Re: Washington state man 3rd U.S. H1N1 swine flu death

[Guest guest]

This is one amongst many reasons to try to keep yourself in good shape, both

cardiovascular as well as strength, weight, etc. and doing your best to avoid

ever going down the path of the various weaknesses. While I've made a real

effort to keep in proper shape, nonetheless, there are some time bombs in my

family's DNA that have hit me, as well as some personal variations, and as such,

I am more vulnerable than perhaps most, but I do have concerns: , am I

correct in remembering you have CHF (my foolish oldest brother was just

diagnosed with it: he's an example of how NOT to take care of yourself, and he

did it all without getting involved in smoking, other drugs, or alcohol) and

you're still smoking? I'm concerned where that may lead you when it comes to

these annoying little facts of life in the Darwinian reality.

>

>

http://www.examiner.com/x-8543-SF-Health-News-Examiner~y2009m5d10-Washington-sta\

te-man-3rd-US-H1N1-swine-flu-death

>

> Washington state man 3rd U.S. H1N1 swine flu death

>

> May 10, 9:19 AM

>

> A man in his 30s is the third person in the United States to die from

complications of swine flu, Washington state health officials said Saturday.

>

> Officials with the Washington State Department of Health say that H1N1 swine

flu is to blame in the death of a Snohomish County man in his 30s. The man,

officials pointed out had underlying heart conditions, but the are confirming

that his death was from complications of swine-origin influenza.

>

> Meanwhile, concerns growing among health officials worldwide that this

particular strain of H1N1 swine flu has " pandemic potential. " WHO is looking to

put in place a plan to produce up to 2 billion doses of H1N1 swine flu vaccine

by fall, the number they expect could be needed in a pandemic.

>

> So far, there have been more than 4,150 confirmed cases of swine flu in 29

countries, with 48 deaths in Mexico, three U.S. deaths and one fatality in Costa

Rica. Cases were confirmed in Japan and Australia within the last 24 hours.

>

> In the two prior U.S. swine flu deaths, those of a toddler and a pregnant

woman, each suffered from other health complications before becoming infected

with the virus, according to a report released Thursday.

>

[Guest guest]

strict-nonconformist wrote: excerpted:This is one amongst many reasons to try to keep yourself in good shape,

both cardiovascular as well as strength, weight, etc. and doing your

best to avoid ever going down the path of the various weaknesses. While

I've made a real effort to keep in proper shape, nonetheless, there are

some time bombs in my family's DNA that have hit me, as well as some

personal variations, and as such, I am more vulnerable than perhaps

most,....My reply;Thank you to strict-nonconformist for this reminder to do what is under our control to be healthy.With a repaired heart valve, I also am more at risk, if I contract influenza or certain other illnesses.Some of our group are responsible for others in their care, those persons might be really stressed if their caregiver fell ill.Also, some of us are intoverts who would find hospitalization particularily stressful.As strict-nonconformist wrote Re: Advice part 3 Wednesday, May

6, 2009 10:26 AM excerpted

"A spoken/unspoken thought casually made may be no more than an idle wish:

more than one thought about something may be qualified as a dream:

beyond the dream stage, actual work is required: anything not written

down probably doesn't even go as far as a plan, and if you fail to

plan, you plan to fail:

a plan with no measurable objectives is insane and vague, and little

more than a dream, as you won't be able to measure against results and

answer the question, "Are we there yet?""

My comment; This could certainly apply to developing a plan on how to improve our health in specific steps. (Personally my plan includes 3 changes, am recording my progress daily)Here's a couple of links to government websites with suggestions for healthy living.http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hl-vs/index-eng.phphttp://www.cdc.gov/HealthyLiving/renaissanzelady"My cat Rusty is a servant of the Living God."(adapted from

a poem by Smart)

Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now!

[Guest guest]

  excerpted:

>

> This is one amongst many reasons to try to keep yourself in good shape,

> both cardiovascular as well as strength, weight, etc. and doing your

> best to avoid ever going down the path of the various weaknesses. While

> I've made a real effort to keep in proper shape, nonetheless, there are

> some time bombs in my family's DNA that have hit me, as well as some

> personal variations, and as such, I am more vulnerable than perhaps

> most,....

>

>

> My reply;

> Thank you to strict-nonconformist for this reminder to do what is under our

control to be healthy.

You're welcome!

>

> With a repaired heart valve, I also am more at risk, if I contract influenza

or certain other illnesses.

> Some of our group are responsible for others in their care, those persons

might be really stressed if their caregiver fell ill.

Yes, there may also be ulterior motives for keeping well: ulterior isn't

necessarily evil in such cases

> Also, some of us are intoverts who would find hospitalization particularily

stressful.

>

I'm not the most introverted (though I can readily go > 24 hours without human

contact and I'll be perfectly happy: sometimes, I NEED to do that to preserve my

sanity!) and I do have sufficient experience to tell you this: even the greatest

extrovert that's sane and not in a coma of natural/artificial means will, if

they aren't those that sleep the sleep of the dead, be able to tell you that the

last place you ever go for rest is a hospital.

> As strict-nonconformist wrote Re: Advice part 3 Wednesday, May

> 6, 2009 10:26 AM excerpted

>

>

>

>

>

>

> " A spoken/unspoken thought casually made may be no more than an

idle wish:

>

> more than one thought about something may be qualified as a dream:

>

> beyond the dream stage, actual work is required: anything not written

> down probably doesn't even go as far as a plan, and if you fail to

> plan, you plan to fail:

>

> a plan with no measurable objectives is insane and vague, and little

> more than a dream, as you won't be able to measure against results and

> answer the question, " Are we there yet? " "

>

>

> My comment;

> This could certainly apply to developing a plan on how to improve our health

in specific steps.  (Personally my plan includes 3 changes, am recording my

progress daily)

>

> Here's a couple of links to government websites with suggestions for healthy

living.

>

> http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hl-vs/index-eng.php

>

> http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyLiving/

>

And this sort of thing is why I've been paying a personal trainer (who is truly

qualified, and knows how to adapt to my physiological problems, of which there

are sufficient ones to make things interesting) for general strength training,

combined with why I started running in 2002, to help keep various things in as

much check as feasible, and to help me continually adapt to a progressively

degenerate inner ear disease, while still remaining functional. Net result:

most of the time, my functional balance is better now than back in 2002 when it

hit me and was diagnosed, and while there's no sane thought of me being a

mountain climber, I have run along quite a few tricky local mountain trails in

the past year, on trips with my personal trainer. In theory, I can certainly

cover these trails on foot by myself: in practice, these trails are more than

rugged enough and animal-blessed to make it remotely sane, as these trails

aren't even bicycle-capable (often not horse-capable, either) and the trees are

so thick all the way around that there's no chance of using a helicopter: you go

on foot, or not at all, and so varied and hilly that people not in perfect shape

aren't likely to make decent time through them on foot, even walking. In short:

if you have something bad befall you, even though you're not more than a few

miles away from a road (only if you know the trails well enough! No reference

points you can use in the distance!) the reality is you're not getting medical

help all that fast

Here's an interesting observation I've made while doing my most serious training

for racing: the more you exercise and make demands of your body, the less likely

you are going to go for the junk food, and you'll hunger a bit more for the

higher octane stuff. Sadly, I still have more of a desire for junk than is

healthy, and I admit, I still need to cut it down a bit more (But, the first

step towards change is to acknowledge that there's a problem or at least a

chance to improve).

>

> renaissanzelady

>

> " My cat Rusty is a servant of the Living God. "

> (adapted from

> a poem by Smart)

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________________________

> Yahoo! Canada Toolbar: Search from anywhere on the web, and bookmark your

favourite sites. Download it now

> http://ca.toolbar.yahoo.com.

>

[Guest guest]

-- In FAMSecretSociety , strictnon_conformist wrote:

"This is one amongst many reasons to try to keep yourself in good shape, both cardiovascular as well as strength, weight, etc. and doing your best to avoid ever going down the path of the various weaknesses. While I've made a real effort to keep in proper shape, nonetheless, there are some time bombs in my family's DNA that have hit me, as well as some personal variations, and as such, I am more vulnerable than perhaps most, but I do have concerns: , am I correct in remembering you have CHF (my foolish oldest brother was just diagnosed with it: he's an example of how NOT to take care of yourself, and he did it all without getting involved in smoking, other drugs, or alcohol) and you're still smoking? I'm concerned where that may lead you when it comes to these annoying little facts of life in the Darwinian reality."

Ah yes. It's been a long time since we last chatted, Strict. Yes, you are correct. At one time I had been told I had Congestive Heart Failure.

It is important to remember, however, that Congestive Heart Failure is a label that can be as broad as "common cold" when it comes to causes and recovery and lack thereof. In some cases, shifting around one's lifestyle is all one needs to slow, stop, or reverse CHF. Yet in severe cases, where the heart muscle is simply dying, there may be very little a person can do.

http://www.medicinenet.com/congestive_heart_failure/article.htm

Congestive heart failure (CHF) is a condition in which the heart's function as a pump to deliver oxygen rich blood to the body is inadequate to meet the body's needs. Congestive heart failure can be caused by:

diseases that weaken the heart muscle,

diseases that cause stiffening of the heart muscles, or

diseases that increase oxygen demand by the body tissue beyond the capability of the heart to deliver.

http://www.medicinenet.com/congestive_heart_failure/page2.htm

What causes congestive heart failure?

Many disease processes can impair the pumping efficiency of the heart to cause congestive heart failure. In the United States, the most common causes of congestive heart failure are:

coronary artery disease,

high blood pressure (hypertension),

longstanding alcohol abuse, and

disorders of the heart valves.

Less common causes include viral infections of the stiffening of the heart muscle, thyroid disorders, disorders of the heart rhythm, and many others.

You and I probably last chatted in 2004. A lot has happened since then.

I cannot remember the exact year I quit the job at the bank, but I was working 10 to 16 hour days at that time 5 days a week, held a weekend job in addition to that, etc. My personal life was pretty stressed out, and yes, I was smoking.

I had been seeing a counselor to discuss issues related to my divorce and a subsequent failed relationship and was talking about the accumulation of stress in my life and wondering what to do about it.

The standard methods of getting rid of stress which she suggested failed to work for me. Deep breathing did very little. Exercise seemed to increase stress. Talking about it didn't do much. Even though my new job was far less stressful than my old one, the overall stress remained. Over the years, my weight went from 160, which is at the lower end of my weight range, up to 210 pounds.

What caused me to turn everything around was simply that my clothes were too tight fitting and I was bulging over them, and I did not want to go to the expense of buying a whole new wardrobe.

I made some hard decisions.

1) What I did first was to decide who or what was causing me to feel stressed, and then I simply cut those people, and things or events out of my life. I no longer went to family functions, saw my sister less, dropped friends.

I began talking to my parents less, and whenever they or my sister tussled with me, rather than taking it all, I fought back, although not with brute insults, but with logical argumentation. I let them know how I was feeling and what sort of impact they were having on my life. In the short term, that increased the stress, but in the long term, the familial relationship improved somewhat because they've learned to respect me more and I have learned to respect them more.

2) I also simplified my life. I went through everything I owned and gave away things that I no longer used and threw out stuff that I should have thrown out years ago.

3) I became more confrontational with people in the manner of holding them accountable for injustices to me and to other people.

The whole flap over at AI was the beginning of that era, and my subsequent flaps with trolls on this forum is the continuation of it. I am sick and tired of people steamrolling other people and getting away with it. And I am sick of people saying that they have a right to this or a right to that but who in the same breath do not want to ackowledge how their attitudes, actions, and affectations impact those around them or society as a whole.

It is indeed nice to sometimes ban those whom I wish would be banned from society, and whom society bans when they catch up with these people by throwing them in jail for their pot smoking, drug using, or otherwise illegal or legally questionable behavior.

4) As for exercise, instead of stopping it, I poured it on. Hiking for 8 hours a day each day on the weekends while carrying a thirty pound backpack. I also carried that pack up mountains everday for weeks at a time during vacations.

5) I cut out almost completely the Mc's and Burger King and put more chicken (fried and grilled) into my diet, and I quit with the supersizing at resteraunts if I DID eat at them, and halved my portion sizes at home. As a result, the percentage of fruit and vegetables in my diet went up. I also cut out most of the salt I was using, and cut out most of the sweets. I MIGHT have two cookies a day now at most. I do not drink as much soda pop as I used to. At home it's a glass a day, maximum. On the road, I indulge in all these things, however, and I simply do not let it bother me.

6) I turned my efforts toward making a difference in the world and changing it for the better. I built on my experience in environmentalism and my job at a consulting firm for non-profits and created eight more forums for Aspies in addition to this one. Meanwhile, I have worked hard with Raven on the MIC project, most of my work centering around writing over 15 podcasts and getting them linked to on the web by over 600 organizations around the world.

[i have discovered that a good half of the people in the non-profit sector are leeches -trying to make a living off of other people's donations, and of the remaining half, half of those people are there to "feel good" about making a difference while the other half are hell bent on making a difference. This works to my advantage, because if you exploit the apathy of the three quarters of the people who aren't working hard, you can really get your agenda out front.]

7) I never drink except for a glass or two of wine at Thanksgiving, Easter, and Christmas dinners, and of course, the sip of wine at communion. The smoking I have not gotten a handle on. There have been times in the past four years where I have quit for months, but it has never in my life gotten much above half a pack a day either except in times of EXTREME stress. Sooner or later, that will have to go too.

8) I began going to bed earlier and sleeping later.

9) I cut out most of the TV shows I watch and listen only to classical, instrumental, or Native American music these days, although Soca and African music creeps in now and then as does 80's music.

I also had to face up to some other hard facts: What I realized is during all of this is that my biggest stressor is people, so I simply stay away from them as much as possible. The more of a recluse I am, the better I feel. And I have learned to accept myself for who I am.

I had to cut out the exercise. It did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to reduce stress, and no matter how much or how little I exercised, it did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help me sleep better.

The result of all this -even with the stress of all of Cub's medical problems- is that

-My weight hovers around 165, (that's a loss of 45 pounds) which is well within the proper weight range for my height

-My blood pressure falls in the normal to "below normal" range

-I rarely have angina (chest pain) attacks anymore

-I rarely have the pain in my arm which portends a heart attack.

-I rarely have shortness of breath anymore.

-I sleep somewhat better than I used to

-I find my cravings for cigarettes are now based more on the need to have a nicotine fix than a need to burn off stress.

-I feel like I have more energy

-My optimism in regard to personal matters has improved

-The shortness of breath that I had been experiencing which was nearly constant at one point is rare now.

I am far from being a healthy specimen, but I have taken better care of myself in recent years.

As for whether or not I am more susceptible to the flu because of my heart, I do not care. Just since these forums have been created, I have seen one of my moderators die, one of my members die, another of my personal friends die, and Raven's son's diagnosis is that he could die if he does not have an operation by August.

In my life, I have lost three friends to suicide, three to cancer, one to an accident.

For me personally, I have come to feel that there is nothing to fear about meeting one's God, and I do not think we should strive to stay away from Him when we are all going to be taken anyway. This does not mean we should disrespect our bodies either and not care for ourselves. It does NOT mean that when we are given a terminal diagnosis that we should just give up. But to worry TOO MUCH about death is silly when what comes afterwards will far outway anything we have experienced whilst alive.

Yet at the same time, I think that each person must determine for himself or herself what they wish to do with their lives, and I think that by the very nature of selfishness, flu spreads. As does any other virus. HIV being another example. Selfishness - be it not wearing a mask when infected with the flu or not telling a partner they have HIV before sex, or an employer being miserly with sick days- is the root cause of the spread of disease. And everyone's desire to be with everyone else, and everyone's need to be socially accepted by others -egotism, in other words- is the secondary cause of the spread of disease.

We want to be with others so we go places when sick. We don't want to be seen as abusing privilleges at work so we go to work when sick. We don't want to offend our sexual partners, so we don't use condoms when infected with HIV. Etc. Etc. Etc.

That is why I post things about how deadly this flu can get. So people can make the choice to sit on the sidelines and watch the carousel go round and round and hopefully avoid the flu as the people in Biblical times avoided the various plagues and destruction inflicted upon others by God for letting themselves get the better of them.

Administrator

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Too many points to reply to, but I see you've definitely made a change for the

much better. It's funny: for as much as (presumably) my oldest brother isn't an

aspie, he is by far the person most resistant to change in my immediate family,

it seems, and my fear is that this is what will kill him, directly or

indirectly. He is also horribly risk-averse to the stultifying level: if he

loses his current job (I place a greater than 50% probability on that, due to,

again, resisting change, and being too much in denial, and his employer perhaps

not wanting his risk) which is in printing in Utah, I can see him becoming

effectively unemployable: if not because his skills don't have a wide enough

general applicability, then because he can't find employment doing anything else

nearly well-paid enough to pay for his house and usual living expenses, and if

not that, well, he'll always need medical coverage at a far greater level than

he's used before recently, meaning he can't risk losing that, because then he'd

be bankrupt very quickly. I fear for his long-term future's viability, and

recognize there's nothing I can or should do to help him, outside of counseling

him, because I also know with certainty that the only change that can come is

from within one's self, and even when he had a reasonable opportunity to branch

off on his own and try to make things work doing something he knew outside his

current employment, and loved, he refused to take the chance: if anyone could

have made that work (running a hobby shop) my brother could have: if not, well,

at least an attempt would have been made, but instead, his less-reliable friend

took control of that hobby shop, pissed off too many customers, and quickly ran

it into the dumpster. His main hobby love of trains has had him actually be a

fireman and engineer on the Heber Creeper in Utah, but with him allowing his

health to get to where it's at now, I'm not sure what he could do for employment

in that realm.

In comparison to the parable of the talents, I see you've at least increased

yours somewhat, I've increased mine somewhat (sometimes I feel like I've lost

them at times) but my oldest brother hasn't really tried: if he doesn't very

shortly do an about-face, he'll certainly have what he's got now taken away, and

nobody to blame but himself. At least if you try, but don't succeed, you won't

have the self-inflicted punching bag of your history and " If only I would have "

hanging around your neck. It seems probable that at the rate you're going,

you'll never be rich in financial terms (though perhaps you won't be poor

financially for retirement, assuming your savings aren't eaten away by the

inevitable rampant inflation that must happen after all these bailouts, and

whatever other stupid things are enacted), but at least you'll have left a

legacy worth remembering: my brother will most likely just leave a house that's

not paid off, and a bunch of collected stuff, and people will only be able to

say: he went to work, he went home, he did some hobby stuff, he died, but nobody

really remembers his name, because he never really tried. In effect: my brother

will most likely be most notable for having not even tried to be notable or

achieve anything greater than collecting a paycheck, not even going through all

that's required to ensure he's raised children and taught them needful things

(his romantic life, well, he's a hopeless romantic and fixated on only one woman

that has effectively teased him for 25 years). <sigh> If you fail to try, you

try to fail: that's the most likely legacy of my oldest brother

>

> " This is one amongst many reasons to try to keep yourself in good shape,

> both cardiovascular as well as strength, weight, etc. and doing your

> best to avoid ever going down the path of the various weaknesses. While

> I've made a real effort to keep in proper shape, nonetheless, there are

> some time bombs in my family's DNA that have hit me, as well as some

> personal variations, and as such, I am more vulnerable than perhaps

> most, but I do have concerns: , am I correct in remembering you

> have CHF (my foolish oldest brother was just

> diagnosed with it: he's an example of how NOT to take care of yourself,

> and he did it all without getting involved in smoking, other drugs, or

> alcohol) and you're still smoking? I'm concerned where that may lead you

> when it comes to these annoying little facts of life in the Darwinian

> reality. "

>

> Ah yes. It's been a long time since we last chatted, Strict. Yes, you

> are correct. At one time I had been told I had Congestive Heart Failure.

>

> It is important to remember, however, that Congestive Heart Failure is a

> label that can be as broad as " common cold " when it comes to causes and

> recovery and lack thereof. In some cases, shifting around one's

> lifestyle is all one needs to slow, stop, or reverse CHF. Yet in severe

> cases, where the heart muscle is simply dying, there may be very little

> a person can do.

>

> http://www.medicinenet.com/congestive_heart_failure/article.htm

> <http://www.medicinenet.com/congestive_heart_failure/article.htm>

>

> Congestive heart failure (CHF) is a condition in which the heart's

> function as a pump to deliver oxygen rich blood to the body is

> inadequate to meet the body's needs. Congestive heart failure can be

> caused by:

>

> 1. diseases that weaken the heart muscle,

>

> 2. diseases that cause stiffening of the heart muscles, or

>

> 3. diseases that increase oxygen demand by the body tissue beyond the

> capability of the heart to deliver.

>

> http://www.medicinenet.com/congestive_heart_failure/page2.htm

> <http://www.medicinenet.com/congestive_heart_failure/page2.htm>

> What causes congestive heart failure?

>

>

> Many disease processes can impair the pumping efficiency of the heart to

> cause congestive heart failure. In the United States, the most common

> causes of congestive heart failure are:

>

> * coronary artery disease,

>

> * high blood pressure

> <http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=378>

> (hypertension),

>

> * longstanding alcohol abuse

> <http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=8709> , and

>

> * disorders of the heart valves

> <http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=42350> .

>

> Less common causes include viral infections of the stiffening of the

> heart muscle, thyroid disorders, disorders of the heart rhythm

> <http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=84544> , and

> many others.

>

> You and I probably last chatted in 2004. A lot has happened since then.

>

> I cannot remember the exact year I quit the job at the bank, but I was

> working 10 to 16 hour days at that time 5 days a week, held a weekend

> job in addition to that, etc. My personal life was pretty stressed out,

> and yes, I was smoking.

>

> I had been seeing a counselor to discuss issues related to my divorce

> and a subsequent failed relationship and was talking about the

> accumulation of stress in my life and wondering what to do about it.

>

> The standard methods of getting rid of stress which she suggested failed

> to work for me. Deep breathing did very little. Exercise seemed to

> increase stress. Talking about it didn't do much. Even though my new job

> was far less stressful than my old one, the overall stress remained.

> Over the years, my weight went from 160, which is at the lower end of my

> weight range, up to 210 pounds.

>

> What caused me to turn everything around was simply that my clothes were

> too tight fitting and I was bulging over them, and I did not want to go

> to the expense of buying a whole new wardrobe.

>

> I made some hard decisions.

>

> 1) What I did first was to decide who or what was causing me to feel

> stressed, and then I simply cut those people, and things or events out

> of my life. I no longer went to family functions, saw my sister less,

> dropped friends.

>

> I began talking to my parents less, and whenever they or my sister

> tussled with me, rather than taking it all, I fought back, although not

> with brute insults, but with logical argumentation. I let them know how

> I was feeling and what sort of impact they were having on my life. In

> the short term, that increased the stress, but in the long term, the

> familial relationship improved somewhat because they've learned to

> respect me more and I have learned to respect them more.

>

> 2) I also simplified my life. I went through everything I owned and gave

> away things that I no longer used and threw out stuff that I should have

> thrown out years ago.

>

> 3) I became more confrontational with people in the manner of holding

> them accountable for injustices to me and to other people.

>

> The whole flap over at AI was the beginning of that era, and my

> subsequent flaps with trolls on this forum is the continuation of it. I

> am sick and tired of people steamrolling other people and getting away

> with it. And I am sick of people saying that they have a right to this

> or a right to that but who in the same breath do not want to ackowledge

> how their attitudes, actions, and affectations impact those around them

> or society as a whole.

>

> It is indeed nice to sometimes ban those whom I wish would be banned

> from society, and whom society bans when they catch up with these people

> by throwing them in jail for their pot smoking, drug using, or otherwise

> illegal or legally questionable behavior.

>

> 4) As for exercise, instead of stopping it, I poured it on. Hiking for 8

> hours a day each day on the weekends while carrying a thirty pound

> backpack. I also carried that pack up mountains everday for weeks at a

> time during vacations.

>

> 5) I cut out almost completely the Mc's and Burger King and put

> more chicken (fried and grilled) into my diet, and I quit with the

> supersizing at resteraunts if I DID eat at them, and halved my portion

> sizes at home. As a result, the percentage of fruit and vegetables in my

> diet went up. I also cut out most of the salt I was using, and cut out

> most of the sweets. I MIGHT have two cookies a day now at most. I do not

> drink as much soda pop as I used to. At home it's a glass a day,

> maximum. On the road, I indulge in all these things, however, and I

> simply do not let it bother me.

>

> 6) I turned my efforts toward making a difference in the world and

> changing it for the better. I built on my experience in environmentalism

> and my job at a consulting firm for non-profits and created eight more

> forums for Aspies in addition to this one. Meanwhile, I have worked hard

> with Raven on the MIC project, most of my work centering around writing

> over 15 podcasts and getting them linked to on the web by over 600

> organizations around the world.

>

> [i have discovered that a good half of the people in the non-profit

> sector are leeches -trying to make a living off of other people's

> donations, and of the remaining half, half of those people are there to

> " feel good " about making a difference while the other half are hell bent

> on making a difference. This works to my advantage, because if you

> exploit the apathy of the three quarters of the people who aren't

> working hard, you can really get your agenda out front.]

>

> 7) I never drink except for a glass or two of wine at Thanksgiving,

> Easter, and Christmas dinners, and of course, the sip of wine at

> communion. The smoking I have not gotten a handle on. There have been

> times in the past four years where I have quit for months, but it has

> never in my life gotten much above half a pack a day either except in

> times of EXTREME stress. Sooner or later, that will have to go too.

>

> 8) I began going to bed earlier and sleeping later.

>

> 9) I cut out most of the TV shows I watch and listen only to classical,

> instrumental, or Native American music these days, although Soca and

> African music creeps in now and then as does 80's music.

>

> I also had to face up to some other hard facts: What I realized is

> during all of this is that my biggest stressor is people, so I simply

> stay away from them as much as possible. The more of a recluse I am, the

> better I feel. And I have learned to accept myself for who I am.

>

> I had to cut out the exercise. It did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to reduce

> stress, and no matter how much or how little I exercised, it did

> ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help me sleep better.

>

> The result of all this -even with the stress of all of Cub's medical

> problems- is that

>

> -My weight hovers around 165, (that's a loss of 45 pounds) which is well

> within the proper weight range for my height

>

> -My blood pressure falls in the normal to " below normal " range

>

> -I rarely have angina (chest pain) attacks anymore

>

> -I rarely have the pain in my arm which portends a heart attack.

>

> -I rarely have shortness of breath anymore.

>

> -I sleep somewhat better than I used to

>

> -I find my cravings for cigarettes are now based more on the need to

> have a nicotine fix than a need to burn off stress.

>

> -I feel like I have more energy

>

> -My optimism in regard to personal matters has improved

>

> -The shortness of breath that I had been experiencing which was nearly

> constant at one point is rare now.

>

> I am far from being a healthy specimen, but I have taken better care of

> myself in recent years.

>

> As for whether or not I am more susceptible to the flu because of my

> heart, I do not care. Just since these forums have been created, I have

> seen one of my moderators die, one of my members die, another of my

> personal friends die, and Raven's son's diagnosis is that he could die

> if he does not have an operation by August.

>

> In my life, I have lost three friends to suicide, three to cancer, one

> to an accident.

>

> For me personally, I have come to feel that there is nothing to fear

> about meeting one's God, and I do not think we should strive to stay

> away from Him when we are all going to be taken anyway. This does not

> mean we should disrespect our bodies either and not care for ourselves.

> It does NOT mean that when we are given a terminal diagnosis that we

> should just give up. But to worry TOO MUCH about death is silly when

> what comes afterwards will far outway anything we have experienced

> whilst alive.

>

> Yet at the same time, I think that each person must determine for

> himself or herself what they wish to do with their lives, and I think

> that by the very nature of selfishness, flu spreads. As does any other

> virus. HIV being another example. Selfishness - be it not wearing a mask

> when infected with the flu or not telling a partner they have HIV before

> sex, or an employer being miserly with sick days- is the root cause of

> the spread of disease. And everyone's desire to be with everyone else,

> and everyone's need to be socially accepted by others -egotism, in other

> words- is the secondary cause of the spread of disease.

>

> We want to be with others so we go places when sick. We don't want to

> be seen as abusing privilleges at work so we go to work when sick. We

> don't want to offend our sexual partners, so we don't use condoms when

> infected with HIV. Etc. Etc. Etc.

>

> That is why I post things about how deadly this flu can get. So people

> can make the choice to sit on the sidelines and watch the carousel go

> round and round and hopefully avoid the flu as the people in Biblical

> times avoided the various plagues and destruction inflicted upon others

> by God for letting themselves get the better of them.

>

>

>

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

"Too many points to reply to, but I see you've definitely made a change for the much better. It's funny: for as much as (presumably) my oldest brother isn't an aspie, he is by far the person most resistant to change in my immediate family, it seems, and my fear is that this is what will kill him, directly or indirectly."

I've come to realize that part of the stress which was causing my problem was all the changes I SHOULD be making in my life and the overwhelming effort it would take to make all of them. Compromising and changing some things but not all significantly reduced stress.

One needs to keep in mind that I could change EVERYTHING but it would not matter beyond a certain point anyway because I also have a weak heart valve that is susceptible to bacterial and viral infection. My grandmother had it, my dad has it, and I have it too. An infection of that valve was ultimately what killed her...at the age of 94. And it could kill me too at a very young age. People younger than I have died from infections of it.

My dad meanwhile takes all kinds of vitamins and exercises to stay healthy and avoid getting sick, and when he does get sick he babies himself as I suppose most people should. But really, no one on earth at present is immortal. There comes a time when one has to ask how much time one wants to waste on one's health when one can be doing other more pleasureable things which might boost the spirit and extend one's lifespan that way.

Your brother could well die due to inaction, but that is his choice. I would much rather have meat at my meals and make them enjoyable to me than become a vegetarian and eat terrible tasting veggies that I cannot stand. Why should the time it takes to eat two meals a day become something I dread rather than something I look forward to? Why should I force myself to eat that third meal (breakfast) when all it does is make me throw up and get me dizzy, tire me, and make me feel faint? Why should I exercise TOO MUCH when all it does is make me feel exhausted and depressed?

Would having all these bad feelings from changing my lifestyle extend my lifespan or make that extended lifespan worth living?

"He is also horribly risk-averse to the stultifying level: if he loses his current job (I place a greater than 50% probability on that, due to, again, resisting change, and being too much in denial, and his employer perhaps not wanting his risk) which is in printing in Utah, I can see him becoming effectively unemployable: if not because his skills don't have a wide enough general applicability, then because he can't find employment doing anything else nearly well-paid enough to pay for his house and usual living expenses, and if not that, well, he'll always need medical coverage at a far greater level than he's used before recently, meaning he can't risk losing that, because then he'd be bankrupt very quickly. I fear for his long-term future's viability, and recognize there's nothing I can or should do to help him, outside of counseling him, because I also know with certainty that the only change that can come is from within one's self, and even when he had a reasonable opportunity to branch off on his own and try to make things work doing something he knew outside his current employment, and loved, he refused to take the chance: if anyone could have made that work (running a hobby shop) my brother could have: if not, well, at least an attempt would have been made, but instead, his less-reliable friend took control of that hobby shop, pissed off too many customers, and quickly ran it into the dumpster."

Actually Strict, there IS a way to help people like these, but most people do not want to go that far to help them. Parents do it until their kids are the age of majority, and then they throw their kids out of the house. But there are some people that need to be taken care of, completely and totally. We like to say that this is just enabling, and for other types of people, if we took care of them in that fashion, we WOULD be enabling. But there ARE people in the world who simply cannot cope with change as fast as society forces them to change, or else the changes society demands they make are too much for them.

I, for example, will be one of these people who will never completely embrace the newest technology. I have a cell phone, but it is only for emergencies. All it is, is a phone. I have seen and toyed with Blackberries at my old job, but experienced no thrill from it whatsoever. This Christmas, my father gave me an MP3 player. I have yet to register it or put anything on it. When I do, it will be MIC related audio and video files.

I once had a Walkman-like device ages past, but didn't like it, and cannot see the point or purpose of I-pods or MP3 players, blue tooths, etc.

I stopped playing video games after the Atari 2600 got obsolete, and while I have played a few games since on other people's computers, I could not get involved in these new games at all. I do not want to play a game where I am going on an adventure, or trying to collect a series of treasures, or vanquish a villain. I just want to blast stuff to smithereens...and without the "realistic 3-d graphics."

I hate the 3-D animation in modern live action movies.

And basically, I hate the fact that every new electronic toy and gadget that society sucks up and enjoys is something I cannot stand.

All these things depress me and make me NOT want to live. And so why would I want to make myself healtheir only to extend my life and deal with more of this crap?

Find something I DO like and aim for that, you might say, but society prohibits it. There are zero places a person can go these days where you can be out in the middle of nowhere and not have to worry about bills and everything else that comes with just staying alive.

The MIC project is a thrill, and I am doing it because there has been no job that I have ever sought or been employed in that I ever liked, and so I am doing what I like. Then of course there is Raven and Cub, so they is worth living for. Beyond that, there is nothing.

Perhaps your brother feels similarly.

Alternatively, perhaps he is much more comfotable with his mortality than you are with yours.

Then again, he could be in denial about his condition.

"His main hobby love of trains has had him actually be a fireman and engineer on the Heber Creeper in Utah, but with him allowing his health to get to where it's at now, I'm not sure what he could do for employment in that realm."

He may no longer be interested in that anyway. I have pursued careers in my main area of interests, but the other things that went with those jobs rendered null and void the enjoyment I got out of my favorite part of it. "In comparison to the parable of the talents, I see you've at least increased yours somewhat, I've increased mine somewhat (sometimes I feel like I've lost them at times) but my oldest brother hasn't really tried: if he doesn't very shortly do an about-face, he'll certainly have what he's got now taken away, and nobody to blame but himself. At least if you try, but don't succeed, you won't have the self-inflicted punching bag of your history and "If only I would have" hanging around your neck. It seems probable that at the rate you're going, you'll never be rich in financial terms (though perhaps you won't be poor financially for retirement, assuming your savings aren't eaten away by the inevitable rampant inflation that must happen after all these bailouts, and whatever other stupid things are enacted), but at least you'll have left a legacy worth remembering:"

I've beat the market. My retirement is secure. It's the present I am more worried about. As for a legacy worth remembering, ask yourself how many of the billions of people who have ever lived on this planet have left a legacy worth remembering? Of the US presidents, for example, most people could name Washington, Jefferson (maybe) Lincoln, Theodore Rooseveldt, lin Delano Rooseveldt, Harry Truman (maybe) Kennedy, Nixon, Reagan, and Obama. The most recent ones Kennedy, , Nixon, Ford, , Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, Bush II, and Obama, they will only remember because they might have been alive while those men were in office. But not too many folks under the age of 40 can name any more than these Presidents though almost all left remarkable histories behind them.

We can all name two great generals: MacArthur, and Eisenhower, but do you think anyone fifty years from now will know who Colin or General Schwartzkoff was?

We can name Einstein, but it's mostly science buffs who know who Enrico Fermi or Madam Currie was.

To drive the point home, I have displayed my artwwork in both Canada and the US, and my prints are hanging in Canada, the US, and Hungary. My art has appeared on art cards which have been sold to many people around the world. I have painted two album covers for Raven's albums. I have given TV interviews (yes, plural) and newspaper interviews (as has Raven - and Raven has done radio interviews, and her music videos aired on TV all over the world at one point), Raven and I both have written songs on two of her current albums, with ALL of her songs off of three recent albums playing on the radio (every single song - Hey! That's not bad) - and out podcasts are heard the world over, and we speak at autism conventions, and are a resource for some autism organizations seeking opinions and advice about autism, and there may be books co-authored by us coming out in the future, and there are other projects we have in the works which we cannot reveal yet.

If you read our blogs, you'll find out about some of the famous people we have come in contact with, and we cannot even put in our blogs some of the famous people whom we know personally.

People on the street in Raven's home town recognize us on sight, and she has more than once been stopped for an autograph in my presence. I have also given autographs.

But how likely do you think we will be remembered 100 years from now? Most people do not even in this day and age know what Asperger Syndrome is, but for those who do, I doubt all of them can give the full name of the man who Asperger Syndrome is named after.

Also, how many of US could tell anyone who Leo Kanner was?

Leaving a legacy is not important, and leaving a legacy is not a motivating factor in my endeavors. For me, it is doing things I enjoy and helping people in the meantime. But other people enjoy different things, and sometimes the enjoyment they receive is not from helping others, or not from a career, but from other things. You have no real way of knowing what it is that motivates your brother to do anything. His LACK of motivation may be what keeps him living.

"my brother will most likely just leave a house that's not paid off, and a bunch of collected stuff, and people will only be able to say: he went to work, he went home, he did some hobby stuff, he died, but nobody really remembers his name, because he never really tried."

There will be people who will say the same things about Raven and I, believe it or not, because they never really took the time to know us. Just like so many people have never taken the time to know your brother. There is much truth in the phrase "It's what's on the inside that counts."

I am sure there are plenty of people here who have fomulated in their minds what sort of people Raven and I are, and I assure you that those formulations would almost certainly be wrong. While we are very much the people others knows us for, all that stuff is only one part of our lives.

Many know that she has toured the world in two different bands under two different stage names. But did anyone know that Raven is an artist and a photographer in addition to being a musician? She has art hanging in the National Art Gallery in Ottawa. She has been a professor at a university, etc.

I have plenty of little secrets too, which I have never shared with anyone here.

But more to the point, Raven and I like to spend our time walking in the woods and along local trails around her house or (when she visits me) around mine. We sit up late at night from 10:00 to 3:00, she crocheting or knitting, me sewing patches on my jacket. We talk during these times about anything that comes to mind. We are very private people who paint by ourselves, go out to eat at local restaraunts by ourselves, shop at the local supermarket by ourselves, shop at resale video stores by ourselves, go to Walmart by ourselves, visit her local Native American reservation by ourselves, and visit the Provincial Parks by ourselves.

She took care of her ailing father before he died and I took care of my grandmother before she died. People who know us intimately, ask us for personal advice and confide in us.

In other words: We are very much ordinary people, but as you can see, ordinary people can do extraordinary things. She and I both have done some extraordinary things, and I think the most extraordinary things we have done are the kind that a person does not talk about publically, because it would be taken as bragging.

How do you know, for example, that your brother is not doing something like writing a soldier in Iraq or Afghanistan, and maybe something in a letter he wrote kept the soldier going for another back-breaking, nerve-shattering day? Or maybe he secretly volunteers at the local humane society, giving a bunch of cats some much needed attention. Or maybe he's got forums on the net where he helps others with problems. Maybe he donates to some charitable cause or other.

You have no way of knowing what his secret life is, and even if what he does is not meaningful to you, it could be meaningful to someone else.

"In effect: my brother will most likely be most notable for having not even tried to be notable or achieve anything greater than collecting a paycheck, not even going through all that's required to ensure he's raised children and taught them needful things (his romantic life, well, he's a hopeless romantic and fixated on only one woman that has effectively teased him for 25 years)."

Well, he could indeed be the man you describe, but even so, there are some people whose major triumph in life is merely to get through it. Please do not judge him too harshly. It's good that you obviously love him and care about his health...and as a caring brother, you SHOULD feel this way, but recognize that there is only so much you can do. Just enjoy him while he is here. Perhaps brotherly love between the two of you will be a factor which motivates him to take better care of himself.

"If you fail to try, you try to fail: that's the most likely legacy of my oldest brother :("

That is a catchy phrase, but sometimes people do try. We just do not recognize their efforts.

Administrator