Guest guest Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 In a message dated 2/22/2006 7:58:57 AM Central Standard Time, jennie71379@... writes: Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, I struggle with the EVERY DAY too...i question it everyday...and i too find no comfort in those words when they are offered...i am going thru a divorce and have 3 children under the age of 5 with autism...i moved to the midwest for my hsuband's job, so we have NO family around...i have WAY MORE than i can handle...so i truly know how you feel...i've joined a class at my church...and i have 6 aba implementers on my team that also babysit so i can get out once in a while alone...life is tough...but it is because of God's strength that i am able to get out of bed each morning and start all over again...i wish you peace...and hope...i'll pray for your family...reach out to others for help...it's God sending those people to you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 Somebody's going to have to show me the verse in the Bible where it says God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I'm tired of people quoting that to ME. Seems like they're saying, " Better YOU than ME. " Those words are NOT a comfort. The Bible says God doesn't TEMPT you more than you can BEAR, and He will always give you a way out of the temptation. I just haven't found the part where you don't get more burdens than you can bear. We participate in a small group at church, and they have been babysitting for us so that we can go out alone or take one of the children out for a special date. They're rotating, and we go once or twice a month. I have been brutally honest about what autism has done to our family, the lack of sleep, the coping mechanisms we've developed to lessen meltdowns. As I began to open up about the difficulties, people have come forward to help. I gave a speech about the difficulties almost a year ago. I hired a professional organizer to help me with the kitchen. I finally decided that getting out from the chaos for MYSELF was worth the money. Two neighbors stepped forward to help me organize the basement. For Free. We're about halfway done with both the kitchen and the basement. We're getting there. Switching to RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) has made a HUGE HUGE difference. I felt like RDI was a fork in the road for our family. We were becoming stuck in being an autistic family. RDI has taken us in a new direction. We still have the autism, but it's not the focus 24/7. We're working on sibling issues, now. SibShops is wonderful. Has your husband been tested for celiac sprue? I felt like I was getting stuck in a hole I couldn't get out of, and just kept getting deeper and deeper. And I knew that I could make some changes that would help, but I didn't have the energy to make the changes. I needed help. Calling the organizer was one step. Talking about our family in public and to our small group was another. When people saw concrete ways they could help us, they did, and that has made a big difference. We still have a LONG way to go. We still communicate with one another too negatively in our home. We've created some really horrible patterns during our kids' youngest years. I'm still overwhelmed a lot of the time, have too much to do, and can't make a decision on where to begin. But I have hope again, and know that one of these days, we will be de-cluttered and functioning much better. Please reach out to some people nearby and start asking for help. You may have to talk to a lot of people. Are there respite services where you live? Have you called your community mental health department? family independence agency? (they're called different things in different states). Are there any Mega-Churches nearby? They might have programs for kids w/ special needs, or for families w/ special needs. Another support: There's a web site that sends a prayer to your mailbox every day. www.childrenofdestiny.org And another support: There's a yahoo group for parents raising children w/ autism in Christian homes, called PREACCH. Hang in there. We understand. PennY > > What happens when you are always the strong one? What > if you get sick? What if you just can't take any more? > Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than you > can handle, but this isn't about God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 Esther, I have certainly felt and continue to feel the stress of daily life with my family too. I have had moments of despair as well and can relate to how your feeling to some extent. I admire you for what you do everyday: taking care of your husband and hearing him say he doesnt think he'll make it must be heartbreaking. Adding to that the stress of raising a child with special needs, I can only imagine your situation is very hard. Please try to find a support group where you can go and meet other families/moms who are dealing with children like this as well. It helps so much to just talk to other people who understand what its like. About God never giving us more than we can handle, I believe that. Some people may not but I do and always have. I think people who commit suicide over stressful situations just couldnt find an outlet to release all that stress. Tons of hugs to you and I'll keep you in my prayers. Jennie in Providence, RI Esther wrote: What happens when you are always the strong one? What if you get sick? What if you just can't take any more? Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but this isn't about God. I believe in him, but I don't think that he has to do with evrything. Sometimes I think he just sits back and lets us live our lives. Sometimes maybe he wants to help us, just like we long to help our loved ones, husbands and little ones, etc. but we can't. Yah he is all powerful and all that, but maybe he has physical laws that restrain him from just stepping in to help. Maybe the reason he is all powerful, is because he knows all the laws of nature and physics and how to manipulate and use them to his advantage, but in order to do that and for things to not be chaotic he also has laws to abide by. What if he can't save my daughter or husband. Maybe he wants to but he can't make them better. Or else maybe he would be breaking his own laws. I don't know, All I know is that at this point, I am tired of everyone's answer and excuse for everything is that " oh well, that's what God thinks you can handle " . The thing is there are people who have died of stress and overload and their are some who have killed themselves when the stress is too, much, so obviousely if it was true about God knowing how much we can bare and handle that would not ever happen. I have too much to bare right now, not alone anyway. I can't even sleep anymore. I get too wound up. My hubby has been sick since we've been married but he progressively gets worse and more and more depressed with his Crohn's disease and always talks about not making it much more or feeling like he is dying or wanting to die from the pain. He honestly can't help much, with anything. I am not mad at him, and don't expect him too, but it is so hard when I do everything myself. My kids are not progressing, infact quite the opposite. My is still sick and the doctors said, well it's not Luekemia now, becaus the wacko white blood count finally went down. But now they aren't even trying to find out what it is, even though she is not even close to better yet and they act like I am an over paronoid mom for wondering after they told me it was cancer for two weeks and now it is magically nothing. Even though she has lost 6 pounds and sleeps 7 hours a day and through the night without her Melatonin, and gets a fever of 101 or more every three days or so and then it spikes again and she's back in the hospital. Why won't she talk to me. I know she can't but I pray every day that she will just tell me where it hurts. My (so far) NT 8 month old baby is sick now too with just an ear infection, but he's always up screaming. I never eat and all I do is go go go and I never get a break and yet I just keep gaining and can never loose a pound. Nobody ever seems happy no matter what food I make, what I do, everybody is always tantruming and fussing and griping no matter what, it seems like and I am worn to nearly nothing. I don't even know if I really want an answer or what any of you would even answer. I just honestly don't know how much more I can take. It's past 2am and why am I not sleeping? I know I should be, but sleep wont come, I always just feel like throwing up, and I am so unhealthy myself, but haven't been able to get into a doctor for me in ages. Oh well, what are moms for right? Anyhow, my baby just started screaming and I don't want him to wake up anyone else so I have to go. But I wish I could get a break and that just something, Money, extended family, school, work, something could go right and easy. I guess that's why it is called Wishing I will talk to you more later my faceless friends. Please don't worry too much about me, I know this is going to sound like a red flag letter here, but I will still always stay with my family and take care of them, because I love them and I KNOW how much they need me, I am not running away anywhere. But I just wish I had somebody there just for me. I want it to be my husband, because he used to be so good at that, he was so understanding and stuff, but now it is like he is turning Autistic and even worse. How selfish that I want someone to be there for me huh? But it never happens. Oh well, I guess that is what God is for, and heck even if he isn't real, at least I can talk to myself outloud without feeling too stupid at 2, 3 or 4am. Thanks for listening. I'm sorry, I just don't understand it all. I thought out of anybody, you guys might be able to understand. PS my normally non-poop-smearing decided to have fun today :) along with everything else. I thought that would bring a smile to others faces. Thanks for your responces in advance! Esther __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 Oh, Esther, I just read your post. HUGE hug from a Mom in Massachusetts. I can't add any words of wisdom to your own or to these who responded, but I can say I've been down there too and I know what bottom feels like. Hang in there, keep trying to find some friendly and helpful folks in your physical sphere, and keep talking to us. I hope and pray something changes for the better for you soon. Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 I just wanted to say you are definately not alone! I see a alot of me in your words. About a few months ago I went to the psychiatrist and he prescribed Lexipro and xanaax which has made it a much better world for my family. I also take ambian when I need sleep. For me when I don't have sleep it is very hard to deal with things. Also this board has been great! Where do you live? I'd be willing to come over and babysit if we are close enough! It sounds like you definately need some time to take care of yourself. Is there anyone that you can get for just a couple of hours so you can go relax? I just wanted you to know that it has gotten somewhat better for me. Not great, but better. Please keep letting us know how you are doing! Janet in KC ________________________________ From: Autism_in_Girls on behalf of Jen Long Sent: Wed 2/22/2006 7:56 AM To: Autism_in_Girls Subject: Re: who will be there for me? : What happens when you are always the strong one? What if you get sick? What if you just can't take any more? Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but this isn't about God. I believe in him, but I don't think that he has to do with evrything. Sometimes I think he just sits back and lets us live our lives. Sometimes maybe he wants to help us, just like we long to help our loved ones, husbands and little ones, etc. but we can't. Yah he is all powerful and all that, but maybe he has physical laws that restrain him from just stepping in to help. Maybe the reason he is all powerful, is because he knows all the laws of nature and physics and how to manipulate and use them to his advantage, but in order to do that and for things to not be chaotic he also has laws to abide by. What if he can't save my daughter or husband. Maybe he wants to but he can't make them better. Or else maybe he would be breaking his own laws. I don't know, All I know is that at this point, I am tired of everyone's answer and excuse for everything is that " oh well, that's what God thinks you can handle " . The thing is there are people who have died of stress and overload and their are some who have killed themselves when the stress is too, much, so obviousely if it was true about God knowing how much we can bare and handle that would not ever happen. I have too much to bare right now, not alone anyway. I can't even sleep anymore. I get too wound up. My hubby has been sick since we've been married but he progressively gets worse and more and more depressed with his Crohn's disease and always talks about not making it much more or feeling like he is dying or wanting to die from the pain. He honestly can't help much, with anything. I am not mad at him, and don't expect him too, but it is so hard when I do everything myself. My kids are not progressing, infact quite the opposite. My is still sick and the doctors said, well it's not Luekemia now, becaus the wacko white blood count finally went down. But now they aren't even trying to find out what it is, even though she is not even close to better yet and they act like I am an over paronoid mom for wondering after they told me it was cancer for two weeks and now it is magically nothing. Even though she has lost 6 pounds and sleeps 7 hours a day and through the night without her Melatonin, and gets a fever of 101 or more every three days or so and then it spikes again and she's back in the hospital. Why won't she talk to me. I know she can't but I pray every day that she will just tell me where it hurts. My (so far) NT 8 month old baby is sick now too with just an ear infection, but he's always up screaming. I never eat and all I do is go go go and I never get a break and yet I just keep gaining and can never loose a pound. Nobody ever seems happy no matter what food I make, what I do, everybody is always tantruming and fussing and griping no matter what, it seems like and I am worn to nearly nothing. I don't even know if I really want an answer or what any of you would even answer. I just honestly don't know how much more I can take. It's past 2am and why am I not sleeping? I know I should be, but sleep wont come, I always just feel like throwing up, and I am so unhealthy myself, but haven't been able to get into a doctor for me in ages. Oh well, what are moms for right? Anyhow, my baby just started screaming and I don't want him to wake up anyone else so I have to go. But I wish I could get a break and that just something, Money, extended family, school, work, something could go right and easy. I guess that's why it is called Wishing I will talk to you more later my faceless friends. Please don't worry too much about me, I know this is going to sound like a red flag letter here, but I will still always stay with my family and take care of them, because I love them and I KNOW how much they need me, I am not running away anywhere. But I just wish I had somebody there just for me. I want it to be my husband, because he used to be so good at that, he was so understanding and stuff, but now it is like he is turning Autistic and even worse. How selfish that I want someone to be there for me huh? But it never happens. Oh well, I guess that is what God is for, and heck even if he isn't real, at least I can talk to myself outloud without feeling too stupid at 2, 3 or 4am. Thanks for listening. I'm sorry, I just don't understand it all. I thought out of anybody, you guys might be able to understand. PS my normally non-poop-smearing decided to have fun today :) along with everything else. I thought that would bring a smile to others faces. Thanks for your responces in advance! Esther __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 Thanks for your words of comfort. I know I have three too. Chantell is 4 and has Autism, 2.5 with Autism and completely non-verbal except BYe, Da Da, No, uh oh, Ball, and water. She is also very ill and is being researched by Emanual Children's Hospital in Portland, OR by a team of infectuous disease doctors, who don't seem to know much when it comes to dealing with alive people. They think she is their science project. Then I have an 8 month old baby buy, , who seems normal and is developing very well so far, but so did my first daughter, and then she lost everything at age 21 months. My hubby has Crohn's Disease and his stupid doctors never try to figure anything else out of why he is not getting better or at least into remission. But yes it is hard and honestly I feel like I could do it, if he was able to support me emotionally and if I felt that he believed in me. I know he wants to and he is trying as hard as he can but he's worn down too. I really appreciate all of your e-mails and support. It was nice after waking up from 4 hours of sleep to find that people cared even if I've never seen their faces or never really even met them. But sometimes I feel closer to all of you than anyone in my life. At least their is some feedback. It's not just give give give, talk talk talk and nothing, which is pretty much my dilemma. I appreciate what everyone has said so far and I will try and talk more openly with people at church and with my childrens advisors through the Early Intervention programs. But I feel that even they only help when I nag them to death and I hate nagging and I am so sick of it. Since my daughter got sick, instead of helping at all, they said since your older daughter has been absent a few days, where giving her spot to someone else. I was in the hospital with my other daughter, what was I supposed to do? Since then they have said give us a call. They know my situation I can not be more candid with them than I have been, without demanding, and I hate being that way. My quote from veggie tales is " A gift that's demanded is no gift at all " I'll try though, cuz I'm running out of options. I admire you so many of you for being able to do this even when a spouse is 100% not helping and out of the picture. MY husband at least tries and wants to be, he is just so sick. So at least I have his empathy I guess. And when he can he helps, he honestly does, it's just that he has been getting progressively worse over the last year. A lot worse and he is only 26 years old. Thanks again everyone for your posts. I have to get going with everyone's daily routine, but thank you. Oh and I wish, I lived close to some of you, but I am in OR and don't think so far I have found anyone in my area who is all that friendly. Thanks, Esther --- DillardRN@... wrote: > In a message dated 2/22/2006 7:58:57 AM Central > Standard Time, > jennie71379@... writes: > Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than > you > can handle, > > > I struggle with the EVERY DAY too...i question it > everyday...and i too find > no comfort in those words when they are offered...i > am going thru a divorce and > have 3 children under the age of 5 with autism...i > moved to the midwest for > my hsuband's job, so we have NO family around...i > have WAY MORE than i can > handle...so i truly know how you feel...i've joined > a class at my church...and i > have 6 aba implementers on my team that also babysit > so i can get out once in a > while alone...life is tough...but it is because of > God's strength that i am > able to get out of bed each morning and start all > over again...i wish you > peace...and hope...i'll pray for your family...reach > out to others for help...it's > God sending those people to you... > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 Esther, I'm 26 too just like your husband and it is HARD just being a young parent PERIOD without all the stuff we're going thru with our kids. You really must be so beyond exhausted. I wish I lived near you to help you out, I really do. Does Early Intervention have support groups or child care resources they could give you so you can take a MUCH needed break? The good thing about EI is that it's supposed to be VERY family centered. That old saying is true: If mama aint happy, aint NOBODY happy. You've got to take care of yourself emotionally so you can just get up in the morning and function. Keep in touch!!! Jennie in RI Esther wrote: Thanks for your words of comfort. I know I have three too. Chantell is 4 and has Autism, 2.5 with Autism and completely non-verbal except BYe, Da Da, No, uh oh, Ball, and water. She is also very ill and is being researched by Emanual Children's Hospital in Portland, OR by a team of infectuous disease doctors, who don't seem to know much when it comes to dealing with alive people. They think she is their science project. Then I have an 8 month old baby buy, , who seems normal and is developing very well so far, but so did my first daughter, and then she lost everything at age 21 months. My hubby has Crohn's Disease and his stupid doctors never try to figure anything else out of why he is not getting better or at least into remission. But yes it is hard and honestly I feel like I could do it, if he was able to support me emotionally and if I felt that he believed in me. I know he wants to and he is trying as hard as he can but he's worn down too. I really appreciate all of your e-mails and support. It was nice after waking up from 4 hours of sleep to find that people cared even if I've never seen their faces or never really even met them. But sometimes I feel closer to all of you than anyone in my life. At least their is some feedback. It's not just give give give, talk talk talk and nothing, which is pretty much my dilemma. I appreciate what everyone has said so far and I will try and talk more openly with people at church and with my childrens advisors through the Early Intervention programs. But I feel that even they only help when I nag them to death and I hate nagging and I am so sick of it. Since my daughter got sick, instead of helping at all, they said since your older daughter has been absent a few days, where giving her spot to someone else. I was in the hospital with my other daughter, what was I supposed to do? Since then they have said give us a call. They know my situation I can not be more candid with them than I have been, without demanding, and I hate being that way. My quote from veggie tales is " A gift that's demanded is no gift at all " I'll try though, cuz I'm running out of options. I admire you so many of you for being able to do this even when a spouse is 100% not helping and out of the picture. MY husband at least tries and wants to be, he is just so sick. So at least I have his empathy I guess. And when he can he helps, he honestly does, it's just that he has been getting progressively worse over the last year. A lot worse and he is only 26 years old. Thanks again everyone for your posts. I have to get going with everyone's daily routine, but thank you. Oh and I wish, I lived close to some of you, but I am in OR and don't think so far I have found anyone in my area who is all that friendly. Thanks, Esther --- DillardRN@... wrote: > In a message dated 2/22/2006 7:58:57 AM Central > Standard Time, > jennie71379@... writes: > Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than > you > can handle, > > > I struggle with the EVERY DAY too...i question it > everyday...and i too find > no comfort in those words when they are offered...i > am going thru a divorce and > have 3 children under the age of 5 with autism...i > moved to the midwest for > my hsuband's job, so we have NO family around...i > have WAY MORE than i can > handle...so i truly know how you feel...i've joined > a class at my church...and i > have 6 aba implementers on my team that also babysit > so i can get out once in a > while alone...life is tough...but it is because of > God's strength that i am > able to get out of bed each morning and start all > over again...i wish you > peace...and hope...i'll pray for your family...reach > out to others for help...it's > God sending those people to you... > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2006 Report Share Posted February 22, 2006 When we get to a point in our lives where we are about to make progress, it is usually when we think we are really just overburdened with a lack of progress. This is a time you must take a deep breath and look upon that face of what you do have. I hope otherwise, my limited words can help. God does help.but only when he is wanted. He chooses to be limited by our free will, which is a right He gave us to choose our paths. See God is Love, and loves us so much that He gives us the freedom to choose to love Him in return. If he did not give us this free will, we would be " programmed " to love him, which would mean our love would not fit the very essence of love. God teaches that love is never selfish and never seeks its own. God knew in order for us to truly be creatures of love, we would have to choose to love, not be forced into love. With me so far? So how does this apply? Well you said " Maybe he has physical laws that restrain him from just stepping in to help. " One answer to that is free will. We have to truly want help.but.there is another dimension to that answer. Sometimes he does help, and by our fallen nature we fail to recognize it and choose another way. Sometimes, He is helping, but we see it as a burden. It is not a deliberate action always, nor am I saying you have failed to follow or want God. I am only saying He is more of a presence than you might have realized. You are right in that he does not manipulate, and sometimes I think He calls people to help us that are stubborn or miss the mark making us feel ignored. God works in our lives, but does so only through our own choice and unfortunately through a world of sinners. We are not perfect and do not always hear the call God is making. Keep hope and faith though. It does happen and usually in surprising ways. As for the " God thinks that is all you can handle " speech, do not take offense. People are only telling you what gives them comfort so they feel as if they are showing compassion without having to REALLY get involved. Yes, I just said that. Many people have these pre-set little ditties they give to show they are compassionate, when really all they want is to not get involved while still not looking bad to others around them. It is easy to just say that to you, but to help would require strength and time away from their personal wants. I love people and I think they have room in their hearts to be a loving neighbor as God asked us to be, but we have that free will thing again. Yes, people die from stress. You are tired, you feel unappreciated. You feel as if the world has turned their back on you and God is just on vacation. Then to add to your stress, your husband, who you feel should bare this burden too, can't help either! How unfair you must feel the world and its ways are upon you. I feel for you.truly. But God...He feels every moment with you. You must remember what happened at the cross and the pain that was felt by the hand of His OWN creation.and yet He willingly went to the cross because He loves us. If God was willing to sacrifice His begotten Son upon the cross willingly to save the world, then I seriously doubt He has forgotten you. Don't ever forget you are worth loving and God NEVER forgets you. I may not be there to help you Esther, but know you are not alone. God helped you find your way to this group, and then by no coincidence this group is widely a group of Believers. Then, along comes another member, blessed with Asperger's and who believes she has a calling to minister who is now answering your email and letting you know you are NOT alone. I will pray for you, and I am happy to hear you and be the best friend I can be despite our physical distance. What do you need Esther? I will pray you will receive it. In the meantime, keep faith and hope in those you care for. They may gripe of food, but at least they are fed every night. You may loose sleep, but at least you have a bed in which to lay. Work may not go right, but at least you have work. I know, it is not what you think you need to hear, but it is what God wants you to hear. In the words of Charlie Chaplin " smile though your heart is aching. Smile even though its breaking. When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by if you smile through your feeling sorrow. Smile and maybe tomorrow, the sun will come shining through if you just smile. " Do not feel this is the " burden " of being a mom, but the blessing of being a child of God. You know what is right and want that for your family and yourself. You aim to do as God wants and that is a beautiful. Keep strong and know you are prayed for. PS - by the way that is not wishing.that is Hope; and that is one of the greatest things. Visit this site, it is inspiring http://www.brittanymaier.com/home.html who will be there for me? What happens when you are always the strong one? What if you get sick? What if you just can't take any more? Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but this isn't about God. I believe in him, but I don't think that he has to do with evrything. Sometimes I think he just sits back and lets us live our lives. Sometimes maybe he wants to help us, just like we long to help our loved ones, husbands and little ones, etc. but we can't. Yah he is all powerful and all that, but maybe he has physical laws that restrain him from just stepping in to help. Maybe the reason he is all powerful, is because he knows all the laws of nature and physics and how to manipulate and use them to his advantage, but in order to do that and for things to not be chaotic he also has laws to abide by. What if he can't save my daughter or husband. Maybe he wants to but he can't make them better. Or else maybe he would be breaking his own laws. I don't know, All I know is that at this point, I am tired of everyone's answer and excuse for everything is that " oh well, that's what God thinks you can handle " . The thing is there are people who have died of stress and overload and their are some who have killed themselves when the stress is too, much, so obviousely if it was true about God knowing how much we can bare and handle that would not ever happen. I have too much to bare right now, not alone anyway. I can't even sleep anymore. I get too wound up. My hubby has been sick since we've been married but he progressively gets worse and more and more depressed with his Crohn's disease and always talks about not making it much more or feeling like he is dying or wanting to die from the pain. He honestly can't help much, with anything. I am not mad at him, and don't expect him too, but it is so hard when I do everything myself. My kids are not progressing, infact quite the opposite. My is still sick and the doctors said, well it's not Luekemia now, becaus the wacko white blood count finally went down. But now they aren't even trying to find out what it is, even though she is not even close to better yet and they act like I am an over paronoid mom for wondering after they told me it was cancer for two weeks and now it is magically nothing. Even though she has lost 6 pounds and sleeps 7 hours a day and through the night without her Melatonin, and gets a fever of 101 or more every three days or so and then it spikes again and she's back in the hospital. Why won't she talk to me. I know she can't but I pray every day that she will just tell me where it hurts. My (so far) NT 8 month old baby is sick now too with just an ear infection, but he's always up screaming. I never eat and all I do is go go go and I never get a break and yet I just keep gaining and can never loose a pound. Nobody ever seems happy no matter what food I make, what I do, everybody is always tantruming and fussing and griping no matter what, it seems like and I am worn to nearly nothing. I don't even know if I really want an answer or what any of you would even answer. I just honestly don't know how much more I can take. It's past 2am and why am I not sleeping? I know I should be, but sleep wont come, I always just feel like throwing up, and I am so unhealthy myself, but haven't been able to get into a doctor for me in ages. Oh well, what are moms for right? Anyhow, my baby just started screaming and I don't want him to wake up anyone else so I have to go. But I wish I could get a break and that just something, Money, extended family, school, work, something could go right and easy. I guess that's why it is called Wishing I will talk to you more later my faceless friends. Please don't worry too much about me, I know this is going to sound like a red flag letter here, but I will still always stay with my family and take care of them, because I love them and I KNOW how much they need me, I am not running away anywhere. But I just wish I had somebody there just for me. I want it to be my husband, because he used to be so good at that, he was so understanding and stuff, but now it is like he is turning Autistic and even worse. How selfish that I want someone to be there for me huh? But it never happens. Oh well, I guess that is what God is for, and heck even if he isn't real, at least I can talk to myself outloud without feeling too stupid at 2, 3 or 4am. Thanks for listening. I'm sorry, I just don't understand it all. I thought out of anybody, you guys might be able to understand. PS my normally non-poop-smearing decided to have fun today :) along with everything else. I thought that would bring a smile to others faces. Thanks for your responces in advance! Esther __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2006 Report Share Posted February 23, 2006 Thank you so much for these words . Honestly I don't know what I would have done without them. It really made me see things more clearly. You said it was probably the last thing that I wanted to hear. But far from. It was exactly what I needed and wanted to hear! Thank you! I am so glad that their are so many strong people here on this site. You are a support to my husband too, all of you. Anytime he wants an answer he asks me to write to you guys and ask for it. A few times he has gotten on here and aksed for stuff too, and then a week or so ago he got on hear pretending to be me and asked everyone about Diaper sizes. He just thinks it is not very manly to care about those things. I think it is wonderful that he does. So I thank you and everyone for your wonderful words and time you gave up to help me and him and our family. I am soooo glad that I found this support group. We don't have time or energy to go to one, but if we can bring it into our home, like this one, it is wonderful! Thanks so much. I cried when I read this post. I cried because I knew it felt right and true to me, the words that you were sharing. Thanks, Esther --- wrote: > When we get to a point in our lives where we are > about to make progress, it > is usually when we think we are really just > overburdened with a lack of > progress. This is a time you must take a deep > breath and look upon that > face of what you do have. I hope otherwise, my > limited words can help. > > > > God does help.but only when he is wanted. He > chooses to be limited by our > free will, which is a right He gave us to choose our > paths. See God is > Love, and loves us so much that He gives us the > freedom to choose to love > Him in return. If he did not give us this free > will, we would be > " programmed " to love him, which would mean our love > would not fit the very > essence of love. God teaches that love is never > selfish and never seeks its > own. God knew in order for us to truly be creatures > of love, we would have > to choose to love, not be forced into love. With me > so far? > > > > So how does this apply? Well you said " Maybe he has > physical laws that > restrain him from just stepping in to help. " One > answer to that is free > will. We have to truly want help.but.there is > another dimension to that > answer. Sometimes he does help, and by our fallen > nature we fail to > recognize it and choose another way. Sometimes, He > is helping, but we see it > as a burden. It is not a deliberate action always, > nor am I saying you have > failed to follow or want God. I am only saying He > is more of a presence > than you might have realized. You are right in that > he does not manipulate, > and sometimes I think He calls people to help us > that are stubborn or miss > the mark making us feel ignored. God works in our > lives, but does so only > through our own choice and unfortunately through a > world of sinners. We are > not perfect and do not always hear the call God is > making. Keep hope and > faith though. It does happen and usually in > surprising ways. > > > > As for the " God thinks that is all you can handle " > speech, do not take > offense. People are only telling you what gives > them comfort so they feel > as if they are showing compassion without having to > REALLY get involved. > Yes, I just said that. Many people have these > pre-set little ditties they > give to show they are compassionate, when really all > they want is to not get > involved while still not looking bad to others > around them. It is easy to > just say that to you, but to help would require > strength and time away from > their personal wants. I love people and I think > they have room in their > hearts to be a loving neighbor as God asked us to > be, but we have that free > will thing again. > > > > Yes, people die from stress. You are tired, you > feel unappreciated. You > feel as if the world has turned their back on you > and God is just on > vacation. Then to add to your stress, your husband, > who you feel should > bare this burden too, can't help either! How unfair > you must feel the world > and its ways are upon you. I feel for you.truly. > But God...He feels every > moment with you. You must remember what happened at > the cross and the pain > that was felt by the hand of His OWN creation.and > yet He willingly went to > the cross because He loves us. If God was willing > to sacrifice His begotten > Son upon the cross willingly to save the world, then > I seriously doubt He > has forgotten you. Don't ever forget you are worth > loving and God NEVER > forgets you. > > > > I may not be there to help you Esther, but know you > are not alone. God > helped you find your way to this group, and then by > no coincidence this > group is widely a group of Believers. Then, along > comes another member, > blessed with Asperger's and who believes she has a > calling to minister who > is now answering your email and letting you know you > are NOT alone. I will > pray for you, and I am happy to hear you and be the > best friend I can be > despite our physical distance. What do you need > Esther? I will pray you > will receive it. > > > > In the meantime, keep faith and hope in those you > care for. They may gripe > of food, but at least they are fed every night. You > may loose sleep, but at > least you have a bed in which to lay. Work may not > go right, but at least > you have work. I know, it is not what you think you > need to hear, but it is > what God wants you to hear. In the words of Charlie > Chaplin " smile though > your heart is aching. Smile even though its > breaking. When there are > clouds in the sky, you'll get by if you smile > through your feeling sorrow. > Smile and maybe tomorrow, the sun will come shining > through if you just > smile. " Do not feel this is the " burden " of being a > mom, but the blessing > of being a child of God. You know what is right and > want that for your > family and yourself. You aim to do as God wants and > that is a beautiful. > Keep strong and know you are prayed for. > > > > > > > > PS - by the way that is not wishing.that is Hope; > and that is one of the > greatest things. Visit this site, it is inspiring > http://www.brittanymaier.com/home.html > > > > > > > > who will be there for me? > > > > What happens when you are always the strong one? > What > if you get sick? What if you just can't take any > more? > Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than > you > can handle, but this isn't about God. I believe in > him, but I don't think that he has to do with > evrything. Sometimes I think he just sits back and > lets us live our lives. Sometimes maybe he wants to > help us, just like we long to help our loved ones, > husbands and little ones, etc. but we can't. Yah he > is > all powerful and all that, but maybe he has physical > laws that restrain him from just stepping in to > help. > Maybe the reason he is all powerful, is because he > knows all the laws of nature and physics and how to > manipulate and use them to his advantage, but in > order > to do that and for things to not be chaotic he also > has laws to abide by. What if he can't save my > daughter or husband. Maybe he wants to but he can't > make them better. Or else maybe he would be breaking > his own laws. > I don't know, All I know is that at this point, I am > tired of everyone's answer and excuse for everything > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2006 Report Share Posted February 23, 2006 I am in Portland in the Ceder Mills/Beaverton area. But my address is Portland. Do you maybe know of any Private/Nonschool related speech or OT people, RDI or ABA or anything, because I have insurance now that will cover in home therapy once a week for my children, but I don't know who to trust or where to look for them. The school here is not allowed to refer and they are not allowed to also be private venders. So I really want to find somebodya nd get started as I had to pull them out of their school, or really they gave away their spots. I will try writing down something good every day. And no I have never heard of that sickness and they have not mentioned it yet, they mentioned something called PFAPA and Crohn's disease and those are the two they are thinking maybe now, but they just have to wait and see if she flares up again, I guess. I'll ask them though thank you. I have to get on with the day, but thank you and everyone so much for your support. Esther --- Amnesty wrote: > I think I have said this before, but I do not think > that God " doesn't > give us more than we can handle. " You are right > about that. BUT...I > do think he gives us ways to find the help we need. > Trying to handle > SO much at once by yourself is too much. You need to > not only find > help for your kids and your husband, but for > yourself. Look into > counseling and medication. I don't recommend meds > without at least > some counseling, that is what MY husband did, and it > has not been > easy. Fortunately, he is finally realizing that, and > is going to see > a psychiatrist. > Has been tested for nuetropinia? I think > that's how you spell > it...my little cousin has that, and it causes high > white blood cell > count, and low white blood cell count, in cycles. > She is very > susceptable to infections and illness. Since it goes > in cycles, > sometimes she is totally fine, and then she gets > suddenly very ill, > and then gets better again. It started when she was > about 2.5. She is > 3.5 now, and getting better. The drs are hopeful > that she will > outgrow it, some kids do. Also, I know ti's > frustrating that she > doesn't talk, but with the number of words she has > now, at 2, I have > every confidence she will talk more as she gets > older. Most of the > kids I have worked with talk, at least enough to get > their wants and > needs met, and the few who don't, never did, not a > single word. So > they have other communication methods. Does she use > PECS or anything? > That might help with frustration for both of you, > and also helps > encourage spoken language as well. > One thing that has helped me in the past (although I > admit I don't > have anywhere near as much to deal with as you!) is > to write down one > good thing for each kid every day. It doesn't have > to be much > (maybe " didn't smear today! " or even " the > baby only cried for > 5 minutes instead of 30! " ) but when you start to > feel like ONLY bad > things are happening, or everyone is ALWAYS > complaining, sometimes it > helps to look at a list and say, oh wait...sometimes > we do have happy > moments! Plus once you get in the habit of writing > them down, you > start looking for the good things, instead of just > the bad. I hve > even had tutors on some of my more difficult cases > do this. When they > start dreading going to a child's house because of a > bad behavior > problem, looking for the positives really motivates > them, which in > turn, motivates the child. > I hope this helps, and if nothing else, at least you > know you can > always vent to us! > Amnesty > PS-Where in OR are you? I have family in Portland > > > > > > > > What happens when you are always the strong one? > What > > if you get sick? What if you just can't take any > more? > > Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than > you > > can handle, but this isn't about God. I believe in > > him, but I don't think that he has to do with > > evrything. Sometimes I think he just sits back and > > lets us live our lives. Sometimes maybe he wants > to > > help us, just like we long to help our loved ones, > > husbands and little ones, etc. but we can't. Yah > he is > > all powerful and all that, but maybe he has > physical > > laws that restrain him from just stepping in to > help. > > Maybe the reason he is all powerful, is because he > > knows all the laws of nature and physics and how > to > > manipulate and use them to his advantage, but in > order > > to do that and for things to not be chaotic he > also > > has laws to abide by. What if he can't save my > > daughter or husband. Maybe he wants to but he > can't > > make them better. Or else maybe he would be > breaking > > his own laws. > > I don't know, All I know is that at this point, I > am > > tired of everyone's answer and excuse for > everything > > is that " oh well, that's what God thinks you can > > handle " . The thing is there are people who have > died > > of stress and overload and their are some who have > > killed themselves when the stress is too, much, so > > obviousely if it was true about God knowing how > much > > we can bare and handle that would not ever happen. > > > I have too much to bare right now, not alone > anyway. I > > can't even sleep anymore. I get too wound up. My > hubby > > has been sick since we've been married but he > > progressively gets worse and more and more > depressed > > with his Crohn's disease and always talks about > not > > making it much more or feeling like he is dying or > > wanting to die from the pain. He honestly can't > help > > much, with anything. I am not mad at him, and > don't > > expect him too, but it is so hard when I do > everything > > myself. > > My kids are not progressing, infact quite the > > opposite. My is still sick and the doctors > > said, well it's not Luekemia now, becaus the wacko > > white blood count finally went down. But now they > > aren't even trying to find out what it is, even > though > > she is not even close to better yet and they act > like > > I am an over paronoid mom for wondering after they > > told me it was cancer for two weeks and now it is > > magically nothing. Even though she has lost 6 > pounds > > and sleeps 7 hours a day and through the night > without > > her Melatonin, and gets a fever of 101 or more > every > > three days or so and then it spikes again and > she's > > back in the hospital. > > Why won't she talk to me. I know she can't but I > pray > > every day that she will just tell me where it > hurts. > > My (so far) NT 8 month old baby is sick now too > with > > just an ear infection, but he's always up > screaming. I > > never eat and all I do is go go go and I never get > a > > break and yet I just keep gaining and can never > loose > > a pound. > > Nobody ever seems happy no matter what food I > make, > > what I do, everybody is always tantruming and > fussing > > and griping no matter what, it seems like and I am > > worn to nearly nothing. > > I don't even know if I really want an answer or > what > > any of you would even answer. I just honestly > don't > > know how much more I can take. It's past 2am and > why > > am I not sleeping? I know I should be, but sleep > wont > > come, I always just feel like throwing up, and I > am so > > unhealthy myself, but haven't been able to get > into a > > doctor for me in ages. Oh well, what are moms for > > right? > > Anyhow, my baby just started screaming and I don't > > want him to wake up anyone else so I have to go. > But I > > wish I could get a break and that just something, > > Money, extended family, school, work, something > could > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 23, 2006 Report Share Posted February 23, 2006 I don't know of anything right off the top of my head in that area, but I can try and find out. Amnesty > > > > > > What happens when you are always the strong one? > > What > > > if you get sick? What if you just can't take any > > more? > > > Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than > > you > > > can handle, but this isn't about God. I believe in > > > him, but I don't think that he has to do with > > > evrything. Sometimes I think he just sits back and > > > lets us live our lives. Sometimes maybe he wants > > to > > > help us, just like we long to help our loved ones, > > > husbands and little ones, etc. but we can't. Yah > > he is > > > all powerful and all that, but maybe he has > > physical > > > laws that restrain him from just stepping in to > > help. > > > Maybe the reason he is all powerful, is because he > > > knows all the laws of nature and physics and how > > to > > > manipulate and use them to his advantage, but in > > order > > > to do that and for things to not be chaotic he > > also > > > has laws to abide by. What if he can't save my > > > daughter or husband. Maybe he wants to but he > > can't > > > make them better. Or else maybe he would be > > breaking > > > his own laws. > > > I don't know, All I know is that at this point, I > > am > > > tired of everyone's answer and excuse for > > everything > > > is that " oh well, that's what God thinks you can > > > handle " . The thing is there are people who have > > died > > > of stress and overload and their are some who have > > > killed themselves when the stress is too, much, so > > > obviousely if it was true about God knowing how > > much > > > we can bare and handle that would not ever happen. > > > > > I have too much to bare right now, not alone > > anyway. I > > > can't even sleep anymore. I get too wound up. My > > hubby > > > has been sick since we've been married but he > > > progressively gets worse and more and more > > depressed > > > with his Crohn's disease and always talks about > > not > > > making it much more or feeling like he is dying or > > > wanting to die from the pain. He honestly can't > > help > > > much, with anything. I am not mad at him, and > > don't > > > expect him too, but it is so hard when I do > > everything > > > myself. > > > My kids are not progressing, infact quite the > > > opposite. My is still sick and the doctors > > > said, well it's not Luekemia now, becaus the wacko > > > white blood count finally went down. But now they > > > aren't even trying to find out what it is, even > > though > > > she is not even close to better yet and they act > > like > > > I am an over paronoid mom for wondering after they > > > told me it was cancer for two weeks and now it is > > > magically nothing. Even though she has lost 6 > > pounds > > > and sleeps 7 hours a day and through the night > > without > > > her Melatonin, and gets a fever of 101 or more > > every > > > three days or so and then it spikes again and > > she's > > > back in the hospital. > > > Why won't she talk to me. I know she can't but I > > pray > > > every day that she will just tell me where it > > hurts. > > > My (so far) NT 8 month old baby is sick now too > > with > > > just an ear infection, but he's always up > > screaming. I > > > never eat and all I do is go go go and I never get > > a > > > break and yet I just keep gaining and can never > > loose > > > a pound. > > > Nobody ever seems happy no matter what food I > > make, > > > what I do, everybody is always tantruming and > > fussing > > > and griping no matter what, it seems like and I am > > > worn to nearly nothing. > > > I don't even know if I really want an answer or > > what > > > any of you would even answer. I just honestly > > don't > > > know how much more I can take. It's past 2am and > > why > > > am I not sleeping? I know I should be, but sleep > > wont > > > come, I always just feel like throwing up, and I > > am so > > > unhealthy myself, but haven't been able to get > > into a > > > doctor for me in ages. Oh well, what are moms for > > > right? > > > Anyhow, my baby just started screaming and I don't > > > want him to wake up anyone else so I have to go. > > But I > > > wish I could get a break and that just something, > > > Money, extended family, school, work, something > > could > > > === message truncated === > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2006 Report Share Posted February 24, 2006 It warms my heart to know I was able to help in even the smallest of ways. who will be there for me? > > > > What happens when you are always the strong one? > What > if you get sick? What if you just can't take any > more? > Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than > you > can handle, but this isn't about God. I believe in > him, but I don't think that he has to do with > evrything. Sometimes I think he just sits back and > lets us live our lives. Sometimes maybe he wants to > help us, just like we long to help our loved ones, > husbands and little ones, etc. but we can't. Yah he > is > all powerful and all that, but maybe he has physical > laws that restrain him from just stepping in to > help. > Maybe the reason he is all powerful, is because he > knows all the laws of nature and physics and how to > manipulate and use them to his advantage, but in > order > to do that and for things to not be chaotic he also > has laws to abide by. What if he can't save my > daughter or husband. Maybe he wants to but he can't > make them better. Or else maybe he would be breaking > his own laws. > I don't know, All I know is that at this point, I am > tired of everyone's answer and excuse for everything > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 Hi there, I’ve kept these email because I too have wondered if this was really in the bible. My mom’s always told me but I thought it was just an old wives tale. Nope, it’s true, God is Faithful! I was reading my son the “Dear God, It’s Me Again” book and there it was. 1 Corinthians 10:13b He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. HTH, Barb Re: who will be there for me? Somebody's going to have to show me the verse in the Bible where it says God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I'm tired of people quoting that to ME. Seems like they're saying, " Better YOU than ME. " Those words are NOT a comfort. The Bible says God doesn't TEMPT you more than you can BEAR, and He will always give you a way out of the temptation. I just haven't found the part where you don't get more burdens than you can bear. We participate in a small group at church, and they have been babysitting for us so that we can go out alone or take one of the children out for a special date. They're rotating, and we go once or twice a month. I have been brutally honest about what autism has done to our family, the lack of sleep, the coping mechanisms we've developed to lessen meltdowns. As I began to open up about the difficulties, people have come forward to help. I gave a speech about the difficulties almost a year ago. I hired a professional organizer to help me with the kitchen. I finally decided that getting out from the chaos for MYSELF was worth the money. Two neighbors stepped forward to help me organize the basement. For Free. We're about halfway done with both the kitchen and the basement. We're getting there. Switching to RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) has made a HUGE HUGE difference. I felt like RDI was a fork in the road for our family. We were becoming stuck in being an autistic family. RDI has taken us in a new direction. We still have the autism, but it's not the focus 24/7. We're working on sibling issues, now. SibShops is wonderful. Has your husband been tested for celiac sprue? I felt like I was getting stuck in a hole I couldn't get out of, and just kept getting deeper and deeper. And I knew that I could make some changes that would help, but I didn't have the energy to make the changes. I needed help. Calling the organizer was one step. Talking about our family in public and to our small group was another. When people saw concrete ways they could help us, they did, and that has made a big difference. We still have a LONG way to go. We still communicate with one another too negatively in our home. We've created some really horrible patterns during our kids' youngest years. I'm still overwhelmed a lot of the time, have too much to do, and can't make a decision on where to begin. But I have hope again, and know that one of these days, we will be de-cluttered and functioning much better. Please reach out to some people nearby and start asking for help. You may have to talk to a lot of people. Are there respite services where you live? Have you called your community mental health department? family independence agency? (they're called different things in different states). Are there any Mega-Churches nearby? They might have programs for kids w/ special needs, or for families w/ special needs. Another support: There's a web site that sends a prayer to your mailbox every day. www.childrenofdestiny.org And another support: There's a yahoo group for parents raising children w/ autism in Christian homes, called PREACCH. Hang in there. We understand. PennY > > What happens when you are always the strong one? What > if you get sick? What if you just can't take any more? > Everyone says that God doesn't give you more than you > can handle, but this isn't about God. Autism_in_Girls-subscribe ------------------------ Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 I'm with Penny..... temptation and [physical/emotion suffering/ burdens/stress/trials]....whatever you want to call them.... are completely different things. When I think of temptation, I think of chocolate and Banderas! > Hi there, > I’ve kept these email because I too have wondered if this was > really in the > bible. My mom’s always told me but > I thought it was just an old wives tale. Nope, it’s true, God is > Faithful! I > was reading my son the “Dear God, It’s Me Again” book and there it > was. > > 1 Corinthians 10:13b He will not let you be tempted beyond what > you can > bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so > that you > can stand up under it. > > HTH, > Barb > > > Re: who will be there for me? > > Somebody's going to have to show me the verse in the Bible where it > says God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I'm tired of > people quoting that to ME. Seems like they're saying, " Better YOU > than ME. " Those words are NOT a comfort. > > The Bible says God doesn't TEMPT you more than you can BEAR, and He > will always give you a way out of the temptation. > > I just haven't found the part where you don't get more burdens than > you can bear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 It's my understanding that the Corinthians verse references is regarding our being tempted to sin, or a trial. This is very difference to me than a tribulation. The Greek word for " tempt " used in the Corinthians verse is " ajnaseivw " , translated from anaseio. The meaning, according to KJV Greek Lexicon is " to shake up, to stir up, excite, rouse " which is what satan is trying to do to us. If you read through the first part of that chapter, he's talking about various sins, idolatry, gossip, etc. I believe God can, and does allow us to experience tribulations far beyond what we our human selves can withstand so that we will see He is God, not us. I believe what many of us face with our situations is a tribulation, not a trial. Tribulation used in much of The New Testament, such as Act 14:22, " Confirming the souls of the disciples, and exhorting them to continue in the faith, and that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God, " is translated from agonizomai. It's meaning is, " to enter a contest: contend in the gymnastics games. To contend with adveraries, fight; to contend, struggle, with difficulties and dangers. To endeavor with strenuous zeal, strive: to obtain something. " I believe we are not in a trial, but a tribulation. But does this mean God will leave us? By no means! He is still here, still with us just the same. A story I cling to is 9:1-2, " 1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. 2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? 3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. " God is faithful, God is with us. We may not always feel Him, see Him, or hear Him. It is in those times we must cling to our faith and what we know of Him. In my own life I constantly have to be pushed beyond what I alone can bare so that He can work through me and in me in those few times I will actually let Him. And as to well-meaning church friends. Think of Job and his 3 well-meaning friends. Read how God gave them the shake-down near the end of the Book. Even Job's wife was telling him to curse God and die. How's that for helpful? He was in a tribulation, not a temptation. Debi P.S. Two great books for marriage improvement are " Winning Back Your Husband " and " Winning Back Your Wife " . Each person reads the appropriate one. In fact, I need to get mine back out for a refresher, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 I think our churches to great injustice to the whole issue of suffering. We wanna brag and talk up how good God is when someone is healed, someone gets better, or someone receives something good. But when someone stays sick, someone dies, etc, we seem to be very tight-lipped. We're miracle junkies. Then there's the whole movement that says if you aren't getting better, if your kid is still sick that you aren't believing enough, praying enough, or trusting enough. That's not what The Bible says. Job was all that and look what happened. That movement is harmful to our Faith and to Jesus; that's not what He's about and it hurts those of us who are trusting, who are praying, and who are believing. It's offensive because that's not the case. The fact is, if we believe God is all-knowing and all-powerful (which I do, no offense to anyone else who believes differently) then I accept that God is in control of not allowing healing or other blessings. There are blessings in suffering. Not that I want to suffer or experience bad things by any means, but it's been through the most difficult times of my life that I've learned the most. These are our teachable moments from Christ. Why our churches (and I'm including myself in that word) don't discuss how powerful God is when we continue to suffer from cancer, our house burns down, or a tsunami hits is about pride, in my op. It hurts for me to think that God would allow something I would not. It's beyond my understanding, my rationale, my choices. In those moments I have to swallow my infinite pride and accept that God knows more when a little child is left parentless or when a child becomes seriously ill. At my church a couple of years ago at 32 yr old nonsmoking female developed lung cancer. This was after her husband got on drugs and left her pregnant with their fourth child. She had surgery, chemo, our church raised $25k to help offset medical expenses. The church was singing God's praises of how he healed her as she was pronounced cancer-free a few months after. Two weeks ago I got an email with her funeral arrangements. I hadn't even known she was sick again. Why? Because we don't sing nearly as loud about how good God is when life seems to suck. But that's when we need to sing the loudest, that God is God and He is good, despite my complete lack of understanding as to why He would allow these children to suffer without a mother and a no-good father. But He's still God and He still knows way more than me. That is perhaps my most difficult lesson. Debi > > I'm with Penny..... temptation and [physical/emotion suffering/ > burdens/stress/trials]....whatever you want to call them.... are > completely different things. When I think of temptation, I think of > chocolate and Banderas! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Barb, thanks for taking the time to post. I've been round and round inside myself about that verse. We studied this verse at church recently (1 Corinthians 10:13b) at a weight loss group I joined called First Place (http://www.firstplace.org/), (It was a memory verse that week) and I asked, IS THIS THE VERSE EVERYONE REFERS TO WHEN THEY TELL YOU GOD DOESN'T GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE? And much to my surprise, quite a few of the women said, " yes, and it's taken out of context in that situation " , because a temptation doesn't mean burdens/stress etc etc etc. The verse refers to a temptation to sin or to a sinful pathway in life, I was told. One of the images that was given at First Place was that of going down a hallway of temptation, and there's always a door, to LOOK for the door, the way out. Anyway, *grin* I still don't think that " God doesn't give you more than you can handle " is in the Bible. PennY > > > Hi there, > > I've kept these email because I too have wondered if this was > > really in the > > bible. My mom's always told me but > > I thought it was just an old wives tale. Nope, it's true, God is > > Faithful! I > > was reading my son the " Dear God, It's Me Again " book and there it > > was. > > > > 1 Corinthians 10:13b He will not let you be tempted beyond what > > you can > > bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so > > that you > > can stand up under it. > > > > HTH, > > Barb > > > > > > Re: who will be there for me? > > > > Somebody's going to have to show me the verse in the Bible where it > > says God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I'm tired of > > people quoting that to ME. Seems like they're saying, " Better YOU > > than ME. " Those words are NOT a comfort. > > > > The Bible says God doesn't TEMPT you more than you can BEAR, and He > > will always give you a way out of the temptation. > > > > I just haven't found the part where you don't get more burdens than > > you can bear. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Thanks, Debi, for your posts. Very well explained!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 The church loves to quote out of 1 Corinthians and I must admit it is a book that is very much abused in interpretation. The church at Corinth was what was writing about in this book with the point of his teachings being that of the truth of the resurrection and love as in 1 Corinthians 13 where it talks of love being kind and never jealous, never seeking its own and that it never fails. I can give great detail on this subject, or I can lead you to read a book called " Why Not Women? " by Loren Cunningham and Hamilton. This book has wonderfully detailed explanations on the history and context surrounding Corinthians and . You are right in those words are not a comfort. Truly, comfort for us occurs when someone confirms our deepest desires and greatest hopes. When that doesn't happen, we feel lost and even as Believers; we seek answers in dark alleys. In our suffering from the human condition we can only see so far. We see freedom from pain as returning to where we were before we encountered such pain, and we see happiness as being that which isn't lurking in the dark. But what if our vision of what we thought was good or happiness is really not that at all? Since we have no idea what perfection feels like we truly have no idea what true happiness feels like either. Perhaps when we loose what we think makes us happy it is only so we can see, feel and experience that which brings us that true, pure happiness we have never seen. A loving God by His very definition would not want us to live content with a mediocre love, a semi joy, or a partial happiness. And if you really read 1 Corinthians 10 and continue the thought through 13:10 you will see " when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. " Who will be there for you? God will and IS there for you now. The question I must always ask myself when I think God isn't there is " Am I REALLY there? " God does not force love down our throat; we must turn and accept it. Just accept it, NOT earn it. This doesn't mean that you are a bad Christian, or that you aren't working hard enough. It simply means the world is fallen and all we know as humans in this world is to seek that which we know to be good. But that which we seek may only in the grand scheme be partially good and when it is taken away, it is always to help us see and experience that which is perfectly good. Nadine Re: who will be there for me? > > Somebody's going to have to show me the verse in the Bible where it > says God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I'm tired of > people quoting that to ME. Seems like they're saying, " Better YOU > than ME. " Those words are NOT a comfort. > > The Bible says God doesn't TEMPT you more than you can BEAR, and He > will always give you a way out of the temptation. > > I just haven't found the part where you don't get more burdens than > you can bear. Autism_in_Girls-subscribe ------------------------ Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 laura you are much wise person and smart knowing of the real truths Sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 In a message dated 5/30/2006 1:13:06 AM Central Daylight Time, fightingautism@... writes: God is faithful, God is with us. We may not always feel Him, see Him, or hear Him. It is in those times we must cling to our faith and what we know of Him. In my own life I constantly have to be pushed beyond what I alone can bare so that He can work through me and in me in those few times I will actually let Him. Dear Debi, I just wanted to tell you that your last messages were such a testimonial to your faith, I am in awe of you. I have the same beliefs that you do and feel the same way. It is only this faith that can get me through the rough times I have gone through and will keep going through. God bless you for your wonderful gift of words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 , thank you, but please don't consider me anything more than a fallen person! Like the song says, " God's still a workin on me. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Thank you for the complement Sondra. It means much to me coming from someone I admire so much. Nadine Re: who will be there for me? laura you are much wise person and smart knowing of the real truths Sondra Autism_in_Girls-subscribe ------------------------ Autism_in_Girls-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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