Re: Re: Treatments/diff w/ children w/Autism

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I would like to appologize for my wording. Not for

what I said, but obviously, many of you took my words

and read into them. I only meant what Debi says here :

> We, or at least I'm not talking about not wanting my

> daughter, I'm

> talking about not wanting her body to build mercury

> & aluminum to

> toxic levels, not wanting her gut to be in knots,

> not wanting her to

> get sick every month, not wanting her to fear the

> slightest change in

> her schedule. No parent wants their child to be sick

> or have anxiety.

> Heck, there's an NT kid who dances with Jess who

> gets sick and vomits

> before every recital. I'm sure his parents would do

> what ever they

> could to help him not feel this way, but they still

> love him for who

> he is, they just don't like to see him suffer.

>

>

> Debi

I am not Hitler. I don't want to kill off anyone who

is Autistic or not " Perfect " . I DON'T want to say that

no one who has the chances of their children being

autistic, should be allowed to have children. I am

certainly not the judge of that and don't want to be.

I also am not talking about People's personalities. I

am talking about things that - for your information -

I understand very well, not just because I have two

autistic daughters, but because I have many

Developmental delayes myself. That does not mean that

I am stupid or mean or should be yelled at by this

group either because I didn't know how to say or

choose the right words. All that I mean, is that I

wish that myself and my children and all others who

have to suffer from communication barriers and

limitations in their health or their physical bodies

would maybe someday not have to. And that if there is

anything that can be done now, to prevent these things

in the future, then I want to help.

Many of you saying that this is a bad way to feel, are

not thinking clearly, or not understanding me. So I

will try again to make myself more clear. If someone

was born with bad eyesight, or better yet gained bad

eyesight at age 2years and had such horrible focus and

vision that they crashed into walls and could not see

people or books or enjoy life the way most people are

privaledged to, would you tell me I was bad for

wanting to make glasses to correct the Child's vision,

or maybe like my little brother who had glacoma and

had it removed with a laser and could finally see out

of his eye that he had been blind in since birth and

no-one knew till he was 13 because he didn't know how

to tell them.

I think that all of you would think that was wonderful

that he could see like others. If however, he was

completely blind, that does not mean that I or his

family would or should love him any less. We would be

so amazed and proud that he was strong enough to live

out life with a hardship, we would love him just the

same, but that does not mean that we would want

researchers to stop looking for cures or ways to help

people to see better.

My Husband has Crohn's Disease, I believe that my two

daughters may also have it. Yes, Chrohn's disease is a

part of my husband, because he has it, but does that

mean I love Crohn's Disease? Of course not. It is a

disease, it hurts him, it hinders him from living a

regular life. He hurts so bad that sometimes he feels

like it would be easier to die. He hasn't been able to

finish college or keep a steady job, or live out any

of his dreams and has been in the hospital many times.

Taking Crohn's way from my husband would not hurt his

feelings any. He wishes everday that he did not have

to have it. I knew him before and after crohn's

disease and he is two very different people, before

it's affects showed up and after. Just like my little

girls, before and after Autism. You can not tell me

that I should not wish that there was a cure for these

illnesses. I do not want to change who my husband

wants to be, I only want to help him to change into

what he wants, and because he is old enough and

verbal, he can tell me that he wants to be Crohn's

free. But my daughters are unable to tell me anything,

when I know that they want to and they try so hard to

convey things to me, that I know that at least in that

aspect of Autism, they too want to be cured.

I honestly did not mean to offend anyone, and hope

that you can understand that just because someone

doesn't tell you all of their challenges doesn't mean

that we don't have them, including challenges in

choosing the right words that we are trying to get

across.

I also noticed that just because some adults on this

site are autistic, and actually have a diagnosis or

say " I am Autistic " that everyone is nice to them and

they can say whatever they want. But if you talk about

not discriminating against Autistic people, then you

should treat everyone with as much respect, don't go

overboard to be nice to people with a diagnosis and

snap at anyone else who says something that you didn't

even understand. Just ask them what they meant,

instead of guessing or reading into it.

Again, because I know that sometimes I have a hard

time expressing what I am trying to say, in the right

way, people think that I am rude or trying to be mean.

I am not. I am just trying to tell the truth. So I

truly am sorry if this offends anyone, but it really

is not meant to. People have a hard time with me

sometimes, because I tell the truth or I don't say one

thing, when I am thinking another. Like people who say

" Come over anytime " and then you come and they say,

" What are you doing here? Who told you you could come

over? " I think that that is rude. And don't lie and

offer to help, if you don't want to and are going to

worm your way out of it. " Don't tell someone you just

want to be friends, and then still try to be in love

with them " It's all very mean and confusing.

I've always been in a tough place, because I ride the

fence in so many ways. I completely understand and

side with Autistic individuals, because I'm nearly

sure that as a young child I was Autistic, and

probably still am, but I have also been forced by

society to learn what's normal and tolerated. I have

learned most of it, but there are some things that I

can not. there is still a huge barrier and I can not

get past it. I feel very stuck at times and wish that

I could just understand things that others can. It

doesn't mean that I would choose them, but I'd like to

understand them. I do understand now why people say

things like I mentioned before, but I personally still

think it's rude and I don't do it myself, or try not

to anyway.

A huge thing that I know I have a hard time with, is

putting my thoughts into order. I know that they are

scrambled and often hard to follow, but I still have

the right to post my thoughts or opinions, just the

same as everyone, without having so many people get

mad. Don't get mad or defensive, just ask what I

meant. I honestly am not a rude person and never

intentionally say rude things. So if it sounds rude,

please just ask, and I will try to rephrase it or say

it better so people can understand. I love all people

and think all have the right to live and am happy that

I am alive and happy that my children are here in my

home, Autistic or not, I just hope that someday they

will be able to get past the barriers and life won't

be so hard for them as it has been for me.

Esther

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