Re: Need advice ... showers/baths ... could this be OCD?

[Guest guest]

I would get her help immediatetly. Although this may not be OCD

in the sense that she is spending excessive time in a ritual it

is definately severe anxiety and it is affecting her school attendance. It

sounds like severe anxiety and perhaps school anxiety. Both my daughter and my

niece did very similar things

(excessive grooming) to cope with school avoidance/anxiety. If your

daughter is like ours she may deny having any anxiety about school at all. You

need to get a medical excuse in place for the tardies so

she is not treated as a truant.

I would see the psychiatrist and increase not decrease the medication.

I would put a behavior plan in place. Such as if she is late

for school she loses some TV/computer or text messaging priveleges

on the days she is late. I would reward a reduction in showers

to one a day (extra computer or message time for example).

I would get her into therapy.

I would quickly contact her teachers and see if she is doing well

in classes and in the ones she is not ask for help. I would be

proactive about talking to the teacher in the class she is late

for and getting a plan for making up or excusing some work.

Ask the psychiatrist to help by getting a medical excuse for tradies until this

is better under control.

I would be very proactive so she doesn't lose any credits

or jeopardize her graduation date in anyway.

My sister in law ignored a similar situation with her 16 year

old and the girl lost credit for her classes and refused to go to

school at all. Now she is on home instruction but is so far

behind that she is considering getting a GED and quitting school.

It is upsetting how quickly things can fall apart.

My daughter too fell apart last spring. It started with

being anxious about her hair, her clothes, nothing was right.

We ended up getting her into a smaller special ed school.

She just couldn't cope with all the demands on her.

My daughter is doing better. No more grooming issues since

she started in a more supportive setting.

Best of luck getting a treatment plan in place !

Pam

>

> Hello all,

>

> My dd, age 17, is dx with anxiety and sensory processing disorder. In the

past month or so, I have noticed that she has been taking like 3 showers or

baths a day. She does not have an official OCD dx but has shown evidence of

little bouts over the years ( " just rightness " type, some intrusive thoughts,

symmetry, etc.) she has never seemed to have the contamination issues ... her

room is a mess, in fact But this worries me. Because of her sensory issues,

she has used baths to self soothe over the years ... like a nice soak, you know?

But this seems excessive.

>

> She has always had lateness and tardiness to school issues (some sensory

processing, executive function weakness) but it has gotten chronic in the last

couple of weeks, coinciding with this bath/shower thing. Adding it to the

morning routine seems to throw the lateness even worse. And of course the

lateness and missing school is increasing the anxiety level.

>

> Just not sure what this is ... she had a bout of depression right before

Christmas, was trying to wean off of 100 mg Zoloft that she has been on for 3

years but began to have severe anxiety again so is back on.

>

> She could be smoking in the shower, but I don't think so ... can't smell

anything, and sometimes its a bath, so that wouldn't dissipate smoke. Just

trying to figure this out!

>

> Anyone have any thoughts on this? I appreciate it, thanks!

> Tina

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Tina. Our son's room is a mess too, but he still dealt with contamination

issues and symmetry issues. His mess was all lying in 90 degree angles, is all.

lol OCD can be strange how it picks on thing to target, yet not another that

seems like it would be related.

3 showers or baths a day does seem excessive. Is she seeing a therapist? Was

wondering what they thought since she doesn't have an OCD diagnosis. Sure

sounds like OCD with the symmetry stuff and " just right " feelings. Did they say

she had OCD tendencies?

BJ

>

> Hello all,

>

> My dd, age 17, is dx with anxiety and sensory processing disorder. In the

past month or so, I have noticed that she has been taking like 3 showers or

baths a day. She does not have an official OCD dx but has shown evidence of

little bouts over the years ( " just rightness " type, some intrusive thoughts,

symmetry, etc.) she has never seemed to have the contamination issues ... her

room is a mess, in fact But this worries me. Because of her sensory issues,

she has used baths to self soothe over the years ... like a nice soak, you know?

But this seems excessive.

>

> She has always had lateness and tardiness to school issues (some sensory

processing, executive function weakness) but it has gotten chronic in the last

couple of weeks, coinciding with this bath/shower thing. Adding it to the

morning routine seems to throw the lateness even worse. And of course the

lateness and missing school is increasing the anxiety level.

>

> Just not sure what this is ... she had a bout of depression right before

Christmas, was trying to wean off of 100 mg Zoloft that she has been on for 3

years but began to have severe anxiety again so is back on.

>

> She could be smoking in the shower, but I don't think so ... can't smell

anything, and sometimes its a bath, so that wouldn't dissipate smoke. Just

trying to figure this out!

>

> Anyone have any thoughts on this? I appreciate it, thanks!

> Tina

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much everyone, for your input. My dh and I are just trying to put all

the pieces together. Okay, to answer everyone's questions:

Yes, she is in therapy, and has been since August (she agreed to go because we

found evidence of marijuana use, so there has been some of that as well, off and

on).

Yes, we have a not from her p-doc in place in the Assistant Principal's office

to deal with the tardies, but she is in a different first period class than in

first sememster so the new teacher doesn't know about it as yet. We pulled her

out of a class she was failing, so I thought that would " fix " the tardiness. My

dd also is VERY sensitive to having me go " handle things " in the counselor or

ap's office. She doesn't want to feel " different " .

There could be some kind of ritual there that is causing her to run so late.

She was driving herself to school at the start of the year and although she was

late at times it wasnt like this. That was more like just not having a real

good sense of how much time had passed, which could be easily remedied by

looking at a clock or her cell phone. Now I am driving her because we had to

take the car due to the substance issue, and it has gotten really bad. She will

even get up in time, so theoretically she shouldn't be having a problem. It

just takes her forever. And before she knows it, she's late. Then she won't go

to first period because she hates walking in late. AND if I say anything ... it

sets her off. Its a mess.

She mentioned one more thing to me this afternoon, and I could be reading too

much into this, but she mentioned something about not wanting to work in a

restaurant. (she's looking for an after school job, she had one working at a

restaurant last year for 7 months, so this is something she is familiar with).

Anyway, she said she didn't want to work in a restaurant because you have to

worry so much about cleanliness and washing your hands if you didn't then

someone could get sick. (I have never seen her worry about that stuff before).

Okay, that was a red flag for me, becasue I have OCD,and " hyperresponsiblity " is

something I am VERY familiar with. I had this very type of OCD when I was

pregnant with my son years ago. I was afraid of cooking something and having

someone get sick from it.

It very well could be all the stress of " looking down the barrel at college and

her future " and the reality is hitting her. I don't know. There are just so

many pieces to this, you know?

All I know is, if it IS OCD, then she needs help. specific, for this. She had

some OCD when younger, but it was never her primary dx. Hers was mostly sensory

(tactile defensiveness ... huge), anxiety (separation, then panic attacks when

she hit puberty). So there is a long history.

One more thing I want to mention... she is really isolating herself since she

lost the car. I haven't seen her go out much in those two weeks at all.

So all this combined, I dunno. She has a therapy appt. on Friday AM. Should I

try and give the therapist a heads up on this before she goes? Should we try

and talk to her? usually she has come to me with this stuff when she was

younger,but she may be embarassed or not even know what is going on.

Thanks again for listening and for all your thoughts! It helps so much...

Tina

> >

> > Hello all,

> >

> > My dd, age 17, is dx with anxiety and sensory processing disorder. In the

past month or so, I have noticed that she has been taking like 3 showers or

baths a day. She does not have an official OCD dx but has shown evidence of

little bouts over the years ( " just rightness " type, some intrusive thoughts,

symmetry, etc.) she has never seemed to have the contamination issues ... her

room is a mess, in fact But this worries me. Because of her sensory issues,

she has used baths to self soothe over the years ... like a nice soak, you know?

But this seems excessive.

> >

> > She has always had lateness and tardiness to school issues (some sensory

processing, executive function weakness) but it has gotten chronic in the last

couple of weeks, coinciding with this bath/shower thing. Adding it to the

morning routine seems to throw the lateness even worse. And of course the

lateness and missing school is increasing the anxiety level.

> >

> > Just not sure what this is ... she had a bout of depression right before

Christmas, was trying to wean off of 100 mg Zoloft that she has been on for 3

years but began to have severe anxiety again so is back on.

> >

> > She could be smoking in the shower, but I don't think so ... can't smell

anything, and sometimes its a bath, so that wouldn't dissipate smoke. Just

trying to figure this out!

> >

> > Anyone have any thoughts on this? I appreciate it, thanks!

> > Tina

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Tina,

After reading your post I had to check twice to make sure I didn't write it or

my wife too!

Been there, done that. Our dd has had a lot of issues missing school or being

late. One is due to depression and laziness and lack of self discipline (she'll

nap until 7:00, have dinner and start work at 8:00, stay up till 2 doing

homework and then bag school because she's too tired - I wonder why?). Now, I

will say that there are stressors in a kids life with OCD which beg for

perfection. In one therapy session last year, our dd confided that if she had a

choice to be late to school and look good, or be on time but not prepared, she'd

much rather show up late, but looking good, even though she missed critical

work. Kind of misses the point of school, but such is the life of OCD. Also,

she went through a phase where she took 2 hours to get ready to go to school,

which of course caused her to miss classes, and if we insisted she pick out

clothes the night before, she would. And then she'd change her outfit the next

morning. But she would empty her dresser, and between all the clothes on the

floor and in the closet, she'd literally try EVERYTHING on before deciding.

Now, that was OCD! But choosing what to wear was causing her tremendous stress

and her desire to look " perfect " was debilitating.

So say something and you get flack? And you're complaining about this as if

your kid is unique in that area? When I got home the other day I said, " Hi, I'm

glad you made it to school today on time and all day without throwing up. " I

was really commending her. Her response was, " oh give me a break, please don't

start.... "

We have real concerns on whether our dd would survive in the real world. She so

complex. So combative, yet so fragile and needy too. She hates us telling her

what to do, yet she's not responsible enough to know to do it on her own. I

think when it comes college time, she's gonna have a real hard time adjusting to

having real responsibilities. But what do we know, we've only been there and

lived it! Oh well, she'll learn the hard way!

> > >

> > > Hello all,

> > >

> > > My dd, age 17, is dx with anxiety and sensory processing disorder. In the

past month or so, I have noticed that she has been taking like 3 showers or

baths a day. She does not have an official OCD dx but has shown evidence of

little bouts over the years ( " just rightness " type, some intrusive thoughts,

symmetry, etc.) she has never seemed to have the contamination issues ... her

room is a mess, in fact But this worries me. Because of her sensory issues,

she has used baths to self soothe over the years ... like a nice soak, you know?

But this seems excessive.

> > >

> > > She has always had lateness and tardiness to school issues (some sensory

processing, executive function weakness) but it has gotten chronic in the last

couple of weeks, coinciding with this bath/shower thing. Adding it to the

morning routine seems to throw the lateness even worse. And of course the

lateness and missing school is increasing the anxiety level.

> > >

> > > Just not sure what this is ... she had a bout of depression right before

Christmas, was trying to wean off of 100 mg Zoloft that she has been on for 3

years but began to have severe anxiety again so is back on.

> > >

> > > She could be smoking in the shower, but I don't think so ... can't smell

anything, and sometimes its a bath, so that wouldn't dissipate smoke. Just

trying to figure this out!

> > >

> > > Anyone have any thoughts on this? I appreciate it, thanks!

> > > Tina

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

There are a lot of pieces to it. ((((you))))

Reading this, and having a teen (just turned 18) in the home with OCD, some of

it sure sounds like teen stuff. But, other stuff really does sound like OCD.

The lateness could be teen procrastination, or OCD. It's hard to say. You'd

have to know the motivation behind it, which as a teen she might not share with

you, but see it rather as something to become defensive over if it's brought up.

Does she share any of it with her therapist? (Sorry for more questions) Does

her therapist do CBT/ERP therapy, since her diagnosis wasn't OCD? Thinking it

might not hurt to try it on some of the issues. . But, that's assuming your

daughter will be cooperative about it. At this age, Josh has become somewhat

uncooperative about some things, but listens to his therapist better than me,

SOMETIMES. Gotta love those teenage years. lol

My first thought when you said she had been using marijuana, was

self-medicating. But, those teen years are tough too. I was a really wild

child, whose parents were busy partying themselves (young parents) so didn't

really care what me and my sisters were doing. It's easy to fall into that with

peer pressure and wanting to fit in.

We have had some of that " wanting to be treated like a grown up, but not wanting

the responsibility of it " stuff going on here too. College stuff is looming and

adulthood is hitting our son in the face and he has moments of anxiety about it

all. That's a tough time for any kid, but especially kids with anxiety already.

I've talked to Josh's therapist, giving him a head's up about stuff before going

for an appointment, knowing Josh would be upset if I brought it up in front of

him. I have to say, that worked out pretty well for us. His therapist

understands the challenges of teenagers, and the challenges of OCD, so him

knowing more about the situation, helps. Josh used to come to me with stuff

when he was younger too, but they change when they are teens. It's tough, I

know. ((((hugs to you))))

Not sure I have definitive answers. Some days I wonder if it is just a matter

of surviving this time period. lol

BJ

> > >

> > > Hello all,

> > >

> > > My dd, age 17, is dx with anxiety and sensory processing disorder. In the

past month or so, I have noticed that she has been taking like 3 showers or

baths a day. She does not have an official OCD dx but has shown evidence of

little bouts over the years ( " just rightness " type, some intrusive thoughts,

symmetry, etc.) she has never seemed to have the contamination issues ... her

room is a mess, in fact But this worries me. Because of her sensory issues,

she has used baths to self soothe over the years ... like a nice soak, you know?

But this seems excessive.

> > >

> > > She has always had lateness and tardiness to school issues (some sensory

processing, executive function weakness) but it has gotten chronic in the last

couple of weeks, coinciding with this bath/shower thing. Adding it to the

morning routine seems to throw the lateness even worse. And of course the

lateness and missing school is increasing the anxiety level.

> > >

> > > Just not sure what this is ... she had a bout of depression right before

Christmas, was trying to wean off of 100 mg Zoloft that she has been on for 3

years but began to have severe anxiety again so is back on.

> > >

> > > She could be smoking in the shower, but I don't think so ... can't smell

anything, and sometimes its a bath, so that wouldn't dissipate smoke. Just

trying to figure this out!

> > >

> > > Anyone have any thoughts on this? I appreciate it, thanks!

> > > Tina

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

fundudefundad,

Your dd sounds JUST like ours! I read your post and was just flabbergasted! The

late naps, weird sleep, not going to school because of anxiety, or because she

didn't want to walk in late (after trying on 6 different shirts or God knows

what!) This dressing thing is getting worse the last month or so, but due to

tactile defensiveness it was MUCH worse when she was little. We had a

" tardiness waiver " in place for her all during elementary school just for that.

Unfortunately, we are now dealing with high school and a different district.

Although they have been very patient with the tardiness and absences due to her

p-doc's note, it really is affecting her grades and in the back of my mind I

" know " they could send us to truancy court if they get fed up. I wish I had a

nickel for every person who told us she just needed to learn how to manage her

time. I wish it were that easy! To top it off, she has NO INTERNAL SENSE OF

TIME. So she can't tell if 5 minutes or 15 have passed. Its hard.

And now I think her ocd is flaring, so as I said, the clothing has gotten worse.

Even with the time issue, she still could get ready in 30-45 minutes. Just

regular routine. Now for some reason, its like an hour to hour and a half.

She's only made it to first period ONCE this week.

Sigh. My dh and I do have worries about her surviving in the " real world " . I

hear you on ALL of it ... the thinking she knows better, wanting responsibility

yet not knowing what to do with it, and the 'tude.

Well, hang in there! Good to know one is not alone in this!!

Take care,

Tina

> > > >

> > > > Hello all,

> > > >

> > > > My dd, age 17, is dx with anxiety and sensory processing disorder. In

the past month or so, I have noticed that she has been taking like 3 showers or

baths a day. She does not have an official OCD dx but has shown evidence of

little bouts over the years ( " just rightness " type, some intrusive thoughts,

symmetry, etc.) she has never seemed to have the contamination issues ... her

room is a mess, in fact But this worries me. Because of her sensory issues,

she has used baths to self soothe over the years ... like a nice soak, you know?

But this seems excessive.

> > > >

> > > > She has always had lateness and tardiness to school issues (some sensory

processing, executive function weakness) but it has gotten chronic in the last

couple of weeks, coinciding with this bath/shower thing. Adding it to the

morning routine seems to throw the lateness even worse. And of course the

lateness and missing school is increasing the anxiety level.

> > > >

> > > > Just not sure what this is ... she had a bout of depression right before

Christmas, was trying to wean off of 100 mg Zoloft that she has been on for 3

years but began to have severe anxiety again so is back on.

> > > >

> > > > She could be smoking in the shower, but I don't think so ... can't smell

anything, and sometimes its a bath, so that wouldn't dissipate smoke. Just

trying to figure this out!

> > > >

> > > > Anyone have any thoughts on this? I appreciate it, thanks!

> > > > Tina

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow Tina - we are similar! When we approached the school with this, they are

sympathetic. But sometimes we want them to be hard because she's lazy, and not

excuse the tardiness. But they simply won't do it, and tell us that it should

be handled at home. I can't say I blame them. So she knows that they won't do

anything if she's late or has 20 unexcused tardys in a quarter and she's even

said, " yeah, I was supposed to have detention, but they never said anything " .

So she takes advantage of it. There's the 'tude!

> > > > >

> > > > > Hello all,

> > > > >

> > > > > My dd, age 17, is dx with anxiety and sensory processing disorder. In

the past month or so, I have noticed that she has been taking like 3 showers or

baths a day. She does not have an official OCD dx but has shown evidence of

little bouts over the years ( " just rightness " type, some intrusive thoughts,

symmetry, etc.) she has never seemed to have the contamination issues ... her

room is a mess, in fact But this worries me. Because of her sensory issues,

she has used baths to self soothe over the years ... like a nice soak, you know?

But this seems excessive.

> > > > >

> > > > > She has always had lateness and tardiness to school issues (some

sensory processing, executive function weakness) but it has gotten chronic in

the last couple of weeks, coinciding with this bath/shower thing. Adding it to

the morning routine seems to throw the lateness even worse. And of course the

lateness and missing school is increasing the anxiety level.

> > > > >

> > > > > Just not sure what this is ... she had a bout of depression right

before Christmas, was trying to wean off of 100 mg Zoloft that she has been on

for 3 years but began to have severe anxiety again so is back on.

> > > > >

> > > > > She could be smoking in the shower, but I don't think so ... can't

smell anything, and sometimes its a bath, so that wouldn't dissipate smoke.

Just trying to figure this out!

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyone have any thoughts on this? I appreciate it, thanks!

> > > > > Tina

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Actually that's the case in our school too. Unexcused tardys and absences are

met with detention too. Unfortunately, the county ran out of money to pay

teachers to work on weekends and after school, so they simply got sent to " study

hall " instead of their first period . Yeah, big deal! Especially since it gave

kids a chance to work on homework they didn't complete. So, it's almost like a

blessing in disguise!

I mentioned this in another post, but our school is and has been on board with

her situation. And they say the same thing your school did, and you did, and we

do too. We hoped detention would act as a deterrent, but it doesn't. When she

was having to go to school on Saturday for detention (when they had money),

she'd show up late to detention, and just took it in stride. It wasn't punitive

at all for her. So the school admin says that if it's not a deterrent, which it

should be for most kids, then there's no sense in forcing it. She'll have to

learn it through her own failures, which so far isn't working either!

FD

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Hello all,

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > My dd, age 17, is dx with anxiety and sensory processing disorder.

In the past month or so, I have noticed that she has been taking like 3 showers

or baths a day. She does not have an official OCD dx but has shown evidence of

little bouts over the years ( " just rightness " type, some intrusive thoughts,

symmetry, etc.) she has never seemed to have the contamination issues ... her

room is a mess, in fact But this worries me. Because of her sensory issues,

she has used baths to self soothe over the years ... like a nice soak, you know?

But this seems excessive.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > She has always had lateness and tardiness to school issues (some

sensory processing, executive function weakness) but it has gotten chronic in

the last couple of weeks, coinciding with this bath/shower thing. Adding it to

the morning routine seems to throw the lateness even worse. And of course the

lateness and missing school is increasing the anxiety level.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Just not sure what this is ... she had a bout of depression right

before Christmas, was trying to wean off of 100 mg Zoloft that she has been on

for 3 years but began to have severe anxiety again so is back on.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > She could be smoking in the shower, but I don't think so ... can't

smell anything, and sometimes its a bath, so that wouldn't dissipate smoke.

Just trying to figure this out!

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Anyone have any thoughts on this? I appreciate it, thanks!

> > > > > > > Tina

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>