today's apt.

[Guest guest]

Today I went to a licensed clinical social worker to discuss ways to help

Lilly with her ocd. (for the interim before getting to see Dr. Lee

Fitzgibbons in Oct.) It felt like a waste of money. I really didn’t feel

like he understood OCD at all. (textbook yes, real life, no) He pretty

much told me to stop cold turkey with any reassurances I give her. I can’t

just rip the rug out from under Lilly (12) like that. She feels so

abandoned if we just leave her to suffer on her own and she withdraws from

the world and goes into a depression when I’ve tried this in the past. It

leaves her utterly hopeless and wanting to die. The social worker suggested

that she is doing what she is doing because she wants attention. It

couldn’t be further from the truth. We are a VERY close family that spends

an inordinate amount of quality time together under normal circumstances.

Lilly wants to be independent and normal. She does not choose this behavior

because she feels it benefits her. It’s destroying her. So sad.

I’m still working on reassuring her less and less and I think in a couple

days I might try the tickets once I’ve worked it out in my mind. Lilly had

a better day yesterday during the day than she has had for a while. (2nd

day down to 100mg of Zoloft from 125mg—how long before the reduction might

make a difference if it is going to?) Nighttime was not good. ¾ of the

time getting ready for bed is spent avoiding the things that distress her

and the other quarter of the time is spent being distressed. Then she woke

in the night and was distressed for another hour trying to get back into bed

and have it feel right. Poor kid.

I can’t wait to get into Dr. Fitzgibbons and I really hope she is able to

help Lilly in a way that is compassionate and helpful.

Shaw