Re: Help... guidance needed please

October 22, 2009

I feel for you, your son, and your family. Where do you live? Are there other

therapists you could take your son to? You need someone who uses exposure and

response prevention to treat pediatric OCD. Have you talked with your

pediatrician or looked into a psychiatrist who treats kids, but may not be an

OCD specialist? Your son may well need medications to bring his anxiety level

down to a point where he can participate in therapy. There are a number of

books you can get either at your public library or on Amazon. " Up and Down the

Worry Hill " by Aureen Pinto Wagner is a good one for kids, so he will know he is

not alone and what is happening to him has a name. Tamar Chansky's " Freeing

Your Child From OCD " is a great book to explain OCD to other family members and

learn about what to expect and how to cope. Dr. March's " Talking Back to

OCD " is more of a therapy workbook/manual for ERP. There is also " What to Do

When Your Brain Gets Stuck? "

It's a workbook to use with kids.

Holding it together at school and falling apart at home (the safe place) is

typical for kids with OCD. If he is yelling and screaming, but not breaking

things or hurting himself or anyone else, the best thing may be to disengage.

Go somewhere else and tell him you love him and will talk to him when he calms

down. If you think he will hurt himself or break things, you may want to try

using a " bear hug " . Sit behind him with him on your lap and hang on tight. Do

not talk or try to reason. You are just containing him until he can get himself

back together. When a child is this far out of control, he/she cannot hear your

advice or think rationally. Our 9 yr old daughter has OCD with contamination

obsessions and has had many rages, so I have done plenty of bear hugs and have

learned/am learning how to disengage when she is screaming. She is currently on

160 mg Zoloft daily and doing a lot better; she had ERP last year and over the

summer. She still

has a ways to go and does not want to work, but she is quite functional now,

which was not true over the summer.

If I were you, I would lock up Lysol, Germex, and even soap. Lysol, in

particular, is very unsafe for him to use on himself or his clothes. We had to

lock up soap this summer as our daughter would run from sink to sink using more

and more and would not rinse it off. she had such bad skin irritation that she

looked like she had a bad burn or sunburn. If he will let you, try using

Aquaphor on his skin as many times a day as you can. It is a vaseline like

cream that saved our daughter's skin--and we still use it as needed. We also

switched from regular soap to soap-free body washes and Dove.

In general, accommodation (ie, making changes in your routine to acccomodate the

OCD and prevent rages, doing extra laundry, allowing him to shun his brother are

not helpful as the OCD will only get more demanding, but you will not be able to

stop all of these without help and a lowering of his anxiety level.) Is there

anything specific going on at school that is increasing his stress level? You

may want to talk to his teacher or the school guidance counselor about his

problems. We chose not to do this last year, and our daughter had a really

tough year. This year she is in a new school, we met with her teacher and

guidance counselor just before school started, and our daughter has even

explained to some of her friends a little bit about her OCD.

You will find a lot of help and support here. Also try the OCD Foundation

website. I would also explain to your older son what you think is happening.

Not understanding/not knowing is so much scarier. If you can arrange for him to

have time away (at a friends house, with one parent, or at grandparents house),

this may really help him. We have a younger daughter who really struggled

seeing her sister's rages and odd behavior, and we found that time away really

helped her stress levels.

Also, know that it will not be like this forever. Your son can get better, and

your family can heal. There will be ups and downs, but that is true of many

things in life. Finally, we found that our daughter often fought us because we

were easier to fight than the OCD.

Hang in there and keep coming here.

(mom with OCD, 9 yo daughter with OCD)

>

> Subject: Help... guidance needed please

> To:

> Date: Thursday, October 22, 2009, 9:15 PM

> I have a soon to be 8 year old boy

> with OCD. Unfortunately he saw a therapist a year ago

> who thought it might be OCD but I was not pleased with his

> lack of interaction with my son (he did all his talking to

> me with my son in the room as if he wasn't there). My

> son had had bouts before, which it took time for me to

> realize might be OCD and the same thing happened after the

> visit to the therapist... our life was out of sync, we were

> not able to follow our usual routine etc... and as soon as

> it got back to normal, his symptoms went away (or as I

> realize now, he was able to hide them). His school

> year is much more stressful than last year and he's had

> other stressors that I guess have just thrown him into full

> blown OCD. The first available appointment with a

> psychiatrist specializing in OCD is January (they'll call if

> a cancellation is available). In the meantime, I/we

> are at our wits end, not knowing how to cope or what to

> do. He is a germapobe of sorts, does the hand washing

> and

> I have noticed a ritual of going from one sink to the next

> in the house. He also runs back to the house just

> before we leave for school. So far there has been no

> acting out at school, but when he comes home he melts down

> completely. He has screamed and yelled and ever cursed

> at me. He changes clothes constantly leaving what he wore on

> the floor because apparantly they are " contaminated " .

> He goes through lysol, germex and household hand and

> dishsoap pouring it on his clothes if he feels he

> must. He rubs soap on himself and doesn't even rinse

> it off. He has begun bathing 2 or 3 times a day. We

> are often late for school because it takes him so much time

> to get out the door to school... It goes on and on. He

> went from having " little " issues to this unmanagable basket

> case .... I am wondering what if anything we can do in the

> meantime? January is a long way off. My 9 year

> old is taking the brunt of things because my younger son has

> deemed him the " germiest " and will not touch

> anything he's touched, sit at the table with him or on

> furniture he has sat on. It is quickly taking it's

> toll. HELP PLEASE

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Our list archives feature may be accessed at:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//

> by scrolling down to the archives calendar . Our links

> may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//links

> . Our files may be accessed at

> http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//files

> .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ),

Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D.

> (http://www2.massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html

> ). You may ask a question of any of these mental health

> professionals by inserting the words " Ask Dr.(insert name) "

> in the subject line of a post to the list. Our list

> moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and

> Barb Nesrallah. Subscription issues or

> suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list

> administrator, at louisharkins@...

> . Our group and related groups are listed

> at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links

> . OCF treatment providers list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php

> .

> NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

>

http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugporta\

l

> . OCF recommended reading list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocd-oc-spectrum-disorders-book-list.html

> .

>

October 22, 2009

How supportive is the school? Can stress at school be reduced?

I would try to get a diagnosis as soon as possible from a doctor.

So you can try some school accomodations like a shorter day.

I hate to hear about the after school meltdown. My daughter

had them too and it lead to school refusal.

My daughter turns out has a non reading learning disorder.

I would have never guessed that she is verbally gifted.

Another idea is to get a nueropysch evaluation to see if there

are learning issues that are increasing his stress.

But spread out the testing half a day once a week don't do it all

at once it is too stressful that way.

Another idea that works for us is to structure the

time at home. And praise sticking to the plan.

This helps crowd out the OCD. If the OCD is very severe

behavioral methods won't work without medication. But they

will eventually.

My strategy would be to reduce the school day by one hour and

see if the symptoms are reduced. Then work on reducing the

OCD behaviors thru behavioral methods. If the stress is still too

how reduce the school day again.

Start with trying to calm your son down (no afterschool meltdowns). Then it may

be possible to limit the time spent on OCD rituals

with a reward system (small rewards, stickers, praise).

The important thing though is your son has to show up to school on time and to

stay a partial day.

You do not want to let him stay home ever unless he has a illness !!!!!

Daily after school meltdowns at home is not a way to live.

I am so sorry that he is feeling so stressed.

Good luck in getting help.

Pam

>

> I have a soon to be 8 year old boy with OCD. Unfortunately he saw a therapist

a year ago who thought it might be OCD but I was not pleased with his lack of

interaction with my son (he did all his talking to me with my son in the room as

if he wasn't there). My son had had bouts before, which it took time for me to

realize might be OCD and the same thing happened after the visit to the

therapist... our life was out of sync, we were not able to follow our usual

routine etc... and as soon as it got back to normal, his symptoms went away (or

as I realize now, he was able to hide them). His school year is much more

stressful than last year and he's had other stressors that I guess have just

thrown him into full blown OCD. The first available appointment with a

psychiatrist specializing in OCD is January (they'll call if a cancellation is

available). In the meantime, I/we are at our wits end, not knowing how to cope

or what to do. He is a germapobe of sorts, does the hand washing and I have

noticed a ritual of going from one sink to the next in the house. He also runs

back to the house just before we leave for school. So far there has been no

acting out at school, but when he comes home he melts down completely. He has

screamed and yelled and ever cursed at me. He changes clothes constantly leaving

what he wore on the floor because apparantly they are " contaminated " . He goes

through lysol, germex and household hand and dishsoap pouring it on his clothes

if he feels he must. He rubs soap on himself and doesn't even rinse it off. He

has begun bathing 2 or 3 times a day. We are often late for school because it

takes him so much time to get out the door to school... It goes on and on. He

went from having " little " issues to this unmanagable basket case .... I am

wondering what if anything we can do in the meantime? January is a long way

off. My 9 year old is taking the brunt of things because my younger son has

deemed him the " germiest " and will not touch anything he's touched, sit at the

table with him or on furniture he has sat on. It is quickly taking it's toll.

HELP PLEASE

>

October 22, 2009

Thank You for responding. I have begun hiding the cleaning items, but he seeks

out alternatives, something I'm working on. As for school, He is an A student,

but the class size has increased this year and I think he is overwhelmed by the

mere size of the class. My husband and I opted not to discuss it with his

teacher until we had guidance from a therapist, but I suppose I may have no

choice with the appointment being so far off. I will get the books you

suggested. thank you. I know this is also an adult illness, but does a child

who has it inevitably carry it into adulthood? Is it cureable or simply

(hopefully) manageable?

>

> >

> > Subject: Help... guidance needed please

> > To:

> > Date: Thursday, October 22, 2009, 9:15 PM

> > I have a soon to be 8 year old boy

> > with OCD. Unfortunately he saw a therapist a year ago

> > who thought it might be OCD but I was not pleased with his

> > lack of interaction with my son (he did all his talking to

> > me with my son in the room as if he wasn't there). My

> > son had had bouts before, which it took time for me to

> > realize might be OCD and the same thing happened after the

> > visit to the therapist... our life was out of sync, we were

> > not able to follow our usual routine etc... and as soon as

> > it got back to normal, his symptoms went away (or as I

> > realize now, he was able to hide them). His school

> > year is much more stressful than last year and he's had

> > other stressors that I guess have just thrown him into full

> > blown OCD. The first available appointment with a

> > psychiatrist specializing in OCD is January (they'll call if

> > a cancellation is available). In the meantime, I/we

> > are at our wits end, not knowing how to cope or what to

> > do. He is a germapobe of sorts, does the hand washing

> > and

> > I have noticed a ritual of going from one sink to the next

> > in the house. He also runs back to the house just

> > before we leave for school. So far there has been no

> > acting out at school, but when he comes home he melts down

> > completely. He has screamed and yelled and ever cursed

> > at me. He changes clothes constantly leaving what he wore on

> > the floor because apparantly they are " contaminated " .

> > He goes through lysol, germex and household hand and

> > dishsoap pouring it on his clothes if he feels he

> > must. He rubs soap on himself and doesn't even rinse

> > it off. He has begun bathing 2 or 3 times a day. We

> > are often late for school because it takes him so much time

> > to get out the door to school... It goes on and on. He

> > went from having " little " issues to this unmanagable basket

> > case .... I am wondering what if anything we can do in the

> > meantime? January is a long way off. My 9 year

> > old is taking the brunt of things because my younger son has

> > deemed him the " germiest " and will not touch

> > anything he's touched, sit at the table with him or on

> > furniture he has sat on. It is quickly taking it's

> > toll. HELP PLEASE

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > Our list archives feature may be accessed at:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//

> > by scrolling down to the archives calendar . Our links

> > may be accessed at

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//links

> > . Our files may be accessed at

> > http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//files

> > .

> > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ),

Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D.

> > (http://www2.massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html

> > ). You may ask a question of any of these mental health

> > professionals by inserting the words " Ask Dr.(insert name) "

> > in the subject line of a post to the list. Our list

> > moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and

> > Barb Nesrallah. Subscription issues or

> > suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list

> > administrator, at louisharkins@...

> > . Our group and related groups are listed

> > at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links

> > . OCF treatment providers list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php

> > .

> > NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

> >

http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugporta\

l

> > . OCF recommended reading list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocd-oc-spectrum-disorders-book-list.html

> > .

> >

October 22, 2009

Thank you for responding...

He is an A student who has always loved school, The class size increased this

year and it seems that the teacher has not had a good grip on structure so far.

He has more anxiety about missing school or not going to school, so I don't know

that shorter days would work in his case. I have mentioned to his teacher that

he is having a lot more anxiety from school this year but she doesn't seem

overly concerned. I don't want to use terms until I get a firm diagnosis (I have

no doubts although it may be more than OCD as well)

Thanx again.

> >

> > I have a soon to be 8 year old boy with OCD. Unfortunately he saw a

therapist a year ago who thought it might be OCD but I was not pleased with his

lack of interaction with my son (he did all his talking to me with my son in the

room as if he wasn't there). My son had had bouts before, which it took time

for me to realize might be OCD and the same thing happened after the visit to

the therapist... our life was out of sync, we were not able to follow our usual