protect your nada/Waif from

making poor choices, it was her job to protect you.

And I don't know about you, but anytime I did try to

protect nada from making poor choices she retaliated

by raging against me, saying " I am the mother. "

Meaning, I should not tell her that she is making poor

choices - I am nobody to tell her how to live her

life. She would rather make a fool of herself rather

than listen to reason from one of her kids.

>

> I finally got a hold of a copy of SWOE and it is

> really

> helping. But it's just all so awfully sad.

Yes, it is sad. But we do not need to act on

compassion. Especially if it means hurting ourselves.

We are responsible for protecting ourselves. Acting on

compassion where my nada is concerned, means hurting

myself.

I'd recently been contemplating the idea of getting

back in touch w/nada. Thought I'd come to a place

where it was possible, where I was detached enough

emotionally to handle it. But I see from the dream I

had the other night that I'm not.

I think it's frustrating for us, because underneath

all the pain and conflicts are really good people.

Good sons and daughters who want to be good sons and

daughters. Our nada's make it impossible to be that.

They make it impossible to love them the way we would

like to. It's not our faults.

Cyndie

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[Guest guest]

nevele wrote:

<<

in my dreams she is always there- very loud and clear. sometimes

trying to hug me or kiss me or hold me. in these dreams i PUNCH

her has hard as i can! i scream and yell and push...ususally

with such instensity that i bolt upright in bed!

>>

I have dreams like this too, except she's usually putting me

down in some way. I will retaliate and lash out at her

physically -- I want to hurt her so badly. I'll scream and hit

and punch and kick. I'll tell her exactly what I think of her.

And I'll tell her exactly what I won't tolerate. In the dreams

she doesn't respond, doesn't even react to my physical attacks

-- it's like I'm not even there (and that's what it feels like

in life too -- I don't exist to her except as a part of her). I

sometimes wonder if these are messages from my unconscious

trying to get me to understand that I CAN protect myself from

her, trying to get me to learn that it's okay to do so.

<<

later, i dreamt about that heart. in the dream the chocolates

kept falling through the wired holes. i keep trying to push

them back in, but when i go, another falls out the other side.

so symbolic, don't you think?

>>

VERY symbolic.

Hugs,

Anon

--- nevele wrote:

> i ALWAYS dream intensely about my nada right after a visit

> with her.

> after she sayed with me NINE days (yes, NINE days) at

> christmas, i

> dreamt about her for a solid month after she left.

>

> my dreams are always VERY LITERAL with her. and they have

> been for

> years. in my dreams she is always there- very loud and clear.

>

> sometimes trying to hug me or kiss me or hold me. in these

> dreams i

> PUNCH her has hard as i can! i scream and yell and

> push...ususally

> with such instensity that i bolt upright in bed!

>

> one dream i had a few weeks ago regarding a real life

> situation...to

> preface, my inlaws bought my nada a christmas gift this past

> christmas. it was just a small token of affection since they

> had

> never met her and she INVITED HERSELF to spend christmas at

> their

> home. they are kind, loving wonderful people and would have

> NEVER

> said " no " . they also thought, like many people do, that when

> i talk

> about my nada that it's " just a strained mother/daughter

> relationship " = nothing THAT serious.

>

> anyway, she had a total " freak out " episode at their house

> that

> resulted in her stomping out of the house and driving away

> during

> christmas dinner. nada was in another room, while my nada was

>

> setting the table. i called into the room and offered her a

> coke to

> drink. this, for some reason, set her off! she stomped out

> of the

> house, without a word and left. i, of course, worried about

> her all

> day- thinking about her spending christmas alone...where she

> was...what i did that was so terrible. my poor in-laws were

> beside

> themselves trying to justify or somehow excuse her behaivor-

> " maybe

> she went out to buy batteries for the kids presents! "

> anyway,

> needless to say, she did not return with any batteries!! LOL

> (as it

> turns out she got mad, because (and i quote):

>

> " I DID NOT WANT A COKE, I WAS HUNGRY AND WANTED TO EAT AND

> APPARENTLY

> YOU WEREN'T GOING TO INVITE ME INTO THE DINING ROOM FOR

> DINNER. "

>

> and my inlaws never got to give her the present they bought

> for

> her...which was this gold-wired see-thru heart stuffed with

> gormet

> choclates. so they gave it me to give to her when i got home.

>

> later, i dreamt about that heart. in the dream the chocolates

> kept

> falling through the wired holes. i keep trying to push them

> back in,

> but when i go, another falls out the other side.

>

> so symbolic, don't you think?

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

A recurring dream I've had for years - is that I'm running and hiding in the

dark. I know that someone or something is behind me and going to get me if

they catch me. No matter where I hide they (a nameless, faceless thing)

finds me and I have to run again and hide. I'd wake up with my heart

pounding. Now I think that was my subconcious telling me I was hiding from

myself.

jules

Re: nada dreams

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[Guest guest]

I dream of tornadoes - bunches of them, dropping out of the sky all

around my house where I huddle with my kids (sometimes my real kids,

sometimes my little sister and brother.)

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I couldn't help but respond to this!

I've had this nightmare that I can remember starting when I was around 4

years old.

I'm walking down a wilderness path, it's a beautiful summer day, the birds

are singing and I have a feeling of great contentment. But the birds go

quiet, the sky goes dark, the path becomes soft and hard to walk on slowly

changing to a clinging mud, and all around me it becomes murky and wisps of

fog everywhere. I'm running as hard as I can, going slower all the time, and

I feel great dread because there is something behind me reaching out to grab

me. I always woke up just before I felt that hand on my shoulder, my heart

jumping in my chest.

At 24 the dream changed and I think this is why. You see, at 21 I had left

the foo and thought myself in love with an abusive man. I felt comfortable

with him, not realizing that he was a continuation of my foo dynamics. I

spent 2 1/2 years with this man and had my daughter for a year when I threw

him out. He thought me beaten, yet there was a part of me, I didn't even

know existed! that stood up and said, " that's it! " I found the strength to

change my life even though I was scared to death, venturing out into new

territory. ( would I make a good pilgrim??)lol

Anyway, I went out on my own, got a job, a place of my own, a car. Worked

two jobs and found I was enjoying myself, by myself. What a novel experience

It was almost a year later when he tried coming around, I chased him off, I

am woman, hear me roar!!!

Shortly after that I had the nightmare. Everything proceeded the same, birds

sky, path, shadows, fear, but this time, I got angry. I wanted to know what

I've been running from! I turned around and saw that it was me!!

I looked at me and saw me smile and a sense of peace and contentment washed

over me, and we hugged each other. I had finally met, myself. I HAD been

running from who I could really be. I realized I needed to be true to myself

and to care about myself. Of course this didn't become clear all at once,

but over time I understood what the dream meant to me. That part of me that

nada couldn't destroy was trying to reach me,... and did. I think I really

understand the line, " I'm my own best friend "

Warm thoughts,

-- Re: nada dreams

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[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: Stafford

A recurring dream I've had for years - is that I'm running and hiding in the

dark. I know that someone or something is behind me and going to get me if

they catch me. No matter where I hide they (a nameless, faceless thing)

finds me and I have to run again and hide. I'd wake up with my heart

pounding.

****I used to always have dreams like this. Always running, always hiding.

But, since leaving my DH and distancing myself from nada I haven't had the dream

in a while. I can't remember when the last time was in fact.

Hania

[Guest guest]

Just reading the posts is bringing back a flood of memories. After my mother

died (I was 10) and we moved in with Grand-nada I used to have two recurring

dreams. One was that I was walking around and around the block and no matter

how fast I walked or ran there were always 6 pawl bears(sp?) carring a coffin

for me to look in. They walked the same pace, and although I would run I could

not get away from them. The second was sort of a theme. I would be in some

sort of danger and all of a sudden I could spread my arms an fly. From there I

would look down on what was happening but it could not get me.

Billie

--- Hania wrote:

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: Stafford

> A recurring dream I've had for years - is that I'm running and hiding in the

> dark. I know that someone or something is behind me and going to get me if

> they catch me. No matter where I hide they (a nameless, faceless thing)

> finds me and I have to run again and hide. I'd wake up with my heart

> pounding.

>

>

> ****I used to always have dreams like this. Always running, always hiding.

> But, since leaving my DH and distancing myself from nada I haven't had the

> dream in a while. I can't remember when the last time was in fact.

> Hania

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> not get away from them. The second was sort of a theme. I would

be in some

> sort of danger and all of a sudden I could spread my arms an fly.

From there I

> would look down on what was happening but it could not get me.

I've had those " flying " dreams, too.

My oldest recurring dream is of being dead, and trying to find my way

back to all the places I've ever lived (and it was bunches!) so that

I could put all the pieces of my broken life back together, I guess.

I wasn't sure in my dream why I had to find all those old homes, but

I knew it was very important and I couldn't move on without doing it.

T.