Marie

[Guest guest]

Thank you , I appreciate that. I usually do speak my mind and don't

really give a rip what anyone else thinks. But that is always on subjects I

have at least some basis of knowledge on. e's diagnosis is still very new

(her first therapy session is tomorrow morning. Why am I up so late??? lol) I

guess I'm still feeling a bit insecure on my authority on this subject. I

haven't really " been around the block " yet, so I'm trying to understand this

all. I feel like I need to tread a bit lightly until I get to know people here

better and they get to know me. My first post was an absolute disaster! (And I

don't get " hurt " or offended easily! lol).

Anyway, thanks for the encouraging words. I'll get the hang of it here.

All the best,

Marie

Rothweiler <kdr@...> wrote: Hi Marie

I hope you don't think anyone was " offended " by your post. Sometimes it's

hard to portray a tone through just typing on an email - especially if you

disagree with the person. Feel free to speak your mind though as we all do

because that's what this list is for. Everyone might not agree but you have

a right to your opinion.

in NJ

Have a Beautiful Day!

Marie Van Nice ~ Independent Senior Kay Consultant

www.marykay.com/annamariev

Come check out our new spring line!

---------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi marie

I am so so sorry to hear of the heartache you are going through . Reading your

e-mail brought tears to my eyes.... My prayers and thoughts are with you. I dont

know what I would do without my daughters

Hope you find happiness soon

Love Joyce

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

a <a54@...> wrote:

I'm really sorry you are hurting so bad. Kids can really rip our

hearts out. Maybe because she knows what you deal with, she

distances herself because it hurts to see you suffer. Maybe she has

fears that she will inherit this disease and suffer the way you do.

Some people just can't cope with those they love being sick. It is

hard to watch a parent suffer just as it's hard for a parent to watch

a child suffer.

My comfort during times like this is the Serenity Prayer. God,

grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I

can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

What else can you do? Being depressed hurts YOU. Grief is consuming

you. I pray that God gives you strength

to live your life again and find joy. Life is what we make it. If we

dwell on the sad things in life it blinds us to the joys.

God bless you Marie. I'm praying you can find happiness.

a

On Oct 16, 2005, at 8:21 AM, snowespi wrote:

> Good Sunday to All! And a hearty welcome to all the Newbies! I just

> want to add on to 's post that this is a safe haven for those of

> us in pain that others can never understand and I do feel cared about

> and I know that I am definitely not alone. I live alone but all I have

> do do is log on and read and I am grateful for each and everyone of

> you. I still have alot of pain, physical but let me tell you that the

> emotional pain of my daughter removing herself from my life has

> left me

> feeling like a big part of me died inside. I still find myself

> pleading

> with God to please let this not be. I hope each day that she will call

> me. It's been over 4 months since I have seen her. Dealing with the

> pain from losing her, as we were so close, always,is so hard.

> Unbearable at times. I feel my heart literally hurting so much I feel

> like I could die from the grief. I will never understand how she could

> do this to me. She just recieved her PHD in immunology and she knows

> what I have to live with. She knows all to well. How could she still

> turn her back on her mother who she claimed she loved so much. Why? I

> can deal with the physical pain anyday now. The pain from my daughter

> has changed me. I don't like myself. I am existing but I am not

> living.I am breathing but I do not feel alive. I have this emptyness

> that leaves me feeling numb. I keep to myself all the time now. I am

> beyond depressed. I am like the walking dead. I have no joy. I read

> the

> funnies and I don't laugh. I sigh alot. I have no appetite. I was

> feeling so sick that my son on the west coast made me promise I'd

> go to

> the emergency room. Lucky me...staph infection! 10 days of

> antibiotics.

> I have not taken them every 8 hours as i was supposed too. I sleep

> between 16-20 hours a day. I tried. I need a miracle. I need

> something.

> I'm sorry for all of you who are going through your own nightmares. I

> sleep and i have peace. I wake up and the nightmare continues. The

> physical pain is nothing compared to the emotional pain. I know I am

> not alone. I know many of you have family who have broken your heart

> beyond belief. God help us all. I'll keep praying as that is all I can

> do. I fall on my knees and cry out to God and pour out what is left of

> my heart. I still cry myself to sleep. It's either that or I'm numb. I

> wonder when it will end. When and if I will ever feel alive again. I

> thank you all for being a part of this group as it is truly a life-

> saving support group for me and I'm sure many of you feel the same way

> about this group. This group that is now a very important part of my

> life. God bless you all. I wish for you all love, joy & peace.

> SIncerly & with blessings, Marie

>

>

>

> -- In , C <bravewmn@y...> wrote:

> >

> > Welcome to the group . I hope you will feel as welcomed asn

> comforted as I did when I joined this group. It is a safe haven for

> those of us in pain that others can never understand, and that

> makes me

> feel, understood and cared about. I hope you will find some

> suggestions from members on your RA.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Marie, What you are going through isn't easy. The emotions you

described and the " motions " of your daily life sound no different

than if you lost a loved one to death. Her leaving you has left an

open void in your heart and you know that. Just because she has a

degree in immunology doesn't mean she knows what you are going

through. I have worked with many doctors who don't truly know what

it is like to have the ailments they claim to treat. It's like

saying that a male OB/Gyn doctor understands what we feel every

month or in childbirth. They understand it from a scientific

standpoint, but they don't " get it " . I know you have probably heard

this before, but just give it time and try not to dwell. I know

it's easier said than done, but YOU must go on with your life. Try

to find something that brings joy to your life and focus on that.

You are right about this group, as well. I live alone (with my 2

cats) and had no one to turn to. This group has been a lifesavor

for me. To be able to vent and to do so with people who DO get it,

makes all the difference. You can speak without judgement or

belittlement. Everyone in here has their own issues and problems in

their lives, but for one moment they are willing to put them asside

to listen to you and show their support for you.

I don't pretend to know what you are going through right now nor do

I pretend to know what is going through your daughters mind and

heart. When she is ready and you both have gone through your

emotional pain, then perhaps that will be when the two of you talk.

My family didn't get it, either. Even my sister, who is a nurse

like me, didn't truly get it. Only until recently with these

physical upcropping of problems I am going through right now did

they finally " see " that there really is something going on.

It's not easy for family. There is a lot of denial from them,

especially if they can't " see " the problem. You have a lot on your

plate right now, Marie. Look above the problems and see the

sunshine, the bright spot. There is one there, just open your heart

and you will see it. I will keep you in my prayers....Marina

[Guest guest]

My dear girl, I am just catching up on my mail and just feel I have to write you

to say how sorry I am for what you are going through with your daughter. I

could feel the pain in your words. You are a kind and loving person and you

don't deserve this kind of treatment but the biggest loser here will be your

daughter and I truly believe she will see the light very soon and be in touch.

In the meantime, be brave and keep reminding yourself that you are a special

person and don't allow one person to destroy what you are. I will pray that your

daughter wakes up and realizes what she is missing.

Hugs

June

[Guest guest]

Dear Marie

Please dont do anything you will regret doing later.

Life can be such a b***** but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

My heart goes out to you. I dont know what it is like to have a daughter treat

me that way. I know it must be hard but please try and get some help. You need

it..

Yes you are right emotional pain can sometimes be worse than physical pain..I

lost three of my dear sisters in a short time of one another . They were not

very old and I know how I felt then . Time is a great healer and try to keep

your faith in god he will help you.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Please take care

LoveJoyce

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

snowespi <snowespi@...> wrote:

Daer , Thank you for your prayers. God knows I need them. I am

minutes away from cutting, rather I should say chopping off my long

beautiful hair, I feel so lost. I can't believe she would do this to

me. I swear it is torture. I have been a good mother to her. What is

this world coming to? When a daughter can turn against her own

mother. She knows I have nobody in this town I moved to to be close

to her. She wanted this for years and I finally say yes and move

here just to have my heart ripped out by her. It has to do with her

husband but she didn't have to shut me out of her life. I am in a

bad bad way. How does one cope with such heavy burdens on top of

these serious health problems one has to try to cope with? I don't

know how much more I can take. I am becoming a basket case if I'm

not one already. I swear. I pray but it seems useless. Like God is

not listening. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your kind

words. I just want this pain to stop. Emotional pain is truly worse

than the physical pain. Sincerly & with love, ANnaMArie

> >

> > Welcome to the group . I hope you will feel as welcomed

asn

> comforted as I did when I joined this group. It is a safe haven

for

> those of us in pain that others can never understand, and that

makes me

> feel, understood and cared about. I hope you will find some

> suggestions from members on your RA.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Marie

I am so so pleased you are starting to think a bit more positive. I know its not

going to be easy for you. I know you can do it though. There will be days when

you will feel you just cant go on and days when you want to go on. Just remember

everyone is rooting for you and sending some good vibes through..

Thinking of you

Love Joyce

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

snowespi <snowespi@...> wrote:

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for your replies and words of

wisdom. For sharing with me from your hearts. I have taken action and I

am doing what what suggested. I am going to forget about my daughter

for now which I have to do and take care of myself. She was due with

her first child on Oct. 7th. I think she had her baby but there is no

way I can find out. I tried calling the hospital and had no luck. I

am " letting go & letting God " when it comes to my one and only Anita.

For now anyway. Thank you Kathe! Also Joyce, I am sorry for the very

hard grief you went through. Lord have mercy! Time is a great healer,

you wrote. I believe you. I couldn't see that but after reading your

post, I believe it with all my heart. I will get through this very

difficult time in my life. Living alone and not knowing anyone in this

area is hard. In Alaska, I at least had a personal care attendent

everyday. Better Dr. care also. I am going to heed your suggestions and

I thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. I have began to

write and I made a call and I am going to take action and think positive

and find a 12 step support group to attend in the area so I won't be

isolating. I used to go to al-anon over 20 years ago. Plus do aquatic

exercises to help with my knee pain and all. I a going to get through

this. It will not be easy but I can do it with God's help. Thank you

for sharing your beliefs about God. It really helped me.

I would like to ask if anyone has been rejected by a loved one and

especially if you are back in touch. If the relationship was healed and

how long it took. Maybe I shouldn't ask. IF you do want to please send

it directly to my address if you want. God bless you all so very very

much! I'm so happy I didn't chop my hair. I'd really feel terrible had

I done that.

HEIDI & JULIEN I am so happy for you. You are truly blest and I pray

to God you are one of the lucky ones that will remain in remission for

the rest of your life and my prayer is that a cure will be found for

the rest of us. Kids are truly a gift from above. I loved having my son

and grandsons here but they had to go back with mom and I miss them

terribly. I am going to believe that God has something wonderful

planned for me and just have faith and keep doing my best each day to

ask him for wisdom and for guidance. Wisdom and strength for each and

everyone of you, also. Goodnight. With much love, always, Marie

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for all your answers. It really makes a difference.

I'll contact my insurance company to see how much they can cover.

Good night and thanks again,

Marie

> > >

> > > Hi Marie,

> > >

> > > There are women in this support group who did not have their

> > capsules removed and remained very, very ill. After hearing

> their

> > stories, I was certain I wanted to get ALL of the garbage out of

> my

> > chest. I will forever be grateful to these ladies in this support

> > group for their help when I was so extremely ill. I had explant

> > Feb. 26, 2008. I flew from Utah to Denver, Colorado and Dr. Huang

> > did my explant. She told me at my consultation that alot of

> doctors

> > believe the capsules will dissolve in the body and she said that

> this

> > is NOT true. She told me she would be removing the capsules.

> She

> > removed them enbloc.

> > >

> > > Please find a different surgeon (preferrably one on our list)

and

> > have the capsules removed. I decided I only had one chance to

> have

> > them removed correctly and I didn't want to gamble with my health

> and

> > my life. It was worth it to me to travel and have it done by

> someone

> > who would do it right. I could tell some friends thought I was

> nuts

> > not to find someone here locally to remove them but I was at a

> point

> > that I did not care what anyone thought. I was so very, very

> > ill. I'm happy to report I am improving with time and no longer

> > feel 'poisoned'.. ....My main symptom now is fatigue and my cough

> > returns when I get too tired. I worked today and I started

> coughing

> > after being at work about 4 hours. I'm hoping this will resolve

> > with time. But......... the improvement I feel in just 6 weeks is

> > incredible. I'm still only working part-time right now.

> > >

> > > Not one doctor would agree with me that my implants were the

> cause

> > of my illness. I knew in my heart they WERE the cause. I think

> > we as women are blessed with a very strong intuition and we need

to

> > listen to ourselves!! I also had the numbness and tingling and

> was

> > told I should see a Neurologist and that it would not be from the

> > implants. Well........ .IMMEDIATELY after surgery the numbness

and

> > tingling I had were gone. I have not had any more problems with

> > numbness/tingling and have cancelled my Neurology appt. (I also

> > had capsular contracture) I am so tired of paying so many

> doctors

> > so much money!!! (Also....... it will cost you even more money if

> you

> > have to go in at a later date and have the capsules removed)

> > > I believe that most doctors don't want to do the tedious job of

> > removing the scar capsules. I'm sure it's a pain in the butt

> > procedure and takes alot of time. It seems like most of them

> just

> > want to quickly make an incision and pull out the implant and

> quickly

> > move on to the next patient. To me......that is doing a half-

assed

> > job and I was always taught growing up to do things right or not

to

> > do them at all. So.........it really bugs me when they don't do

> it

> > CORRECTLY!!

> > >

> > > Good luck!

> > >

> > > Hugs~

> > > a

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Marie

> > >

> > > Doctors View

> > >

> > > Your surgeon wants to remove your implants the

> > > quickest and easiest way, to save himself time and money.

> > >

> > > Doctors View - Time is Money and Money is Time

> > >

> > > I had my implants removed by my original surgeon

> > > I remained sick until I found this group

> > >

> > > I went to a recomended surgeon on the list.

> > > My surgery took 6 hrs to remove the capsules.

> > > Capsules retain bacteria

> > >

> > >

> > > An experienced surgeon will work hours

> > > to remove all the garbage out of you .

> > >

> > > Proper Removal = En Bloc with Drains

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > I got my first consult with a surgeon today. I told him about

my

> > > symptoms (numbness in the hands, electric sensations), but he

> said

> > that

> > > it could not be related to my implants. He suggested me to go

see

> a

> > > doctor in neurology. I told him that I was thinking of getting

my

> > > implants out if nothing was back to normal after a while and

> asked

> > if

> > > he's peforming the " en bloc " procedure. He told me that I

didn't

> > > need " en bloc " because I don't have a hard capsule around my

> > implants.

> > > He told me that the cicatricial capsule will resolve in my body

> and

> > > that nothing is dangerous about that. The procedure he

suggested

> is

> > a

> > > local anesthesia and that he would only do a cut under my

breasts

> > to

> > > get my implants out.

> > >

> > > I am kind of confused now. I thought the " en bloc " procedure

was

> > the

> > > best thing to do no matter what. It seemd that this doctor only

> > uses

> > > this procedure in rare occasions.

> > >

> > > I would like to have your opinion about this.

> > >

> > > Thanks,

> > > Marie

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > ____________ __

> > > You rock. That's why Blockbuster' s offering you one month of

> > Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost.

> > > http://tc.deals. / tc/blockbuster/ text5.com

> > >

> >

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>