Guest guest Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 Tracey there is not a set given of the spectrum some are more able in life skills and some are more slow to learn them and it is often not due to intellect as much as it is due maybe to the sensory/processing and being able to feel or read inside body signals and have ability to know what they mean or what to do with them. Some are more challenged by core issues of autism than others but htis is true for boys and or girls. Because if all girls were to be higher abled then the research would need to know why girls are less affected than boys , but since there is no strong evidence to support one gender being more affected or abled than the other it is more true to say that spectrum is not a respect of gender and either or can be greatly or mildly affected. I to also be sorry you are of jealous of the way in which some of the other gilrs have developed and or are functioning but this does not equate that you own child will not make progress and or have a good outcome in life. many reach for a society standard of norms and expectations but the reality is that for a child to develop to their highest potential and be accepted and loved is better than others who by functionality are more able and be to reach potentials with no love or family is by far worse outcomes. So what I to besaying is that the family dynamics play the biggest part inthe childs outcomes emotionally in the end. You child is of a blessed little girl to have a mom to love her and want the best for her. But remember mom to be to set new priority of what is the best/ for her and for you both in the end. I to think most will be to say they want their child to know and feel loved regardless of how functional they become or not achieve. For me I to be considered to be of the HFA group but to have no birth mom or dad to love of me or care about my world or life is of very hard for me emotionally and so this impacts me greatly. I to maked much progress in the life of me but if could would trade this ability to be of functional in rapidly for to ahve parents instead to embrace of me and love me. Sondra In Autism_in_Girls , McKinless wrote: > > I really don;t know what the REAL answer is, but my > daughter is much more affected than my son -- > non-verbal, semi-potty trained (at 11 yrs.) The other > girls I have met her age and older who have the ASD > diagnosis have been very similar in their severity. > Since my son is now 6 I have met a number of girls his > age who are less affected than my daughter. If I met > them on the street I might just think they were > extremely shy. > I don't know what this means. I am kinda jealous > though. > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2006 Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 My daughter (Amy) is just kind of quirky. And she was almost 4 when she finally got pottie trained. I'd tried for two years and then I picked up a used video at our local store: Once Upon a Potty (for girls). It was a big thing (in the early 90s), with Prudence for girls and for boys. There were books, videos, dolls, etc. I popped that into the VCR and guess who was potty trained within 3 days?! Amy relates better to adults, rather than peers (which was me at her age). I see a lot of myself in her. Food for thought: Amy's father (RIP) once commented, what if she's the normal one and the rest of us are really the oddballs! And another thing that makes me wonder if I'm an Aspie: growing up with my mother, she leaned towards the eclectic in home furnishing (but it all worked). I want stuff that matches or coordinates and I would dearly love a set of dishes and flatware that is all the same!! ,RN lemobrn@... You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt > >Reply-To: Autism_in_Girls >To: Autism_in_Girls >Subject: girls with ASD >Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2006 17:50:51 -0800 (PST) > >I really don;t know what the REAL answer is, but my >daughter is much more affected than my son -- >non-verbal, semi-potty trained (at 11 yrs.) The other >girls I have met her age and older who have the ASD >diagnosis have been very similar in their severity. >Since my son is now 6 I have met a number of girls his >age who are less affected than my daughter. If I met >them on the street I might just think they were >extremely shy. >I don't know what this means. I am kinda jealous >though. > > > >__________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2006 Report Share Posted April 3, 2006 Last year when 's aunt died, we were all deeply affected. She and Abby were VERY close. I think that its crap that people say that people with autism don't have feelings or much less show them. Abby was so upset and cried so much that she brought 4 grown men to tears over how upset she was that Aunt Cal died. This upcoming Sunday, April 9th. will be the one year anniversary of her death, and trust me, Abby remembers, and still very much feels it. Pennie Abby's Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2006 Report Share Posted April 3, 2006 I think it's depending on kids. One example of my Allie. We had a kitten die and I was crying. Dinah, my baby, came up and kissed me. Allie got in front of me and laughed and watched me closely. If she did interpret the emotion correctly, she had an inappropriate response. She also laughs when her sisters are hurt. I don't think she's trying to be mean, I think she is more studying the sounds and behaviors and enjoying the study, at least that's what I get from it. I think all kids with autism are affectionate, i think that's a myth that was created when people with autism can't deal with the sensory input of perfumes, touches, textures of different people, it was easier to say they just don't show emotion than to try and understand they are overwhelmed. Debi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2006 Report Share Posted April 3, 2006 tracey sorry if implied that you lacked love for you child but was saying of opposite too and was sharing more higher thinking in regards to parenting and loving our childrens. Intuitive ? not sure but i to be to share can learn of certain things as a pattern and can respond them but for me am much so a person who is sensitive and can pick up signals of emotionals but not always able to know what to do with them or respond to them in good time. I to think that is why so many molds get formed assuming we all lack or we are all alike and this is why you girls are loving and affectionate because this is part of thier personality and the way they present themselves. bu again it does not equate that others on spectrum do not also feel but they may be more challenged in being able to express it in ways others can see or interpret. Sondra In Autism_in_Girls , McKinless wrote: > > Sondra, > I never meant to imply that I don't love Casey. > Actually quite the opposite! > And I have a question -- I have always heard and read > that people with autism have trouble interpreting > emotions and sharing them with others. Both of my ASD > kids are very affectionate and like to be cuddled and > touched. They both laugh and giggle and have a great > sense of humor. When someone is sad or hurt they > become very concerned. If I have a headache Casey will > come to me and put her hands on my head and make it > feel better with the warmth of her hands (I don't even > need to invite her, she just feels what needs to be > fixed). Soooooo, wouldn't all of this be intuitive? Is > all the old literature OLD? > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2006 Report Share Posted April 3, 2006 debbie the laughing at others giref and sad can be maybe explained by teh sudden change in you body language that she is intrigued by and not able to read the emotion and or connect the action to the emotional responses yet. Sometimes my brian understands i to be to need to reflect sad but cant feel sad so will try to reflect of sad but out comes the opposite emotion of laughter. it is of quite embarrasing as not meant for laughter to come but it did when was trying to pull out a script for sad because my brain had not had enough time to process the real of the true emotion within me to feel sad yet. so have to rely on scripts to pass as ok in the setting. Sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2006 Report Share Posted April 3, 2006 Allie also did this when my BIL died a few weeks ago. My BIL and grandmother are her two favorite people in the world. At the funeral I took her up to the coffin and held her so she could see him. She smiled and said, " Uncle Mack sleeping. " I think she understands what's going on, like you said, she just doesn't know what to do with it. Deb > > debbie the laughing at others giref and sad can be maybe explained by > teh sudden change in you body language that she is intrigued by and > not able to read the emotion and or connect the action to the > emotional responses yet. Sometimes my brian understands i to be to > need to reflect sad but cant feel sad so will try to reflect of sad > but out comes the opposite emotion of laughter. it is of quite > embarrasing as not meant for laughter to come but it did when was > trying to pull out a script for sad because my brain had not had > enough time to process the real of the true emotion within me to feel > sad yet. so have to rely on scripts to pass as ok in the setting. > Sondra > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2006 Report Share Posted April 3, 2006 two emotions i to show rapidly and impulsively is the fear and anger ones and often my reactions are a hyper alert sense of fight and flight responses to most all emotions even happy ones because the surging of emotions feels like too much simulation and makes the body shake which causes the body to respond in a agitation of fight and flight responses most of the times. Sondra In Autism_in_Girls , " Debi " wrote: > > Allie also did this when my BIL died a few weeks ago. My BIL and > grandmother are her two favorite people in the world. At the funeral I > took her up to the coffin and held her so she could see him. She > smiled and said, " Uncle Mack sleeping. " I think she understands what's > going on, like you said, she just doesn't know what to do with it. > > Deb > > > > > > debbie the laughing at others giref and sad can be maybe explained by > > teh sudden change in you body language that she is intrigued by and > > not able to read the emotion and or connect the action to the > > emotional responses yet. Sometimes my brian understands i to be to > > need to reflect sad but cant feel sad so will try to reflect of sad > > but out comes the opposite emotion of laughter. it is of quite > > embarrasing as not meant for laughter to come but it did when was > > trying to pull out a script for sad because my brain had not had > > enough time to process the real of the true emotion within me to feel > > sad yet. so have to rely on scripts to pass as ok in the setting. > > Sondra > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2006 Report Share Posted April 3, 2006 I would say that MOST of the kids I work with are snuggly/affectionate, and many do show empathy when someone is upset. Many also have a great, if sometimes quirky, sense of humor. I do know some kids who only want the hugs from certain, more familiar people, or on their own terms, and a few who get upset if you touch them suddenly when they are not prepared, but in general, all my kiddos like to be hugged, and are affectionate with at least familiar people. Amnesty > > Sondra, > I never meant to imply that I don't love Casey. > Actually quite the opposite! > And I have a question -- I have always heard and read > that people with autism have trouble interpreting > emotions and sharing them with others. Both of my ASD > kids are very affectionate and like to be cuddled and > touched. They both laugh and giggle and have a great > sense of humor. When someone is sad or hurt they > become very concerned. If I have a headache Casey will > come to me and put her hands on my head and make it > feel better with the warmth of her hands (I don't even > need to invite her, she just feels what needs to be > fixed). Soooooo, wouldn't all of this be intuitive? Is > all the old literature OLD? > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2006 Report Share Posted April 4, 2006 My laughs about death too. I think it is a combination of her being interested in my reactions (like tears) and her not knowing what to do with whatever she's feeling. It used to bother me but now I find I'm more able to try to understand and to keep reframing explanations of why most people do what they do, including how they show feelings about people dying. Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.