Has anyone ever had a rheumy do this??

[Guest guest]

After over a year with RA, on a progression of drugs up to and

including a high dose of Remicade, I finally told my doc today that

I think it's time to apply for disability. (My internist has been

pushing me to do it for months, says my pain is NOT in my head and

that working full-time at a stressful job and being a single mom to

3 kids is destroying my health.) Rheumy has said before that

he'll " back me up " if I get into trouble at work, so I thought he

was behind me.

Turns out that he sees " no reason " that I can't work 40+ hours a

week. Says I'm only " using my brain " , so it doesn't matter how I

feel. Says that I have a lot of self-reported pain and fatigue, but

very few objective signs of illness. He's happy to take $3,000

every six weeks from the insurance to give me Remicade (and the

nurse gives it to 2-3 patients at a time so I'm sure he's double-

dipping on the charges), but apparently he questions whether I'm

really even that sick.

What do I do? I know, find another rheumy (I actually have an appt

in February with someone who's supposed to be very good), but I

can't exactly bring up disability at my first appointment, so this

may mean another year at work. I'm at the end of my rope -- I come

home and crawl into bed, don't eat dinner or clean up the house,

yell at the kids when they fight. Really, if this is going to be my

life, if it were just me, I wouldn't want to live anymore. I have

an obligation for my kids, I know, and I won't do anything, but

there's just nothing to look forward to anymore. I can fight the

insurance company, but not without 100% support from my doctor.

(I'm an attorney, I know that I have NO chance to win unless he

backs me up completely, and even then I'm in for a fight.)