Re: Need help-school related questions

[Guest guest]

Sounds like your little guy is very stressed out.? It could be that he is

expending a ton of self-control on keeping himself under control and then can't

hold it together any longer once he gets home.? You can't even leave a voice

mail for the doctor?? I just don't understand the doctors who can't/won't be

there for their patients inbetween appointments!? I call our doctor all the time

and leave messages.? She always returns the message the same day.? Does your son

know he has OCD?? If he does, I would sit down with him and tell him that school

seems to be stressing him out and that because of it, his OCD is making him act

up.? It might open the door for him to talk to you about what is going on with

him.? Both of my kids always felt relieved once they found out why they felt

angry or upset--knowing let them understand that they weren't crazy.? It is

probably very upsetting to him to feel this way.? Reward charts also worked

really well for my youngest.? She would go through stages where her behavior was

awful and we would give her stickers for good behavior.? When she was very

young, we made sure she got frequent, inexpensive prizes.? I don't know if any

of this will help you--what you really need is to be able to talk to the doctor

and go from there.? On a positive note, my kids are sixteen and eighteen and

have happily attended school for years now.? It will get better.? Kelley in NV

Need help-school related questions

This will probably be long. My 6 yr old son started 1st grade 2 weeks ago.

Everything went great the 1st week-too great I guess. Since wednesday this week,

he has been defiant, throwing things for no reason, hitting, thowing things out

of the back window while I am driving (including toys), verbally obnoxious,

potty talk, you name it. The big blowouts are back. I am ready to pull him out

of school though I have no idea what I would do with him. He is on .25 risperdal

and 50mg Zoloft in the AM and 2.5 mg melatonin PM. I haven't talked to his

therapist about the behavior as he started after seeing her and she is not

available in between apts.I cannot personaly talk to the doc and he is not

scheduled till the 14 of october. I just lost it with him today before work-he

is abrasive from the time he gets up-either acting like he is three (potty talk,

etc) or just mean. I have asked him how things are at school ,etc with no real

good answers. he will say he had a bad day but that's it. His OCD has gotten

worse too. He kept telling me to shut up and hit me this morning and I just got

fed up. Then he tried to tell me he loves me and wanted me to go get him a toy

car before work and I told him no, due to his behavior. He cried and I felt bad

because I don't know if this behavior is something he can control or not or what

I should do. Do I just wait it out and try not to lose my mind? Last night when

he was good and tired he said he " missed our summers " and I told him I missed

them too-nothing like hearing that to break your heart. I just don't know what

to do, am tired of geting angry with him. I want to be empathetic but it is hard

while he is hitting or throwing or saying awful things. Do i attempt to

homeschool him( I don't even think that's an option) take him out of

school-what? Of course the school says he is doing great. Ugh.

[Guest guest]

Oh he knows he has OCD. Thursday while compulsively picking all the stickers

off his bike he said " I know OCD it telling me to do this and I don't care " .

That's the problem here-he just doesn't care about consequences for his actions.

Then when they happen he acts like you have hurt him on purpose. And he can be

so literal. His friend told him his other friend was blind-and I swear the kid

kept telling me his friend was now blind-believing it no matter how I tried to

reason with him. I just don't get it. He has to go through community mental

health and they are really, really bad so we just get what we get.And no help

from the school because " they don't see the behaviors at school " .

>

> Sounds like your little guy is very stressed out.? It could be that he is

expending a ton of self-control on keeping himself under control and then can't

hold it together any longer once he gets home.? You can't even leave a voice

mail for the doctor?? I just don't understand the doctors who can't/won't be

there for their patients inbetween appointments!? I call our doctor all the time

and leave messages.? She always returns the message the same day.? Does your son

know he has OCD?? If he does, I would sit down with him and tell him that school

seems to be stressing him out and that because of it, his OCD is making him act

up.? It might open the door for him to talk to you about what is going on with

him.? Both of my kids always felt relieved once they found out why they felt

angry or upset--knowing let them understand that they weren't crazy.? It is

probably very upsetting to him to feel this way.? Reward charts also worked

really well for my youngest.? She would go through stages where her behavior was

awful and we would give her stickers for good behavior.? When she was very

young, we made sure she got frequent, inexpensive prizes.? I don't know if any

of this will help you--what you really need is to be able to talk to the doctor

and go from there.? On a positive note, my kids are sixteen and eighteen and

have happily attended school for years now.? It will get better.? Kelley in NV

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> Need help-school related questions

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> This will probably be long. My 6 yr old son started 1st grade 2 weeks ago.

Everything went great the 1st week-too great I guess. Since wednesday this week,

he has been defiant, throwing things for no reason, hitting, thowing things out

of the back window while I am driving (including toys), verbally obnoxious,

potty talk, you name it. The big blowouts are back. I am ready to pull him out

of school though I have no idea what I would do with him. He is on .25 risperdal

and 50mg Zoloft in the AM and 2.5 mg melatonin PM. I haven't talked to his

therapist about the behavior as he started after seeing her and she is not

available in between apts.I cannot personaly talk to the doc and he is not

scheduled till the 14 of october. I just lost it with him today before work-he

is abrasive from the time he gets up-either acting like he is three (potty talk,

etc) or just mean. I have asked him how things are at school ,etc with no real

good answers. he will say he had a bad day but that's it. His OCD has gotten

worse too. He kept telling me to shut up and hit me this morning and I just got

fed up. Then he tried to tell me he loves me and wanted me to go get him a toy

car before work and I told him no, due to his behavior. He cried and I felt bad

because I don't know if this behavior is something he can control or not or what

I should do. Do I just wait it out and try not to lose my mind? Last night when

he was good and tired he said he " missed our summers " and I told him I missed

them too-nothing like hearing that to break your heart. I just don't know what

to do, am tired of geting angry with him. I want to be empathetic but it is hard

while he is hitting or throwing or saying awful things. Do i attempt to

homeschool him( I don't even think that's an option) take him out of

school-what? Of course the school says he is doing great. Ugh.

>

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[Guest guest]

>

> This will probably be long. My 6 yr old son started 1st grade 2 weeks ago.

Everything went great the 1st week-too great I guess. Since wednesday this week,

he has been defiant, throwing things for no reason, hitting, thowing things out

of the back window while I am driving (including toys), verbally obnoxious,

potty talk, you name it. The big blowouts are back. I am ready to pull him out

of school though I have no idea what I would do with him. He is on .25 risperdal

and 50mg Zoloft in the AM and 2.5 mg melatonin PM. I haven't talked to his

therapist about the behavior as he started after seeing her and she is not

available in between apts.I cannot personaly talk to the doc and he is not

scheduled till the 14 of october. I just lost it with him today before work-he

is abrasive from the time he gets up-either acting like he is three (potty talk,

etc) or just mean. I have asked him how things are at school ,etc with no real

good answers. he will say he had a bad day but that's it. His OCD has gotten

worse too. He kept telling me to shut up and hit me this morning and I just got

fed up. Then he tried to tell me he loves me and wanted me to go get him a toy

car before work and I told him no, due to his behavior. He cried and I felt bad

because I don't know if this behavior is something he can control or not or what

I should do. Do I just wait it out and try not to lose my mind? Last night when

he was good and tired he said he " missed our summers " and I told him I missed

them too-nothing like hearing that to break your heart. I just don't know what

to do, am tired of geting angry with him. I want to be empathetic but it is hard

while he is hitting or throwing or saying awful things. Do i attempt to

homeschool him( I don't even think that's an option) take him out of

school-what? Of course the school says he is doing great. Ugh.

>

>

[Guest guest]

So he is acting up in the morning and you have to go to work

right? How is he after school and at bedtime? Does he go to

after school care? I am just trying to get a sense of what his

day is like. Were you home with him all summer?

If there are no options for trying to reduce the length of the

time he is in after care and simple solutions like getting

him to bed earlier are not effective then I would call the

MD and let them know this is urgent and there are not other

options for lowering his stress.

I would have the psychiatrist help you.

I don't know if Homeschooling is the answer. He would have to be willing to do

all the work for you and cooperate well.

If he has a DX of OCD there are accomodations you can ask the

school for. It often is a struggle to get these things in place.

But you didn't mention a particular area that he is struggling with.

Does he have peers to play with at recess?

Anxiety disorders I think are so isolating so I won't

think being at home alone is a good idea unless you have

always wanted to homeschool and you have a network to be part of.

And you think this is really going to be better.

My daughter wouldn't do work for me, the boredom of doing work with

me increased her anxiety. She has attentional issues she needs

a very supportive setting.

good luck,

Pam -- In , " shellspace71 "

wrote:

>

> This will probably be long. My 6 yr old son started 1st grade 2 weeks ago.

Everything went great the 1st week-too great I guess. Since wednesday this week,

he has been defiant, throwing things for no reason, hitting, thowing things out

of the back window while I am driving (including toys), verbally obnoxious,

potty talk, you name it. The big blowouts are back. I am ready to pull him out

of school though I have no idea what I would do with him. He is on .25 risperdal

and 50mg Zoloft in the AM and 2.5 mg melatonin PM. I haven't talked to his

therapist about the behavior as he started after seeing her and she is not

available in between apts.I cannot personaly talk to the doc and he is not

scheduled till the 14 of october. I just lost it with him today before work-he

is abrasive from the time he gets up-either acting like he is three (potty talk,

etc) or just mean. I have asked him how things are at school ,etc with no real

good answers. he will say he had a bad day but that's it. His OCD has gotten

worse too. He kept telling me to shut up and hit me this morning and I just got

fed up. Then he tried to tell me he loves me and wanted me to go get him a toy

car before work and I told him no, due to his behavior. He cried and I felt bad

because I don't know if this behavior is something he can control or not or what

I should do. Do I just wait it out and try not to lose my mind? Last night when

he was good and tired he said he " missed our summers " and I told him I missed

them too-nothing like hearing that to break your heart. I just don't know what

to do, am tired of geting angry with him. I want to be empathetic but it is hard

while he is hitting or throwing or saying awful things. Do i attempt to

homeschool him( I don't even think that's an option) take him out of

school-what? Of course the school says he is doing great. Ugh.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I work weekends so am home with him all week. He is with grandma and dad on

weekends. My work hours are set in stone-two 12 hour days-sat and sun.

He just says he had a bad day. He won't elaborate and he is capable of saying

more. I talked to his teacher today-she just says " he's doing great here-no

problems " no matter what I say.

I think he misses the time he had in summer and he just isn't used to not having

me around all day and doing even the boring things-like grocery shopping-he

misses it. He has friends-I think - but they hit as well and I am not there so I

don't know. He has always done o.k with kids at school

Home school-no he wouldn't do well, he wouldn't do the work, I know it.

> >

> > This will probably be long. My 6 yr old son started 1st grade 2 weeks ago.

Everything went great the 1st week-too great I guess. Since wednesday this week,

he has been defiant, throwing things for no reason, hitting, thowing things out

of the back window while I am driving (including toys), verbally obnoxious,

potty talk, you name it. The big blowouts are back. I am ready to pull him out

of school though I have no idea what I would do with him. He is on .25 risperdal

and 50mg Zoloft in the AM and 2.5 mg melatonin PM. I haven't talked to his

therapist about the behavior as he started after seeing her and she is not

available in between apts.I cannot personaly talk to the doc and he is not

scheduled till the 14 of october. I just lost it with him today before work-he

is abrasive from the time he gets up-either acting like he is three (potty talk,

etc) or just mean. I have asked him how things are at school ,etc with no real

good answers. he will say he had a bad day but that's it. His OCD has gotten

worse too. He kept telling me to shut up and hit me this morning and I just got

fed up. Then he tried to tell me he loves me and wanted me to go get him a toy

car before work and I told him no, due to his behavior. He cried and I felt bad

because I don't know if this behavior is something he can control or not or what

I should do. Do I just wait it out and try not to lose my mind? Last night when

he was good and tired he said he " missed our summers " and I told him I missed

them too-nothing like hearing that to break your heart. I just don't know what

to do, am tired of geting angry with him. I want to be empathetic but it is hard

while he is hitting or throwing or saying awful things. Do i attempt to

homeschool him( I don't even think that's an option) take him out of

school-what? Of course the school says he is doing great. Ugh.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter too has had a big issue adjusting to school. She is still only going

half days. Change seems to be very difficult for her.

Our behaviorist directed me to give her a small reward for going to

school and to vary it. Yesterday I took her to the play area

at Mc's, today I told her we would go to the Pet store to get a few

supplies (she loves to shop, always has). I keep the costs way

down. We go to the dollar store and spend a dollar or two. Or we

go to the grocery store and pick out a snack or something for her

lunch. I ask her in the morning what kind of a reward she wants from the list of

what she can have. And then we have a plan for after school. And this seems to

calm her sometimes.

You can give her a sticker each time her " minds " you. And have it

add up to a little toy for 20 stickers or a small candy. It is not the size of

the reward it is just that you give him lots of reinforcement for good behavior

and for bad behaviors you just respond

with a " I can't give you a sticker for that " and leave the room,

end of discussion no lecture (in essence no negative reinforcement for a bad

behavior).

good luck I hope this week is better,

Pam

> > >

> > > This will probably be long. My 6 yr old son started 1st grade 2 weeks ago.

Everything went great the 1st week-too great I guess. Since wednesday this week,

he has been defiant, throwing things for no reason, hitting, thowing things out

of the back window while I am driving (including toys), verbally obnoxious,

potty talk, you name it. The big blowouts are back. I am ready to pull him out

of school though I have no idea what I would do with him. He is on .25 risperdal

and 50mg Zoloft in the AM and 2.5 mg melatonin PM. I haven't talked to his

therapist about the behavior as he started after seeing her and she is not

available in between apts.I cannot personaly talk to the doc and he is not

scheduled till the 14 of october. I just lost it with him today before work-he

is abrasive from the time he gets up-either acting like he is three (potty talk,

etc) or just mean. I have asked him how things are at school ,etc with no real

good answers. he will say he had a bad day but that's it. His OCD has gotten

worse too. He kept telling me to shut up and hit me this morning and I just got

fed up. Then he tried to tell me he loves me and wanted me to go get him a toy

car before work and I told him no, due to his behavior. He cried and I felt bad

because I don't know if this behavior is something he can control or not or what

I should do. Do I just wait it out and try not to lose my mind? Last night when

he was good and tired he said he " missed our summers " and I told him I missed

them too-nothing like hearing that to break your heart. I just don't know what

to do, am tired of geting angry with him. I want to be empathetic but it is hard

while he is hitting or throwing or saying awful things. Do i attempt to

homeschool him( I don't even think that's an option) take him out of

school-what? Of course the school says he is doing great. Ugh.

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