Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 , it's very common and normal to feel urges stronger at times than others. If you track your menstrul cycles you might find that these feelings are happening at the same point during your cycle each month. When females ovulate (release the ovum into the fallopian tubes) we are often very attracted and desire relations. It's a basic bodily function. Also, people with autism have abnormal responses to various neurotransmitters. Gratification from sex releases specific chemicals, as well as urges to have sex. It would only make sense that you feel overwhelming urges or nothing. Also, if you are taking an SSRI, it's very common to have the inability to experience gratification. It's possible other medications could interfere with this as well, that's one that is more commonly prescribed and discussed as a side effect. As to another posting about your hubby, I'm not sure, I check from the site and don't recall reading it. HTH, Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 The waxing and waning of desire is definitely hormonal and happens to all of us. I'm a little confused about how the sexual urge question comes into play with bisexuality. Do you have a sexual attraction to other women that makes you think you may be bisexual? Have you spoken to your husband about these feelings? He may be able to give you some guidance that we are unable to give simply by virtue of your intimate relationship with him. Also, you say you don't want to buy a book but have you ever thought of buying one at Amazon.com where you don't have to take it to a sales clerk to pay for it? Diane ('s Mom) embarassing question I have avoided asking this because it is very embarrassing topic. However, the occurrence of these incidents is more a problem than the topic itself. I do ask that whoever answers this question be calm, sympathetic and sensitive. This is hard for me to ask. Ok, so here it goes. I seem to have this problem with sexual attraction. It is either all on full force or all gone. I have times where the drive to need and want sexual activity is so great that it is almost impossible to ignore, but then there are times when I really want to be with my husband and I can't get anything to cooperate. Does anyone else have this problem that is on the spectrum? Sometimes I am confused if maybe I am bisexual, but there is no consistency. Is there a way to control the urges that come at the wrong times? Can I save that feeling for later? I want to enjoy these good feelings but I am finding it so hard to know how. Any suggestions? Please don't recommend a book. I am not sure I could handle buying a book or even seeing a book about this stuff. Just some suggestions would be good now. Also, did anyone get my last post about helping my husband? I didn't get any responses so I wonder if it posted at all. Nadine Autism_in_Girls-subscribe ------------------------ Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 I'm not on the spectrum, but I have been through the same thing. Actually, my husband has too...for a while, it seemed like we were never both up to it at the same time, which was very frustrating for both of us. One thing that helped me even things out was going on birth control. I don't know if that would help you or not, but you could ask your dr about it. What helped my husband was starting an antianxiety medication (he's now on Zoloft). Overall it decreased his desire to get started, but can actually follow through once we do start. Now I am pregnant, so that totally messes up all hormones/sexual urges, etc. Amnesty > > I have avoided asking this because it is very embarrassing topic. > However, the occurrence of these incidents is more a problem than > the topic itself. I do ask that whoever answers this question be > calm, sympathetic and sensitive. This is hard for me to ask. > > Ok, so here it goes. I seem to have this problem with sexual > attraction. It is either all on full force or all gone. I have > times where the drive to need and want sexual activity is so great > that it is almost impossible to ignore, but then there are times > when I really want to be with my husband and I can't get anything to > cooperate. > > Does anyone else have this problem that is on the spectrum? > Sometimes I am confused if maybe I am bisexual, but there is no > consistency. Is there a way to control the urges that come at the > wrong times? Can I save that feeling for later? > > I want to enjoy these good feelings but I am finding it so hard to > know how. Any suggestions? Please don't recommend a book. I am > not sure I could handle buying a book or even seeing a book about > this stuff. Just some suggestions would be good now. > > Also, did anyone get my last post about helping my husband? I > didn't get any responses so I wonder if it posted at all. > > Nadine > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 Well, if bisexual is the issue it could explain the problem with urges and why I was never interested in dating like other kids my age (in high school). I don't like dresses or high heals and I refuse to carry a purse. I have a trifold wallet in my back pocket. I never notice " cute guys " like my sisters and I hate having a girl's time out because I prefer the company of men. I do not like soap operas, perfume, make-up or hair stuff. I work on my car, like to look at tools at Sears and I suck at anything domestic. Other than being physically attracted to my husband, I have no other feminine qualities. I guess this makes me think I am Bisexual. Maybe I am not but I am really confused about the subject. I told Tim I thought I was but this was long ago before we knew of the autism. Maybe we need to talk of it again. But our relationship is starting to improve a little and I don't want to add another weight to the back. I will think about the book. Nadine embarassing question I have avoided asking this because it is very embarrassing topic. However, the occurrence of these incidents is more a problem than the topic itself. I do ask that whoever answers this question be calm, sympathetic and sensitive. This is hard for me to ask. Ok, so here it goes. I seem to have this problem with sexual attraction. It is either all on full force or all gone. I have times where the drive to need and want sexual activity is so great that it is almost impossible to ignore, but then there are times when I really want to be with my husband and I can't get anything to cooperate. Does anyone else have this problem that is on the spectrum? Sometimes I am confused if maybe I am bisexual, but there is no consistency. Is there a way to control the urges that come at the wrong times? Can I save that feeling for later? I want to enjoy these good feelings but I am finding it so hard to know how. Any suggestions? Please don't recommend a book. I am not sure I could handle buying a book or even seeing a book about this stuff. Just some suggestions would be good now. Also, did anyone get my last post about helping my husband? I didn't get any responses so I wonder if it posted at all. Nadine Autism_in_Girls- <mailto:Autism_in_Girls-subscribe%40yahoogroups.com> subscribe ------------------------ Autism_in_Girls- <mailto:Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe%40yahoogroups.com> unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 I am currently on no meds. To be honest I was basically loosely diagnosed and then dropped. I can't find therapy I can afford or that is covered by insurance and since I do not have the comprehensive testing yet, I am out of the aid loop. This is why I can never respond to the posts about education, treatments or meds because I don't have anything. I spend hours trying to teach myself from books how to overcome my autism while doctors do nothing and my marriage falls apart. I am so lonely in my autism that I feel I can be lost to it soon. I call doctors and they ask " are you having thoughts about ending your life? " and once I say no, I am booted to another waiting list. I am hiding inside of me with so many questions I can't ask and so frustrated that I can't get any help I can afford. We declared bankruptcy and Tim and I both now work 2 jobs. My jobs are both part time because I get so stressed. Anyhow, I think I may be rambling. People say since I am autistic I am broken. I am not broken. I am disassembled and lost the instructions. I am lonely in Georgia. Nadine Re: embarassing question , it's very common and normal to feel urges stronger at times than others. If you track your menstrul cycles you might find that these feelings are happening at the same point during your cycle each month. When females ovulate (release the ovum into the fallopian tubes) we are often very attracted and desire relations. It's a basic bodily function. Also, people with autism have abnormal responses to various neurotransmitters. Gratification from sex releases specific chemicals, as well as urges to have sex. It would only make sense that you feel overwhelming urges or nothing. Also, if you are taking an SSRI, it's very common to have the inability to experience gratification. It's possible other medications could interfere with this as well, that's one that is more commonly prescribed and discussed as a side effect. As to another posting about your hubby, I'm not sure, I check from the site and don't recall reading it. HTH, Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 , most of the " girly " things you do not prefer are sensory issues. heels can mess up our vestibular systems (not to mention hurt our backs and feet), purses are something we must consciously keep up with. If you're overloaded sensory-wise, that's another annoyance. As to prefering men, they are easier socially. Again, soap operas are a social thing. Perfume, makeup, and hair stuff are all sensory. Working on cars is concrete. If you fear social situations, working on a car is a very preferable activity, and it has a logical consequence, to provide you with transportation. All of these things don't make you gay. If you were bisexual, you'd have a sexual desire to be with a woman. A lot of girly stuff is just too annoying to deal with, but that doesn't make you less of or not a woman. HTH, Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 , you going to be at the CDC Rally? I'm planning on being there, maybe we could meet. Debi > > I am currently on no meds. To be honest I was basically loosely diagnosed > and then dropped. I can't find therapy I can afford or that is covered by > insurance and since I do not have the comprehensive testing yet, I am out of > the aid loop. This is why I can never respond to the posts about education, > treatments or meds because I don't have anything. I spend hours trying to > teach myself from books how to overcome my autism while doctors do nothing > and my marriage falls apart. I am so lonely in my autism that I feel I can > be lost to it soon. I call doctors and they ask " are you having thoughts > about ending your life? " and once I say no, I am booted to another waiting > list. I am hiding inside of me with so many questions I can't ask and so > frustrated that I can't get any help I can afford. We declared bankruptcy > and Tim and I both now work 2 jobs. My jobs are both part time because I > get so stressed. > > > > Anyhow, I think I may be rambling. People say since I am autistic I am > broken. I am not broken. I am disassembled and lost the instructions. > > > > I am lonely in Georgia. > > > > Nadine > > > > Re: embarassing question > > > > , it's very common and normal to feel urges stronger at times > than others. If you track your menstrul cycles you might find that > these feelings are happening at the same point during your cycle each > month. When females ovulate (release the ovum into the fallopian > tubes) we are often very attracted and desire relations. It's a basic > bodily function. Also, people with autism have abnormal responses to > various neurotransmitters. Gratification from sex releases specific > chemicals, as well as urges to have sex. It would only make sense that > you feel overwhelming urges or nothing. > > Also, if you are taking an SSRI, it's very common to have the > inability to experience gratification. It's possible other medications > could interfere with this as well, that's one that is more commonly > prescribed and discussed as a side effect. > > As to another posting about your hubby, I'm not sure, I check from the > site and don't recall reading it. > > HTH, > Debi > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 Not being " girly " is not what makes you bisexual. Lots of straight women are not girly. Plenty of gay or bi women ARE girly. I suck at housework too. What makes you bisexual is being sexually attracked to women and men. IF you are sexually attracted to men and women, you may be bisexual, and that is ok. But you need to talk to someone about it, especially your husband. Amnesty > > Well, if bisexual is the issue it could explain the problem with urges and > why I was never interested in dating like other kids my age (in high > school). I don't like dresses or high heals and I refuse to carry a purse. > I have a trifold wallet in my back pocket. I never notice " cute guys " like > my sisters and I hate having a girl's time out because I prefer the company > of men. I do not like soap operas, perfume, make-up or hair stuff. I work > on my car, like to look at tools at Sears and I suck at anything domestic. > Other than being physically attracted to my husband, I have no other > feminine qualities. I guess this makes me think I am Bisexual. Maybe I am > not but I am really confused about the subject. > > > > I told Tim I thought I was but this was long ago before we knew of the > autism. Maybe we need to talk of it again. But our relationship is > starting to improve a little and I don't want to add another weight to the > back. > > > > I will think about the book. > > > > Nadine > > > > embarassing question > > I have avoided asking this because it is very embarrassing topic. > However, the occurrence of these incidents is more a problem than > the topic itself. I do ask that whoever answers this question be > calm, sympathetic and sensitive. This is hard for me to ask. > > Ok, so here it goes. I seem to have this problem with sexual > attraction. It is either all on full force or all gone. I have > times where the drive to need and want sexual activity is so great > that it is almost impossible to ignore, but then there are times > when I really want to be with my husband and I can't get anything to > cooperate. > > Does anyone else have this problem that is on the spectrum? > Sometimes I am confused if maybe I am bisexual, but there is no > consistency. Is there a way to control the urges that come at the > wrong times? Can I save that feeling for later? > > I want to enjoy these good feelings but I am finding it so hard to > know how. Any suggestions? Please don't recommend a book. I am > not sure I could handle buying a book or even seeing a book about > this stuff. Just some suggestions would be good now. > > Also, did anyone get my last post about helping my husband? I > didn't get any responses so I wonder if it posted at all. > > Nadine > > Autism_in_Girls- <mailto:Autism_in_Girls-subscribe% 40yahoogroups.com> > subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls- <mailto:Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe% 40yahoogroups.com> > unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 many on spectrum struggle with the gender things if one cant understand their gender well they cant relate to it. and if cant relate to own gender how is it expected for us to be to understand teh roles of others genders. I to be ever so much like all you shared as no physical or sexual attraction to anythings. I to ahve no sex drive as they call it at all. it is much work for the husband to get me to a place where can be intimate with him. it is my brain cant switch gears to that place easily. I to also have many sensory things that interfer. I to be honest could go all of life forever and ewver with no sex and be content as never have a desire or thinking for it, part is of my past but other parts is of my development is not at a place where sexuality is of a place of development in me yet, it is like my body and brain is of a very young child who has no interest or knowing of that and so never seeks it. I to also never carry purse, do make ups , do hair , and I to be to carry my things in my pockets too or a carry like bag if need of one for too many things needed for me that day. Can wear a dress/skirt and so like of them but struggle to find of the ones I to like that are not to over stimulating in patterns is stretchy is long because if not will forget to sit nicely and it might be to show things that is of rude so it has to be long. I to not wear of hose things with them as that is too overwhelming but often wear of socks and white soft tennis shoes with them. I to not like binding clothes i to prefer cotton stretchy like pants or shorts, sweat pants are the best if they are soft and not bunch up into small little itchy balls inside the material inside to my skin, I to love bib over alls most because they do not bind of me and they have of much pockets for me to carry important things to need to carry. I to be of able to clean much so well but often not motivated much because with 4 kids it get destroyed as fast as I to clean and so it does not motivate of me to be to do it consistently now. I to not be to know how to do cars. I to never be to do much strong gender things of either female or male. I to often say I to have of a " ME " gender which is just the essences of me without any gender boundaries or set rules because lack them. I to be in all honest cant tell of a person by seeing alone if they are of male or female. to me all females in my family married of males so it was a thing that was just modeled in an odd way which dictated to me of marriage to male. i to relate to males more in all aspects of my life but often if they are old they terrrify of me and not want them near of me. Because as shared the first script about old men were to be of this is what old men do and that can never be srased from my brain and places me to caution mode of all men how are of to me in my vision old or greying. One things I to like most aobut men is htey say what they mean and mean what they say, no what is termed fluf words there to disort the thinking beyond the words that were spoken, they are often ones who work through logic before coming to emotion and that is of how my own brain works too. Some of my favorite places to shop or computer supplie or office supply stores home depots, and the great indoors is another new favorite. I to also like world markets, kirkmans and places of odd things one cant find in most stores. I to hate shopping with woman most to because they want to look at clothes, jewelry and make up and girly things that I to have no interst or understanding to. I to e of nice and tolerate of it but it is not somethings i to be to understand. Sondra In Autism_in_Girls , " " wrote: > > Well, if bisexual is the issue it could explain the problem with urges and > why I was never interested in dating like other kids my age (in high > school). I don't like dresses or high heals and I refuse to carry a purse. > I have a trifold wallet in my back pocket. I never notice " cute guys " like > my sisters and I hate having a girl's time out because I prefer the company > of men. I do not like soap operas, perfume, make-up or hair stuff. I work > on my car, like to look at tools at Sears and I suck at anything domestic. > Other than being physically attracted to my husband, I have no other > feminine qualities. I guess this makes me think I am Bisexual. Maybe I am > not but I am really confused about the subject. > > > > I told Tim I thought I was but this was long ago before we knew of the > autism. Maybe we need to talk of it again. But our relationship is > starting to improve a little and I don't want to add another weight to the > back. > > > > I will think about the book. > > > > Nadine > > > > embarassing question > > I have avoided asking this because it is very embarrassing topic. > However, the occurrence of these incidents is more a problem than > the topic itself. I do ask that whoever answers this question be > calm, sympathetic and sensitive. This is hard for me to ask. > > Ok, so here it goes. I seem to have this problem with sexual > attraction. It is either all on full force or all gone. I have > times where the drive to need and want sexual activity is so great > that it is almost impossible to ignore, but then there are times > when I really want to be with my husband and I can't get anything to > cooperate. > > Does anyone else have this problem that is on the spectrum? > Sometimes I am confused if maybe I am bisexual, but there is no > consistency. Is there a way to control the urges that come at the > wrong times? Can I save that feeling for later? > > I want to enjoy these good feelings but I am finding it so hard to > know how. Any suggestions? Please don't recommend a book. I am > not sure I could handle buying a book or even seeing a book about > this stuff. Just some suggestions would be good now. > > Also, did anyone get my last post about helping my husband? I > didn't get any responses so I wonder if it posted at all. > > Nadine > > Autism_in_Girls- <mailto:Autism_in_Girls-subscribe% 40yahoogroups.com> > subscribe > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls- <mailto:Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe% 40yahoogroups.com> > unsubscribe > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 , You've already received some helpful and compassionate posts. I don't have lots to add but just want to say that it is indeed truly normal to have desire come and go, especially for women. Like someone said, if you're still ovulating (that is, not yet in menopause), your desire can really be impacted by the ebb and flow of hormones--you'd have a high desire just before and during ovulation time. And lots of women have a lack of desire too, sometimes during certain parts of the month, and some lack desire all the time. There are many reasons for the latter, from stress and fatigue to past trauma to thyroid and hormonal issues. And I know lots of women who say they don't care about sex and it;s just not a big part of their life. I know this is hard to talk about, but please try not to feel embarrassed. The media paints a picture of what a healthy sex life is supposed to look like, but it's just not reality for most people. There are all kinds of " normal " too. You may want to consult a caring female doctor and let her set your mind at ease, and/or if necessary run some tests to make sure your hormones are OK and that there isn't something else going on. As far as your mail about your husband, I did read it but wasn't sure I had anything to say to help you. I saved the mail and meant to respond and tell you that I am sorry you are having these troubles but not sure what else to day, but got busy and didn't get to it. I am sorry. I have to run now but hope you are doing OK. Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 When and where is it? Nadine Re: embarassing question > > > > , it's very common and normal to feel urges stronger at times > than others. If you track your menstrul cycles you might find that > these feelings are happening at the same point during your cycle each > month. When females ovulate (release the ovum into the fallopian > tubes) we are often very attracted and desire relations. It's a basic > bodily function. Also, people with autism have abnormal responses to > various neurotransmitters. Gratification from sex releases specific > chemicals, as well as urges to have sex. It would only make sense that > you feel overwhelming urges or nothing. > > Also, if you are taking an SSRI, it's very common to have the > inability to experience gratification. It's possible other medications > could interfere with this as well, that's one that is more commonly > prescribed and discussed as a side effect. > > As to another posting about your hubby, I'm not sure, I check from the > site and don't recall reading it. > > HTH, > Debi > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel better to not feel alone. I bet your husband and mine would have much to talk about. Nadine embarassing question > > I have avoided asking this because it is very embarrassing topic. > However, the occurrence of these incidents is more a problem than > the topic itself. I do ask that whoever answers this question be > calm, sympathetic and sensitive. This is hard for me to ask. > > Ok, so here it goes. I seem to have this problem with sexual > attraction. It is either all on full force or all gone. I have > times where the drive to need and want sexual activity is so great > that it is almost impossible to ignore, but then there are times > when I really want to be with my husband and I can't get anything to > cooperate. > > Does anyone else have this problem that is on the spectrum? > Sometimes I am confused if maybe I am bisexual, but there is no > consistency. Is there a way to control the urges that come at the > wrong times? Can I save that feeling for later? > > I want to enjoy these good feelings but I am finding it so hard to > know how. Any suggestions? Please don't recommend a book. I am > not sure I could handle buying a book or even seeing a book about > this stuff. Just some suggestions would be good now. > > Also, did anyone get my last post about helping my husband? I > didn't get any responses so I wonder if it posted at all. > > Nadine > > Autism_in_Girls- <mailto:Autism_in_Girls-subscribe% 40yahoogroups.com> > subscribe@yahoogrou <mailto:subscribe%40yahoogroups.com> ps.com > ------------------------ > Autism_in_Girls- <mailto:Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe% 40yahoogroups.com> > unsubscribe@ <mailto:unsubscribe%40yahoogroups.com> yahoogroups.com > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 That is a confusing question. It sounds strange I am sure but I can't really for certain say what I am attracted to. All I know is I never found anyone attractive in exciting ways until I met Tim. I am not sure why or what specifically makes that happen. Nadine Re: embarassing question , most of the " girly " things you do not prefer are sensory issues. heels can mess up our vestibular systems (not to mention hurt our backs and feet), purses are something we must consciously keep up with. If you're overloaded sensory-wise, that's another annoyance. As to prefering men, they are easier socially. Again, soap operas are a social thing. Perfume, makeup, and hair stuff are all sensory. Working on cars is concrete. If you fear social situations, working on a car is a very preferable activity, and it has a logical consequence, to provide you with transportation. All of these things don't make you gay. If you were bisexual, you'd have a sexual desire to be with a woman. A lot of girly stuff is just too annoying to deal with, but that doesn't make you less of or not a woman. HTH, Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 Thanks to all of you who posted. I am going to make an appointment with a female doctor. Tim and I talked about it and he thinks that as long as I avoid the Gyn (which I have done now for 6 years) that I will just continue to worry which will in turn affect my drive. (I never went to follow up exam after was born.) He was much more compassionate about it than I thought he might be so I am glad you all told me to talk to him. He was patient with me and hugged me after we talked until I fell asleep. I also got a book called Navigating the Social World by Jeanette McAfee and I have done the first three programs. Tim is very helpful and willing and I am learning about feelings. Maybe this will help me. I really need to find a program for me but I am confused and frustrated over the process. I hope things will get better soon. Nadine Re: embarassing question , You've already received some helpful and compassionate posts. I don't have lots to add but just want to say that it is indeed truly normal to have desire come and go, especially for women. Like someone said, if you're still ovulating (that is, not yet in menopause), your desire can really be impacted by the ebb and flow of hormones--you'd have a high desire just before and during ovulation time. And lots of women have a lack of desire too, sometimes during certain parts of the month, and some lack desire all the time. There are many reasons for the latter, from stress and fatigue to past trauma to thyroid and hormonal issues. And I know lots of women who say they don't care about sex and it;s just not a big part of their life. I know this is hard to talk about, but please try not to feel embarrassed. The media paints a picture of what a healthy sex life is supposed to look like, but it's just not reality for most people. There are all kinds of " normal " too. You may want to consult a caring female doctor and let her set your mind at ease, and/or if necessary run some tests to make sure your hormones are OK and that there isn't something else going on. As far as your mail about your husband, I did read it but wasn't sure I had anything to say to help you. I saved the mail and meant to respond and tell you that I am sorry you are having these troubles but not sure what else to day, but got busy and didn't get to it. I am sorry. I have to run now but hope you are doing OK. Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 It sounds like you really have found a wonderful husband. I think that may be why you do find yourself physically attracted to him. Physical attraction is very often based on mental compatability. You said you didn't understand why or how physical attraction happens. I don't think any of us really know why we are attracted to certain people, but when the person is as understanding as Tim seems to be, it is not hard to imagine why you would find him attractive. Amnesty > > Thanks to all of you who posted. I am going to make an appointment with a > female doctor. Tim and I talked about it and he thinks that as long as I > avoid the Gyn (which I have done now for 6 years) that I will just continue > to worry which will in turn affect my drive. (I never went to follow up > exam after was born.) He was much more compassionate about it than I > thought he might be so I am glad you all told me to talk to him. He was > patient with me and hugged me after we talked until I fell asleep. > > > > I also got a book called Navigating the Social World by Jeanette McAfee and > I have done the first three programs. Tim is very helpful and willing and I > am learning about feelings. Maybe this will help me. I really need to find > a program for me but I am confused and frustrated over the process. I hope > things will get better soon. > > > > Nadine > > > > Re: embarassing question > > > > , > You've already received some helpful and compassionate posts. I don't > have lots to add but just want to say that it is indeed truly normal to have > > desire come and go, especially for women. Like someone said, if you're still > > ovulating (that is, not yet in menopause), your desire can really be > impacted by > the ebb and flow of hormones--you'd have a high desire just before and > during > ovulation time. And lots of women have a lack of desire too, sometimes > during > certain parts of the month, and some lack desire all the time. There are > many > reasons for the latter, from stress and fatigue to past trauma to thyroid > and > hormonal issues. And I know lots of women who say they don't care about sex > and > it;s just not a big part of their life. I know this is hard to talk about, > but > please try not to feel embarrassed. The media paints a picture of what a > healthy sex life is supposed to look like, but it's just not reality for > most > people. There are all kinds of " normal " too. You may want to consult a > caring > female doctor and let her set your mind at ease, and/or if necessary run > some > tests to make sure your hormones are OK and that there isn't something else > going > on. > As far as your mail about your husband, I did read it but wasn't sure I > had anything to say to help you. I saved the mail and meant to respond and > tell > you that I am sorry you are having these troubles but not sure what else to > day, but got busy and didn't get to it. I am sorry. > I have to run now but hope you are doing OK. > Melinda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 We will meet outside of the Emory Inn on the sidewalk at 1641 Clifton Road at 6:00am and walking over to the CDC by 6:15am. WHEN? Thursday, June 29, 2006, 6:00am - 9:00am Demonstration at CDC, 10:00 Public Forum/Press Conference - Location to be announced - *This will be an exciting event as the Simpsonwood Seven have been invited to answer some very serious questions from our panel like Dr. Body Haley, Dr. Geier, and more.... > > > > I am currently on no meds. To be honest I was basically loosely > diagnosed > > and then dropped. I can't find therapy I can afford or that is > covered by > > insurance and since I do not have the comprehensive testing yet, I > am out of > > the aid loop. This is why I can never respond to the posts about > education, > > treatments or meds because I don't have anything. I spend hours > trying to > > teach myself from books how to overcome my autism while doctors do > nothing > > and my marriage falls apart. I am so lonely in my autism that I > feel I can > > be lost to it soon. I call doctors and they ask " are you having > thoughts > > about ending your life? " and once I say no, I am booted to another > waiting > > list. I am hiding inside of me with so many questions I can't ask > and so > > frustrated that I can't get any help I can afford. We declared > bankruptcy > > and Tim and I both now work 2 jobs. My jobs are both part time > because I > > get so stressed. > > > > > > > > Anyhow, I think I may be rambling. People say since I am autistic I am > > broken. I am not broken. I am disassembled and lost the instructions. > > > > > > > > I am lonely in Georgia. > > > > > > > > Nadine > > > > > > > > Re: embarassing question > > > > > > > > , it's very common and normal to feel urges stronger at times > > than others. If you track your menstrul cycles you might find that > > these feelings are happening at the same point during your cycle each > > month. When females ovulate (release the ovum into the fallopian > > tubes) we are often very attracted and desire relations. It's a basic > > bodily function. Also, people with autism have abnormal responses to > > various neurotransmitters. Gratification from sex releases specific > > chemicals, as well as urges to have sex. It would only make sense that > > you feel overwhelming urges or nothing. > > > > Also, if you are taking an SSRI, it's very common to have the > > inability to experience gratification. It's possible other medications > > could interfere with this as well, that's one that is more commonly > > prescribed and discussed as a side effect. > > > > As to another posting about your hubby, I'm not sure, I check from the > > site and don't recall reading it. > > > > HTH, > > Debi > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 Sounds like that inexplicable thing called love to me. <G> Debi > > That is a confusing question. It sounds strange I am sure but I can't > really for certain say what I am attracted to. All I know is I never found > anyone attractive in exciting ways until I met Tim. I am not sure why or > what specifically makes that happen. > > > > Nadine > > > > Re: embarassing question > > > > , most of the " girly " things you do not prefer are sensory > issues. heels can mess up our vestibular systems (not to mention hurt > our backs and feet), purses are something we must consciously keep up > with. If you're overloaded sensory-wise, that's another annoyance. As > to prefering men, they are easier socially. Again, soap operas are a > social thing. Perfume, makeup, and hair stuff are all sensory. > Working on cars is concrete. If you fear social situations, working on > a car is a very preferable activity, and it has a logical consequence, > to provide you with transportation. > > All of these things don't make you gay. If you were bisexual, you'd > have a sexual desire to be with a woman. A lot of girly stuff is just > too annoying to deal with, but that doesn't make you less of or not a > woman. > > HTH, > Debi > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 15, 2006 Report Share Posted June 15, 2006 Sounds good. I will talk to Tim tonight to make plans to be there. I look forward to meeting you. You can email me off list if you like and I can give you details so you know what I look like. Nadine Re: embarassing question > > > > > > > > , it's very common and normal to feel urges stronger at times > > than others. If you track your menstrul cycles you might find that > > these feelings are happening at the same point during your cycle each > > month. When females ovulate (release the ovum into the fallopian > > tubes) we are often very attracted and desire relations. It's a basic > > bodily function. Also, people with autism have abnormal responses to > > various neurotransmitters. Gratification from sex releases specific > > chemicals, as well as urges to have sex. It would only make sense that > > you feel overwhelming urges or nothing. > > > > Also, if you are taking an SSRI, it's very common to have the > > inability to experience gratification. It's possible other medications > > could interfere with this as well, that's one that is more commonly > > prescribed and discussed as a side effect. > > > > As to another posting about your hubby, I'm not sure, I check from the > > site and don't recall reading it. > > > > HTH, > > Debi > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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