Marie

[Guest guest]

I'm really sorry you are hurting so bad. Kids can really rip our

hearts out. Maybe because she knows what you deal with, she

distances herself because it hurts to see you suffer. Maybe she has

fears that she will inherit this disease and suffer the way you do.

Some people just can't cope with those they love being sick. It is

hard to watch a parent suffer just as it's hard for a parent to watch

a child suffer.

My comfort during times like this is the Serenity Prayer. God,

grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I

can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

What else can you do? Being depressed hurts YOU. Grief is consuming

you. I pray that God gives you strength

to live your life again and find joy. Life is what we make it. If we

dwell on the sad things in life it blinds us to the joys.

God bless you Marie. I'm praying you can find happiness.

a

On Oct 16, 2005, at 8:21 AM, snowespi wrote:

> Good Sunday to All! And a hearty welcome to all the Newbies! I just

> want to add on to 's post that this is a safe haven for those of

> us in pain that others can never understand and I do feel cared about

> and I know that I am definitely not alone. I live alone but all I have

> do do is log on and read and I am grateful for each and everyone of

> you. I still have alot of pain, physical but let me tell you that the

> emotional pain of my daughter removing herself from my life has

> left me

> feeling like a big part of me died inside. I still find myself

> pleading

> with God to please let this not be. I hope each day that she will call

> me. It's been over 4 months since I have seen her. Dealing with the

> pain from losing her, as we were so close, always,is so hard.

> Unbearable at times. I feel my heart literally hurting so much I feel

> like I could die from the grief. I will never understand how she could

> do this to me. She just recieved her PHD in immunology and she knows

> what I have to live with. She knows all to well. How could she still

> turn her back on her mother who she claimed she loved so much. Why? I

> can deal with the physical pain anyday now. The pain from my daughter

> has changed me. I don't like myself. I am existing but I am not

> living.I am breathing but I do not feel alive. I have this emptyness

> that leaves me feeling numb. I keep to myself all the time now. I am

> beyond depressed. I am like the walking dead. I have no joy. I read

> the

> funnies and I don't laugh. I sigh alot. I have no appetite. I was

> feeling so sick that my son on the west coast made me promise I'd

> go to

> the emergency room. Lucky me...staph infection! 10 days of

> antibiotics.

> I have not taken them every 8 hours as i was supposed too. I sleep

> between 16-20 hours a day. I tried. I need a miracle. I need

> something.

> I'm sorry for all of you who are going through your own nightmares. I

> sleep and i have peace. I wake up and the nightmare continues. The

> physical pain is nothing compared to the emotional pain. I know I am

> not alone. I know many of you have family who have broken your heart

> beyond belief. God help us all. I'll keep praying as that is all I can

> do. I fall on my knees and cry out to God and pour out what is left of

> my heart. I still cry myself to sleep. It's either that or I'm numb. I

> wonder when it will end. When and if I will ever feel alive again. I

> thank you all for being a part of this group as it is truly a life-

> saving support group for me and I'm sure many of you feel the same way

> about this group. This group that is now a very important part of my

> life. God bless you all. I wish for you all love, joy & peace.

> SIncerly & with blessings, Marie

>

>

>

> -- In , C <bravewmn@y...> wrote:

> >

> > Welcome to the group . I hope you will feel as welcomed asn

> comforted as I did when I joined this group. It is a safe haven for

> those of us in pain that others can never understand, and that

> makes me

> feel, understood and cared about. I hope you will find some

> suggestions from members on your RA.

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