Guest guest Posted July 18, 2006 Report Share Posted July 18, 2006 Hi Debi, When my ex-husband and I split up my daughter had just turned six. We sold the family home, and she moved with me to another place and her Dad moved to a townhouse. I wrote a social story entitled " The Changes " and detailed what would be happening when, focusing on her perspective and the concrete details she needed. ( " On Tuesday, December 17, we will say good-bye to _____ (old address). You will visit and stay with Grandma for two days and two nights. On Thursday, December 19 Grandma will bring you to your new house at __ ( new address).Etc Etc. I wrote about Dad having a new house where she would be able to visit him, that she would have a bedroom on both places, etc. I never mentioned divorce or anything like it. She didn't need it and wouldn't have gotten it.(Still doesn't, actually.) I made sure school had a copy of the story and we all read it to her over and over. And she did fine with it all. I made sure to have her room set up as much as I possible could, and had her toys out. I think that was important. And....we'd been working on toilet training for years, started when she was three. She was very fixed on her potty and would not use the toilet. The bathroom in the new place was very tiny and her potty actually wouldn't fit! So I took a leap of faith and told her the new house had no potty and that she would use the toilet. Got a tiny pink stepstool for her and......it worked! I know it sounds like a lot for her to handle, but she accepted that the new house simply had no potty, and so after the move we were all done with potty! All in all she adjusted very well. I know the kids are all different, but I would just recommend preparing her as best you can and then have faith that she'll handle it. HTH, Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2006 Report Share Posted July 18, 2006 We're planning on moving from our house in a couple of years. This is the home we lived in with each of the girls' birth, so they don't know any different. How to we address the moving issue? We've considered moving into a trailer on some land while we build our house. I'm wondering if we should make sure we have Allie's room fully finished before moving, to make the transition more easy, but then I've read other families that have kids with autism moving multiple times. Thanks for any advice/suggestions. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2006 Report Share Posted July 18, 2006 Debi: We moved when our daughter was six. Immediately before and after the move we and her teacher (she attended the same school despite the move) both noticed an increased awareness for a time. The teacher had seen that when there is some major change in a child's life, some of them react by " paying attention " ...It's as though they have been coasting in their own world and suddenly things are not the same as they were so they figure they'd better be looking around a bit more and taking stock of the situation. The teacher said that other events such as a divorce, death in the family, taking in another family member such as a grandparent, a parent's change in schedule, could all trigger this reaction. That was our experience...nothing really negative...hope this helps. Joan how does moving affect someone with autism? We're planning on moving from our house in a couple of years. This is the home we lived in with each of the girls' birth, so they don't know any different. How to we address the moving issue? We've considered moving into a trailer on some land while we build our house. I'm wondering if we should make sure we have Allie's room fully finished before moving, to make the transition more easy, but then I've read other families that have kids with autism moving multiple times. Thanks for any advice/suggestions. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2006 Report Share Posted July 18, 2006 That's really interesting. I've noticed the same thing in me, particularly driving in a different town. It's like I'm so used to where the traffic lights are, turns, etc, that I don't even think about driving that much. But put me in a new area where I'm unfamiliar and suddenly I'm aware of everything. Debi > > Debi: > We moved when our daughter was six. Immediately before and after the move we and her teacher (she attended the same school despite the move) both noticed an increased awareness for a time. The teacher had seen that when there is some major change in a child's life, some of them react by " paying attention " ...It's as though they have been coasting in their own world and suddenly things are not the same as they were so they figure they'd better be looking around a bit more and taking stock of the situation. The teacher said that other events such as a divorce, death in the family, taking in another family member such as a grandparent, a parent's change in schedule, could all trigger this reaction. That was our experience...nothing really negative...hope this helps. > Joan > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 I loved this post - paying attention! So cool and gave me more insight to my Amazing (our 16 year old daughter). We moved when was 4. Only across town, still a move. The children were involved of course in the " looking and inspecting " of the new house. We needed/wanted their approval. also watched Barney (still does), and of course there is a show/video about moving and being a " new kid " , very helpful. The Berenstain Bears have a book I think called Moving Day. We bought a copy but the moving company also provided the book. That was so thoughtful! Living in a trailer for a period of time sounds like a grand adventure! Imagine the sound of the rain on the trailer, so different than the sound we hear when it rains on the house. When in the 'new house' all of 's 'things' of course were there. She was comfortable. After awhile in the house we changed curtains. Now that presented some discomfort! Didn't like curtains being changed. Now helps shop for 'new curtains'. Best to all and may all of some moments of joy today. In a message dated 7/19/2006 1:06:47 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, fightingautism@... writes: That's really interesting. I've noticed the same thing in me, particularly driving in a different town. It's like I'm so used to where the traffic lights are, turns, etc, that I don't even think about driving that much. But put me in a new area where I'm unfamiliar and suddenly I'm aware of everything. Debi > > Debi: > We moved when our daughter was six. Immediately before and after the move we and her teacher (she attended the same school despite the move) both noticed an increased awareness for a time. The teacher had seen that when there is some major change in a child's life, some of them react by " paying attention " ..them react by " paying attention " .. coasting in their own world and suddenly things are not the same as they were so they figure they'd better be looking around a bit more and taking stock of the situation. The teacher said that other events such as a divorce, death in the family, taking in another family member such as a grandparent, a parent's change in schedule, could all trigger this reaction. That was our experience..trigger this reacti negative...hope this helps. > Joan > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 Hi Debi and everyone! I hardly post...but I had to on this one...I recently moved (about a year and a half ago) and I did some of the same things for my daughter Destiney...we set up her room ahead of time, but there were some big changes for her...she was now on the lower level in the house (she was used to the second level) and I had bought her new curtains and the carpeting of course was different...she inspected everything carefully and after a few hours she decided it was ok! lol I tried to keep the setup of her room basically the same as well and I think that helps too. We also had brought her to the new house a couple of times a week before we moved and that seemed to help also. She was well adjusted after week or so. It is a little different with Destiney because she has other issues as well ( a degree of mental retardation and is non-verbal). I hope this helps some. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 the new house was of a whole new experience that needed time to develop routine and same too, but once that was established it was the sudden change of curtains that maked it be to cause fear of the changes. I to be of same. not like changes of unexpected. Sondra In Autism_in_Girls , DFabio7450@... wrote: > > > I loved this post - paying attention! So cool and gave me more insight to > my Amazing (our 16 year old daughter). We moved when was 4. > Only across town, still a move. The children were involved of course in the > " looking and inspecting " of the new house. We needed/wanted their approval. > also watched Barney (still does), and of course there is a show/video > about moving and being a " new kid " , very helpful. The Berenstain Bears have > a book I think called Moving Day. > We bought a copy but the moving company also provided the book. That was so > thoughtful! Living in a trailer for a period of time sounds like a grand > adventure! Imagine the sound of the rain on the trailer, so different than the > sound we hear when it rains on the house. > When in the 'new house' all of 's 'things' of course were there. She > was comfortable. After awhile in the house we changed curtains. Now that > presented some discomfort! Didn't like curtains being changed. Now > helps shop for 'new curtains'. Best to all and may all of some moments of joy > today. > > In a message dated 7/19/2006 1:06:47 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, > fightingautism@... writes: > > > > > That's really interesting. I've noticed the same thing in me, > particularly driving in a different town. It's like I'm so used to > where the traffic lights are, turns, etc, that I don't even think > about driving that much. But put me in a new area where I'm unfamiliar > and suddenly I'm aware of everything. > > Debi > > > > > > Debi: > > We moved when our daughter was six. Immediately before and after > the move we and her teacher (she attended the same school despite the > move) both noticed an increased awareness for a time. The teacher had > seen that when there is some major change in a child's life, some of > them react by " paying attention " ..them react by " paying attention " .. > coasting in their own world and suddenly things are not the same as > they were so they figure they'd better be looking around a bit more > and taking stock of the situation. The teacher said that other events > such as a divorce, death in the family, taking in another family > member such as a grandparent, a parent's change in schedule, could all > trigger this reaction. That was our experience..trigger this reacti > negative...hope this helps. > > Joan > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 Dear Debi, We moved from the only home knew when she was 5. I got a picture of the new home and put it at the top of a small poster board and made a calendar under it. She got to cross of the days each morning (or night…can’t remember as she’s 17 now LOL). I kept telling her we were moving to the “new house”. After we put our bid on the home, we explained my daughter’s autism to the owners and they allowed us to bring down to visit her “new home” . This really seemed to help her prepare for the move and she surprised us by adapting well. However, for many years after that, come the end of August, which was the month we moved, would get the regular calendar off the wall, bring it in to me and ask if we were moving to “another new house.” LOL _____ From: Autism_in_Girls [mailto:Autism_in_Girls ] On Behalf Of Debi Sent: Tuesday, July 18, 2006 4:31 PM To: Autism_in_Girls Subject: how does moving affect someone with autism? We're planning on moving from our house in a couple of years. This is the home we lived in with each of the girls' birth, so they don't know any different. How to we address the moving issue? We've considered moving into a trailer on some land while we build our house. I'm wondering if we should make sure we have Allie's room fully finished before moving, to make the transition more easy, but then I've read other families that have kids with autism moving multiple times. Thanks for any advice/suggestions. Debi -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.10.1/391 - Release Date: 7/18/2006 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.10.1/391 - Release Date: 7/18/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 , at least she will allow curtains! We have very little, Allie likes to rip ours off the walls. <sigh> Debi > > > > Debi: > > We moved when our daughter was six. Immediately before and after > the move we and her teacher (she attended the same school despite the > move) both noticed an increased awareness for a time. The teacher had > seen that when there is some major change in a child's life, some of > them react by " paying attention " ..them react by " paying attention " .. > coasting in their own world and suddenly things are not the same as > they were so they figure they'd better be looking around a bit more > and taking stock of the situation. The teacher said that other events > such as a divorce, death in the family, taking in another family > member such as a grandparent, a parent's change in schedule, could all > trigger this reaction. That was our experience..trigger this reacti > negative...hope this helps. > > Joan > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2006 Report Share Posted July 21, 2006 I think it is best for kids to visit grandparents for a day and move all their toys first, setting up their rooms first and making sure the essential parts of their routine are available. My kids always needed to check and make sure all their stuff made the move. Nadine how does moving affect someone with autism? We're planning on moving from our house in a couple of years. This is the home we lived in with each of the girls' birth, so they don't know any different. How to we address the moving issue? We've considered moving into a trailer on some land while we build our house. I'm wondering if we should make sure we have Allie's room fully finished before moving, to make the transition more easy, but then I've read other families that have kids with autism moving multiple times. Thanks for any advice/suggestions. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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