Guest guest Posted September 11, 2009 Report Share Posted September 11, 2009 Hi, is she getting therapy? It's good she's improved so much. Seems like this new fear popped up, as happens with OCD. Ugh, logic doesn't work with OCD. I wonder if bio mom will work with you and your dd and you can schedule phone conversations, sort of an exposure for her; with her knowing it's an exposure to work on her OCD fear/feeling. Maybe begin with once a week, could keep them brief, even 3 or 4 minutes. So sorry she's avoiding you. Keep us updated! > > My 12 year old with OCD since December 2008..has gone thru many rituals and problems with ocd, not able to dress, walk , write and many other things. Making it thru the 6th grade..I have shared custody and she has spent most of her time with me during school years. Well I think after much pressure from bio mom ..she wanted to change schools froma private to a public .She is about 1 and half hours away from. She refuses to come for her weekend visits, says she not ready ...cannot get a telephone conversation ..tho she did call me one day and said she was lonesome. so I drove to see her ,had a nice dinner ,,she has made great improvements,,new friends , new interests , but the big problem now her mom tells me ..she thinks i will die and is trying to detach herself from me..!!!That is why I cannot connect with her,,it seems like the drs are moving slow and meantime I feel like I have lost my daughter.Do not know what to do about it. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2009 Report Share Posted September 11, 2009 > > > > My 12 year old with OCD since December 2008..has gone thru many rituals and problems with ocd, not able to dress, walk , write and many other things. Making it thru the 6th grade..I have shared custody and she has spent most of her time with me during school years. Well I think after much pressure from bio mom ..she wanted to change schools froma private to a public .She is about 1 and half hours away from. She refuses to come for her weekend visits, says she not ready ...cannot get a telephone conversation ..tho she did call me one day and said she was lonesome. so I drove to see her ,had a nice dinner ,,she has made great improvements,,new friends , new interests , but the big problem now her mom tells me ..she thinks i will die and is trying to detach herself from me..!!!That is why I cannot connect with her,,it seems like the drs are moving slow and meantime I feel like I have lost my daughter.Do not know what to do about it. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2009 Report Share Posted September 11, 2009 Hi there, has given you a good suggestion with the phone appointment. When our son could not live at home I would try to keep contact by phone. We would try to have him come home for dinner and he would last about ten minutes and have to leave. It would break my heart, and I felt like I had lost my son, as you describe. With ours, at times I was seen as a cause or trigger to the OCD, so he did not want contact for that reason. Often the person they are closest with is the one they have the most OCD issues with, which just sucks. I had to learn to not take this personally, it was the disorder. Know that you have not lost your daughter, she is just in the grips of the OCD. I would make every effort to maintain contact, and fight against the OCD, don't let it win this one! As says, if you can explain it as an exposure. If it is a fear of you dying you would think she would want contact to make sure you were still alive, don't really understand the logic in the detaching, not that there is any logic to OCD! Can you discuss this with her at all? Keep the lines open, and if she can't come to you, you can go to her. Remember it is not personal, and try to be neutral about it, hard as that might be. Warmly, Barb > > > > My 12 year old with OCD since December 2008..has gone thru many rituals and problems with ocd, not able to dress, walk , write and many other things. Making it thru the 6th grade..I have shared custody and she has spent most of her time with me during school years. Well I think after much pressure from bio mom ..she wanted to change schools froma private to a public .She is about 1 and half hours away from. She refuses to come for her weekend visits, says she not ready ...cannot get a telephone conversation ..tho she did call me one day and said she was lonesome. so I drove to see her ,had a nice dinner ,,she has made great improvements,,new friends , new interests , but the big problem now her mom tells me ..she thinks i will die and is trying to detach herself from me..!!!That is why I cannot connect with her,,it seems like the drs are moving slow and meantime I feel like I have lost my daughter.Do not know what to do about it. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2009 Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 Phone or sometimes even better scype ( if you have video for your computer. If not, you can get them for abouot $30)! That way she can see you too. We just did the scype therapy and I think the visual connection is helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2009 Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 > > Hi there, > > has given you a good suggestion with the phone appointment. When our son could not live at home I would try to keep contact by phone. We would try to have him come home for dinner and he would last about ten minutes and have to leave. It would break my heart, and I felt like I had lost my son, as you describe. > > With ours, at times I was seen as a cause or trigger to the OCD, so he did not want contact for that reason. Often the person they are closest with is the one they have the most OCD issues with, which just sucks. I had to learn to not take this personally, it was the disorder. > > Know that you have not lost your daughter, she is just in the grips of the OCD. I would make every effort to maintain contact, and fight against the OCD, don't let it win this one! As says, if you can explain it as an exposure. > > If it is a fear of you dying you would think she would want contact to make sure you were still alive, don't really understand the logic in the detaching, not that there is any logic to OCD! Can you discuss this with her at all? > > Keep the lines open, and if she can't come to you, you can go to her. Remember it is not personal, and try to be neutral about it, hard as that might be. > > Warmly, > Barb > > thank u Barb for the words..it is os hard she has been daddy's girl since born..there was nothing we did do together,,then all has changed ..it is like she is not the same person..just so detached emontionaly..really hope in time I can get her back !! > > > > > > My 12 year old with OCD since December 2008..has gone thru many rituals and problems with ocd, not able to dress, walk , write and many other things. Making it thru the 6th grade..I have shared custody and she has spent most of her time with me during school years. Well I think after much pressure from bio mom ..she wanted to change schools froma private to a public .She is about 1 and half hours away from. She refuses to come for her weekend visits, says she not ready ..cannot get a telephone conversation ..tho she did call me one day and said she was lonesome. so I drove to see her ,had a nice dinner ,,she has made great improvements,,new friends , new interests , but the big problem now her mom tells me ..she thinks i will die and is trying to detach herself from me..!!!That is why I cannot connect with her,,it seems like the drs are moving slow and meantime I feel like I have lost my daughter.Do not know what to do about it. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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