Re: pain & depression

[Guest guest]

Dearest Marie -

Please, sweet heart, find a local support group or a counselor--someone

who can help you in a very active, present way. If nothing else, speak

to your regular doctor/rheumy and see if she or he has a

recommendation.

Once, when I went through a very deep depression, I finally reached out

for help. Antidepressants and counseling help me find a more balanced

place from which I could deal with everything. At a certain point, I

was able to stop the antidepressant and move on. This, of course, won't

take the situation away; but, if you can settle and balance a little.

.. .clear the clouds in your mind a bit. . .you may very well start

seeing some light and some solutions.

God *is* with you, Marie. Sometimes, when the situation is dire, we

don't see God's presence, protection and love until after we've gone

through the storm. Then, looking back, we can see all the ways God was

right there.

Praying for you -

Prakasha

On Oct 25, 2005, at 7:41 AM, snowespi wrote:

> Good=morning to all! PLease forgive me for what I am about to write. I

> am in a very bad way. I can only imagine what my neighbors must think

> if they can hear here. I live in condos and we are connected. I can't

> keep living like this. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am being

> tortured my daughter. For being ill. For having whatever the hell i

> have. Auto-immune crap. I am so sick and tired of being sick and

> tired.

> I am tired of the hooops I have to jump throug to get good help from

> what is now a business. ANd they call themselves doctors. It make me

> sick. If I am not crazy.... I sure will be  soon. The way I feel I

> feel

> like I am losing it and am going to go insane. I am not normal. My

> behavior this morning is not mnornal. To wake up and within half and

> hour be screaming and crying. Like a breakdown or something> is that

> normal????  I need help and I don't know what to do. I am on

> prednisone

> and I think that does not effect me very well but what the heck am I

> supposed to do when I have to take it or I can't walk. The inflamation

> is so bad. I am just SO TIRED!!!!

> If there is a God where is he? Marie

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dearest Marie -

Please, sweet heart, find a local support group or a counselor--someone

who can help you in a very active, present way. If nothing else, speak

to your regular doctor/rheumy and see if she or he has a

recommendation.

Once, when I went through a very deep depression, I finally reached out

for help. Antidepressants and counseling help me find a more balanced

place from which I could deal with everything. At a certain point, I

was able to stop the antidepressant and move on. This, of course, won't

take the situation away; but, if you can settle and balance a little.

.. .clear the clouds in your mind a bit. . .you may very well start

seeing some light and some solutions.

God *is* with you, Marie. Sometimes, when the situation is dire, we

don't see God's presence, protection and love until after we've gone

through the storm. Then, looking back, we can see all the ways God was

right there.

Praying for you -

Prakasha

On Oct 25, 2005, at 7:41 AM, snowespi wrote:

> Good=morning to all! PLease forgive me for what I am about to write. I

> am in a very bad way. I can only imagine what my neighbors must think

> if they can hear here. I live in condos and we are connected. I can't

> keep living like this. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am being

> tortured my daughter. For being ill. For having whatever the hell i

> have. Auto-immune crap. I am so sick and tired of being sick and

> tired.

> I am tired of the hooops I have to jump throug to get good help from

> what is now a business. ANd they call themselves doctors. It make me

> sick. If I am not crazy.... I sure will be  soon. The way I feel I

> feel

> like I am losing it and am going to go insane. I am not normal. My

> behavior this morning is not mnornal. To wake up and within half and

> hour be screaming and crying. Like a breakdown or something> is that

> normal????  I need help and I don't know what to do. I am on

> prednisone

> and I think that does not effect me very well but what the heck am I

> supposed to do when I have to take it or I can't walk. The inflamation

> is so bad. I am just SO TIRED!!!!

> If there is a God where is he? Marie

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Beth,

I regret that I only just got to this post from you.

I know that others have said this already, but I need you to know how

deeply I appreciate that richly descriptive and deeply moving narrative

regarding your late mother. It's clear that you had a very special and

wonderful relationship with her. You must miss her terribly.

Thank you so much, Beth, for sharing with all of us this affecting

sketch of an extraordinary woman and a terrific mom (and friend and ally

and advocate, if I am reading your post correctly).

I can see where you may have gotten some of your own feisty-fighter

attitude!

Thanks,

>

> Anyone (and by 'anyone', I'm mostly referring to some physicians,

P.T.'s, etc.) who does not believe that chronic pain (as opposed to

acute pain) and depression walk hand-in-hand, has never had to live with

chronic pain. I have been calling my Pain Mgmt. doc " my hero " and " my

life-changer " for over 9 yrs. now, often in my Feisty posts. I refer to

him in those terms because he has worked long and hard researching

Flatback Syndrome (Sagital imbalance, Failed Back Syndrome,etc). I was

his first Flatback patient and as a Family Practitioner, it was an area

he was not totally familiar with. He is a credentialed Pain Mgmt.

physician but (sadly) does not " advertise " as such...for reasons that

are pretty understandable to those of us who have been labeled as

" doctor shoppers " and " drug seekers " by far too many ignorant health

care " professionals " .

>

> My doc's research into the world of Ortho, Scoliosis, Flatback

Syndrome, etc. is on-going and thorough. Over the past 9+ yrs as my

physician, he has continued to re-work my Pain Mgmt. regime as new info

becomes available. My narcotic meds and Neurontin dosages have pretty

much remained steady; but as new info becomes available regarding the

use of anti-depressants in conjunction with pain meds for chronic pain

patients, he has prescribed several anti-depressants in various dosages

for me.

>

> Each time he adds or removes a medication from my daily regime I go

back to keeping a daily Pain Diary which, to a QUALIFIED Pain Mgmt doc,

is a part of the gold standard of care. Then at my next follow-up appt.

we review the diary together...HONEST, STRAIGHT-FORWARD COMMUNICATION

between doctor, patient and family is an ESSENTIAL component of QUALITY

Pain Mgmt. I am so blessed to have found such an amazing physician...and

I tell him that as often as I can. He has worked countless hours to help

me have the quality of life that I desired. After too many years of

trying to find a QUALIFIED Pain Mgmt doc who didn't just hand out rxs

like candy, with no regard to what I WANTED and WHAT I NEEDED, I found

my medical angel...

>

> Depression, at some level, always has and always will accompany

chronic pain. It's not enough to only tell your loved ones or your best

friend that you're depressed. In order to fully battle chronic pain you

must tell your physicians ALL the " feelings " you are experiencing, not

just the level of pain you're having. Anti-depressants can help boost

the effectiveness of your narcotic meds� as well as boost your

emotional health. Don't be afraid or ashamed to talk to your health care

providers about your emotional health!! Depression plays a HUGE role in

the treatment of chronic pain...don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

TALK about it...FACE it...and TACKLE it head on!! You'll be so glad you

did!

>

> Today is the one year anniversary of my beloved Mom's passing...and

it's Easter Sunday. If you don't think I'm not dealing with a spike in

my depression today, you're not reading between the lines. She was my

first line of defense when, as a scared 16 y/o, was told I needed

surgery for Scoliosis. She has always been in my corner when it came to

battling this retched monster. When I was lying in bed for 6 mos in my

lovely Riser body cast that went from my neck to my knees, she was the

one who sat by my side as I laid on a bed pan...she was the one who

figured out how to slide me sideways in my hospital bed at home so that

she could wash my hair...she was the one who figured out that a

disposable baby diaper (which were JUST hitting the grocery stores in

1970!!) worked better as a sanitary pad for young girls in my

predicament. Inserting a tampon into her 16y/o daughter was not an

option for us, as she herself had never used one! Her biggest fear with

> tampons... " What if it gets lost 'up there', Sweetie? " , she would say

to me!! And we'd both laugh...she could ALWAYS get me to laugh through

my tears. When I gave birth to her 1st Grandchild, my son...her beloved

Grandson Danny-boy, she " felt " every stabbing pain I felt in my back.

When I was searching for a doc in 1995 who could figure out why I was

suddenly experience back pain again and " falling forward " she went to

countless appt. with me. When I found my current surgeon and Pain Mgmt

docs she wept with joy with me. She was a Warrior-mother...a kind

soul...one of the greatest blessings in my life. She understood

depression on a personal level and help me fight through mine every day

of my life. And while she surely wouldn't want me to be depressed at her

passing, I am. But she would also say, " Sweetie, if you can help others

to get the excellent care and empathetic doctors like you've been

blessed with, then you just keep those fingers of yours

> rolling over those computer keys! "

>

> So, in her memory, I wish for all of my Feisty friends to find the

quality of life that you desire...to be blessed with excellent,

empathetic, qualified care.

>

> All the best,

> Beth

>