Re: Re: Help... guidance needed please

[Guest guest]

Hi,

My eleven-year-old was diagnosed this summer with OCD. Back then, I was

frightened out of my mind by her behavior (washing hands raw, lots of

contamination fears, bad thoughts, unable to sleep at night, strange

blinking rituals, etc. etc.).

I called our local Children's Hospital where I would have had to wait six

weeks for an appointment with the Anxiety Clinic. Fortunately, when I kind

of flipped out because I knew we could not make it six weeks with her

behaving like that, they had a list of a few therapists they recommended who

were not with the hospital, so I got an appointment the next week with one

of these therapists and we've been pretty happy. I would advise you to make

a lot of calls (to your pediatrician, to other therapists, to your local

Children's Hospital, etc. etc.)

The good news is that things have greatly calmed down, although the OCD

waxes and wanes. Right now, my daughter is definitely more anxious than she

was a few weeks ago, but it's still manageable and much better than when we

started off.

From what I know, Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Exposure Response

Prevention, the most effective therapies for OCD, can get rid of OCD in a

small number of people, but in most simply make it manageable and livable.

So take hope in knowing that things will get better!

In practice, you will learn that while it seems o.k. to accommodate your

child's fears and do whatever it takes to help him, this is not helpful in

the long run. Our kids need to learn how to " fight back " to OCD by using

coping strategies and being exposed to things that scare them.

To give you an example of how the therapy works, my daughter was very scared

of toilet cleaner. So the therapist started out by showing her a bottle of

toilet cleaner, which she put in front of her on a table, and letting her

look at it. Her anxiety was very high to begin with, but then decreased as

time went by. During the week before the next appointment, we did the same

thing at home several times. By the end of the week she could look at the

bottle with very little anxiety. Then we moved on to touching the bottle.

Again, very high anxiety to begin with, then not so much. Gradually we

built up to where she can now clean toilets quite easily and is no longer

worried about them.

Obviously, your kiddo has different issues and his therapy might look

somewhat different, but the basic principles are the same. And of course

there is always medication.

Best of luck and hang in there. We've all been where you are, and I think

many of us can attest to the fact that there is hope out there.

Meanwhile, I would definitely read some of the books that have been

suggested to help you to cope and begin doing a few things to help.

>

>

>

> Thank You for responding. I have begun hiding the cleaning items, but he

> seeks out alternatives, something I'm working on. As for school, He is an A

> student, but the class size has increased this year and I think he is

> overwhelmed by the mere size of the class. My husband and I opted not to

> discuss it with his teacher until we had guidance from a therapist, but I

> suppose I may have no choice with the appointment being so far off. I will

> get the books you suggested. thank you. I know this is also an adult

> illness, but does a child who has it inevitably carry it into adulthood? Is

> it cureable or simply (hopefully) manageable?

>

>

>

> >

> > >

>

> > > Subject: Help... guidance needed please

> > > To: <%40yahoogroups.com>

> > > Date: Thursday, October 22, 2009, 9:15 PM

> > > I have a soon to be 8 year old boy

> > > with OCD. Unfortunately he saw a therapist a year ago

> > > who thought it might be OCD but I was not pleased with his

> > > lack of interaction with my son (he did all his talking to

> > > me with my son in the room as if he wasn't there). My

> > > son had had bouts before, which it took time for me to

> > > realize might be OCD and the same thing happened after the

> > > visit to the therapist... our life was out of sync, we were

> > > not able to follow our usual routine etc... and as soon as

> > > it got back to normal, his symptoms went away (or as I

> > > realize now, he was able to hide them). His school

> > > year is much more stressful than last year and he's had

> > > other stressors that I guess have just thrown him into full

> > > blown OCD. The first available appointment with a

> > > psychiatrist specializing in OCD is January (they'll call if

> > > a cancellation is available). In the meantime, I/we

> > > are at our wits end, not knowing how to cope or what to

> > > do. He is a germapobe of sorts, does the hand washing

> > > and

> > > I have noticed a ritual of going from one sink to the next

> > > in the house. He also runs back to the house just

> > > before we leave for school. So far there has been no

> > > acting out at school, but when he comes home he melts down

> > > completely. He has screamed and yelled and ever cursed

> > > at me. He changes clothes constantly leaving what he wore on

> > > the floor because apparantly they are " contaminated " .

> > > He goes through lysol, germex and household hand and

> > > dishsoap pouring it on his clothes if he feels he

> > > must. He rubs soap on himself and doesn't even rinse

> > > it off. He has begun bathing 2 or 3 times a day. We

> > > are often late for school because it takes him so much time

> > > to get out the door to school... It goes on and on. He

> > > went from having " little " issues to this unmanagable basket

> > > case .... I am wondering what if anything we can do in the

> > > meantime? January is a long way off. My 9 year

> > > old is taking the brunt of things because my younger son has

> > > deemed him the " germiest " and will not touch

> > > anything he's touched, sit at the table with him or on

> > > furniture he has sat on. It is quickly taking it's

> > > toll. HELP PLEASE

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ------------------------------------

> > >

> > > Our list archives feature may be accessed at:

> http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//

> > > by scrolling down to the archives calendar . Our links

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> > > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com),

Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

> http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D.

> > > (http://www2.massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html

> > > ). You may ask a question of any of these mental health

> > > professionals by inserting the words " Ask Dr.(insert name) "

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> > > .

> > > NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

> > >

>

http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugporta\

l

> > > . OCF recommended reading list may be viewed at

> http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocd-oc-spectrum-disorders-book-list.html

> > > .

> > >

[Guest guest]

Many people with OCD have worse times and better ones. I had very significant

symptoms in my early-mid 20s when I had just finished college and moved to NYC,

over a hundred miles from my parents. After being on medication for a number of

years and later some exposure and response prevention therapy, I was med-free

for over 10 yrs. I am now on low-dose Zoloft, primarily due to depression over

my daughter's issues this past summer, but I think it is decreasing anxiety for

me as well. for a couple of years in my mid-20s, my symptoms were severe enough

that I did not cook, spent a long time checking things (my primary compulsion),

and had a hard time traveling (to visit family). Since then, I have functioned

quite well. I still recognize my OCD symptoms, but when I have told several

people about my OCD after talking to them about my daughter, they have generally

been surprised to hear that I have it too.

Hope this helps. Hang in there.

>

> Subject: Re: Help... guidance needed please

> To:

> Date: Thursday, October 22, 2009, 11:29 PM

>

> Thank You for responding. I have begun hiding the cleaning

> items, but he seeks out alternatives, something I'm working

> on.  As for school, He is an A student, but the class

> size has increased this year and I think he is overwhelmed

> by the mere size of the class.  My husband and I opted

> not to discuss it with his teacher until we had guidance

> from a therapist, but I suppose I may have no choice with

> the appointment being so far off.  I will get the books

> you suggested. thank you.  I know this is also an adult

> illness, but does a child who has it inevitably carry 

> it into adulthood?  Is it cureable or simply

> (hopefully) manageable?

>

>

> >

> > >

> > > Subject: Help... guidance

> needed please

> > > To:

> > > Date: Thursday, October 22, 2009, 9:15 PM

> > > I have a soon to be 8 year old boy

> > > with OCD.  Unfortunately he saw a therapist a

> year ago

> > > who thought it might be OCD but I was not pleased

> with his

> > > lack of interaction with my son (he did all his

> talking to

> > > me with my son in the room as if he wasn't

> there).  My

> > > son had had bouts before, which it took time for

> me to

> > > realize might be OCD and the same thing happened

> after the

> > > visit to the therapist... our life was out of

> sync, we were

> > > not able to follow our usual routine etc... and

> as soon as

> > > it got back to normal, his symptoms went away (or

> as I

> > > realize now, he was able to hide them).  His

> school

> > > year is much more stressful than last year and

> he's had

> > > other stressors that I guess have just thrown him

> into full

> > > blown OCD.  The first available appointment with

> a

> > > psychiatrist specializing in OCD is January

> (they'll call if

> > > a cancellation is available).  In the meantime,

> I/we

> > > are at our wits end, not knowing how to cope or

> what to

> > > do.  He is a germapobe of sorts, does the hand

> washing

> > > and

> > >  I have noticed a ritual of going from one

> sink to the next

> > > in the house.  He also runs back to the house

> just

> > > before we leave for school.  So far there has

> been no

> > > acting out at school, but when he comes home he

> melts down

> > > completely.  He has screamed and yelled and ever

> cursed

> > > at me. He changes clothes constantly leaving what

> he wore on

> > > the floor because apparantly they are

> " contaminated " . 

> > > He goes through lysol, germex and household hand

> and

> > > dishsoap pouring it on his clothes if he feels

> he

> > > must.  He rubs soap on himself and doesn't even

> rinse

> > > it off.  He has begun bathing 2 or 3 times a

> day. We

> > > are often late for school because it takes him so

> much time

> > > to get out the door to school... It goes on and

> on.  He

> > > went from having " little " issues to this

> unmanagable basket

> > > case .... I am wondering what if anything we can

> do in the

> > > meantime?  January is a long way off.  My 9

> year

> > > old is taking the brunt of things because my

> younger son has

> > > deemed him the " germiest " and will not touch

> > >  anything he's touched, sit at the table

> with him or on

> > > furniture he has sat on.  It is quickly taking

> it's

> > > toll.  HELP PLEASE

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ------------------------------------

> > >

> > > Our list archives feature may be accessed at: 

> http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//

> > > by scrolling down to the archives calendar . 

> Our links

> > > may be accessed at

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//links

> > > .  Our files may be accessed at

> > > http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//files

> > > .

> > > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ),

Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D.

> > > (http://www2.massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html

> > > ). You may ask a question of any of these mental

> health

> > > professionals by inserting the words " Ask

> Dr.(insert name) "

> > > in the subject line of a post to the list.  Our

> list

> > > moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ

> Closner, and

> > > Barb Nesrallah.   Subscription issues or

> > > suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins,

> list

> > > administrator, at louisharkins@...

> > > .   Our group and related groups are listed

> > > at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links

> > > .  OCF treatment providers list may be viewed at

> http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php

> > > .

> > > NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

> > >

http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugporta\

l

> > > .  OCF recommended reading list may be viewed at

> http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocd-oc-spectrum-disorders-book-list.html

> > > .

> > >

[Guest guest]

I often use the terms anxiety disorder or serious anxiety problem rather than

OCD. If you then describe your son's symptoms (if you need to, our daughter is

washing at school too, so we did need to), anyone familiar with OCD will know

what you are talking about without using the label and those who are not

familiar with it will not be scared off by the label.

>

> Subject: Re: Help... guidance needed please

> To:

> Date: Thursday, October 22, 2009, 11:35 PM

> Thank you for responding...

> He is an A student who has always loved school, The class

> size increased this year and it seems that the teacher has

> not had a good grip on structure so far.  He has more

> anxiety about missing school or not going to school, so I

> don't know that shorter days would work in his case.  I

> have mentioned to his teacher that he is having a lot more

> anxiety from school this year but she doesn't seem overly

> concerned. I don't want to use terms until I get a firm

> diagnosis (I have no doubts although it may be more than OCD

> as well)

> Thanx again.

>

> > >

> > > I have a soon to be 8 year old boy with

> OCD.  Unfortunately he saw a therapist a year ago who

> thought it might be OCD but I was not pleased with his lack

> of interaction with my son (he did all his talking to me

> with my son in the room as if he wasn't there).  My son

> had had bouts before, which it took time for me to realize

> might be OCD and the same thing happened after the visit to

> the therapist... our life was out of sync, we were not able

> to follow our usual routine etc... and as soon as it got

> back to normal, his symptoms went away (or as I realize now,

> he was able to hide them).  His school year is much

> more stressful than last year and he's had other stressors

> that I guess have just thrown him into full blown OCD. 

> The first available appointment with a psychiatrist

> specializing in OCD is January (they'll call if a

> cancellation is available).  In the meantime, I/we are

> at our wits end, not knowing how to cope or what to

> do.  He is a germapobe of sorts, does the hand washing

> and I have noticed a ritual of going from one sink to the

> next in the house.  He also runs back to the house just

> before we leave for school.  So far there has been no

> acting out at school, but when he comes home he melts down

> completely.  He has screamed and yelled and ever cursed

> at me. He changes clothes constantly leaving what he wore on

> the floor because apparantly they are " contaminated " . 

> He goes through lysol, germex and household hand and

> dishsoap pouring it on his clothes if he feels he

> must.  He rubs soap on himself and doesn't even rinse

> it off.  He has begun bathing 2 or 3 times a day. We

> are often late for school because it takes him so much time

> to get out the door to school... It goes on and on.  He

> went from having " little " issues to this unmanagable basket

> case .... I am wondering what if anything we can do in the

> meantime?  January is a long way off.  My 9 year

> old is taking the brunt of things because my younger son has

> deemed him the " germiest " and will not

> touch anything he's touched, sit at the table with him or

> on furniture he has sat on.  It is quickly taking it's

> toll.  HELP PLEASE

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Our list archives feature may be accessed at: 

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//

> by scrolling down to the archives calendar .  Our links

> may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//links

> .  Our files may be accessed at

> http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//files

> .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ),

Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D.

> (http://www2.massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html

> ). You may ask a question of any of these mental health

> professionals by inserting the words " Ask Dr.(insert name) "

> in the subject line of a post to the list.  Our list

> moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and

> Barb Nesrallah.   Subscription issues or

> suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list

> administrator, at louisharkins@...

> .   Our group and related groups are listed

> at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links

> .  OCF treatment providers list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php

> .

> NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

>

http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugporta\

l

> .  OCF recommended reading list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocd-oc-spectrum-disorders-book-list.html

> .

>

[Guest guest]

Although I also agree that children need to learn flexibility and how to handle

new situations, it sounds to me like your son is currently having a hard enough

time that asking for him to be switched to the other teacher is justified. If

his current teacher cannot control the classroom or has a bunch of acting out

kids, then your anxious child is likely to become increasingly anxious and to be

overlooked because he is " acting in " (obsessing/ falling apart at home) rather

than acting up in class.

I would really encourage trying to give your older son breaks from his brother.

I could just see my younger daughter's moods get lighter when she was away from

her sister this past spring and summer. It sounds awful to say, but we parents

have a hard enough time coping and not having anyone to talk to in person. Your

older son presumably cannot tell his friends what is going on at home and most

likely does not want or is not able to have them over to your house right now.

Anything in your schedule that you can cut out to take care of your kids and

yourself you should do. If you don't have to do it, don't. I always have a

hard time with this as I feel that I should contribute more to the PTA,

preschool, community volunteer activities, cook a homemade dinner, etc., but

sometimes you just can't. Keep meals and responsibilities simple and revise

what you think is essential. When my older daughter was at her worst, we let

her go to therapy in her

nightgown or bathrobe if that would get her in the door.

You might tell your husband that your son will not feel so isolated at school if

someone knows the basics of his problems. When one has OCD and is trying very

hard to hide it, it is extremely stressful. If you don't want to talk to the

teacher, is there a guidance counselor or school nurse you could talk to? This

would mean that someone has some understanding and that your son has a safe

person to go to if he needs to. I got a call from the school nurse last year

(when we had not talked to anyone at the school) because an aide seeing how red

my daughter's arms were sent her to the nurse. The nurse thought she might have

Fifth's Disease (which I think my younger daughter did have), but I told her

some of what was going on. My daughter was embarrassed to be sent to the nurse.

She did not want to explain what was going on, but did not know what to do, so I

was very glad that the nurse called me with her concerns. There are far more

people with OCD

out there than we realize because there is still too much stigma and people

hide their symptoms and diagnosis. My husband has talked to a work colleague

about our daughter only to find that this man has a child with trichotillomania

(compulsive hair pulling) and a former colleague has a child with OCD. These

are people who worked together for many years without knowing about each others'

kids.

Wishing you the best whatever you decide to do. Hang in there and you will get

through this.

(mom with OCD, 9 yo daughter with OCD)

>

> Subject: Re: Help... guidance needed please

> To:

> Date: Friday, October 23, 2009, 5:15 PM

>

> As for my older son, he is only 14 months older, but has

> always been very much the older brother... he is very

> intellectual and can understand it from that standpoint,

> however, he is still 9 emotionally and doesn't particularly

> like being shunned or feeling like we condone his being cast

> aside.  Some days he handles it better than others and

> I am doing everything in my power to praise him for how he

> is handling it and assuring him that I know it is not his

> fault and how sorry I am that he has to deal with it. 

> As for school... 1... yes he is having more bathroom

> breaks.  I mentioned to the teacher that his anxiety

> level has increased and she mentioned that he goes to the

> restroom more so I think she assumes he has stomach

> issues.  I do think the lack of control she has over

> the other children is taking it's toll on him.  His 1st

> grade teacher just took over another 2nd grade and they

> moved children into her room, I thought about requesting a

> move for him, but am concerned that if I

> made a move like that he will simply never learn to adapt

> to new situations... your thoughts here?   My

> husband is reluctant to tell the teacher at all, I am not so

> sure waiting is good, our appointment is so far off and my

> son and all of us are really suffering at this level. 

> Thanx so much for your help.

>

> > >

> > > I have a soon to be 8 year old boy with

> OCD.  Unfortunately he saw a therapist a year ago who

> thought it might be OCD but I was not pleased with his lack

> of interaction with my son (he did all his talking to me

> with my son in the room as if he wasn't there).  My son

> had had bouts before, which it took time for me to realize

> might be OCD and the same thing happened after the visit to

> the therapist... our life was out of sync, we were not able

> to follow

> >

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Our list archives feature may be accessed at: 

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//

> by scrolling down to the archives calendar .  Our links

> may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//links

> .  Our files may be accessed at

> http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//files

> .

> Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ),

Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D.

> (http://www2.massgeneral.org/pediatricpsych/staff/geller.html

> ). You may ask a question of any of these mental health

> professionals by inserting the words " Ask Dr.(insert name) "

> in the subject line of a post to the list.  Our list

> moderators are Castle, Judy Chabot, BJ Closner, and

> Barb Nesrallah.   Subscription issues or

> suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list

> administrator, at louisharkins@...

> .   Our group and related groups are listed

> at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links

> .  OCF treatment providers list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php

> .

> NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

>

http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugporta\

l

> .  OCF recommended reading list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocd-oc-spectrum-disorders-book-list.html

> .

>