Re: Could this be an OCD thing?

[Guest guest]

Her thinking is very ridgid. Because she was late she couldn't

go into class. My daughter is like this about a lot of things.

If she misses part of a a TV show or movie she says she can't

watch it.

There is no reasoning with our daughter. How about yours?

And our daughter is in such denial she won't participate in therapy.

What works for us are behavioral methods.

I don't try to reason with her very much. If my daugher said she

couldn't go into class because she was late I would say, you know the

consequences of missing school ...you don't get all your computer/TV time then.

I don't try to reason with her. Our daughter was

constantly blaming me or her father, I noticed this went way down

when I stopped reasoning and pleading.

For the start of school we have a behavioral plan that she

must get to school on time to get her TV and computer time.

She can't complain or hang on me when she gets out of the car.

But ...a big BUT she only has to stay a few hours she can call

me after 10am to come home. She know she has to improve this

progressively.

good luck,

Pam

ahoogroups.com, " texmom56 " wrote:

>

> My dd, age 16 is still having trouble getting to school on time. Friday she

was two minutes late, her dad took her and they got into some traffic which held

them up. She had gotten up late so was cutting it pretty close. I could tell

she was really anxious when they left. She texted me after he had dropped her

off, just furious about being late. She was sitting in the bathroom skipping

class because she just couldn't/wouldn't walk in to class late. Argh.

>

> Okay, obviously she needs to move up her time by about 10-15 minutes, but she

keeps making this like the lateness is our fault because we don't drive fast

enough or something. My husband and I refuse to drive unsafely in order to

shave off the two minutes of a 20 minute drive. Its almost irrational She just

won't see logic in any of this and says she is trying her best to get ready in a

timely manner and gets very defensive when I gently suggest she just needs to

allow herself another 10 minutes. I know this time issue is leftover sensory

stuff from when she was younger. She just has a poor sense of time passing, but

is going to have to compensate by allowing extra time. For some reason she just

can't see this.

>

> Could this fear of being late be an anxiety or OCD thing? I think I mentioned

before that she is reducing her meds (100mg of Zoloft down to 75mg)

>

> Any suggestions would be helpful. We have dealt with varying degrees of this

her whole school career. It causes so much stress every morning. She is

supposed to start driving to school after this week, but there is NO WAY while

she is this anxious. If she can't leave early, she can't drive it. End of

story.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent ... yet AGAIN

>

> Tina

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam,

Yes, she does get rigid and black/white about some things. Its strange. I

think part of it is just anxiety about coming in late. She got made fun of last

year cause it happened so much.

The consequence for her is, if she can't get to school on time, she won't be

allowed to drive the car there. I can't have her rushing and anxious, its

dangerous!

Hopefully things will improve monday. Its a new week, and the beginning of

school is always a bit iffy. Thanks so much for your input ... at least I know

I'm not nuts!

BTW, our dd is usually okay once she is at school.

Tina

> >

> > My dd, age 16 is still having trouble getting to school on time. Friday she

was two minutes late, her dad took her and they got into some traffic which held

them up. She had gotten up late so was cutting it pretty close. I could tell

she was really anxious when they left. She texted me after he had dropped her

off, just furious about being late. She was sitting in the bathroom skipping

class because she just couldn't/wouldn't walk in to class late. Argh.

> >

> > Okay, obviously she needs to move up her time by about 10-15 minutes, but

she keeps making this like the lateness is our fault because we don't drive fast

enough or something. My husband and I refuse to drive unsafely in order to

shave off the two minutes of a 20 minute drive. Its almost irrational She just

won't see logic in any of this and says she is trying her best to get ready in a

timely manner and gets very defensive when I gently suggest she just needs to

allow herself another 10 minutes. I know this time issue is leftover sensory

stuff from when she was younger. She just has a poor sense of time passing, but

is going to have to compensate by allowing extra time. For some reason she just

can't see this.

> >

> > Could this fear of being late be an anxiety or OCD thing? I think I

mentioned before that she is reducing her meds (100mg of Zoloft down to 75mg)

> >

> > Any suggestions would be helpful. We have dealt with varying degrees of

this her whole school career. It causes so much stress every morning. She is

supposed to start driving to school after this week, but there is NO WAY while

she is this anxious. If she can't leave early, she can't drive it. End of

story.

> >

> > Thanks for letting me vent ... yet AGAIN

> >

> > Tina

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I hope things settle down for your daughter. I am glad to hear

she is well once she is there. So the issue is how to shape her behavior to get

to school on time. You could have her get

her clothes picked out the night before. And have her book bag

in the car ready to go. These techniques help with my daughter's

extreme disorganization. But for us and maybe for you the morning

issues are mostly severe anticipatory anxiety and sometimes

a panic attack. No reward or consequence will reduce her panic

once it is triggered.

If our daughter's panic returns I will have to try to

convince the psychiatrist she needs a Xanax type

medication to take the edge off. Our daughter started on zoloft

this summer but I am not sure it will treat the morning panic she often feels

about school. Our daughter has way too many tardies

and absences for us to keep treating only with behavioral techniques.

I know my husband needs Xanax with the zoloft to reduce his panic

attacks.

> > >

> > > My dd, age 16 is still having trouble getting to school on time. Friday

she was two minutes late, her dad took her and they got into some traffic which

held them up. She had gotten up late so was cutting it pretty close. I could

tell she was really anxious when they left. She texted me after he had dropped

her off, just furious about being late. She was sitting in the bathroom

skipping class because she just couldn't/wouldn't walk in to class late. Argh.

> > >

> > > Okay, obviously she needs to move up her time by about 10-15 minutes, but

she keeps making this like the lateness is our fault because we don't drive fast

enough or something. My husband and I refuse to drive unsafely in order to

shave off the two minutes of a 20 minute drive. Its almost irrational She just

won't see logic in any of this and says she is trying her best to get ready in a

timely manner and gets very defensive when I gently suggest she just needs to

allow herself another 10 minutes. I know this time issue is leftover sensory

stuff from when she was younger. She just has a poor sense of time passing, but

is going to have to compensate by allowing extra time. For some reason she just

can't see this.

> > >

> > > Could this fear of being late be an anxiety or OCD thing? I think I

mentioned before that she is reducing her meds (100mg of Zoloft down to 75mg)

> > >

> > > Any suggestions would be helpful. We have dealt with varying degrees of

this her whole school career. It causes so much stress every morning. She is

supposed to start driving to school after this week, but there is NO WAY while

she is this anxious. If she can't leave early, she can't drive it. End of

story.

> > >

> > > Thanks for letting me vent ... yet AGAIN

> > >

> > > Tina

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Pam,

We have done the thing with picking out the clothes the night before and having

all her stuff in the car. I have done that for years, but she is almost 17 now

and " mom in her business " just seems to add to the stress! I wish I COULD just

do all this, and I did some when she was younger but can't anymore! That is

part of our problem now, is letting her " take over " and sometimes she is able,

and sometimes she isn't.

As to the anticipatory anxiety ... you hit the nail on the head. When our dd

was on her full dose of zoloft, that dropped considerably. But this week I saw

it return with the " anticipation " of lateness. (There was also that issue of

having to read aloud in a class which was bothering her, but we were able to get

the class switched, thank goodness). But you are right ... once that anxiety is

triggered, forget it! Like this week, when she refused to go in, once she was

late. She had full blown crying in the car for an hour, and I had to just take

her home. There was no way she was gonna calm down enough to go in. I've had

to do this a few times over the years, but not in the last few months. It was

sad, as it felt like such a step backward for the poor kid!

As to xanax, our psychaitrist gave her a scrip for the Niravam (dissolvable

xanax). She has used it on occasion before speaking in class or before a swim

meet, and it does help, but we haven't used it much lately. To be honest, I

don't want to " kick the beehive " with anything that could be habit forming with

her issues with " substances " . I just don't know what could happen there. So I

have it in a safe place and dispense when needed. She hasn't asked for it in

months, though.

You might try it if the mroning anxiety is overwhelming, or if there is a

specific thing your daughter is nervous about that she could " get through " if

she knew she wouldn't go into full blown panic mode.

By the way, how old is your daughter?

Tina

> > > >

> > > > My dd, age 16 is still having trouble getting to school on time. Friday

she was two minutes late, her dad took her and they got into some traffic which

held them up. She had gotten up late so was cutting it pretty close. I could

tell she was really anxious when they left. She texted me after he had dropped

her off, just furious about being late. She was sitting in the bathroom

skipping class because she just couldn't/wouldn't walk in to class late. Argh.

> > > >

> > > > Okay, obviously she needs to move up her time by about 10-15 minutes,

but she keeps making this like the lateness is our fault because we don't drive

fast enough or something. My husband and I refuse to drive unsafely in order

to shave off the two minutes of a 20 minute drive. Its almost irrational She

just won't see logic in any of this and says she is trying her best to get ready

in a timely manner and gets very defensive when I gently suggest she just needs

to allow herself another 10 minutes. I know this time issue is leftover sensory

stuff from when she was younger. She just has a poor sense of time passing, but

is going to have to compensate by allowing extra time. For some reason she just

can't see this.

> > > >

> > > > Could this fear of being late be an anxiety or OCD thing? I think I

mentioned before that she is reducing her meds (100mg of Zoloft down to 75mg)

> > > >

> > > > Any suggestions would be helpful. We have dealt with varying degrees of

this her whole school career. It causes so much stress every morning. She is

supposed to start driving to school after this week, but there is NO WAY while

she is this anxious. If she can't leave early, she can't drive it. End of

story.

> > > >

> > > > Thanks for letting me vent ... yet AGAIN

> > > >

> > > > Tina

> > > >

> > >

> >

>