Guest guest Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 , Sorry you are all having such a hard time. Sounds like the stresses in your family's life could definitely be contributing to your daughter's increased symptoms. There is a lack of control and stability that is very scary to anyone with OCD. I am sure the rest of you are stressed by it as well and she may be picking up on this. Our daughter with OCD is very sensitive to any upset between my husband and myself. Sounds like some of your training and relaxation plans may help her although medication may be needed as well. Have you tried anything specifically for sleep? Our 9 yo daughter takes Melatonin, which seems to help her get to sleep faster, thus giving her less time to be anxious. A low-dose chewable form of melatonin is available at Trader Joe's if you have that store locally. My new mantra, for both my kids and myself (I also have OCD) is " you may not like this, but you can handle it. " Best wishes, > > Subject: Our Story > To: > Date: Friday, October 30, 2009, 3:54 AM > Hello! > > I keep meaning to formally " introduce " myself but the > thought of the time > it'll take to type everything out that's going through my > head keeps me from > sitting down to do it! (watch out, this is gonna be long! > lol) I've been > reading everyone's emails since I joined a few months ago > but have only > posted twice I think. > > > > My name is , I am a wife, mother to three children, > freelance flutist, > 2nd generation homeschooler and music therapist in training > (will be > certified following a 6 month 40 hr/week internship that > starts this > January). My children are a daughter age 9, a son age > 7 and another son age > 2. My daughter, Autumn, has had OCD it seems her > entire life, beginning > with a need for specifically arranging her toys and food > (food couldn't > touch) when she was just a toddler and starting to exhibit > rituals (that we > noticed) at bedtime when she was around 3 or 4 years old - > Tapping her > bedroom door in a certain pattern, reciting " no bad > shadows, no bad > monsters " 3 times when she laid down in her bed, etc. > > > > We have been able to keep Autumn's OCD mostly under control > until now > through cognitive-behavioral therapy done at home, without > medication or > seeing a therapist, only because of the psychology training > I have had, but > we have recently had huge upheaval in our lives because of > devastating > financial losses we had last spring and in fact have had to > move in with > relatives temporarily. Our daughter's OCD has > increased so much as a result > that I think it's time to get some medication for > bedtime. She has had such > a high number of complete meltdowns in the last couple of > months, she's not > getting enough sleep because she lays in bed with her eyes > open in fear, and > none of the rest of the family can get any sleep either > when she has a panic > attack. > > > > Autumn's OCD has always revolved around bedtime. When > she was younger she > would also become anxious during the day to the point of > panic attack or > tantrum if her toys weren't in specific order, her food > touched, or she > didn't know exactly what the schedule for the next day was > going to be. She > also was very agitated by things like the hall light > switches because they > couldn't both be up or down at the same time. These > obsessions have > gradually become eliminated over the years as we've worked > with her on > recognizing that if she stands up to the fear/anxiety (and > tells her head > " NO! " ) she can eventually overcome or at least successfully > manage the > obsessions But the bedtime issues are much > worse. We've got the rituals > pretty much eliminated, but the fears remain. > > > > I think the best way to describe the bedtime problem is to > relay what she > " sees " at night. Two weeks ago she drew very detailed, > specific pictures of > all the monsters she imagines and told me fully developed > stories about > them. There are monsters that live underground and > want to kidnap her. > Nobody else, only her. They cannot appear in the > light, so they wait until > its dark and they will grab her and take her underground > where the head > monster will lock her up in chains and torture her. > They have a special > green fire that can never go out, otherwise any other kind > of light hurts > them. There are two tiny flying monsters that watch > her at night, waiting > for the room to get dark enough to call the other monsters > out to get her. > There are also two monsters living under the toilet that > can only come out > to grab her when she flushes the toilet and opens the > portal - they want to > get her but always give her a " chance " to get away if she > can wash her hands > and get out the door before they count to a certain number > (she didn't say > the number). There is also a monster living outside > the bathroom door who > can only wake up at night and only when the toilet flushes > - he climbs up a > ladder to see if it's her or someone else and if it's not > her he just climbs > back down and goes to sleep, otherwise he's going to try to > climb in the > window to grab her.. And this is all a very shortened > version of what she > told me she sees/imagines! And of course she knows > full well that it's all > in her head and can't possibly be real, but she FEELS it's > real, and that's > what matters. And as I'm sure you all well know from > experience - this is > WAY beyond the " normal " fear of the dark or > monsters-under-the-bed phases > that kids go through. She comes running out of the > bedroom screaming in > heart-wrenching fear, heart pounding, and can become > completely hysterical > when she has to go back to bed. She has a teddy bear > that glows in the dark > and changes colors that she relies on to keep the dark at > bay just enough > that the monsters can't get her (her brother bought it for > her 2 years ago > for Christmas because he felt sorry for her and her fear of > the dark). > Right now her panic attacks are so easily triggered, full > blown and > long-lasting that we haven't been able to keep the bear > from her but we've > been trying to convince her to go for longer and longer > periods with it > turned off. > > > > We've been able to get the monster-in-the-toilet mostly > under control during > the daytime by helping her to stay longer and longer in the > bathroom after > the toilet's been flushed instead of running out of there > in terror, but the > bedtime monsters have been much more difficult. And > unfortunately those > monsters have begun to pop up in the day now too. > Autumn admitted to me a > few days ago that she has begun to take cold showers > sometimes because she > thinks the monsters and their green fire have discovered a > way to come > through the water pipes if the water is hot enough. > She sadly told me that > she knows it doesn't make any sense that they can bring > fire through water, > but she just can't help it. Today she spent 20 > minutes standing at the door > of the shower, trying to will herself to turn the hot water > on and finally > broke down crying, asking me to turn the hot water on for > her. When I did, > she started to scream and hide behind me but I grabbed her > arm to keep her > next to me and in return she grabbed my arm and held on to > me as though she > was trying to keep her own self from pulling away; shaking, > eyes wide. She > is trying SO hard to face her fears and is so intelligent > and educated/aware > of how this OCD all works, it's both incredible and > heartbreaking to see her > fight. :-( > > > > Exposure therapy has worked the best for her with all her > obsessions/rituals. The nighttime monsters have been > the most resistant to > it, but she's been trying it with that too, self-initiating > a plan to see > how many nights in a row she can force herself to stay in > her bed to face > the fears instead of running out/away screaming. > She's nearly to a week > tonight and is sooo excited about it! :-) She cries > and resists actually > going to bed but this week she's managed to stay in there > once she can get > herself in there. Right now it seems like she will > come through it even > without medication, but it's been a wild up and down ride > for these last few > months, so I don't know yet whether this is actually going > to last. I do > also have some ideas forming for some > music+relaxation+imaging sessions that > I hope will help her sleep. We'll see. > > > > By the way, I'm not against medication, I just prefer to > use it as a sort of > last resort, especially since my husband, Autumn and I are > all > allergic/sensitive to everything and have a history of > experiencing whatever > adverse side effects various medications carry! > > > > Ramey > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 , Yes I'm certain the stresses are creating the flareups of OCD lately. Before we had to move out of our apartment, Autumn would always sleep the same way in her bed with a specific setup of her stuffed animals etc. She slept on the top bunk and really had created a haven for herself up there with a bead curtain hanging from the ceiling and glow-in-the-dark star stickers. We were working on getting her to change around her bedtime routine a little each night to become less dependent on it always being the same and she didn't have panic attacks or bad flareups over the changes we tried - just some anxiety that she was able to control. But then the sudden complete loss of that routine as well as the general upheaval and loss of our family " privacy " has definitely created a high stress situation and now smaller changes can trigger episodes. Melatonin is exactly what we're looking into starting her on to help her sleep. I didn't realize it was available at Trader Joe's though! And it looks like I forgot to mention our locale. We currently live in Ventura, CA. (And there is a Trader Joe's 2 blocks away.) Ramey maria@... _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Kusmin Sent: Friday, October 30, 2009 4:17 AM To: Subject: Re: Our Story , Sorry you are all having such a hard time. Sounds like the stresses in your family's life could definitely be contributing to your daughter's increased symptoms. There is a lack of control and stability that is very scary to anyone with OCD. I am sure the rest of you are stressed by it as well and she may be picking up on this. Our daughter with OCD is very sensitive to any upset between my husband and myself. Sounds like some of your training and relaxation plans may help her although medication may be needed as well. Have you tried anything specifically for sleep? Our 9 yo daughter takes Melatonin, which seems to help her get to sleep faster, thus giving her less time to be anxious. A low-dose chewable form of melatonin is available at Trader Joe's if you have that store locally. My new mantra, for both my kids and myself (I also have OCD) is " you may not like this, but you can handle it. " Best wishes, > From: Ramey <mariarameymusic (DOT) <mailto:maria%40rameymusic.com> com> > Subject: Our Story > To: @ <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com> yahoogroups.com > Date: Friday, October 30, 2009, 3:54 AM > Hello! > > I keep meaning to formally " introduce " myself but the > thought of the time > it'll take to type everything out that's going through my > head keeps me from > sitting down to do it! (watch out, this is gonna be long! > lol) I've been > reading everyone's emails since I joined a few months ago > but have only > posted twice I think. > > > > My name is , I am a wife, mother to three children, > freelance flutist, > 2nd generation homeschooler and music therapist in training > (will be > certified following a 6 month 40 hr/week internship that > starts this > January). My children are a daughter age 9, a son age > 7 and another son age > 2. My daughter, Autumn, has had OCD it seems her > entire life, beginning > with a need for specifically arranging her toys and food > (food couldn't > touch) when she was just a toddler and starting to exhibit > rituals (that we > noticed) at bedtime when she was around 3 or 4 years old - > Tapping her > bedroom door in a certain pattern, reciting " no bad > shadows, no bad > monsters " 3 times when she laid down in her bed, etc. > > > > We have been able to keep Autumn's OCD mostly under control > until now > through cognitive-behavioral therapy done at home, without > medication or > seeing a therapist, only because of the psychology training > I have had, but > we have recently had huge upheaval in our lives because of > devastating > financial losses we had last spring and in fact have had to > move in with > relatives temporarily. Our daughter's OCD has > increased so much as a result > that I think it's time to get some medication for > bedtime. She has had such > a high number of complete meltdowns in the last couple of > months, she's not > getting enough sleep because she lays in bed with her eyes > open in fear, and > none of the rest of the family can get any sleep either > when she has a panic > attack. > > > > Autumn's OCD has always revolved around bedtime. When > she was younger she > would also become anxious during the day to the point of > panic attack or > tantrum if her toys weren't in specific order, her food > touched, or she > didn't know exactly what the schedule for the next day was > going to be. She > also was very agitated by things like the hall light > switches because they > couldn't both be up or down at the same time. These > obsessions have > gradually become eliminated over the years as we've worked > with her on > recognizing that if she stands up to the fear/anxiety (and > tells her head > " NO! " ) she can eventually overcome or at least successfully > manage the > obsessions But the bedtime issues are much > worse. We've got the rituals > pretty much eliminated, but the fears remain. > > > > I think the best way to describe the bedtime problem is to > relay what she > " sees " at night. Two weeks ago she drew very detailed, > specific pictures of > all the monsters she imagines and told me fully developed > stories about > them. There are monsters that live underground and > want to kidnap her. > Nobody else, only her. They cannot appear in the > light, so they wait until > its dark and they will grab her and take her underground > where the head > monster will lock her up in chains and torture her. > They have a special > green fire that can never go out, otherwise any other kind > of light hurts > them. There are two tiny flying monsters that watch > her at night, waiting > for the room to get dark enough to call the other monsters > out to get her. > There are also two monsters living under the toilet that > can only come out > to grab her when she flushes the toilet and opens the > portal - they want to > get her but always give her a " chance " to get away if she > can wash her hands > and get out the door before they count to a certain number > (she didn't say > the number). There is also a monster living outside > the bathroom door who > can only wake up at night and only when the toilet flushes > - he climbs up a > ladder to see if it's her or someone else and if it's not > her he just climbs > back down and goes to sleep, otherwise he's going to try to > climb in the > window to grab her.. And this is all a very shortened > version of what she > told me she sees/imagines! And of course she knows > full well that it's all > in her head and can't possibly be real, but she FEELS it's > real, and that's > what matters. And as I'm sure you all well know from > experience - this is > WAY beyond the " normal " fear of the dark or > monsters-under-the-bed phases > that kids go through. She comes running out of the > bedroom screaming in > heart-wrenching fear, heart pounding, and can become > completely hysterical > when she has to go back to bed. She has a teddy bear > that glows in the dark > and changes colors that she relies on to keep the dark at > bay just enough > that the monsters can't get her (her brother bought it for > her 2 years ago > for Christmas because he felt sorry for her and her fear of > the dark). > Right now her panic attacks are so easily triggered, full > blown and > long-lasting that we haven't been able to keep the bear > from her but we've > been trying to convince her to go for longer and longer > periods with it > turned off. > > > > We've been able to get the monster-in-the-toilet mostly > under control during > the daytime by helping her to stay longer and longer in the > bathroom after > the toilet's been flushed instead of running out of there > in terror, but the > bedtime monsters have been much more difficult. And > unfortunately those > monsters have begun to pop up in the day now too. > Autumn admitted to me a > few days ago that she has begun to take cold showers > sometimes because she > thinks the monsters and their green fire have discovered a > way to come > through the water pipes if the water is hot enough. > She sadly told me that > she knows it doesn't make any sense that they can bring > fire through water, > but she just can't help it. Today she spent 20 > minutes standing at the door > of the shower, trying to will herself to turn the hot water > on and finally > broke down crying, asking me to turn the hot water on for > her. When I did, > she started to scream and hide behind me but I grabbed her > arm to keep her > next to me and in return she grabbed my arm and held on to > me as though she > was trying to keep her own self from pulling away; shaking, > eyes wide. She > is trying SO hard to face her fears and is so intelligent > and educated/aware > of how this OCD all works, it's both incredible and > heartbreaking to see her > fight. :-( > > > > Exposure therapy has worked the best for her with all her > obsessions/rituals. The nighttime monsters have been > the most resistant to > it, but she's been trying it with that too, self-initiating > a plan to see > how many nights in a row she can force herself to stay in > her bed to face > the fears instead of running out/away screaming. > She's nearly to a week > tonight and is sooo excited about it! :-) She cries > and resists actually > going to bed but this week she's managed to stay in there > once she can get > herself in there. Right now it seems like she will > come through it even > without medication, but it's been a wild up and down ride > for these last few > months, so I don't know yet whether this is actually going > to last. I do > also have some ideas forming for some > music+relaxation+imaging sessions that > I hope will help her sleep. We'll see. > > > > By the way, I'm not against medication, I just prefer to > use it as a sort of > last resort, especially since my husband, Autumn and I are > all > allergic/sensitive to everything and have a history of > experiencing whatever > adverse side effects various medications carry! > > > > Ramey > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2009 Report Share Posted October 30, 2009 Welcome . Glad you decided to stop lurking. ) Some of the things you mentioned sound so familiar. Our son Josh also did not like his food touching. But, he also required that each food group had its own fork. At the time we did not realize we were dealing with OCD, so accommodated it, not knowing better, thinking he was just quirky. He also used to have a fear of someone, or something, hiding in bizarre places. He would not only check (semi) normal places, like showers and closets, but would check drawers. Eventually, he started worrying things were going to come out of the shower drain. He didn't seem to know what these " things " were, but he was frightened of them. Once again, we didn't know it was OCD, so chalked it up to childhood fears, but realized it was a bit extreme. As he matured, he outgrew so much of that, but the OCD changed too. His concerns and fears are more mature, just as he is. Today, we went to get the H1N1 vaccine (doctor's office finally got some in). He volunteered to go first, and was literally smiling while they gave it to him. I think his fear of it was so overwhelming that, for him, getting the shot, relieved some of his worry. I knew he had been worried, but that was a revelation of just how worried he's been. I'm glad the ERP has helped Autumn. It helped Josh to overcome a lot too. He also take Melatonin to help him sleep. Night time it always worse for him, with nothing to keep his mind occupied. I hope you see an improvement for her at bedtime too. Like you, we held off on meds until it got so bad he couldn't leave the house (ocd related bathroom issues). It was a last resort for us too, but have to say, it turned out to be a HUGE blessing. It gave him his life back. He's now on meds for the second time, at age 17. I hope someday he can live without them, but if he can't, I'm glad they are available. BJ > > Hello! > > I keep meaning to formally " introduce " myself but the thought of the time > it'll take to type everything out that's going through my head keeps me from > sitting down to do it! (watch out, this is gonna be long! lol) I've been > reading everyone's emails since I joined a few months ago but have only > posted twice I think. > > > > My name is , I am a wife, mother to three children, freelance flutist, > 2nd generation homeschooler and music therapist in training (will be > certified following a 6 month 40 hr/week internship that starts this > January). My children are a daughter age 9, a son age 7 and another son age > 2. My daughter, Autumn, has had OCD it seems her entire life, beginning > with a need for specifically arranging her toys and food (food couldn't > touch) when she was just a toddler and starting to exhibit rituals (that we > noticed) at bedtime when she was around 3 or 4 years old - Tapping her > bedroom door in a certain pattern, reciting " no bad shadows, no bad > monsters " 3 times when she laid down in her bed, etc. > > > > We have been able to keep Autumn's OCD mostly under control until now > through cognitive-behavioral therapy done at home, without medication or > seeing a therapist, only because of the psychology training I have had, but > we have recently had huge upheaval in our lives because of devastating > financial losses we had last spring and in fact have had to move in with > relatives temporarily. Our daughter's OCD has increased so much as a result > that I think it's time to get some medication for bedtime. She has had such > a high number of complete meltdowns in the last couple of months, she's not > getting enough sleep because she lays in bed with her eyes open in fear, and > none of the rest of the family can get any sleep either when she has a panic > attack. > > > > Autumn's OCD has always revolved around bedtime. When she was younger she > would also become anxious during the day to the point of panic attack or > tantrum if her toys weren't in specific order, her food touched, or she > didn't know exactly what the schedule for the next day was going to be. She > also was very agitated by things like the hall light switches because they > couldn't both be up or down at the same time. These obsessions have > gradually become eliminated over the years as we've worked with her on > recognizing that if she stands up to the fear/anxiety (and tells her head > " NO! " ) she can eventually overcome or at least successfully manage the > obsessions But the bedtime issues are much worse. We've got the rituals > pretty much eliminated, but the fears remain. > > > > I think the best way to describe the bedtime problem is to relay what she > " sees " at night. Two weeks ago she drew very detailed, specific pictures of > all the monsters she imagines and told me fully developed stories about > them. There are monsters that live underground and want to kidnap her. > Nobody else, only her. They cannot appear in the light, so they wait until > its dark and they will grab her and take her underground where the head > monster will lock her up in chains and torture her. They have a special > green fire that can never go out, otherwise any other kind of light hurts > them. There are two tiny flying monsters that watch her at night, waiting > for the room to get dark enough to call the other monsters out to get her. > There are also two monsters living under the toilet that can only come out > to grab her when she flushes the toilet and opens the portal - they want to > get her but always give her a " chance " to get away if she can wash her hands > and get out the door before they count to a certain number (she didn't say > the number). There is also a monster living outside the bathroom door who > can only wake up at night and only when the toilet flushes - he climbs up a > ladder to see if it's her or someone else and if it's not her he just climbs > back down and goes to sleep, otherwise he's going to try to climb in the > window to grab her.. And this is all a very shortened version of what she > told me she sees/imagines! And of course she knows full well that it's all > in her head and can't possibly be real, but she FEELS it's real, and that's > what matters. And as I'm sure you all well know from experience - this is > WAY beyond the " normal " fear of the dark or monsters-under-the-bed phases > that kids go through. She comes running out of the bedroom screaming in > heart-wrenching fear, heart pounding, and can become completely hysterical > when she has to go back to bed. She has a teddy bear that glows in the dark > and changes colors that she relies on to keep the dark at bay just enough > that the monsters can't get her (her brother bought it for her 2 years ago > for Christmas because he felt sorry for her and her fear of the dark). > Right now her panic attacks are so easily triggered, full blown and > long-lasting that we haven't been able to keep the bear from her but we've > been trying to convince her to go for longer and longer periods with it > turned off. > > > > We've been able to get the monster-in-the-toilet mostly under control during > the daytime by helping her to stay longer and longer in the bathroom after > the toilet's been flushed instead of running out of there in terror, but the > bedtime monsters have been much more difficult. And unfortunately those > monsters have begun to pop up in the day now too. Autumn admitted to me a > few days ago that she has begun to take cold showers sometimes because she > thinks the monsters and their green fire have discovered a way to come > through the water pipes if the water is hot enough. She sadly told me that > she knows it doesn't make any sense that they can bring fire through water, > but she just can't help it. Today she spent 20 minutes standing at the door > of the shower, trying to will herself to turn the hot water on and finally > broke down crying, asking me to turn the hot water on for her. When I did, > she started to scream and hide behind me but I grabbed her arm to keep her > next to me and in return she grabbed my arm and held on to me as though she > was trying to keep her own self from pulling away; shaking, eyes wide. She > is trying SO hard to face her fears and is so intelligent and educated/aware > of how this OCD all works, it's both incredible and heartbreaking to see her > fight. :-( > > > > Exposure therapy has worked the best for her with all her > obsessions/rituals. The nighttime monsters have been the most resistant to > it, but she's been trying it with that too, self-initiating a plan to see > how many nights in a row she can force herself to stay in her bed to face > the fears instead of running out/away screaming. She's nearly to a week > tonight and is sooo excited about it! :-) She cries and resists actually > going to bed but this week she's managed to stay in there once she can get > herself in there. Right now it seems like she will come through it even > without medication, but it's been a wild up and down ride for these last few > months, so I don't know yet whether this is actually going to last. I do > also have some ideas forming for some music+relaxation+imaging sessions that > I hope will help her sleep. We'll see. > > > > By the way, I'm not against medication, I just prefer to use it as a sort of > last resort, especially since my husband, Autumn and I are all > allergic/sensitive to everything and have a history of experiencing whatever > adverse side effects various medications carry! > > > > Ramey > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 Hi , I read your story and it just broke my heart:( My son is 14 years old and has recently diagnosed with OCD - fear or germs. I took him to a therapist in July 2009 and began CBT. I too was against medication and wanted to do without it. Something happened and everything spirled out of control. My son, Nick, has not attended school since 09/27/09 due to his OCD. He is now on a antidepressent No improvement yet - only 3 weeks. He sleeps only every other night, he hears voices and is very sad during the night. The Dr. claims the meds are not doing this - I disagree. OCD is a horrible disease that affects so many children today - it's heartbreaking. When I first was reading up on OCD, I did read where therapy was the best " medicine " to treat it. After seeing my son's reaction to the drugs, I do believe that the therapy is the best medicine. I am looking forward to Friday...we are seeing a new therapist. God Bless and stay strong! Kerrie ________________________________ To: Sent: Fri, October 30, 2009 2:54:36 AM Subject: Our Story Hello! I keep meaning to formally " introduce " myself but the thought of the time it'll take to type everything out that's going through my head keeps me from sitting down to do it! (watch out, this is gonna be long! lol) I've been reading everyone's emails since I joined a few months ago but have only posted twice I think. My name is , I am a wife, mother to three children, freelance flutist, 2nd generation homeschooler and music therapist in training (will be certified following a 6 month 40 hr/week internship that starts this January). My children are a daughter age 9, a son age 7 and another son age 2. My daughter, Autumn, has had OCD it seems her entire life, beginning with a need for specifically arranging her toys and food (food couldn't touch) when she was just a toddler and starting to exhibit rituals (that we noticed) at bedtime when she was around 3 or 4 years old - Tapping her bedroom door in a certain pattern, reciting " no bad shadows, no bad monsters " 3 times when she laid down in her bed, etc. We have been able to keep Autumn's OCD mostly under control until now through cognitive-behaviora l therapy done at home, without medication or seeing a therapist, only because of the psychology training I have had, but we have recently had huge upheaval in our lives because of devastating financial losses we had last spring and in fact have had to move in with relatives temporarily. Our daughter's OCD has increased so much as a result that I think it's time to get some medication for bedtime. She has had such a high number of complete meltdowns in the last couple of months, she's not getting enough sleep because she lays in bed with her eyes open in fear, and none of the rest of the family can get any sleep either when she has a panic attack. Autumn's OCD has always revolved around bedtime. When she was younger she would also become anxious during the day to the point of panic attack or tantrum if her toys weren't in specific order, her food touched, or she didn't know exactly what the schedule for the next day was going to be. She also was very agitated by things like the hall light switches because they couldn't both be up or down at the same time. These obsessions have gradually become eliminated over the years as we've worked with her on recognizing that if she stands up to the fear/anxiety (and tells her head " NO! " ) she can eventually overcome or at least successfully manage the obsessions But the bedtime issues are much worse. We've got the rituals pretty much eliminated, but the fears remain. I think the best way to describe the bedtime problem is to relay what she " sees " at night. Two weeks ago she drew very detailed, specific pictures of all the monsters she imagines and told me fully developed stories about them. There are monsters that live underground and want to kidnap her. Nobody else, only her. They cannot appear in the light, so they wait until its dark and they will grab her and take her underground where the head monster will lock her up in chains and torture her. They have a special green fire that can never go out, otherwise any other kind of light hurts them. There are two tiny flying monsters that watch her at night, waiting for the room to get dark enough to call the other monsters out to get her. There are also two monsters living under the toilet that can only come out to grab her when she flushes the toilet and opens the portal - they want to get her but always give her a " chance " to get away if she can wash her hands and get out the door before they count to a certain number (she didn't say the number). There is also a monster living outside the bathroom door who can only wake up at night and only when the toilet flushes - he climbs up a ladder to see if it's her or someone else and if it's not her he just climbs back down and goes to sleep, otherwise he's going to try to climb in the window to grab her.. And this is all a very shortened version of what she told me she sees/imagines! And of course she knows full well that it's all in her head and can't possibly be real, but she FEELS it's real, and that's what matters. And as I'm sure you all well know from experience - this is WAY beyond the " normal " fear of the dark or monsters-under- the-bed phases that kids go through. She comes running out of the bedroom screaming in heart-wrenching fear, heart pounding, and can become completely hysterical when she has to go back to bed. She has a teddy bear that glows in the dark and changes colors that she relies on to keep the dark at bay just enough that the monsters can't get her (her brother bought it for her 2 years ago for Christmas because he felt sorry for her and her fear of the dark). Right now her panic attacks are so easily triggered, full blown and long-lasting that we haven't been able to keep the bear from her but we've been trying to convince her to go for longer and longer periods with it turned off. We've been able to get the monster-in-the- toilet mostly under control during the daytime by helping her to stay longer and longer in the bathroom after the toilet's been flushed instead of running out of there in terror, but the bedtime monsters have been much more difficult. And unfortunately those monsters have begun to pop up in the day now too. Autumn admitted to me a few days ago that she has begun to take cold showers sometimes because she thinks the monsters and their green fire have discovered a way to come through the water pipes if the water is hot enough. She sadly told me that she knows it doesn't make any sense that they can bring fire through water, but she just can't help it. Today she spent 20 minutes standing at the door of the shower, trying to will herself to turn the hot water on and finally broke down crying, asking me to turn the hot water on for her. When I did, she started to scream and hide behind me but I grabbed her arm to keep her next to me and in return she grabbed my arm and held on to me as though she was trying to keep her own self from pulling away; shaking, eyes wide. She is trying SO hard to face her fears and is so intelligent and educated/aware of how this OCD all works, it's both incredible and heartbreaking to see her fight. :-( Exposure therapy has worked the best for her with all her obsessions/rituals. The nighttime monsters have been the most resistant to it, but she's been trying it with that too, self-initiating a plan to see how many nights in a row she can force herself to stay in her bed to face the fears instead of running out/away screaming. She's nearly to a week tonight and is sooo excited about it! :-) She cries and resists actually going to bed but this week she's managed to stay in there once she can get herself in there. Right now it seems like she will come through it even without medication, but it's been a wild up and down ride for these last few months, so I don't know yet whether this is actually going to last. I do also have some ideas forming for some music+relaxation+ imaging sessions that I hope will help her sleep. We'll see. By the way, I'm not against medication, I just prefer to use it as a sort of last resort, especially since my husband, Autumn and I are all allergic/sensitive to everything and have a history of experiencing whatever adverse side effects various medications carry! Ramey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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