NEW TO GROUP

February 25, 2001

Peggy

I have Reiter's too. I also have pain everyday. when they pain is at the worse it is hard to focus on anything but yourself and the pain, not selfish just selfproserving.

Joy in Dallas

February 27, 2001

Hi Joy,

I don't have Reiters, not sure what that is, I have

TCS tethered cord syndrome,a nd you are right, it is

hard to concentrate onanyone buy self. Thats what

happens with me too. The pain is 24/7. I don't know

what advice I have, just hang in there and keep in

touch ok?

--- Joy Denault wrote:

> Peggy

> I have Reiter's too. I also have pain everyday.

> when they pain is at the worse it is hard to focus

> on anything but yourself and the pain, not selfish

> just selfproserving.

> Joy in Dallas

>

_______________________________________________________

April 7, 2001

Hi Lois, Do you mind me asking what is Myofascial pain syndrome? I have chronic Sensory polyneuropathy which is a Peripheral Nerve disease which is progressive. For the pain I take 4000mg of Neurontin daily, it is a anti seizure drug when used with Dilantin, but the Neurontin works very well at masking nerve pain..( I don't have seizures) At bedtime I also take 40 mg of Elavil which also works very well for the burning pain of the Sensory nerves, plus it helps me to sleep... I also have Osteoarthritis in my neck, with bulging discs also Osteoarthritis of the lower back..I also takes other meds for Hypothyroid and GERD and Iron therapy for Anemia.. Well welcome to the group,

new to group

My name is Lois or Fibernut on the Internet due to my hobbies. I joined the group as I was recently diagnosed with myofascial pain syndrome,osteo- arthritis of the neck and right knee. In 99 and 2000 I had herniated discs and surgery on my neck. The second surgery I just did not bounce back as easily as the first . There was a 5 month delay due to workers comp needing a second opinion. Was put thru work hardening which only increased my pain. Then after 5 weeks they said I was never in the work hardening program to begin with and sent me back to work 12 hr shifts without any adjustment's. I'm not doing what I have been trained to do as an RN but to any job they had that did not require lifting. So I am still on workers compensation supplementing my job.Have started with a Rheumatologist who seems very good. Has been willing to try different things to increase my comfort level. Was put on Elavil, paxil and celebrex. Taken off of Vioxx due to my blood pressure being elevated. Well that didn't work and am back on the Vioxx with a blood pressure pill. Still have a lot of pain with weather changes and bumpy roads. Probably will not post much as keyboarding ability comes and goes.Thanks for being there! Lois aka Fibernut on # Knitspin Dalnet-----------------------------------------------------Click here for Free Video!!http://www.gohip.com/free_video/Know someone who could profit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL: /subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain or write us at: chronic_pain-listowneregroupsManage your subscription with several special email addresses:chronic_pain-owneregroups - Sends email to the list owners chronic_pain-subscribeegroups - Subscribe to the list through email chronic_pain-unsubscribeegroups - Unsubscribe from the list chronic_pain-normalegroups - Switch your subscription to normal chronic_pain-digestegroups - Switch your subscription to digest

April 7, 2001

At 09:59 PM 4/7/01 -0400, you wrote:

Was put thru work hardening

which only increased my pain.

Lois aka Fibernut on # Knitspin Dalnet

Hi Lois,

Welcome to the group. At one time I was also put into a work hardening

program, thanks to an HMO. I lasted less than a day. My rheumatologist

wanted me in a rehabilitation program, but in its infinite wisdom, the

HMO thought it knew better.

: I also have Sensorimotor Polyneuropathy. It's not one you hear off

often.

Hower

Central Pennsylvania

--- Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes ---

April 8, 2001

Welcome and I hope the pain is manageable.

Kathy

April 8, 2001

do you belong to any of the PN support groups? )

Re: new to group

At 09:59 PM 4/7/01 -0400, you wrote:

Was put thru work hardening which only increased my pain. Lois aka Fibernut on # Knitspin DalnetHi Lois,Welcome to the group. At one time I was also put into a work hardening program, thanks to an HMO. I lasted less than a day. My rheumatologist wanted me in a rehabilitation program, but in its infinite wisdom, the HMO thought it knew better.: I also have Sensorimotor Polyneuropathy. It's not one you hear off often.

HowerCentral Pennsylvania

--- Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes ---Know someone who could profit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL: /subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain or write us at: chronic_pain-listowneregroupsManage your subscription with several special email addresses:chronic_pain-owneregroups - Sends email to the list owners chronic_pain-subscribeegroups - Subscribe to the list through email chronic_pain-unsubscribeegroups - Unsubscribe from the list chronic_pain-normalegroups - Switch your subscription to normal chronic_pain-digestegroups - Switch your subscription to digest

April 9, 2001

No, I wasn't aware of them. Do you have info?

Thanks

At 10:35 AM 4/8/01 -0700, you wrote:

do

you belong to any of the PN support groups? )

----- Original Message -----

Hower

Central Pennsylvania

--- Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes ---

April 9, 2001

if you go to Yahoogroups.com and click on health you then click on disease and letter P you will find about three or four groups on PN.. I am in just one group and it is PNSupportYahoogroups I have been with the group almost 3 years.. It is a friendly group we chat about the PN but it is mostly a support group and we don't dwell on just PN pain, we talk about a lot of other things too. Right now it is kind of quiet and we have quite a few new people that we have not got to know yet.. We have only two men in our group and both of them are called ! LOL I think you have to join Yahoogroups and get a user name and password, then you can join as many groups as you like..I am sure that the two Jacks would be happy if you joined as they are outnumbered by we ladies. ) )

From: Hower

To: chronic_pain

Sent: Monday, April 09, 2001 2:27 AM

Subject: Re: new to group

No, I wasn't aware of them. Do you have info?ThanksAt 10:35 AM 4/8/01 -0700, you wrote:

do you belong to any of the PN support groups? )

----- Original Message -----

HowerCentral Pennsylvania

--- Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes ---Know someone who could profit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL: /subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain or write us at: chronic_pain-listowneregroupsManage your subscription with several special email addresses:chronic_pain-owneregroups - Sends email to the list owners chronic_pain-subscribeegroups - Subscribe to the list through email chronic_pain-unsubscribeegroups - Unsubscribe from the list chronic_pain-normalegroups - Switch your subscription to normal chronic_pain-digestegroups - Switch your subscription to digest

May 19, 2001

This message came to me instead of going to the list.

Ray

new to group

> Hi every one,

> I have been reading your messages for a while, and you all seem like a

> very caring and helpful group....I have atypical facial pain or atypical

> trigeminal neuralgia. Any one else? It started 6 years ago (after an

> injury was injured several times over by a " professional " ). It has

> changed my life radically as you all know chronic pain will do. I am

> particularly having trouble with the inability to make a living. I feel

> unproductive, depressed, and extremely frustrated.(I've been in

> treatment for the depression since the beginning) I'm not ready to give

> up yet, but I am at my wits end! I really have difficulty with the loss

> of independence this has brought on. Thank goodness for my helpful

> family, I imagine I'd be in the streets if it weren't for them. It just

> seems to me there must be something I can do! Pain always gets the best

> of me, I can't even read for more than 15 minutes with out getting a

> migraine. I have found out I'm a pretty good artist however, and I can

> even paint when I'm in bed in pain! ( not as much eye strain), but its

> hard to make a living painting things....... Before I had a booming

> business as a beauty salon owner. After all attempts failed to hold on

> to my buss.I lost it, as well as my car, my home, social life,

> etc.Although I am not college educated, I just feel like if I were more

> productive, I would not feel quite so stuck.Like my future would be more

> hopeful...... This group seems to know a lot about the repercussions of

> having an invisible disability, the sometimes inexcusable behavior of

> doctors, and the never ending medications. I hope you can help me and I

> can help you as well. I've learned a lot about life, empathy, and what's

> really important, since this all started. I realize I may sound somewhat

> negative, but my true objective is to rise above my limitations and make

> he best of what I do have.I'd like to know what others are doing and

> would like some suggestions for anyone who has ideas on creating a new

> career for a chronic pain patient.

> Thanks,

> Lynnzee

>

May 19, 2001

ooops

sorry, I'm not sure how to use this forum. I've been getting ALL of the

messages in my email and can't seem to redirect them to " the list " . Know

there must be a way. can anyone tell me where I should send my messages

to the group? Must have missed something when I joined.

Thanks,

Lynnzee

May 19, 2001

In a message dated 5/19/01 4:54:55 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

kturbin@... writes:

> my true objective is to rise above my limitations and make

> >he best of what I do have.I'd like to know what others are doing and

> >would like some suggestions for anyone who has ideas on creating a new

> >career for a chronic pain patient.>>

Hello Lynnzee and welcome to the group. You are in the right place where

empathy and understanding is concerned. I was in a very deep funk last night

and this morning but I seem to be lifting somewhat. I dont' kid myself that

it won't come back but at least I have a plan of action.

I have a very limited income from Social Security Disability and SSI. I also

draw a small amount each month from my retirement annuity with Blue

Cross/Blue Shield. I have a whopping total cash income of $627.00 a month,

am on medicare and medicaid and food stamps. I have a grant to pay my

utility bills each month. So at least after paying $500.00 each month for my

rent, I can pay my phone and cable TV bills. No, I don't have enough money

left to live out the whole month, obviously. But I have wonderful friends

who help me out pretty often.

I like to be self sufficient and so I am struggling to make use of my other

talents. My job with Blue Cross was as a customer service representative and

I worked fixing problem hospital claims and getting them off suspense

reports. I can't sit in a chair for more than an hour, can't walk farther

than half a block without needing to rest, can't lift anything heavier than

15 pounds or carry it more than 10 feet without being in agony. So what can

I do to earn extra money with such disabilities?

I began to learn how to sew when I was about 10 years old. Both my mother

and my grandmother taught me. It had been a required skill in our family for

many many generations. My grandmother came from an old southern aristocratic

family and ladies didn't do menial housework. So they learned how to sew all

manner of things. I'm really good at it and love to do costuming and copying

original designs by famous clothes designers. So I began to advertise my

services and I can some pretty good money doing weddings, proms, Halloween

costumes, and all manner of SCA " garb. " I can work at my own speed and take

frequent rest breaks. Right now, I'm not making all that much money because

I'm new to the area. But I think that once I become fairly well known thru

advertising and word of mouth, I should be ok.

BTW, how do you know you can't make money selling your paintings? Try

painting esoteric, gothic, spooky, and sci-fi type paintings and get a table

at a sci-fi convention. You just might be surprised. Paint small sized

paintings and don't ask too much for them to begin with. As your reputation

builds, you'll make more money. You must have some kind of talent you can

use so USE it!!

Good luck!

Joyce

May 19, 2001

>X-eGroups-Return: lynnzee@...

>From: lynnzee@...

>X-WebTV-Signature: 1

>ETAtAhRA29HPce3dd+guNr4t49WPwl2CngIVAJsD60/si29fI4aHv8V+V8HrCKYP

>Date: Sat, 19 May 2001 11:06:41 -0400 (EDT)

>To: chronic_pain-owner

>Subject: new to group

>X-eGroups-Moderators: chronic_pain

>

>Hi every one,

>I have been reading your messages for a while, and you all seem like a

>very caring and helpful group....I have atypical facial pain or atypical

>trigeminal neuralgia. Any one else? It started 6 years ago (after an

>injury was injured several times over by a " professional " ). It has

>changed my life radically as you all know chronic pain will do. I am

>particularly having trouble with the inability to make a living. I feel

>unproductive, depressed, and extremely frustrated.(I've been in

>treatment for the depression since the beginning) I'm not ready to give

>up yet, but I am at my wits end! I really have difficulty with the loss

>of independence this has brought on. Thank goodness for my helpful

>family, I imagine I'd be in the streets if it weren't for them. It just

>seems to me there must be something I can do! Pain always gets the best

>of me, I can't even read for more than 15 minutes with out getting a

>migraine. I have found out I'm a pretty good artist however, and I can

>even paint when I'm in bed in pain! ( not as much eye strain), but its

>hard to make a living painting things....... Before I had a booming

>business as a beauty salon owner. After all attempts failed to hold on

>to my buss.I lost it, as well as my car, my home, social life,

>etc.Although I am not college educated, I just feel like if I were more

>productive, I would not feel quite so stuck.Like my future would be more

>hopeful...... This group seems to know a lot about the repercussions of

>having an invisible disability, the sometimes inexcusable behavior of

>doctors, and the never ending medications. I hope you can help me and I

>can help you as well. I've learned a lot about life, empathy, and what's

>really important, since this all started. I realize I may sound somewhat

>negative, but my true objective is to rise above my limitations and make

>he best of what I do have.I'd like to know what others are doing and

>would like some suggestions for anyone who has ideas on creating a new

>career for a chronic pain patient.

>Thanks,

>Lynnzee

June 29, 2001

Hi Donna, I have Sensory Polyneuropathy in my feet, legs, hands, arms, and

face..which is a painful Peripheral Neuropathy.. Before I was put on medication

I was a painful wreck...I take Neurontin which is a anti-seizure pain medication

but works great for nerve pain..I also take Elavil at bedtime and it too works

great for the burning sensation of nerve pain... The Elavil also acts rather

like a sedative and helps me to sleep.. I also take other meds, for high blood

pressure, Hypothyroid, GERD, ( acid reflux disease) and depression..and Anemia.

I don't have Diabetes and alot of the members from the support group I am in,

some have Diabetes and some don't...Sorry to hear about the drop foot..do you

use a cane to get around?

)

New to Group

Hello Everyone,

I am new to the list--only a couple of days. My name

is Donna. I suffer from arthritis and well as

diabetes.

In July of last year I suffered a diabetic neuropathy

in my right lateral nerve. Due to the neuropathy, I

developed a condition called drop foot. I wear a

brace to keep me from falling because my ankle is

limited in its movement. If I do not take my

medication it feels as though I have put my foot in a

light recipatial. It is very painful. It now starting

to show in the left leg as well. I have actually

begged the doctor's to remove the leg because it so

painful. Now I just take

one day at a time. Each morning I hope I can get out

of bed and be able to put pressure on the foot.

It will be nice to talk others that have chronic pain

and get support for once. All my co-workers think

that I should go on disablity. Well thanks for

letting me vent.

Donna

up any

__________________________________________________

June 29, 2001

Hi Donna

I have Reiters' Syndrome and I think that's all. That's enough! My fiance,

however, has what you do. He had hip surgery about 2 years ago and they messed

with the nerve. He developed drop foot from it. He too wears orthodics. He

can be in a lot of pain if he doesn't take his meds. If you have any questions

you'd like me to ask him--feel free. I'll relay them.

Peggy

Donna Wilkins wrote: Hello Everyone,

I am new to the list--only a couple of days. My name

is Donna. I suffer from arthritis and well as

diabetes.

In July of last year I suffered a diabetic neuropathy

in my right lateral nerve. Due to the neuropathy, I

developed a condition called drop foot. I wear a

brace to keep me from falling because my ankle is

limited in its movement. If I do not take my

medication it feels as though I have put my foot in a

light recipatial. It is very painful. It now starting

to show in the left leg as well. I have actually

begged the doctor's to remove the leg because it so

painful. Now I just take

one day at a time. Each morning I hope I can get out

of bed and be able to put pressure on the foot.

It will be nice to talk others that have chronic pain

and get support for once. All my co-workers think

that I should go on disablity. Well thanks for

letting me vent.

Donna

up any

__________________________________________________

January 27, 2002

Hello April, and welcome to the group. I hope you like it here. We have

several members with disk injury and disk-related pain.

--

Robbie in FL, co-moderator chronic_pain.

AS/ReA 18 + years, and still going...

feralelf@...

January 1, 2005

Hi : I would like to welcome you to the group. Its nice

to have you with us.

My name is and I'm a co-mod of the group.

, I do want to say I am sorry to hear of the troubles

you are having in your life.

You have said you were in therapy and it didn't work. I wonder

if it was at a time when you were ready to work on yourself for

it to work. Some of us aren't ready.

I have been in various therapy for years, for depression, for

anxiety, no self esteem and other issues.

In the beginning the therapy or what they teach you is foreign

as its having to change yourself and your outlook of your self.

Its much easier to fall back onto your old ways..they are safe

for you as you made them a safe place.

In the beginning the first thing I was taught was to become an

independent person, to be able to live totally on my own, to

make my own decisions, and to stand up for myself. I now

know why. No it wasn't easy..to change isn't easy but your

have to look within you, deep within you and WANT to

change. If you are not willing to work to change then it wont

work.

Change: A very easy word to use, to talk about but to actually

do it and achieve a change, whether a very small one at a

time isn't as easy to talk about. It requires work.

First, I just want you to know YOU are an important person,

YOU are a good person. YOU deserve better.

In using positive affirmations daily and especially when you

feel negative is the first step into changing the tapes in your

subconscious which you have made.

I wonder if your depression requires you to be on medication

and I so hope you will consult your doc to see if you need

medication.

YOU are lucky to have 2 children, a car, a nice appt and a job.

Most people would like to have at least one of these.

Please realize those 2 children look to you for a parent. I hope

you can teach them it doesnt have to hurt to be loved.

Please consider this yourself. You have been in an abusive

marriage and I hope you will consider therapy again to know

what this relationship did to you and your children. Also why

you are continuing in relationships with the same type people.

You are not alone, you have your children...something of

which I have lost. The 3 of you can work together to change.

Change is something you must WANT and it has to be

worked on. I say this to you from experience.

I couldnt make changes I needed for myself alone so I

needed to learn how to change and I worked to make

changes. I was in therapy and went to courses offered for

over 2 yrs.

Please understand I am only offering you this advice for I care

and from experiences I have went though.

I have learned...I have rights and I am allowed to stand up for

my rights.

This is something I think I was born with, but I am totally

against violence. No one, ever, has the right to hurt me

physically. Its just me and what Ive always believed. My ex

never touched me and the man I now live with would never.

Even with low self esteem its just something I would never

allow to happen. They would be charged and never allowed to

see me again. I always believed if someone cares for you then

they would never phycially hurt you, no exceptions.

Thats why I say I must of been born with it because I believe

so very strongly in it. It doesnt have to hurt to be loved.

I can only hope that I may of offered something to you

somehow into looking at your life and rethinking about how

good you can make it for you and your son's and I wish you all

my best.

Loving and caring hugs

On Sat, 1 Jan 2005 12:14:35 -0500, frozenfire34@...

wrote:

hi my name is christina and im a 35 year old single mother of

two, i

have a nice apartment and my own car and i cut hair for a

living....i

know i have a huge self asteam problem which lures me to

men who are no

good for me...im currently mixed up with the most awful man i

have ever

met yet im chasing him around and waiting for his phone calls

while he

is out all hours of the night...for example he called me at 2:30

am this

morning and i was just so glad that he called me!...i deserve

better

then that i know but i still wait around for him....then for

comfort i

turn to my abusive X husband who came over to my home last

wed night and

beat the crap out of me in front of my two teenage sons....i

guess i

just think these men will change

this past month i have really gotten myself into a deep

depression, all

i can think about day and night is this man who clearly dosnt

care about

me and as a result i dont eat and have lost lots of weight ...i

dont

sleep at night and have taken lots of sleeping pills every

night...i

dont clean my home and even found a dead mouse in my

hallway last

week...i force myself to go to work and when im there i dont

have much

concentration on my work....because of insurance reasons i

was unable to

get back into therapy but that has never worked in the past

anyway i

have called the suicide help line and that didnt really help

either.....i know that the problem is with in me and i know its

because

of my negative thinking and i want to get this stupid guy OUT

OF MY

HEAD!.....thanks for reading

January 1, 2005

,

I will send angels to keep you company and remind you that

you are really headed in the right direction.

To realize that both of these men are losers is a huge 1st

step. Your self esteem will improve dramatically when you

don't let these folks into your life.

I hope you reported your ex-husband's abuse. Doing nothing

gives him the power and takes from you (in my opinion).

I know depression...too well..most of my life. I encourage

you to get more involved in your sons lives..plan evenings

together..watch movies together, do something for someone

else..I've found that if I get outside myself, I do feel

better.

This too shall pass (promise!). I am a 52 yr old mom of

3 sons, 32, 22 and 10 and married 26 yrs.

Life is very good, at least it's 1000% better than

I ever thought it could be.

Dianna ^i^

frozenfire34@... wrote:

>hi my name is christina and im a 35 year old single mother of two, i

>have a nice apartment and my own car and i cut hair for a living....i

>know i have a huge self asteam problem which lures me to men who are no

>good for me...im currently mixed up with the most awful man i have ever

>met yet im chasing him around and waiting for his phone calls while he

>is out all hours of the night...for example he called me at 2:30 am this

>morning and i was just so glad that he called me!...i deserve better

>then that i know but i still wait around for him....then for comfort i

>turn to my abusive X husband who came over to my home last wed night and

>beat the crap out of me in front of my two teenage sons....i guess i

>just think these men will change

>

>this past month i have really gotten myself into a deep depression, all

>i can think about day and night is this man who clearly dosnt care about

>me and as a result i dont eat and have lost lots of weight ...i dont

>sleep at night and have taken lots of sleeping pills every night...i

>dont clean my home and even found a dead mouse in my hallway last

>week...i force myself to go to work and when im there i dont have much

>concentration on my work....because of insurance reasons i was unable to

>get back into therapy but that has never worked in the past anyway i

>have called the suicide help line and that didnt really help

>either.....i know that the problem is with in me and i know its because

>of my negative thinking and i want to get this stupid guy OUT OF MY

>HEAD!.....thanks for reading

>

January 1, 2005

hi dianna and thanks...you know, i just feel like i have wasted too

much of my life....for 14 years i was with my husband and then after i

left him i was with a drug addict for 3 years then i was by myself for

about a year and a half and then met this current guy who only talks to

me late at night and says he loves me but cant be with me untill he gets

his divorce from his wife who he has been separated from for 6 years but

in all reality i just think he dosnt want to be with me at all and i

wonder why not? im very pretty and keep in shape and i have alot to

offer and a nice home and my own car and i pay my own bills yet he just

lives at his sisters house with nothing....i even wonder why im not even

good enough to be " used " crazy huh?......so now i think back over all

these years and how i never wanted friends and i think of all the ppl

that came into my life who i shut out because i was too busy taking care

of these sick men in my life and i feel like its too late now...im 35

years old now BUT you are right, i have my teenage sons who do want to

be with me and i can watch movies with them or play games ....i just

have to get thru the winter month because in the summer time my boys

like to go fishing and hiking and we plan to go out biking this

spring....i just need to have my head clear by then so im not thinking

about this stupid loser no good man while im trying to move on with my

life

January 3, 2005

Dear ,

Welcome to affirmations to de-stress! I'm so glad that you are here, and I'm

sure we can make you feel welcome and at home.

What you are describing is a very common scenario in the world today. My

heart goes out to you, and certainly I can understand how and why you feel this

way. I have had low self-esteem and low self-confidence problems most of my

life. I think that we can certainly give you some suggestions, and chat and

help you some here. But, I'm afraid that it will take some time. Old habits

are very hard to break -- but, you probably already know that.

Have you ever read any of the books by Melody Beattie about Codependency?

They are excellent. You might also join a 12 step program called " Codependents

Anonymous " -- it is a group of people who get together and discuss codependency

and how to overcome it, how to recognize it, and how to break out of those

patterns.

Another thing I can highly suggest is reading the books of Louise Hay or

even listening to her audio cassette tapes or CD's. Louise Hay really teaches

us to love ourselves! That is something that many of us have never learn or

been taught. We first have to love ourselves, before we can truly love another.

And, once you truly love yourself, take care of yourself, value yourself, and

all of that --- THEN, you can love another. And then, you won't be " putting up "

with crap or men who only dish out crap back to you. You will know that you are

worth more than that, and you will insist and demand on something better. As I

said before, this whole thing is a lengthy process. But, it is possible to

overcome this!!!

Have hope and know that these bad habits can be broken, and that your life

doesn't have to continue on being the way that it has in the past. They say in

many of the 12 step programs, " Insanity is doing the same thing you've always

done, but expecting a different outcome. If you've always gotten the same

results from doing a certain behavior and a certain mindset, then WHY do we

think it will ever change by continuing to redo or reconstruct the same behavior

and same thinking patterns? It won't! " But, unfortunately, this is a trap that

many of us fall into.

, the first thing you need to do is: Every day look at yourself

in the mirror, and say " I love myself. " Say it with conviction. Say it while

you look straight into your eyes, don't be shy and look away. Look at yourself

directly, eye to eye (through the mirror), and say " I love myself " . Just those

3 words. Don't hem and haw around, and say " I think I love myself, or I kinda

love myself, or anything else. " Just say: " I love myself. " Okay, at first --

you may not feel this, or believe it. But, it will be a good start, and then you

can go on from there. IF you can, do this 10 times in a row, three times a day.

Or even more if you have the time. " Fake it until you can make it " . Even if

you feel like you are lying to yourself, at first by saying those words, DO IT

ANYWAY! Eventually, after much repetition, you will begin to feel the power and

the strength and the truth of those words -- " I love myself. " Just start with

this for one week and let me know what

happens.

Please realize I'm not a therapist, am not a doctor, or anything like

that. But, I have had lots of experience with low self-esteem and bad habits

and many other things -- personally, and through watching & working with others.

Just give some of these things a good honest try, and we can build on the first

step with more in time. Don't give up. Things CAN improve.

Please know that I say all of this with the greatest love, concern, and

caring for you. I don't mean to be too stern, or too bossy, or too bitchy.

Please excuse my language here -- I really do not cuss -- guess I'm just trying

to emphasize this! I am a kind person, who loves people and wants to help them.

That's all. I can help you, and the other group members can help you. But, you

have to help yourself also. You did the first thing by joining this group, and

asking for help! That is wonderful! Now, your second step is by saying, " I love

myself " many times each and every day in front of the mirror.

, there are many wonderful stories and positive affirmations on

this message board. Just go to the group site, and in the left column, click on

where it says " archives " or " Messages " and it will take you back to the very

first messages of this group and all those in between until the current

messages. You are more than welcome to read as many of them as you want. They

are there to help each of us.

, I'm excited for you. This is not only a New Year, but a

wonderful new beginning for you and your sons. Give this a try, and let's work

together!

Have a wonderful week! Love & Hugs, PJ, group owner/moderator

frozenfire34@... wrote:

hi my name is christina and im a 35 year old single mother of two, i

have a nice apartment and my own car and i cut hair for a living....i

know i have a huge self asteam problem which lures me to men who are no

good for me...im currently mixed up with the most awful man i have ever

met yet im chasing him around and waiting for his phone calls while he

is out all hours of the night...for example he called me at 2:30 am this

morning and i was just so glad that he called me!...i deserve better

then that i know but i still wait around for him....then for comfort i

turn to my abusive X husband who came over to my home last wed night and

beat the crap out of me in front of my two teenage sons....i guess i

just think these men will change

this past month i have really gotten myself into a deep depression, all

i can think about day and night is this man who clearly dosnt care about

me and as a result i dont eat and have lost lots of weight ...i dont

sleep at night and have taken lots of sleeping pills every night...i

dont clean my home and even found a dead mouse in my hallway last

week...i force myself to go to work and when im there i dont have much

concentration on my work....because of insurance reasons i was unable to

get back into therapy but that has never worked in the past anyway i

have called the suicide help line and that didnt really help

either.....i know that the problem is with in me and i know its because

of my negative thinking and i want to get this stupid guy OUT OF MY

HEAD!.....thanks for reading

---------------------------------

January 3, 2005

,

Please know that you are not alone! Not only do you have people around

here who already feel drawn to you, and want to help. But, you are not alone as

to the circumstances you now find yourself in! Girl, this is more common than

you may know. Many of us either came from dysfunctional family backgrounds (in

our childhoods), or we grew up, and have been abused as adults in different

situations. Whether it is spousal abuse, job abuse like through a supervisor

demeaning us, or whatever -- and think about it -- we abuse ourselves!!! Yes, we

are abusing ourselves by not sticking up for ourselves, for not expecting better

out of people and situations, etc. So, please give yourself permission to

start taking care of yourself!! Now!

, you are worth it! One of my favorite sayings is " I am a

Child of God " . I really truly believe that each of us are children of our

Heavenly Father, or a Higher Power if you prefer calling it that. And the

expression of " God don't make junk! " How very true! Please know that you are

very special, that you are unique, and have talents and abilties that noone else

may have! Blossom, and take care of yourself. You really ARE WORTH IT!!

And when I put words in caps in this group, I am not screaming -- at

least not in an unkind way. I use caps to emphasize certain words.

Things are getting better and better each and every day. Love & Hugs,

PJ