New to OCD Parenting

[Guest guest]

There are so many questions, I don't really know where to begin.  My daughter is

9, has ADHD with impulsivity being the strongest problem, she has anxiety and we

have questioned OCD for a couple of years now.  After this summer, there is no

doubt in my mind that she is fully OCD.  She is on meds for ADHD and anxiety. 

We started CBT a week ago with a therapist, but as you all know it is very hard

for her to want to participate because it is scary, she doesn't see how it will

help and it " makes 'it' stronger " when we talk about it. 

My biggest concern at this time is her need for reassurance and total

explanations for everything.  Unfortunately, nothing we say is good enough and

it has to be explained over and over and over or we tell her the conversation is

over and she will not let it rest.  There is never a good ending to this because

she begins to cry, tells us she does not want to live this way, doesn't

understand why she has to be this way, why we don't understand and on and on. 

The crying usually lasts for 45 minutes to an hour.  I read recently that this

need for reassurance is just part of the OCD.  Therefore, we are stuck in a

position of trying to set normal boundaries for her as a child vs helping her to

understand vs getting or not getting caught up on the routine with her.  I am

overwhelmed with grief for her. 

She also has had a very hard time making and keeping friends because they think

she is different.  She has recently made one friend and has visited at their

house.  At what point do I let the parents know about her condition so they will

not go down the same road of thinking she is different and not good for their

child. Any help on these two issues would be greatly appreciated.