Re: Need some help!!!

[Guest guest]

Darcy, If you are fit before you get pregnant, you'll be much more likely to

get back there quickly. Also you can stay fairly active while pregnant under

a doctor's supervision. (No, I don't have kids, but talked to the doctor

about it because I am supposed to stay under a certain weight with my back).

But you have to look at all the issues. I really think that when you are

REALLY ready you will know it. Its not selfish to want to maintain the way

you look right now for a while. It sounds like you are just beginning to have

fun with who you are. Self-confidence is a very important thing for a mother

to pass on to her child.

Remember to up your folic acid intake ;-)

a

<< Okay guys - I have a dilemma. My husband and I are getting a tad ready

for

kids, but I am so unsure if I want to take the plunge. I beleive that he is

more ready than I and we have waited as long as we should wait (he's 35, but

I'm younger). I hate to feel so selfish about it, but never in my life have

I been so happy with the way I look and feel, and just with everything in

general. I need you guys to kick me in the butt and tell me to get on the

road with children. I am a person who doesn't like change also, and am

being such a chicken-butt as to what changes children will bring. I know

that I want children and I don't think that there isn't a better time than

now but am so afraid to do it!!!! Am I making sense???? I have already

cancelled an appiontment once for being taken off of birth control and

February is when I told myself and husband I would reschedule (that would be

an estimated 6 months from then to conceive). The bad part is that my

husband is SOOOO negotiable/easy to please, and he supports me in whatever I

decide, so he's not pushing me in any way. But I do know that he is ready

for them. Now, I'm chicken-butt again that the time to get rid of my birth

control is coming up.

Can anybody relate with me?? Or tell me some SUCCESS stories of being fit

and exercising throughout pregnancy??

Darcy who fusterates herself to death with this situation

>>

[Guest guest]

--- * Darcy * wrote:

> Okay guys - I have a dilemma. My husband and I are

> getting a tad ready for

> kids, but I am so unsure if I want to take the

> plunge. I beleive that he is

> more ready than I and we have waited as long as we

> should wait (he's 35, but

> I'm younger). I hate to feel so selfish about it,

> but never in my life have

> I been so happy with the way I look and feel, and

> just with everything in

> general. I need you guys to kick me in the butt and

> tell me to get on the

> road with children. I am a person who doesn't like

> change also, and am

> being such a chicken-butt as to what changes

> children will bring. I know

> that I want children and I don't think that there

> isn't a better time than

> now but am so afraid to do it!!!! Am I making

> sense???? I have already

> cancelled an appiontment once for being taken off of

> birth control and

> February is when I told myself and husband I would

> reschedule (that would be

> an estimated 6 months from then to conceive). The

> bad part is that my

> husband is SOOOO negotiable/easy to please, and he

> supports me in whatever I

> decide, so he's not pushing me in any way. But I do

> know that he is ready

> for them. Now, I'm chicken-butt again that the time

> to get rid of my birth

> control is coming up.

>

> Can anybody relate with me?? Or tell me some

> SUCCESS stories of being fit

> and exercising throughout pregnancy??

>

Darcy, I can really empathize with you. For the same reasons and more, I

know that I don't ever want to become pregnant as selfish as that sounds. It

sounds like for you that it is not a question of if you are going to have

children, but when you are going to do it. You didn't give your exact age,

but maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to wait until you are more ready.

Having children is such a big decision that you want to be ready for it. I

just wanted to let you know that I understand the weight concerns.

Fortunately (or unfortunately?) for me, my husband and I don't want children.

I admire all women who make that big step and make the sacrifices it entails.

Elena

[Guest guest]

Darcy

I know you don't know me from Adam cause I don't post

but I had to reply to your post. I'm not big on change

either but I have to say the joy a child will bring to

your life far out weighs any fear you have towards

anything. There is 5 yrs between my last two children

and I really wanted to get pregnant and after 3

months(i'm very impatient) I said never mind and

would'nt you know it I was pregnant. We were very set

in our ways no daipers, bottles and my son was getting

ready to start kindergarten so I wanted to go back to

work part time. Just to look at my daughter brings joy

to my heart like nothing else can. As far as staying

fit, if you have been on an excercise program for a

while then nothing has to change in fact being

pregnant makes you think more about how well you take

care of yourself. It's second nature. Sorry to be so

long winded but I hope this helps a little.

Amy

--- * Darcy * wrote:

> Okay guys - I have a dilemma. My husband and I are

> getting a tad ready for

> kids, but I am so unsure if I want to take the

> plunge. I beleive that he is

> more ready than I and we have waited as long as we

> should wait (he's 35, but

> I'm younger). I hate to feel so selfish about it,

> but never in my life have

> I been so happy with the way I look and feel, and

> just with everything in

> general. I need you guys to kick me in the butt and

> tell me to get on the

> road with children. I am a person who doesn't like

> change also, and am

> being such a chicken-butt as to what changes

> children will bring. I know

> that I want children and I don't think that there

> isn't a better time than

> now but am so afraid to do it!!!! Am I making

> sense???? I have already

> cancelled an appiontment once for being taken off of

> birth control and

> February is when I told myself and husband I would

> reschedule (that would be

> an estimated 6 months from then to conceive). The

> bad part is that my

> husband is SOOOO negotiable/easy to please, and he

> supports me in whatever I

> decide, so he's not pushing me in any way. But I do

> know that he is ready

> for them. Now, I'm chicken-butt again that the time

> to get rid of my birth

> control is coming up.

>

> Can anybody relate with me?? Or tell me some

> SUCCESS stories of being fit

> and exercising throughout pregnancy??

>

> Darcy who fusterates herself to death with this

> situation

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

> http://explorer.msn.com

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Darcy, to be honest, I don't know if anyone is EVER ready to be a

parent! LOL I know that when my husband and I decided to bit the

bullet, we were both 23 and after the first time without birth control

I chickened out and we used something after that. Well, it was two

weeks later I found out it was too late. I went through so many

emotions, mostly not good which I hate to say. Thank GOD it happened

that way though or else I probably would still be chicken and here I

now have two kids (7 and almost 5)I love more then anything. I

remember though feeling so sorry for myself - here I was pregnant with

my first child and scared out of my wits and I remember talking to my

mom on the phone and she told me to stop acting like a sorry piece of

dog shit. This will always stand out in my mind because I was SHOCKED

to hear this from my mom of ALL people - but you know, it's EXACTLY

what I needed and my mom is the only one that could have did it and

gotten by with it. And I did stop feeling sorry for myself and

started looking forward to holding my baby in my arms. When you hold

your brand new baby you realize what love at first sight means.

Another thing, enjoy your first pregnancy because you will never, ever

get it back. It is the only time you can totally 100% concentrate on

the baby growing inside of you. When you are pregnant your second

time and after, you have another child (or children) that needs your

attention too. Doesn't mean those pregnancies are anything less

special - they are just different.

As far as weight - I'm not going to be much help. I can tell you that

the skinniest I was was a year after my second child was born. And

here I am with my littlest going to be five and I weigh just as much

as I did when I WAS pregnant. Very depressing. Being really fit

before hand is going to be such an advantage. It'll help make it an

easier pregnancy and you will be able to jump back on the fitness

wagon afterwards. I didn't concentrate too hard on working out when I

was pregnant but if I had to do it over again, I would.

Best of luck and please let us know when the good news arrives! (sorry

so long!)

le

[Guest guest]

Darcy,

I'm sure this is a common dilemma. I'm going to be 35 soon which

only leaves me a few more child-bearing years. I just can't " get off

the pot " and make a decision one way or the other to have kids. My

husband is the same as yours in the easy-going sense. He's pretty

much leaving it up to me to let him know when I'm ready for kids. My

feeling is that if I don't want them badly enough, then maybe I

shouldn't be having them. That's just my opinion for myself. I'm

sorta letting " the Man upstairs " decide if we should start a family.

But is that the wrong approach? I know that if I'm meant to have

kids He'll see to it one way or the other! I can't help you on the

decision of whether or not to have kids, but know that you're not

alone in having trouble making the decision.

Ann Marie

> Okay guys - I have a dilemma. My husband and I are getting a tad

ready for

> kids, but I am so unsure if I want to take the plunge. I beleive

that he is

> more ready than I and we have waited as long as we should wait

(he's 35, but

> I'm younger). I hate to feel so selfish about it, but never in my

life have

> I been so happy with the way I look and feel, and just with

everything in

> general. I need you guys to kick me in the butt and tell me to get

on the

> road with children. I am a person who doesn't like change also,

and am

> being such a chicken-butt as to what changes children will bring.

I know

> that I want children and I don't think that there isn't a better

time than

> now but am so afraid to do it!!!! Am I making sense???? I have

already

> cancelled an appiontment once for being taken off of birth control

and

> February is when I told myself and husband I would reschedule (that

would be

> an estimated 6 months from then to conceive). The bad part is that

my

> husband is SOOOO negotiable/easy to please, and he supports me in

whatever I

> decide, so he's not pushing me in any way. But I do know that he

is ready

> for them. Now, I'm chicken-butt again that the time to get rid of

my birth

> control is coming up.

>

> Can anybody relate with me?? Or tell me some SUCCESS stories of

being fit

> and exercising throughout pregnancy??

>

> Darcy who fusterates herself to death with this situation

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

> Can anybody relate with me?? Or tell me some SUCCESS stories of

being fit

> and exercising throughout pregnancy??

Darcy,

I can relate I can't help you with the exercising through

pregnancy thing since I was totally out of shape during my pregnancy

with Skylar (check out my before photos at

http://community.webshots.com/user/slowens1)....LOL! But, I can tell

you that the joy a child brings into your life is worth any weight

that you will gain! I have some of the same concerns as you because

I recently went off the pill and although we aren't actively trying

to get pregnant....we're gonna see what happens I have NEVER been

in better shape in my life and initially I was a little fearful of

what a pregnancy would do to that! But, I realized that it wouldn't

really change that much! I mean, sure I'm going to gain weight while

I am pregnant, but this time around I am so fit and I KNOW that I

will continue to exercise if I do get pregnant! I also know that

it's possible to completely re-shape your body after a pregnancy and

end up looking better post-pregnancy than you did before you gave

birth! So, the weight doesn't scare me!

As for hating change...believe me, I'm the same way! Yes, children

will change your life (boy, will they change your life...LOL) but it

will be a change that you embrace! All you will need to do is take

one look into your child's eyes or hear them say " I lub yu,

mommy " ....LOL and you will simply melt! Any change that occurs in

your life is well worth it, in my opinion! Of course, ultimately the

decision is up to you and YOU have to be ok with it in your own

heart! But, as the mother of a 2 year old, I can honestly say that

Skylar is my greatest accomplishment to date and she fills my life

with so much love that I would do it all over in a heartbeat! Even if

I still weighed exactly the same thing I did the day I gave birth

Fortunately, you are one step ahead of the game already being in

great shape and working out consistently....none of that has to

change just because you get pregnant

[Guest guest]

> Darcy

>

> I know you don't know me from Adam cause I don't post

> but I had to reply to your post. I'm not big on change

> either but I have to say the joy a child will bring to

> your life far out weighs any fear you have towards

> anything.

That was a beautiful post Amy! I couldn't agree more! Thanks for

coming out of lurk mode (even if it is just for a minute)

[Guest guest]

Okay, you guys are truly the best!! I don't know what I would do if

I couldn't come here and talk with you people who understand what I

am thinking and feeling. I have family and I have tons of friends,

but nobody who is really into fitness and/or health. I am so happy

for finding this list that has all of you in it

Amy - thank you so much for your post. It was heart-warming and I

don't think you should only be lurking with such an obvious great

talent for words. Your lurking is wasteful - ha. Come out more

often and give us your opinion!! Thanks again.....

le - thank you also for your kind words as well. It makes me

feel better to know that you were at your skinniest point after

having your second child... Not that I need to be any skinnier, but

to confirm that getting in shape afer children is not impossible. I

think that I would be a lot like you when/if I become pregnant.

Thanks for being so honest

Ann Marie and Elena - It is wonderful to know that I am not the only

one who thinks the way I do. Thanks for making me not feel so

" alone " . I am 25 years old Elena. I'm glad that you made a decision

as to whether or not to have children and you are obviously very

happy with that decision. I envy you Ann Marie, I think it is

also great that you have decided to no longer 'decide' and let the

man upstais take care of it for ya.

a - I agree that I have been enjoying my new body, but yet I

don't think I will ever " tire " of enjoying it. Do you know what I

mean??? I think that I will always walk with my head higher now and

I don't know that more time will make me feel any closer to having

children. Thank you so much for replying

- Thank you also for your honesty and kind words.... I can

only imagine the love that comes with a baby. I have a nephew and

niece that I love more than anything. I can only imagine when I have

my " very " own. I have a WONDERFUL step-daughter also, and I have

known her since she was about three (she's ten now), I also love her

with all my heart, she isn't nearly the maintenance that my very own

baby will bring me.... OKAY , I think I would get pregnant

tomorrow, if I knew I had you to do it with me - ha!!! I'm smiling

right now knowing that you got rid of your bc.

To sum it up, you guys helped tremendously, I value your input, I

have also saved all of your replies for future reference The

facts are that I do want children but just keep finding myself

procrastinating it way to much. I have had an excuse for a long time

now. When I look at the big picture, there isn't really a better

time than now, so it's just a matter of doing it and KNOWING that

there isn't a better time. Time goes by too fast, I told my husband

that I would get my norplant out this February and I am flabergasted

that it's here already. Man, time goes way to fast.

Boy sorry this is sooo long. Thank you to everybody for responding

and giving me your input. I will let you know when I become strong

enough to make that dang appointment to see my doctor

Hugs to you all

Darcy - who realy needs to come up with a nickname for this group and

maybe even change her e-mail address. There may be friends and

family reading and I don't open-up nearly as much to them as I do

you... What if they do the math and find me - uh-oh

> Okay guys - I have a dilemma. My husband and I are getting a tad

ready for

> kids, but I am so unsure if I want to take the plunge. I beleive

that he is

> more ready than I and we have waited as long as we should wait

(he's 35, but

> I'm younger). I hate to feel so selfish about it, but never in my

life have

> I been so happy with the way I look and feel, and just with

everything in

> general. I need you guys to kick me in the butt and tell me to get

on the

> road with children. I am a person who doesn't like change also,

and am

> being such a chicken-butt as to what changes children will bring.

I know

> that I want children and I don't think that there isn't a better

time than

> now but am so afraid to do it!!!! Am I making sense???? I have

already

> cancelled an appiontment once for being taken off of birth control

and

> February is when I told myself and husband I would reschedule (that

would be

> an estimated 6 months from then to conceive). The bad part is that

my

> husband is SOOOO negotiable/easy to please, and he supports me in

whatever I

> decide, so he's not pushing me in any way. But I do know that he

is ready

> for them. Now, I'm chicken-butt again that the time to get rid of

my birth

> control is coming up.

>

> Can anybody relate with me?? Or tell me some SUCCESS stories of

being fit

> and exercising throughout pregnancy??

>

> Darcy who fusterates herself to death with this situation

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com