Angry phase of my RA

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I know I have not posted in awhile, but I do read as often as I

can. I have reached the I am really angry stage of my disease. I

assume this is a normal transition now that I have been diagnosed

officially with RA for a year or am I a freak? It has finally sunk

in that I am disabled probably for the rest of my life as every

doctor I see agrees with the disability decision. I am angry

because my hubby is unhappy with his job, but he can do something

about that, like look for another one. Yes, it could take a year or

more for him to find something he likes, but I don't get to switch

diseases or reapply for a different one because I don't like this

one. I get really angry lately about the whole mess. I am sick of

running to doctors, sick of meds, sick of not being able to do the

things I want. This last doctor at this pain clinic told me I would

not be able to walk for exercise as it would be much to hard on my

joints, etc., etc., like I did not know that already since I have

trouble walking through the grocery store and I have handicap plates

just so I can go in and out of the grocery store. Also, I am still

going around and around about my pain management. I now have my

rheumy on my side who agrees that I need long-term chronic pain

medication, but he has to have approval because of my insurance from

my primary care physician who " does not believe in that " . Excuse me

for not falling into the normal range of your patients. I would

love to switch places with him someday. I am sure my rheumy will

get it all straightened out as he has vowed to, but I cannot believe

I am still fighting to just have a semi decent quality of life. You

know where you get up and get dressed and maybe walk around the

house a little and talk to your kids. I am just disgusted with the

whole thing and very ANGRY as I seem to keep saying. I cannot hold

all of this anger in because I am going to scream if I don't let it

out, but I just want to know if this is normal. The doctor said

something about going through the stages of grief and that is what I

was doing???? Because I have lost my way of life, my job and you

know what I miss the most - DANCING, yep, DANCING. My feet are

horrid though. Well, thanks for letting me vent and any thoughts

would be greatly appreciated. I cannot imagine I am the first

person to get angry, but you never know.

Angry in Maine

Tracie