Re: Changed my son's therapist-now having regrets

[Guest guest]

,

Ask for a different in home therapist. Obviously this one has his own agenda of

imposing his own beliefs on you and your family. We had a similar experience.

I was so nervous because I have worked in the mental health field and I was

afraid this therapist would give me a bad name around town because we had such

different values and ideas of parenting. I finally got the courage to tell him

that he wouldn't work for our son. I told him politely that he and I had

different angles of parenting, that our value systems seem very different and I

thought it would be confusing for my son. He agreed and we found someone else.

Go with your gut. It's usually right.

Blessings,

Becky

[Guest guest]

, are you sure he's not going to continue seeing the " old " therapist for

outpatient? Many times kids get in-home services and still continue outpatient.

You might wait and see how the 2nd visit goes with the in-home. And if not

liking what you see, ask to speak with him a few minutes before he leaves, what

the service plan is (are they person-centered plans?), what worker's experience

& knowledge is with anxiety, OCD, PDD, sensory issues.... Tell him your son

needs someone with training in these areas. And if for some reason the other

outpatient therapist can't continue along with in-home, talk to the old

therapist about your concerns.

Quick thoughts.

>

> My 6yr old oCD, anxiety , sensory integration disorder and possible PDD-NOS

son has been escalating since school started with meltdowns. Monday it got to

the point that I HAD to take him to community mental health for an eval-he was

aggressive almost since he walked inthe door and after an hour it wasn't

stopping. I took this kid in sock feet ( couldn't get shoes on him) in the cold

to

[Guest guest]

That's why I had a hard time choosing this-he can't do both ( I just love

community mental health). Today,this morning, he was hitting and kicking me and

screaming. I have no idea what he will be like this afternoon. I called this

guy, left a message, he hasn't gotten back to me. I thought in home was more

intensive. Sigh.

> >

> > My 6yr old oCD, anxiety , sensory integration disorder and possible PDD-NOS

son has been escalating since school started with meltdowns. Monday it got to

the point that I HAD to take him to community mental health for an eval-he was

aggressive almost since he walked inthe door and after an hour it wasn't

stopping. I took this kid in sock feet ( couldn't get shoes on him) in the cold

to

>

[Guest guest]

We have had the money to pay for experts but our child too have a

developmental disorder and she is not open to therapy.

What works for us is a positive behvior plan. The rewards

can't be big, the punishments need to be very small, and

the day has to be very structured and you have to start

step at a time on a few behaviors to shape.

This is what the behavior plan should have:

1. A very structured day. This means a set time for breakfast,

dressing, leaving for school, a set play time, dinner and bedtime.

2. Positive praise and stickers for all positive behaviors

(about 10 a day). For following routine calmly and for

talking nicely to you in the am, mid day and evening.

Stickers are cashed in daily for TV time, snacks, small change (if you buy

him things) and play time with you (30 minutes).

3. Very small punishments. If he earns 2 hours of TV he is going to lose 30

minutes for hitting you. But punishments need to be kept small so not to

escalate behaviors.

4. Parents do not yell, hit or lecture. Just a oops you don't get

a sticker for hitting me. And then leave the room.

5. Reduce stimulation, homework, TV if he is very stressed.

Give him lots of time to relax in the evening.

6. Have him earn 30 minutes a day of play time with you.

Remind him to stay on track that he is earning these small

rewards.

This worked for us, but I have a behaviorist helping me

along the way.

Ask for someone in your center that can help you work

out a behavior modification plan. Have them write it down

for you and work on reviewing with them what is working

and what is not.

Good luck, this has helped us greatly. I hope it is

of some us to you.

Pam

>

> My 6yr old oCD, anxiety , sensory integration disorder and possible PDD-NOS

son has been escalating since school started with meltdowns. Monday it got to

the point that I HAD to take him to community mental health for an eval-he was

aggressive almost since he walked inthe door and after an hour it wasn't

stopping. I took this kid in sock feet ( couldn't get shoes on him) in the cold

to this place. When we started to go down the road he was opening the car door

and I had to keep my finger on my lock button and finally threatened to call the

police. We went and he saw someone who basically just asked his history and what

had been happening then decided home based therapy might be better. By this

point I was willing to try anything. It was through the same agency but had to

be a different therapist as some only do home based.

>

> Well wed was his regular appt his his outpatient therapist. He then briefly

met the guy who would be coming over. No time to trasition out of seeing one to

the other.

> When I was talking to the new therapist I mentioned that I too had anxiety

(controlled) and he asked if I needed a therapist as he did therapy privately as

well for $40- $80 a session (why would I be bring my son so CMH if I had

money?). I thought this was inappropriate but let it go.

>

> Friday evening he came over. My son was highly anxious. He went through the

standard forms with me and they ask about sprituality (never an issue but they

want to know what the family believes). I told him I wasn't a church person and

he seemed to want to talk about this (inappropriate again I feel). Then he asked

my son if I would be acting differently if he ( the therapist) wasn't there.

Umm, don't we all act diffrent alone? Of course! But I wouldn't be beating my

child. DOn't know where he was going with that.

> Then I told him I was trying to practice mindfulness in my parenting and he

asked me where I had learned about that and I started to tell him about this

wonderful book " Buddhism for Mothers " that has made me waaay more calm with my

son and helped me in so many ways. But I couldn't. He didn't seem to want to

hear anything about it once he heard the buddhism title (it's for all faiths

anyway). Also without having met me or my son really he said meds aren't alway

the way to go and behavior modification is better most times-yeah, well, it took

me over a year to even start him on a med-not like I just jumped on it.

>

> So my son is really, really grieving about his old therapist, I have this guy

that I am not at all sure about and just feel like I made a huge mistake. I

don't want to keep yanking my son around to different people as that isn't good

either. I sure don't need someone tearing down what little confidence i have as

a parent though.

>

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