Re: progress and a dilemma

[Guest guest]

First, make sure that she doesn't have a UTI and discuss it with the

pediatrician. Rule out other things such as diabetes, developmental delay,

neurogenic or bladder tone issues, medication side effects. Then you might

start some behavioral techniques such as timed bathroom breaks that eventually

will become second nature. I bet the anger thing is demonstrating frustration

and embarassment.

Good luck,

Bonnie

>

> Hi all,

>

> First, I wanted to share some real progress our daughter, aged 9 (almost 10)

has made. Last summer, we could not take any family vacations and had to really

plan any trips away from home as she would not use any bathroom except at home.

She has not stayed overnight anywhere except her grandparent's house in about

1.5 yrs. We just completed a wonderful overnight trip to Baltimore (only about

45 minutes from home, as we wanted a backup plan if she couldn't handle it).

She used bathrooms at the hotel, the land Science Center, and a restaurant.

She almost had a meltdown at the Science Center because I took a bag containing

her soap as well as my stuff into the bathroom, just before she had to use it.

She then lay on the floor and loudly proclaimed that she could not/would not use

that bathroom because all her stuff was " germy. " We were getting nowhere and my

frustration was rising. I realized we were not helping each other, so I told

her I would

> go down to the next level to let her dad and sister know what was happening

and then we would deal with it. Just after I got down there, she arrived, she

did use a different restroom with her dad waiting outside, and she calmed down

fairly quickly after that. The next day, she " felt sick " at the hotel and did

not want to do anything, but I suggested that this might be a combination of

anxiety and all the rich food she had been eating. She watched cable tv (which

we don't have and was probably another motivator for hanging out in the hotel)

for a while longer and then was able to go out and have a good time and even

deal with multiple changes of plans as we decided it was too nice a day to be

inside. A year or two ago, it would not have occurred to me to walk away from

her outside the museum restroom and it would not have been safe as she might

well have run away. Her anger would have escalated to rage and we would have

had to return to the hotel or

> come home. She would not have been able to deal with multiple different

bathrooms or changes of plans, and she would not have had a good time. So, this

was great progress (and a great relief for us parents).

>

> The problem we are still having is occasional bouts of daytime accidents.

They seem to come in spurts (two or three in a few days and then none for

weeks). She seems fairly unconcerned about them although she does get angry at

us (which may be a way of covering up embarrassment or upset). We do not think

she has PANDAS as she does not fit most of the typical patterns. I think we may

be detecting a pattern that they occur just before/after highly anticipated or

stressful events/transitions (this trip, the return to school after a week of

snow days, etc). She initially claimed that she was unaware of her need to go

(which could be true given how long she was holding it last summer), but has now

admitted that most often she is at least somewhat aware, but does not want to

stop what she's doing. I'm thinking this may be worse at high anxiety times

because she anticipates having more trouble with her washing. Does this make

sense to anyone else or has

> anyone else experienced this with their child?

>

> Sorry for the length of this post, but I wanted to share encouragement as well

as our current problem.

>

> (mom w/OCD, 9 yo dd w/OCD)

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, . It's good she was able to work through some things and you were all

able to enjoy parts of your getaway. I can relate. Going places was always so

difficult with Josh too, when he was younger. One of our vacations we borrowed

a camper van from my in-laws, because he couldn't be away from bathrooms.

Knowing there was a bathroom at the back of the van helped him calm down and

cope.

It really is awful how much the OCD can control them and make what should be a

happy, fun situation, into a stressful one. It sounds like you worked through

the rough moments and was still able to enjoy yourselves. Yay!

With all of Josh's bathroom issues, he never had an accident. He feared even

having a drip of urine in his underwear, and would go through multiple pairs of

underwear to get rid of the perceived, but nonexistent " drip " that OCD convinced

him was there.

I'm curious, what does her therapist think is the underlying issue causing the

accidents? Has she been checked out physically to make sure there isn't a

physical component to it? I guess I'm wondering if there could be because

Josh's bathroom issues started with a physical problem that his OCD latched onto

and it grew from there.

Hugs,

BJ

>

> Hi all,

>

> First, I wanted to share some real progress our daughter, aged 9 (almost 10)

has made. Last summer, we could not take any family vacations and had to really

plan any trips away from home as she would not use any bathroom except at home.

She has not stayed overnight anywhere except her grandparent's house in about

1.5 yrs. We just completed a wonderful overnight trip to Baltimore (only about

45 minutes from home, as we wanted a backup plan if she couldn't handle it).

She used bathrooms at the hotel, the land Science Center, and a restaurant.

She almost had a meltdown at the Science Center because I took a bag containing

her soap as well as my stuff into the bathroom, just before she had to use it.

She then lay on the floor and loudly proclaimed that she could not/would not use

that bathroom because all her stuff was " germy. " We were getting nowhere and my

frustration was rising. I realized we were not helping each other, so I told

her I would

> go down to the next level to let her dad and sister know what was happening

and then we would deal with it. Just after I got down there, she arrived, she

did use a different restroom with her dad waiting outside, and she calmed down

fairly quickly after that. The next day, she " felt sick " at the hotel and did

not want to do anything, but I suggested that this might be a combination of

anxiety and all the rich food she had been eating. She watched cable tv (which

we don't have and was probably another motivator for hanging out in the hotel)

for a while longer and then was able to go out and have a good time and even

deal with multiple changes of plans as we decided it was too nice a day to be

inside. A year or two ago, it would not have occurred to me to walk away from

her outside the museum restroom and it would not have been safe as she might

well have run away. Her anger would have escalated to rage and we would have

had to return to the hotel or

> come home. She would not have been able to deal with multiple different

bathrooms or changes of plans, and she would not have had a good time. So, this

was great progress (and a great relief for us parents).

>

> The problem we are still having is occasional bouts of daytime accidents.

They seem to come in spurts (two or three in a few days and then none for

weeks). She seems fairly unconcerned about them although she does get angry at

us (which may be a way of covering up embarrassment or upset). We do not think

she has PANDAS as she does not fit most of the typical patterns. I think we may

be detecting a pattern that they occur just before/after highly anticipated or

stressful events/transitions (this trip, the return to school after a week of

snow days, etc). She initially claimed that she was unaware of her need to go

(which could be true given how long she was holding it last summer), but has now

admitted that most often she is at least somewhat aware, but does not want to

stop what she's doing. I'm thinking this may be worse at high anxiety times

because she anticipates having more trouble with her washing. Does this make

sense to anyone else or has

> anyone else experienced this with their child?

>

> Sorry for the length of this post, but I wanted to share encouragement as well

as our current problem.

>

> (mom w/OCD, 9 yo dd w/OCD)

>

[Guest guest]

, no thoughts on the problem but HOORAY for the progress she made! It

does seem like someone else mentioned in the past their child holding off going

to the bathroom (didn't want to stop what they're doing, etc.) and it being a

problem also with lots of " accidents " but I don't recall if/how they solved it.

I could see them avoiding it if handwashing were an OC issue though.

>

> Hi all,

>

> First, I wanted to share some real progress our daughter, aged 9 (almost 10)

has made. Last summer, we could not take any family vacations and had to really

plan any trips away from home as she would not use any bathroom except at home.

She has not stayed overnight anywhere except her grandparent's house in about

1.5 yrs. We just completed a wonderful overnight trip to Baltimore (only about

45 minutes from home, as we wanted a backup plan if she couldn't handle it).

She used bathrooms at the hotel, the land Science

[Guest guest]

Oh yes. My daughter delays going to the bathroom even at home.

I notice from time to time a strong urine smell about my daughter.

My daughter is 12. No issue with UTI. She just doesn't want to

use the bathroom.

About vacations, my daughter always seem to either get sick or

trigger severe anxiety on vacations. What I have done the last 3-4

years is this ...we go out during the day on vacation from 10-3pm. We eat lunch

out but try to eat dinner in the room ( I hate this part, but sometimes we have

stayed at a residence inn and it is more comfortable). I have often picked

hotels with a resturant in it

and I will eat by myself and my husband and daughter seem to love

to stay in and watch TV. Oh boy! Well it works.

There is no way my daughter (or husband) can sustain going out

during the day and dinner two days in a row.

My husband and daughter both have coped very well with vacationing

in our RV trailer at a campground resort for a few days at a time.

This has been really fun for us. They have a sense of being home. They have

their WIFI and computers. I cook on a coleman stove (propane) outside and my

daughter helps. The RV has a bathroom and she uses it. The only issue is

probably that we have to use a public shower and she gets nervous about stuff

she thinks she sees on the floor (germs). The RV campground is close to home

(about 1.5 hours away) and it is easy to go home if one of them feels

overloaded.

I hope you have a fun summer!!!!

Pam

>

> Hi all,

>

> First, I wanted to share some real progress our daughter, aged 9 (almost 10)

has made. Last summer, we could not take any family vacations and had to really

plan any trips away from home as she would not use any bathroom except at home.

She has not stayed overnight anywhere except her grandparent's house in about

1.5 yrs. We just completed a wonderful overnight trip to Baltimore (only about

45 minutes from home, as we wanted a backup plan if she couldn't handle it).

She used bathrooms at the hotel, the land Science Center, and a restaurant.

She almost had a meltdown at the Science Center because I took a bag containing

her soap as well as my stuff into the bathroom, just before she had to use it.

She then lay on the floor and loudly proclaimed that she could not/would not use

that bathroom because all her stuff was " germy. " We were getting nowhere and my

frustration was rising. I realized we were not helping each other, so I told

her I would

> go down to the next level to let her dad and sister know what was happening

and then we would deal with it. Just after I got down there, she arrived, she

did use a different restroom with her dad waiting outside, and she calmed down

fairly quickly after that. The next day, she " felt sick " at the hotel and did

not want to do anything, but I suggested that this might be a combination of

anxiety and all the rich food she had been eating. She watched cable tv (which

we don't have and was probably another motivator for hanging out in the hotel)

for a while longer and then was able to go out and have a good time and even

deal with multiple changes of plans as we decided it was too nice a day to be

inside. A year or two ago, it would not have occurred to me to walk away from

her outside the museum restroom and it would not have been safe as she might

well have run away. Her anger would have escalated to rage and we would have

had to return to the hotel or

> come home. She would not have been able to deal with multiple different

bathrooms or changes of plans, and she would not have had a good time. So, this

was great progress (and a great relief for us parents).

>

> The problem we are still having is occasional bouts of daytime accidents.

They seem to come in spurts (two or three in a few days and then none for

weeks). She seems fairly unconcerned about them although she does get angry at

us (which may be a way of covering up embarrassment or upset). We do not think

she has PANDAS as she does not fit most of the typical patterns. I think we may

be detecting a pattern that they occur just before/after highly anticipated or

stressful events/transitions (this trip, the return to school after a week of

snow days, etc). She initially claimed that she was unaware of her need to go

(which could be true given how long she was holding it last summer), but has now

admitted that most often she is at least somewhat aware, but does not want to

stop what she's doing. I'm thinking this may be worse at high anxiety times

because she anticipates having more trouble with her washing. Does this make

sense to anyone else or has

> anyone else experienced this with their child?

>

> Sorry for the length of this post, but I wanted to share encouragement as well

as our current problem.

>

> (mom w/OCD, 9 yo dd w/OCD)

>

[Guest guest]

Public showers at campgrounds are disgusting. I don't like to think about the

what's on the floor of the shower either. lol We wear flip flops.

BJ

>

> Oh yes. My daughter delays going to the bathroom even at home.

> I notice from time to time a strong urine smell about my daughter.

> My daughter is 12. No issue with UTI. She just doesn't want to

> use the bathroom.

>

> About vacations, my daughter always seem to either get sick or

> trigger severe anxiety on vacations. What I have done the last 3-4

> years is this ...we go out during the day on vacation from 10-3pm. We eat

lunch out but try to eat dinner in the room ( I hate this part, but sometimes we

have stayed at a residence inn and it is more comfortable). I have often picked

hotels with a resturant in it

> and I will eat by myself and my husband and daughter seem to love

> to stay in and watch TV. Oh boy! Well it works.

>

> There is no way my daughter (or husband) can sustain going out

> during the day and dinner two days in a row.

>

> My husband and daughter both have coped very well with vacationing

> in our RV trailer at a campground resort for a few days at a time.

> This has been really fun for us. They have a sense of being home. They have

their WIFI and computers. I cook on a coleman stove (propane) outside and my

daughter helps. The RV has a bathroom and she uses it. The only issue is

probably that we have to use a public shower and she gets nervous about stuff

she thinks she sees on the floor (germs). The RV campground is close to home

(about 1.5 hours away) and it is easy to go home if one of them feels

overloaded.

>

> I hope you have a fun summer!!!!

>

> Pam

>

[Guest guest]

Wow! The accident thing is crazy! My daughter has been mentioning to me quite

often that she needs to change her underwear. I had no idea that could be

related. I will have to make a note of that when we go to the psychologist. If

you find more info on this please share and I will do the same!

Heidi

progress and a dilemma

Hi all,

First, I wanted to share some real progress our daughter, aged 9 (almost 10) has

made. Last summer, we could not take any family vacations and had to really plan

any trips away from home as she would not use any bathroom except at home. She

has not stayed overnight anywhere except her grandparent's house in about 1.5

yrs. We just completed a wonderful overnight trip to Baltimore (only about 45

minutes from home, as we wanted a backup plan if she couldn't handle it). She

used bathrooms at the hotel, the land Science Center, and a restaurant. She

almost had a meltdown at the Science Center because I took a bag containing her

soap as well as my stuff into the bathroom, just before she had to use it. She

then lay on the floor and loudly proclaimed that she could not/would not use

that bathroom because all her stuff was " germy. " We were getting nowhere and my

frustration was rising. I realized we were not helping each other, so I told her

I would

go down to the next level to let her dad and sister know what was happening and

then we would deal with it. Just after I got down there, she arrived, she did

use a different restroom with her dad waiting outside, and she calmed down

fairly quickly after that. The next day, she " felt sick " at the hotel and did

not want to do anything, but I suggested that this might be a combination of

anxiety and all the rich food she had been eating. She watched cable tv (which

we don't have and was probably another motivator for hanging out in the hotel)

for a while longer and then was able to go out and have a good time and even

deal with multiple changes of plans as we decided it was too nice a day to be

inside. A year or two ago, it would not have occurred to me to walk away from

her outside the museum restroom and it would not have been safe as she might

well have run away. Her anger would have escalated to rage and we would have had

to return to the hotel or

come home. She would not have been able to deal with multiple different

bathrooms or changes of plans, and she would not have had a good time. So, this

was great progress (and a great relief for us parents).

The problem we are still having is occasional bouts of daytime accidents. They

seem to come in spurts (two or three in a few days and then none for weeks). She

seems fairly unconcerned about them although she does get angry at us (which may

be a way of covering up embarrassment or upset). We do not think she has PANDAS

as she does not fit most of the typical patterns. I think we may be detecting a

pattern that they occur just before/after highly anticipated or stressful

events/transitions (this trip, the return to school after a week of snow days,

etc). She initially claimed that she was unaware of her need to go (which could

be true given how long she was holding it last summer), but has now admitted

that most often she is at least somewhat aware, but does not want to stop what

she's doing. I'm thinking this may be worse at high anxiety times because she

anticipates having more trouble with her washing. Does this make sense to anyone

else or has

anyone else experienced this with their child?

Sorry for the length of this post, but I wanted to share encouragement as well

as our current problem.

(mom w/OCD, 9 yo dd w/OCD)

=