Guest guest Posted August 30, 2009 Report Share Posted August 30, 2009 Looking back our 9yo dd has always had some quirks, but a few months ago things increased in intensity. Our dog had to be put down, and we got new furniture. The loss combined with a major change seems to have triggered OCD. She increased her desire to keep things (used to be mostly craft supplies) and now wants to save bites of her dinner, trash, and even hasn't been able to give her pets their food because it would be gone. She struggles with decisions (what to wear, what to eat, whether to do an activity or not...) And is now ritualizing tasks (can't eat breakfast before getting dressed...) and making things even (get kisses on left cheek, must have one on right) and gets horribly upset if this doesn't happen. No specific fears seems to be tied into these behaviors, just the sense that it has to be this way to be right. She saw a therapist (first visit 2 weeks ago) and on the second visit (last week) was taught a self hypnosis technique to help relax, and to visualize what to do (worked specifically on choosing clothes). It helped for a few days, but she has been refusing to do it. We're in the process of finding another one because this one doesn't do ERP. In the past she has had lots of leeway on decisions, she usually chose what to eat for b-fast and lunch, what to wear, determined to a large extent what time to turn the lights off and go to sleep.... It worked fine, until a few months ago. We have tried to discuss with her that her decision making skills are stuck now and we need to help her decide what to eat and wear, but she explodes and gets anxious. If we do put out food she generally refuses to eat it, (the low blood sugar doesn't help with being rational) and will tear off any clothes we manage to get on her. After trantruming for a while she will usually calm down enough to comply, and is sorry for her behavior but can't seem to stop it when it is happening. We need some tips on what to do. Hubby favors telling her to do something and walking away until it is done (not horribly effective), but telling her to do something and staying with her while she cries saying she needs help doesn't seem to work well either and is taking longer and longer (hold and rock her while talking calmly to her, she calms and we discuss that task at hand, she explodes again and we repeat with me taking breaks away to keep sane - can last over an hour). Either way it is taking longer and longer for her to get through a task. We're scheduled to go on vacation tomorrow and we're terrified that it will be 2 weeks of trauma. Any suggestions on how to help her get through the days so she can enjoy vacation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 30, 2009 Report Share Posted August 30, 2009 My daughter's OCD came up while on vacation. It was very difficult to deal with while visiting friends because she was supposed to be upstairs having fun with the other kids and instead she was lying in bed with me, up until 2-3 in the morning, worrying about toxins. For us, evenings are the worst. We've tried melatonin, visualization, and relaxation exercises without really finding a solution. Eventually she just collapses and falls asleep around 11 p.m. (at home). But back to your question. My daughter does very well when distracted. So actually doing fun things during the day was good for her. We just made sure we had a sufficient--but not too much--number of really fun things going on. Interestingly enough, while we were in the mountains, she did an alpine sled and some bungee jumping and a zip line. I am scared of heights and could do none of these things. So it actually did wonders for her self-confidence that we could point to all this courage and these great accomplishments. She's 11, but we still made a big deal of them and she seemed really pleased with herself. I hope that helps. > > > Looking back our 9yo dd has always had some quirks, but a few months ago > things increased in intensity. Our dog had to be put down, and we got new > furniture. The loss combined with a major change seems to have triggered > OCD. > > She increased her desire to keep things (used to be mostly craft supplies) > and now wants to save bites of her dinner, trash, and even hasn't been able > to give her pets their food because it would be gone. > > She struggles with decisions (what to wear, what to eat, whether to do an > activity or not...) > > And is now ritualizing tasks (can't eat breakfast before getting > dressed...) and making things even (get kisses on left cheek, must have one > on right) and gets horribly upset if this doesn't happen. > > No specific fears seems to be tied into these behaviors, just the sense > that it has to be this way to be right. > > She saw a therapist (first visit 2 weeks ago) and on the second visit (last > week) was taught a self hypnosis technique to help relax, and to visualize > what to do (worked specifically on choosing clothes). It helped for a few > days, but she has been refusing to do it. We're in the process of finding > another one because this one doesn't do ERP. > > In the past she has had lots of leeway on decisions, she usually chose what > to eat for b-fast and lunch, what to wear, determined to a large extent what > time to turn the lights off and go to sleep.... It worked fine, until a few > months ago. We have tried to discuss with her that her decision making > skills are stuck now and we need to help her decide what to eat and wear, > but she explodes and gets anxious. If we do put out food she generally > refuses to eat it, (the low blood sugar doesn't help with being rational) > and will tear off any clothes we manage to get on her. After trantruming for > a while she will usually calm down enough to comply, and is sorry for her > behavior but can't seem to stop it when it is happening. > > We need some tips on what to do. Hubby favors telling her to do something > and walking away until it is done (not horribly effective), but telling her > to do something and staying with her while she cries saying she needs help > doesn't seem to work well either and is taking longer and longer (hold and > rock her while talking calmly to her, she calms and we discuss that task at > hand, she explodes again and we repeat with me taking breaks away to keep > sane - can last over an hour). Either way it is taking longer and longer for > her to get through a task. > > We're scheduled to go on vacation tomorrow and we're terrified that it will > be 2 weeks of trauma. Any suggestions on how to help her get through the > days so she can enjoy vacation? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 30, 2009 Report Share Posted August 30, 2009 Thanks . It was great to hear that in your experience doing things can distract and help. I empathize on your fear of heights. I don't like climbing up 3 rungs on a ladder! But kudos to your dd for trying those activities. Today was actually a very good day. She had only 2 explosions, and they were fairly short. There were a few other brain locks, but we made it though fairly calmly and quickly. I think all our talking about fighting OCD (she calls it HiccupFart) helped today. As did opening up the Club Penguin DS game we bought for vacation. She got to play it as she got ready. :-) Whatever works at this point! But back to your question. My daughter does very well when distracted. So actually doing fun things during the day was good for her. We just made sure we had a sufficient-- but not too much--number of really fun things going on. Interestingly enough, while we were in the mountains, she did an alpine sled and some bungee jumping and a zip line. I am scared of heights and could do none of these things. So it actually did wonders for her self-confidence that we could point to all this courage and these great accomplishments. She's 11, but we still made a big deal of them and she seemed really pleased with herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2009 Report Share Posted August 31, 2009 Hi , My DD also needs things to be just right. I had to learn how hard it was for her to transition and it was a shock for me to know that even a transition to a fun activity created anxiety. So perhaps the vacation itself is a big trigger. Two things that helped my DD was telling her ahead of time exactly what we were going to do and then not changing the plan at the last minute which I tended to do. Second, my DD can calm herself by turning on the t.v. as soon as she gets home (especially from school) for 30 minutes before I even talk to her. (She can and does initiate conversation when she's ready but I hold my tongue for the 30 minutes.) That's hard too because I think she's fine since she's asking me for things (snacks) but it's only when she turns off the t.v. early that I know she's over that particular transition. Like you, it didn't help for me to " insist " on her doing something and walking away added fuel to the fire. It took 9 months before transitions became aggression free 99% of the time. So, for us, knowing the triggers and giving her space helped tremendously after medications did their part to stabilize her. Dorelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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