Introducing myself

[Guest guest]

Hello all, I have been reading the most recent posts but haven't had

the heart to speak as of yet. My name is Terri, I have three

children my son is 15 and is a joy, I have a daughter who is 12 and

is driving me crazy as she should be. My youngest is going to be 11

in another 2 months and she has PDD-NOS. I have a big meeting

tomorrow at her school and as usual it is s nightmare. I don't even

have the strength to tell the story, but I will make it short. The

school doesn't agree with her diagnosis, (except they do)

confused... so am I. Her last years teacher told me that she has

not one friend and she is very isolated, the other children avoid

her etc. All the typical ASD stuff. Then at the team meeting this

same teacher said I never said that! We had a behaviorist come to

observe her in class at the school's expense, he watched her during

a very structured activity and basically said she looks fine to me.

We met in May with our lawyer and the " Team " (of fools) to discuss

summer services. You see my daughter has significant social issues

and we found a great pragmatic social skills camp. Our town doesn't

have anything like this so we wanted them to help financially...no

go. The camp cost almost $4,000. and that doesn't include travel.

We felt it was worth cashing in our meager retirement fund to send

her. This camp lasted 7 weeks which took us right up until there

were only 10 days before the start of the new school year. We

figured then school would start and all these wonderful social

programs our lawyer got the school to agree to would start at

school. Well, school started Aug. 29 we are here on Oct. 9 and they

have done nothing so far. Once again I am hearing " she looks fine

to us " . They actually tell me, well she is always smiling when we

see her. Well, then certainly if she is smiling she must not be

autistic after all..,.silly me! We are meeting tomorrow to try to

get the town to pay for an after school pragmatic social group as

well as begin all the ervices that they are now in non compliance

with. I am exhausted, I am broke and I am so very dissappointed in

the entire school system. My lawyer tells me that we would not win

a hearing to have an outside placement as her ASD is not " severe "

enough. It is severe enough to make her a social outcast but

apparently that isn't " enough " . She tells me that we would have to

pay for outside evaluators to come to the school and create reports

to the effect that she cannot get FAPE in her current placement.

The part of the story that kills me most is that I used to work in

this town's special education system and I know things your average

parent at a meeting doesn't know. I know for instance that if an

evaluator is coming in the stage is set. The situation manipulated

etc. I also know that the reason that teacher recanted her

assessment of my daughter is because she was told to. It is the

bottom line at all costs. I was asked to leave my postion for

reasons realating to the fact that I couldn't play that game. I

sided with a parent at a meetin becasue she was so clearly right.

After that my career with this town was over.

So, I am basically trying to get through this day and try not to

lunge over the table tomorrow and throttle the fools. Thanks all

for giving me this forum to vent. ANy meeting suggestions or

strategies would be helpful otherwise I will post again tomorrow and

let you know what happens.

Terri