Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 I'd start off asking the teacher what measures she has taken to protect your son and how she plans to handle this type of situation in the future. If you don't get satisfactory answers move on up the ladder. Next step would be the campus Principal, then Sp Ed Director, then Superintendent, then School Board. You will carry more weight if there are other parents having similar problems who will speak up with you. Tonya ------------------------------------ Texas Federation of Families Tonya Hettler Trainer 7003 E FM 1294 Idalou, TX 79329 mobile: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/w-i-n ------------------------------------ Abuse from classmates My son is 5 years old and in Pre-K. Yesterday he came home from school with a very small, light colored bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. I know for a fact that it did NOT come from his teacher. When I asked him what happened, he told me that a classmate (he gave me a name) had punched him. He's often told me that he doesn't like school because his " friends " are mean to him. How do I handle that subject of classmate abuse or bullying when it comes to my son's IEP? He's only 5 and we have a long way to go on this and I don't even know where to start on how to handle it. Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 Anne, I am so sorry that your son is going through this!! Here are a couple of things that might be useful ... http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/parentsPros/pdf/BP-4.pdf ... talks about using the IEP to address bullying http://www.ed.gov/PressReleases/07-2000/PolicyDisabilityharassment.doc This is a memo from the US Dept of Education about bullying that has some good legal language in it to give to the school if they want to pooh-pooh the bullying issue -- it should get their attention! " Disability harassment is a form of discrimination prohibited by Section 504 and Title II. Both Section 504 and Title II provide parents and students with grievance procedures and due process remedies at the local level. Individuals and organizations also may file complaints with OCR. States and school districts also have a responsibility under Section 504, Title II, and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), which is enforced by OSERS, to ensure that a free appropriate public education (FAPE) is made available to eligible students with disabilities. Disability harassment may result in a denial of FAPE under these statutes. Parents may initiate administrative due process procedures under IDEA, Section 504, or Title II to address a denial of FAPE, including a denial that results from disability harassment. Individuals and organizations also may file complaints with OCR, alleging a denial of FAPE that results from disability harassment. In addition, an individual or organization may file a complaint alleging a violation of IDEA under separate procedures with the state educational agency. State compliance with IDEA, including compliance with FAPE requirements, is monitored by OSERS' Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP). " http://www.pacer.org/publications/BullyingFlyer.pdf A resource by PACER -- a course on bullying Here are some tips, also from PACER: The following are 10 suggested steps to follow when parents choose to formally notify school administrators about their concern of harassment based on the child's disability. 1. In writing, address the notification to a specific person and date the letter. 2. Write the letter to a person who has the authority to investigate and the authority to correct the wrong. 3. Note that the school district is a recipient of federal financial assistance. 4. State the past or continuing discriminatory activity against your child. 5. State that the school district has control over both the site of the discrimination and over any school personnel involved. 6. Explain that the discrimination was not a single act but was severe and pervasive. 7. Tell how the discrimination excluded your child from continued participation in school or denied your child the benefits to which other students in school have access. 8. Explain, as well as you can, what you would like the school to do to stop the discrimination or to remediate the harm the discrimination has done to your child. 9. Ask for a copy of a school district grievance procedure under Section 504 (even if your child has an IEP under IDEA). Not having this information may result in continued discrimination. 10. State that if the person receiving this letter does not investigate or does not take effective corrective action, that you may claim that the district showed deliberate indifference to the discrimination. You may also want to add a date you expect to hear back from the district in regards to your letter. Take care. -Anita > My son is 5 years old and in Pre-K. Yesterday he came home from school with a very small, light colored bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. I know for a fact that it did NOT come from his teacher. When I asked him what happened, he told me that a classmate (he gave me a name) had punched him. He's often told me that he doesn't like school because his " friends " are mean to him. How do I handle that subject of classmate abuse or bullying when it comes to my son's IEP? He's only 5 and we have a long way to go on this and I don't even know where to start on how to handle it. > Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 In a message dated 1/24/2006 2:34:30 P.M. Central Standard Time, Lady_Anne76@... writes: My son is 5 years old and in Pre-K. Yesterday he came home from school with a very small, light colored bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. How do I handle that subject of classmate abuse or bullying.. Farb, M.A. Executive Director at The Center for Behavior Therapy in Houston gives a seminar on bullying called, " Bully - Bait: Behavioral Strategies for Victims of Bullying " regarding children with developmental disabilities often being the target of bullies. He is going to conduct two sessions on this subject at the special education parent conference and resource fair sponsored by Special Kids / Special Parents of Katy and Katy ISD Special Ed dept. on Saturday, February 18 during session 3 (1:30 - 2:45) and again during session 4 (3:15 - 4:30). Or contact his center at , to see if they can do a phone consult. About 13 years ago he helped me to heal a recurring gastric ulcer by using a bio feedback technique. You can register for the conference at _www.specialkidskaty.com_ (http://www.specialkidskaty.com) . Reece Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 Thank you Anita! It's just one thing after another with this school. Anne > My son is 5 years old and in Pre-K. > Yesterday he came home from school with a very small, light colored > bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. I know for a fact that it > did NOT come from his teacher. When I asked him what happened, he > told me that a classmate (he gave me a name) had punched him. He's > often told me that he doesn't like school because his " friends " are > mean to him. How do I handle that subject of classmate abuse or > bullying when it comes to my son's IEP? He's only 5 and we have a > long way to go on this and I don't even know where to start on how to > handle it. > > Anne > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 Anne, If this were my child, I would first do some " spying " to observe firsthand what is going on. I would try to be as inconspicuous as possible and watch your child interact with others in places where there is less adult supervision ie. cafeteria and playground. If you're lucky enough to see exactly who the bully kid(or kids) are, then you have more information to give the school. I wouldn't trust the teacher alone to look out for this--even if she has the best intentions, she may miss out on something that you can pick up on if you're " snooping around in the bushes " so to speak. Also, by observing your child interacting with others(without him knowing) can give you some insights on ways to help him deal with others in social situations where he may need some help. Maybe this will also help you come up with some good ideas for his IEP too. This is something you definitely want to address now, especially while the bullies are still young! a Abuse from classmates My son is 5 years old and in Pre-K. Yesterday he came home from school with a very small, light colored bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. I know for a fact that it did NOT come from his teacher. When I asked him what happened, he told me that a classmate (he gave me a name) had punched him. He's often told me that he doesn't like school because his " friends " are mean to him. How do I handle that subject of classmate abuse or bullying when it comes to my son's IEP? He's only 5 and we have a long way to go on this and I don't even know where to start on how to handle it. Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 The first piece of advice I received when my child became a special ed child was to put my concerns on paper and send a copy to everyone up the ladder who might have some contact with your child, from teacher to the head of the district if necessary. It has worked with me. Make sure everyone is on the same page and more likely than not, things will happen. Dawn Tonya Hettler wrote: I'd start off asking the teacher what measures she has taken to protect your son and how she plans to handle this type of situation in the future. If you don't get satisfactory answers move on up the ladder. Next step would be the campus Principal, then Sp Ed Director, then Superintendent, then School Board. You will carry more weight if there are other parents having similar problems who will speak up with you. Tonya ------------------------------------ Texas Federation of Families Tonya Hettler Trainer 7003 E FM 1294 Idalou, TX 79329 mobile: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/w-i-n ------------------------------------ Abuse from classmates My son is 5 years old and in Pre-K. Yesterday he came home from school with a very small, light colored bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. I know for a fact that it did NOT come from his teacher. When I asked him what happened, he told me that a classmate (he gave me a name) had punched him. He's often told me that he doesn't like school because his " friends " are mean to him. How do I handle that subject of classmate abuse or bullying when it comes to my son's IEP? He's only 5 and we have a long way to go on this and I don't even know where to start on how to handle it. Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 Is this a class with other children with autism? What do you do if your child is being targeted by another autistic child? My school could not protect my son last year (the " bully " was quick as lightning). I was just curious. Re: Abuse from classmates Thank you Anita! It's just one thing after another with this school. Anne > My son is 5 years old and in Pre-K. > Yesterday he came home from school with a very small, light colored > bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. I know for a fact that it > did NOT come from his teacher. When I asked him what happened, he > told me that a classmate (he gave me a name) had punched him. He's > often told me that he doesn't like school because his " friends " are > mean to him. How do I handle that subject of classmate abuse or > bullying when it comes to my son's IEP? He's only 5 and we have a > long way to go on this and I don't even know where to start on how to > handle it. > > Anne > Texas Autism Advocacy www.TexasAutismAdvocacy.org Texas Disability Network Calendar of Events www.TexasAutismAdvocacy.org Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 Zoe has no problems with other children. She is very " alpha " in that regard. The class is not strictly autistic children, but is all special needs kids. The school district does not have an ASD program, per se, but just adapts for kids with those needs. Jeff Cunningham, DC Re: Abuse from classmates Thank you Anita! It's just one thing after another with this school. Anne > My son is 5 years old and in Pre-K. > Yesterday he came home from school with a very small, light colored > bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. I know for a fact that it > did NOT come from his teacher. When I asked him what happened, he > told me that a classmate (he gave me a name) had punched him. He's > often told me that he doesn't like school because his " friends " are > mean to him. How do I handle that subject of classmate abuse or > bullying when it comes to my son's IEP? He's only 5 and we have a > long way to go on this and I don't even know where to start on how to > handle it. > > Anne > Texas Autism Advocacy www.TexasAutismAdvocacy.org Texas Disability Network Calendar of Events www.TexasAutismAdvocacy.org Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 This is a great idea from a. Also, is your child in a mainstream class? What is his diagnosis? I've always felt that it is beneficial to alert the kids my child interacts with about his situation. I go in at the beginning of every school year and explain about autism, behaviors, stims, etc. I firmly believe that kids are afraid of what they don't understand and that sets up a situation for teasing or bullying. Therefore, if the kids are educated about the situation, they can better handle someone who might act a little different than them. I know it would be very hard to explain to five year olds....but it might be helpful. Or even to talk to the " bully's " parents and try to work from that angle also. The school and teacher should protect your child....but if the other kids are aware and knowledgeable of your child's differences....situations in the future might be avoided. Beth mom to Tanner > > Anne, > If this were my child, I would first do some " spying " to observe firsthand what is going on. I would try to be as inconspicuous as possible and watch your child interact with others in places where there is less adult supervision ie. cafeteria and playground. If you're lucky enough to see exactly who the bully kid(or kids) are, then you have more information to give the school. I wouldn't trust the teacher alone to look out for this--even if she has the best intentions, she may miss out on something that you can pick up on if you're " snooping around in the bushes " so to speak. Also, by observing your child interacting with others(without him knowing) can give you some insights on ways to help him deal with others in social situations where he may need some help. Maybe this will also help you come up with some good ideas for his IEP too. This is something you definitely want to address now, especially while the bullies are still young! > > a > Abuse from classmates > > > My son is 5 years old and in Pre-K. Yesterday he came home from school with > a very small, light colored bruise on his cheek, just under his eye. I know > for a fact that it did NOT come from his teacher. When I asked him what > happened, he told me that a classmate (he gave me a name) had punched him. > He's often told me that he doesn't like school because his " friends " are > mean to him. How do I handle that subject of classmate abuse or bullying > when it comes to my son's IEP? He's only 5 and we have a long way to go on > this and I don't even know where to start on how to handle it. > > Anne > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 26, 2006 Report Share Posted January 26, 2006 Anne, Our stories are a bit similar. My son was in 8th grade when he started having problems. The head of the school's autism department tested him and said he wasn't Aspergers. saw 2 different Psychiatrists and now a neurologist who said he was. My son entered 9th grade and started having problems going to school again. In an ARD I told the school that he needed to be re-evaluated. This time there was a new head of the autism department. In January was retested. She found him to be Aspergers with Inertia. She also said it was difficult to test him because he didn't just fit the classical case. I'll stop here because the lists go on. In eight grade he got in special ed on the emotional disturbances label in which the aspergers label was eventually added. I often feel the same way about homeschooling, but I am not going to give up. Every morning it is a struggle to get him up to go to school. He is in bed now and can't get himself up. Today I am going to a credit appeal meeting because has not met the 90% attendance requirement. I have my doctor's letters today to prove his absences are part of his condition. I am trying to get attendance requirements changed for him. If that doesn't work there are two other options which the school would not want to do because they are expensive: homebound or residental treatment school for his education. has the same main issues as your son. The first day back to second semester in January he refused to go to his classes because his schedule had changed. He chose to go to In School Suspension. is extremely limited in his social skills, has processing problems and difficulty in communicating what he wants to say. Good Luck, Dawn Anne wrote: It's a mainstream Pre-K. The school's evaluation results said that my son did not fit the criteria for an ASD, but he has 2 private medical diagnosis. One as ASD and one as PDD-NOS. I really just want to pull him out and home school him, but I don't feel that it would be a benefit to him, because his main problems are changes in routine and social, and apparently, he only shows his autistic qualities with me, since the school administration and special ed co-op treat me like I am making it up. Anne -- Re: Abuse from classmates This is a great idea from a. Also, is your child in a mainstream class? What is his diagnosis? I've always felt that it is beneficial to alert the kids my child interacts with about his situation. I go in at the beginning of every school year and explain about autism, behaviors, stims, etc. I firmly believe that kids are afraid of what they don't understand and that sets up a situation for teasing or bullying. Therefore, if the kids are educated about the situation, they can better handle someone who might act a little different than them. I know it would be very hard to explain to five year olds....but it might be helpful. Or even to talk to the " bully's " parents and try to work from that angle also. The school and teacher should protect your child....but if the other kids are aware and knowledgeable of your child's differences....situations in the future might be avoided. Beth mom to Tanner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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