question on sexual abuse

[Guest guest]

Sondra, thanks for your post. I am so saddened that you and the others

have had such terrible trauma in your lives. And I know I need to be vigilant to

protect my daughter. She is so vulnerable.

I hope you feel safe on this list.

Melinda

[Guest guest]

I to be to share that not all offenders are males, some are of

females too. but in my case it was of the mothers father who not

only be to molested 3 of hims 4 daughers but 17 of hims 21 grand

daughers foster gilrs and neighbor girls and no one did anything

about it even though it was an known issues among the family for

year but none protected the next generations. i to found though that

I was to be the only one acutally raped repeatedly because lacked

ability to tell and not had words , was believed to be metnally ill

so no one was to belive of me anyways. when finally was able to tell

around the ate of 13 or so the mother to telled me that is just want

old me do..... it caused me toe be fearful of all old men because it

got imprinted as true fact of knowing for me.

One can try to protect but often preditors are smarter and can play

of the tricks to not ever be of suspect in the families at all this

is why so many children fall prey to the sexual preditors and thos

with disabilities are more at risk over all. this july will be

speaking on a panel and my topic is sexuality and gender that leads

to vulnerability.. it is the first time i to be to speak on this

topic in a public view.

How to protect i to lack but I to also know there can be signs one

has to be of cautions too, they can be similar to typical girls in

the reaction but more pervasively and odd such as like for me

suddenly refusing to get out of the car when arriving at the

offenders home. more pacing and more anxiety when they hear or see

or smell the offender near the evirnoment. more constant checking to

see where the offender is in relation to them in the setting./

sudden seeming to be paranoid of the person. acting out behaivors to

get removed from the setting. wetting self even though past been of

toileted, odd words of things that are being echoed but not

understood in contexts but seems out of place and odd. Such as me

the echoed word do not be to speak or god will kill of the grandma,

was an echoed phrase but they felt it was because thier beleif that

I was to be mentally ill and saying fearful words out of mental

illness not understood as echoed words. Not understaning a sudden

change in actions such as use to be of calm and play but now

agitated often within the setting. touching or holding self much

more. Now this was not the case for self but some may lack a fear

and if at a certain age my find the sexual pleasure of it all not

understsning a social barrier and actually be drawn to seek out

sexual things from the preditor such as the case of some i to know

from sexual abuse issues. For me I to be to ahve a strong aversion

to sexuality and such even now as adult. which is the hardest

challegne within the marriage of me.

Sondra