Re: Autism Conference/school abuse and rejections

March 15, 2006

Being bullied and

basically tortured as a child is disgusting and the school system

completely failed with Kassie.

The above statements is of true for many if not all autistics lifde at

school. It is not an isoalted case. and it isnot somethigns that

happened in school years of past but still runs much strogn in todays

school. for some the cure little autistic is so cute they are of as

the one person sayed can be coddled much but once they get to

acertain age NT children then move on in development leaving out the

child of autism and some will begin to target them as a way to

look " cool " in front of peers. by middle school it gets worse and

often by high school we are the rejected isolated kids who tehn often

be to have mental issues added to the mix of depressions, and some

suicidal thinkings.

Yes the road of autism journy can be bleak for some but with much

effort and work some do make it and come through such as the boy inthe

basketball game. some break though the barriers and find acceptance.

For me the acceptance came only through of my children , once I to

discovered the name for the moster I to been fighting alone all of

life I to felt could not understand and move forward in life for self.

I to now have accpetance through parent groups, other autistics and

have found a place to belong so so to speak.

March 15, 2006

I to just re read of my post , can tell was having an off morning as

not finished of my thinking in many sentences and have wrong words

in other parts. I to need to slow of my fingers and such but trying

to keep up with the rapid words dancing in my brain to get them to

flow through to my finger tips is not always easy a times but it is

worse for me trying to get them to come through the lips LOL.

Anyways I to meant to say the abuse at schools was not just a past

things but still is done even in todays schools and sometimes much

more worse as we have much more angry typical kids and more typical

kids who are in crisis that is hidden and they are fighting back

lashing and kicking all the way. people of challenges are a perfect

target to vent because they feel more in power and control over such

childrens and those children are less likeily to speak out. In our

state the most saddest was that a few teen boys lured a high school

girl with developmental delays and possible retardation to a closed

off areas a sexually assulted her , yes right in the school building

so what does this say about the future of many kids of today.

I to also need to add that there was a adopted family in our state

that locked 11 of her adopted children all with disabilites into

cages at night for sleeping, many of them autistic. so the horror

stories of Kassi's past and my past and many other adults on

spectrums past is not a thing of the past but still is a issues for

this day. Kassi spoke at the loss of autistics via death all in the

names of therapuetic methods , some of those methods were cruel and

lacked dignity and did not ever even come close to validating the

individual at all. Such as the restraining holds with excessive or

prolonged use resulted in a few deaths, a young many while at hims

church tried to be to have the demons cast out of him dies he was 9,

and the man who wanted to go to the kitchen of hims group home but

hims care person refused to let him in this resulted in the man un

able to communicate to meltdown the care person caused the

escalations and the police called and he was killed by brute force a

tazer guns, all over hims desire to be in the kitchen which by the

way was not an off limit room to clients who lived there.......

Bullying factors are still present in adults too. And the little

child years back forced to under go a rebirthing ideas all in the

name of curing her , this is where the anger rages within the

autistics because of so much out there so called to fix us or cure

us or change us is really killng and us, and some of those who

survive end up with severe PTSD which is easily triggered by words

or actions or smells or colors and such. We often lack the abilty to

sift and get out the fears and abuses to us becuase of the

communications barriers and so we hoard it for years and it , and if

we did be to try who would be to listen and act on it in our behlaf.

Such as me when I to be finally around 14 or so and could finally

speak of the sexaul abuse and traumas it was known by the mental

helath people in the psych wards, family knew too and so did a very

large ministry and thier so called pastors and NOT one freed me from

the abuse , not one listened and NO ONE protected me from it. So

even those as I to shared who do speak out are not often heard or

validated. Many assume because we are to them DIS abled we cant

possible understand or feel the pain of the same impacts other

children might feel within the same event. When will people begin to

see we are alive not illusions and when will people be to see we

have dreams , feelings and emotions like all are born with.

Another mom in one of my speaking events shared she did not speak to

her autistic child in regards to the loss of his brother because

they felt he would not or could not have mentality within him to

understand because he was to be LFA , but after a time the brothers

birthday came and the boy with autism brought of hims brothers

picture to hims mohter ...... that to me shouted he was aware more

than any thinked of him , no one helped him understand no one helped

him grieve the loss he had to do it alone and silently within him.

Hims only way he found to get words aobut hims brother was to bring

the picture to hims mother. A million words spoken by that one

action of a young man who could not speak words in any other domain

yet. So yes we communicate but our non verbals may be really hard

for others to see or read and they may be so subtle it was nto even

noticed, and some like that young man it shouts........

Sondra

In Autism_in_Girls , " sondra " wrote:

>

> Being bullied and

> basically tortured as a child is disgusting and the school system

> completely failed with Kassie.

>

> The above statements is of true for many if not all autistics

lifde at

> school. It is not an isoalted case. and it isnot somethigns that

> happened in school years of past but still runs much strogn in

todays

> school. for some the cure little autistic is so cute they are of

as

> the one person sayed can be coddled much but once they get to

> acertain age NT children then move on in development leaving out

the

> child of autism and some will begin to target them as a way to

> look " cool " in front of peers. by middle school it gets worse and

> often by high school we are the rejected isolated kids who tehn

often

> be to have mental issues added to the mix of depressions, and some

> suicidal thinkings.

>

> Yes the road of autism journy can be bleak for some but with much

> effort and work some do make it and come through such as the boy

inthe

> basketball game. some break though the barriers and find

acceptance.

>

> For me the acceptance came only through of my children , once I to

> discovered the name for the moster I to been fighting alone all of

> life I to felt could not understand and move forward in life for

self.

> I to now have accpetance through parent groups, other autistics

and

> have found a place to belong so so to speak.

>

March 15, 2006

Sondra,

I am so sorry that you and many others had such a difficult time in

school. It must still hurt to think of those memories. Being

bullied and rejected is what I am most worried about when my

daughter reaches school-age, particularly middle school and high

school. I just want her to be happy and comfortable with herself

and for people to accept her as she is. Do you think growing up

would have been any easier for you if you had known you had autism

and that was the reason for your " differences " ? At what point do

you think parents should disclose that information to their child?

Or should we be using the word autism around our children from the

beginning so they are comfortable hearing the word? Just curious to

hear your thoughts.

Lori

>

> Being bullied and

> basically tortured as a child is disgusting and the school system

> completely failed with Kassie.

>

> The above statements is of true for many if not all autistics

lifde at

> school. It is not an isoalted case. and it isnot somethigns that

> happened in school years of past but still runs much strogn in

todays

> school. for some the cure little autistic is so cute they are of

as

> the one person sayed can be coddled much but once they get to

> acertain age NT children then move on in development leaving out

the

> child of autism and some will begin to target them as a way to

> look " cool " in front of peers. by middle school it gets worse and

> often by high school we are the rejected isolated kids who tehn

often

> be to have mental issues added to the mix of depressions, and some

> suicidal thinkings.

>

> Yes the road of autism journy can be bleak for some but with much

> effort and work some do make it and come through such as the boy

inthe

> basketball game. some break though the barriers and find

acceptance.

>

> For me the acceptance came only through of my children , once I to

> discovered the name for the moster I to been fighting alone all of

> life I to felt could not understand and move forward in life for

self.

> I to now have accpetance through parent groups, other autistics

and

> have found a place to belong so so to speak.

>

March 15, 2006

As soon as the first word of autism leavces a doctors lips in

regards to you child it should be disclosed. that does not mean one

needs to do encyclopedia definition but to tell tehm and be open

about and be to discuss it often teaching them aobut their autism

such as when things are overwhelming share to them things they can

do to escape it, communicate it, and or such and be to teach of

great important peoples of history that had or is of belived to ahve

autism or other challenges such as Helen Keller, and teach them how

they uses their abilities as a way of progession and not their DIS

ability as a crutch or excuse of bad behaviors or the I cant be to

do this mode....Although there will be things we simple cant do but

allow us to discover alternative ways of doing them. Or teache us

some choices of escape that is effective and meaningful to US not

the group or others, but to " US " , but in ways to also respect of

others.

One cant be to give up and let us be 100% as we are as this leaves

us in a mode of DIA ability instead of progressing to ability. Such

as Helen Keller if the theacher did not work in the fashion she did

she would not have broken through to Helens altered way of cognitons

or communications. Yes it might have been very upsetting to Helen

and or even to the point of trauma to her at times but one day the

simple sensory feel of the water trickling down out of the pump

triggered open the understand of all these little touches the

teacher forced into her hand was a form of words that now maked

sense to her.

If she was of left to this state of being she would have been then

ultimately been left into a state of severe DIS ability, but once it

makes sense to Helen it opened the door to ability and to me she is

of my most respected peoples of challenges because she proved the

world wrong. Most would assume that the person who never hears of

words or see cant possibly develop cognitions to understand or even

grasp emotional concepts or see of the world painting in poetic

fashions as she did when she spoke of the words back out from her

heart to the people. She proved she did exist and was human in areas

of emotion and feeling.

Sondra

In Autism_in_Girls , " lorgonzo4 " wrote:

>

> Sondra,

> I am so sorry that you and many others had such a difficult time

in

> school. It must still hurt to think of those memories. Being

> bullied and rejected is what I am most worried about when my

> daughter reaches school-age, particularly middle school and high

> school. I just want her to be happy and comfortable with herself

> and for people to accept her as she is. Do you think growing up

> would have been any easier for you if you had known you had autism

> and that was the reason for your " differences " ? At what point do

> you think parents should disclose that information to their

child?

> Or should we be using the word autism around our children from the

> beginning so they are comfortable hearing the word? Just curious

to

> hear your thoughts.

>

> Lori

>

> >

> > Being bullied and

> > basically tortured as a child is disgusting and the school system

> > completely failed with Kassie.

> >

> > The above statements is of true for many if not all autistics

> lifde at

> > school. It is not an isoalted case. and it isnot somethigns that

> > happened in school years of past but still runs much strogn in

> todays

> > school. for some the cure little autistic is so cute they are of

> as

> > the one person sayed can be coddled much but once they get to

> > acertain age NT children then move on in development leaving out

> the

> > child of autism and some will begin to target them as a way to

> > look " cool " in front of peers. by middle school it gets worse

and

> > often by high school we are the rejected isolated kids who tehn

> often

> > be to have mental issues added to the mix of depressions, and

some

> > suicidal thinkings.

> >

> > Yes the road of autism journy can be bleak for some but with

much

> > effort and work some do make it and come through such as the boy

> inthe

> > basketball game. some break though the barriers and find

> acceptance.

> >

> > For me the acceptance came only through of my children , once I

to

> > discovered the name for the moster I to been fighting alone all

of

> > life I to felt could not understand and move forward in life for

> self.

> > I to now have accpetance through parent groups, other autistics

> and

> > have found a place to belong so so to speak.

> >

>

March 15, 2006

I was reading all of your posts Sondra on this issue. I agree that Helen

Keller is an inspiration to us, as is Temple Grandin and Brittany Maier.

These are the people that broke the molds and defied the odds. They proved

they too are people, complete people, whole people merely trapped behind an

invisible wall.

I too suffered in school. I was bullied not just by the students, but by

the teachers as well. I retracted into a shell for protection and as a

result my social skills worsened. Learning social skills for me is like an

NT learning piano, a note by note process that requires daily practice and

applied technique. Without daily practice, I became good at hiding. No

one, including the teachers, made any attempt to connect with me and I felt

abandoned by the school. It wasn't until my 10th grade year when my teacher

Ms. . She had me tested for intelligence and I evidently did so well

I finally got everyone's attention. After 10 years of being ignored at

school I was suddenly being accosted by the debate team, the honors society,

the " look how smart we are " club, or whatever they could come up with. It

was equally as insulting. Why? Because I hadn't changed, merely their

perception of me changed and only because one teacher had the talent to

notice.

I dropped out of school and was self taught. I used a correspondence school

so I could have a real diploma instead of a GED. This discovery helped me

to a better education, but it is the autism diagnosis (as well as the

schizophrenia) that has really helped. Now I can go places and learn why I

repeat phrases back to people, copy accents, and all the other unusual

things I do that sometimes offend others. I know that before I had the IQ

test and before the autism diagnosis, I had assumed I had many other

problems or that I was just a bad person.

All children have to face rejection at some point in their life. Yet,

autistics have to face it time and time again and usually for the same

reasons. My son knows he is autistic, but he and I are proud of that. We

consider ourselves blessed to have a unique perspective and I believe we owe

it to ourselves and society to teach that unique perspective. Tell your

child, yes I think so. But I would do so in the right timing and context.

Do not present it to him or her as if the child was diagnosed with a

terminal illness. I think it should be something as comfortable to the

child as the color of their eyes.

Society has a long way to go, but we can all work together and teach them

about a unique group of people that can change the world.

Nadine