I need NT advice

[Guest guest]

For the first time in many years, I absolutly broke down last night.

I was so frsutrated with the NT world it was if I had never been

taught anything about them. I know " why " may no be answered, but

really I am looking for " how " I can better tolerate and effectivley

deal with the situation. IT all started last Thursday morning.

The day began as usual. My NT daughter, Allana (7) and my NT

step-son, (15), were getting ready for school. Tim usually

packs their lunches and prepares breakfast while I guide my autistic

son, (5) through his morning routine. My daughter was giddy and

singing as she usally is for she loves school. , however,

snapped at her. I made a comment about it to Tim and we agreed Andew

has been acting withdrawn and pouty lately. Then, as we sat down to

eat, announced that he had to go to In-School Suspension for

drawing a swastika in art class. What was strange was he acted like

it was no big deal and that the teachers were over-reacting. He did

as he usually does and began making excuses why he wasn't wrong.

After looking at a Xerox copy of his art, I saw this was no random

sketch. This was an intricate drawing of a hand wearing a glove. As

a matter of fact, aside from the horrible symbol, the art was quite good.

is into " goth " (is that spelled right) and " skater " clothing

and interests. We have taken away disks he has gotten from his

friends (Slipknot, Marlyin Manson, Korn) and told him thses bands were

unacceptable because of their mature nature. is in the 8th

grade for the 2nd time and failing. However, what really bothers me

about all of this is that he announces to everyone " I don't have a

conscience " and really does not act as if he cares that he is failing

or hurting others with his drawing. He says he wants to change and

can't. I am confused. He says he doesn't like the stuff his friends

are into. He says he really wants to go to Gerogia Tech and become a

concept automobile engineer and design an alternative fuel car that

does away with the need for gasoline. So, why would he hang with

people he does not like, act like he doesn't care, when in reality he

wants to become an engineer? Why do ALL of this for a little social

acceptance? Any advice?

My problem came to a peak yesteday at and Allana's soccer

practice. jacob is in with the 3 and 4 year olds. The parents were

yelling at the kids " focus! " " pay attention! " " keep your eye on the

ball!! " Afterwards, parents would give their kids lectures about how

they need to " play the game " and stop laughing. They are so hard on them.

While I was watching my son play, a group of fathers were noticing

(i think they did not realize I was his mother). They were

discussing how they need to confront the coach about having

thrown off the team because he cannot play well and distracts the

other kids. (, when he looses interest in the game will walk the

field at the edge ignoring the game. He also never scores, he just

chases the ball. He also pats his stomach with alternating hands when

he gets overloaded which he does on the field often) I heard one of

the fathers say " look at him now, hitting is own stomach! Is he a

retard? " " no, " one of the fathers answered, " he is one of those boys

whose father hasn't taught his how to be a man. " A man?! At 5?!

We went home. I was angry and not sure how to express my anger. I am

frustrated. is the one in real danger and I am told " he is just

being a teenager. " may not behave like most 5 year olds, but

among 3 year olds he does no different then they and people think he

needs to be kicked off the team. Does anyone else think this is too

much pressure for 3 and 4 year olds? Is just being a " normal "

teenager or should I be concerned? He has a container full of Sharpie

pens and white out, is that a sign of drug use? How do I handle the

parents?

Sorry to write a novel. I am really confsed. Any advice will be helpful.