Re: Kids at school

August 30, 2009

Hi, .? My girls were diagnosed at the ages of seven and eleven.? The younger

was diagnosed first and then two years later, the older one was.? When the first

one was diagnosed, I was so relieved to know what was wrong with her.? I finally

knew what to look up?and what kinds of books to buy.? When my second was

diagnosed, I was also diagnosed.? I really feel like I mourned both kids at that

time.? I was so sad that ALL of my kids had OCD and I realized that neither of

them would have " normal " lives.? It took me several months to snap back.? Now,

they are sixteen and eighteen.? They have other issues:? sixteen year old also

has Asperger's and the older one has narcolepsy.? They have their ups and downs

but their OCD is better.? We have learned to work with it.? I used to not be

able to touch my oldest but I can now.? Many of the issues they had at onset are

gone and others are faded.? It will get better and you will find your child

under it all once again.? Hang in there.? Kelley in NV

Kids at school

Hi,

My name is and I have a 16 year old son with ocd. He is starting 10th

grade, we have a 504 set up for him at his school and are looking into special

education. Last year he started out with all A's then by the end of the school

year he could not function. We had to break his day into hours--encouraging him

to do what he could. He is smart, yet the stress of ocd takes over and homework

is impossible. P.E.- he has one more semester- I don't know if he'll make it. If

anyone touches his P.E. clothes I have to buy new ones ($30.). I have seen him

walk the halls and try to avoid the other students touching him, he won't touch

the door handles, other people pencils etc. When he comes home he is so stressed

out that he will sleep from 4:30 until 9 or 10 the get up shower ( which is a

big deal ) and then try to get to sleep later.

Has anyone else felt like they have grieved the loss of their child because ocd

has changed things so much for that child? I look and say what happened, where

did he go, I miss you sweetie and mom has your back with an air hug. I look

forward to hearing others.

August 31, 2009

Hi ,

My son is 18, diagnosed at 15, with seeming sudden onset that took his life away

overnight. He started highschool, and made it two months, when he simply could

not cope anymore and had to stop. He has LD and school was a challenge before

OCD, so eventually it became pointless, he could do nothing. I despaired

wondering how our child would ever have a life if he had no education.

Around the clock obsessions and rituals, with maybe ten minutes in between, up

until 2 and 3 in the morning saying rituals. I felt as you describe, that I had

lost my child. He could not function. Many days he could not leave the house at

all.

We also went through challenges with medication, hospitalizations, and had major

behavior challenges, and even had to have our son live outside our home for

three months. I can tell you that by that point I felt completely without hope

and had reached a point of acceptance that I was powerless to change any of it.

Except, I believed in my son. I knew with every fibre of my being that he was

more than what I saw, and that deep in there he wanted to escape out from under

the clutches of the OCD, the " effects " of the medications, and whatever else was

going on.

For us, the teen part, and maturity was a big part of what kept our son stuck,

as well as medication challenges. But once stability was reached with

medication, and when our son decided he wanted his life back, he took on the ERP

full force and worked hard at learning how to manage the OCD. He has been in

recovery for just over a year now, and I can truly say we have our son back.

So know that no matter how bleak it might seem that this is possible. It is

different for each person, the degree of severity of the OCD, response to

medication or not, ages and stages, as well as any other comorbid conditions,

all factor in to their ability to fight the OCD. So I cannot say that everyone

gets better and leads a " normal " life, statistics and people I am in contact

with tell me otherwise.

I can say get the best treatment you can find - ERP based CBT, and medication if

needed. With time your son CAN learn how to manage the OCD, and get his life

back. Again, it just might take some time.

I think that living with a child with OCD is to grieve a little every day. For

the loss of " normal " , for the loss of who they were, or who you thought they

would become. You have to let go of all that to make room for who they are now,

and embrace that, with all that comes with it, and it gets easier to do. But

harder too, everytime you hear about one of their peers passing a milestone that

yours does not, and may never...

But then you wake up one day, and don't care as much about all that, and can

just take it as it comes, because you are living a new " normal " . One that

celebrates when your son CAN have his P.E. clothes touched and not have them

replaced, or that he can actually go to school, and even do homework or maybe

not, and especially when he can have a real hug, not just an air hug!

You are not alone in your feelings, I can assure you. I have walked, and talked

and ate and slept grief, over what felt like the loss of our child. This site

sustained me through some very dark hours. Now I can say we came out the other

side, and you and your son can too.

Many hugs to you!

Barb

-- In , " " wrote:

>

> Hi,

>

> My name is and I have a 16 year old son with ocd. He is starting 10th