Re: Update on us/lookig for input

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

How old is your daughter?

First I am going to let you know my daughter is 12,(almost 13) and has been on

zoloft since age 5. We have raised her up to over 100mg over the years, and we

have  decreased it, stopped it, you name it. My dd responds best to 25-50 mg. I

realize how low this dose is for her age, but sometimes more is not better. It

can make them worse.

It sounds like you are doing the best you can. Maybe keep increasing the amount

of time between helping her, and telling her for instance, " I will get out the

toothbrush, but you put the paste on " and keep taking away things you do for her

a little at a time.It takes a while. it won't happen overnight. than again you

can't keep getting up at 3am every night either!!

As far as answering the questions, what I do with my kids, is I will say the

ritual they need me to say one time now. Although I was saying it several times

before. With my son, I used to give him " tickets " because he needed me to hug

him literally hundreds of times a day and say, I love You to him.I started out

with 25 tickets and cut them down every day. it wasn't working , so than I gave

him 5 an hour. Needless to say he doesn't do that now, but the OCD has changed

to other kinds of rituals, etc.

OCD is so irrational and so hard. I feel for you!

The new therapist you are going to see sounds great!!!!

I hope things get better for you soon

Hugs

Judy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 10:06:59 AM

Subject: Update on us/lookig for input

 

I don't write on this forum often but appreciate the fact that it is here to

read as I need it. Thanks to all those people who contribute to help those

of us in need. You may or may not remember me but I wanted to update you

all as to where we are now with OCD.

For the last year and a half my daughter Lilly has done very well on 50-75

mg of Zoloft. She wasn't completely symptom free but she was able to deal

with the obsessive thoughts that came her way without doing any compulsions.

She was able to recognize the fact that they were obsessive and move on.

She lived a pretty normal life enjoying her friends, animals, etc.

Over the last few months things have taken a turn for the worse. We upped

her Zoloft to 100 mg, waited a month, then 125 mg. Her doctor (regular

family dr.) did not want to prescribe more as the increase didn't seem to

make much difference, though it's sometimes hard to tell because her main

symptom is a feeling of unease which manifests itself in many various ways,

from getting in and out of bed, chair, car, brushing teeth again and again,

washing hands, asking reassurance questions, and then sometimes these things

aren't hard at all. It moves around but on the whole she is not better than

when she was on 75 mg imo and maybe worse.

This relapse has given her the drive to try therapy with a woman who

specialized in ocd in children and teens. Her name is Lee Fitzgibbons and

she has written a book called " how to help your child with ocd. " We still

need to fill out paperwork and return it to them. We hope to get in in

early October. It's an hour and a half drive but will be worth it if she

can help. There are physchologists closer who do erp but the only ones who

agreed to see her were men and it's important to her to have a woman

therapist. This is the first time she's agreed to get help. We went to a

psych a couple years ago and she refused to participate but he did help me

to help her and to understand ocd better.

It has been so difficult to watch her relapse. It makes her depressed and

angry and it makes me sad and frustrated. She knows what to do to combat it

but feels helpless to do so. I try to be supportive without participating

in her rituals but it's such a difficult balance. I am going to a therapist

on Monday alone to get some better ideas of where to draw the line. She

likes me to hand her her toothbrush and rinse it for her (repeatedly ) hand

her her clothes, answer her questions. I try to make limits on how often

I'll do these things.only once or twice but her need for me to do them keeps

increasing and when I don't it's not a pretty sight.

One night she was up from 3 am till 6 am getting in and out of bed and

wanting me to watch her do it and say it was normal. I ended up doing it at

ever increasing intervals (I mean I'd do it and then say she had to wait 20

minutes before I'd do it again, then longer and longer) which did not seem

to help. I'm not sure when to step back and allow it to get worse or to do

it because if she can't seem to work on that particular problem, is it

helping for me to place limits on how many times I'll participate?

Also, I'm wondering if it helps if she waits two hours before brushing her

teeth again if she knows in her mind she's just going to do it anyway before

she goes to bed. It seems like she gets past the worst of the anxiety but

its still a niggling feeling that she needs to do it again before she can

sleep so she brushes again which starts the whole anxiety process over again

and she can't stop again. Is the two hour wait just a waste of time if she

plans to do it again anyway and feels helpless to control it?

We talked last night about the fact that the increase in Zoloft doesn't seem

to be working and she said she'll try to go back to 100 mg and see what

happens. I was just reading on here that sometimes less is more..worried

about trying it in case it is actually doing something. Maybe without the

increase things would have gotten even worse than they are now??

Thanks for listening.

Shaw

[Guest guest]

Hi,My name is Steph and I am new to this site.I was wondering how old your

daughter is?My daughter is 6 1/2.I know how difficult it is to watch your child

do things over and over.I cry about it on the way home from  work so she doesn't

see me.We are taking her to a therapist and we are working on two things at a

time.My daughter will say that " Alligator Boss Job " will tell her to do things.The

therapist told us to tell her that we don't listen to Alligator Boss Job.It

helps to hear other people's stories.Thank-you,Steph

Subject: Update on us/lookig for input

To:

Date: Sunday, September 13, 2009, 10:06 AM

 

I don't write on this forum often but appreciate the fact that

it is here to

read as I need it. Thanks to all those people who contribute to help those

of us in need. You may or may not remember me but I wanted to update you

all as to where we are now with OCD.

For the last year and a half my daughter Lilly has done very well on 50-75

mg of Zoloft. She wasn't completely symptom free but she was able to deal

with the obsessive thoughts that came her way without doing any compulsions.

She was able to recognize the fact that they were obsessive and move on.

She lived a pretty normal life enjoying her friends, animals, etc.

Over the last few months things have taken a turn for the worse. We upped

her Zoloft to 100 mg, waited a month, then 125 mg. Her doctor (regular

family dr.) did not want to prescribe more as the increase didn't seem to

make much difference, though it's sometimes hard to tell because her main

symptom is a feeling of unease which manifests itself in many various ways,

from getting in and out of bed, chair, car, brushing teeth again and again,

washing hands, asking reassurance questions, and then sometimes these things

aren't hard at all. It moves around but on the whole she is not better than

when she was on 75 mg imo and maybe worse.

This relapse has given her the drive to try therapy with a woman who

specialized in ocd in children and teens. Her name is Lee Fitzgibbons and

she has written a book called " how to help your child with ocd. " We still

need to fill out paperwork and return it to them. We hope to get in in

early October. It's an hour and a half drive but will be worth it if she

can help. There are physchologists closer who do erp but the only ones who

agreed to see her were men and it's important to her to have a woman

therapist. This is the first time she's agreed to get help. We went to a

psych a couple years ago and she refused to participate but he did help me

to help her and to understand ocd better.

It has been so difficult to watch her relapse. It makes her depressed and

angry and it makes me sad and frustrated. She knows what to do to combat it

but feels helpless to do so. I try to be supportive without participating

in her rituals but it's such a difficult balance. I am going to a therapist

on Monday alone to get some better ideas of where to draw the line. She

likes me to hand her her toothbrush and rinse it for her (repeatedly ) hand

her her clothes, answer her questions. I try to make limits on how often

I'll do these things.only once or twice but her need for me to do them keeps

increasing and when I don't it's not a pretty sight.

One night she was up from 3 am till 6 am getting in and out of bed and

wanting me to watch her do it and say it was normal. I ended up doing it at

ever increasing intervals (I mean I'd do it and then say she had to wait 20

minutes before I'd do it again, then longer and longer) which did not seem

to help. I'm not sure when to step back and allow it to get worse or to do

it because if she can't seem to work on that particular problem, is it

helping for me to place limits on how many times I'll participate?

Also, I'm wondering if it helps if she waits two hours before brushing her

teeth again if she knows in her mind she's just going to do it anyway before

she goes to bed. It seems like she gets past the worst of the anxiety but

its still a niggling feeling that she needs to do it again before she can

sleep so she brushes again which starts the whole anxiety process over again

and she can't stop again. Is the two hour wait just a waste of time if she

plans to do it again anyway and feels helpless to control it?

We talked last night about the fact that the increase in Zoloft doesn't seem

to be working and she said she'll try to go back to 100 mg and see what

happens. I was just reading on here that sometimes less is more..worried

about trying it in case it is actually doing something. Maybe without the

increase things would have gotten even worse than they are now??

Thanks for listening.

Shaw

[Guest guest]

She is going to be 13 in two weeks. She also started her period in Feb. and

that was when things began to take a turn for the worse.

Shaw

[Guest guest]

Judy and Steph,

Thanks for the ideas. Lilly (almost 13) refuses think of ocd as a bully and

something separate from herself. She just can't seem to do that. Makes it

hard to talk back to it. I like the idea of tickets. It would be more

concrete that way instead of my decision each time. Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

That's how the tickets worked for my son, because , like you said, it took

everything off of ME. I also use timers for long rituals that should be

shortened.

Hugs

Judy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 11:37:24 AM

Subject: RE: Update on us/lookig for input

 

Judy and Steph,

Thanks for the ideas. Lilly (almost 13) refuses think of ocd as a bully and

something separate from herself. She just can't seem to do that. Makes it

hard to talk back to it. I like the idea of tickets. It would be more

concrete that way instead of my decision each time. Thanks.

[Guest guest]

, well first - Fitzgibbons! Wow, you're lucky! Things should go much

better once you begin with her.

used to do the " get in bed, get back out " thing. That could happen

anywhere really, if he was just trying to sit down in a chair too, etc. I also

stayed up until he was finally " in. " He didn't really need me there to say

anything to him, but I just couldn't leave him and go on to bed myself (LOL,

which I did complain about on my less supportive nights).

I'm not sure how I would have handled it if I had to keep saying to him that it

was normal.... I know sometimes he'd be in tears saying he couldn't do it, and

I would tell him he could, that he always has in the past been able to

eventually get it " right " and he would this time too, etc. (It had to feel

" right " for him to not get back up)

Someone suggested that we try working on it at another time of day. To have him

get on the bed and try to stay on longer before getting back up, just some

exposures to do. But he could easily get on his bed, lie down, any other time

of the day, just at actual bedtime that this would happen. Is that the same

with your daughter?

We had a computer in his room. So I learned to either play games on the

computer, other things, take a book in there to read...just something to sort of

relax me, keep me occupied, something " enjoyable " I could do while he went thru

all this. That helped ME, not him. Bedtime was one of the hardest, longest

lasting

problems for him and since I needed my sleep and he needed his, I sort of put

this last on our " hierarchy " to work on, just wanting things calm and us able to

get past it and sleep! It could take 30 minutes or 3 hours for him. (have to

say when OCD improved and this finally went away, I missed my computer game

time, LOL, only time of day I didn't feel like I was wasting time by sitting and

playing and not doing something needed like housework)

I'm thinking with the toothbrushing, if I have the scenario right, that the 2

hour wait is a gain; otherwise, wouldn't she brush earlier and then brush

again...more times brushing? Plus if she can hold out for that 2 hours, that's

good. Can you increase it from 2 hours?

Quick thoughts and lots of empathy!

((hugs))

>

> I don't write on this forum often but appreciate the fact that it is here to

> read as I need it. Thanks to all those people who contribute to help those

> of us in need. You may or may not remember me but I wanted to update you

> all as to where we are now with OCD.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Puberty! sigh! My daughter got much worse 6 months after

getting her first period. It's when the OCD really started. We ended

up changing all her meds which wasn't an easy thing. She is on

Lexapro for the OCD and we recently increased it. She is now on 30

mg.. We also added Tenex which seemed to help too. We tried seroquel

and anafranil the first didn't help and the second made things worse.

Dorelle

[Guest guest]

, well first - Fitzgibbons! Wow, you're lucky! Things should go much

better once you begin with her.

I hope it goes well. All my apples are in that one barrel at this point.

used to do the " get in bed, get back out " thing. That could happen

anywhere really, if he was just trying to sit down in a chair too, etc. I

also stayed up until he was finally " in. " He didn't really need me there to

say anything to him, but I just couldn't leave him and go on to bed myself

(LOL, which I did complain about on my less supportive nights).

It's the same for Lilly. I keep a flashlight and a book in her room and try

to keep my sanity by reading. It's fine unless I'm exhausted. Most night

she sleeps through the night. Last night she was up from 3-4 am. Tried to

get back in bed and it wasn't working so well. Thought the couch might be a

better option and we stayed down there for a while. She gave up (it was cold

too) and went back to her bed and was finally able to get back to sleep.

I'm not sure how I would have handled it if I had to keep saying to him that

it was normal.... I know sometimes he'd be in tears saying he couldn't do

it, and I would tell him he could, that he always has in the past been able

to eventually get it " right " and he would this time too, etc. (It had to

feel " right " for him to not get back up)

Someone suggested that we try working on it at another time of day. To have

him get on the bed and try to stay on longer before getting back up, just

some exposures to do. But he could easily get on his bed, lie down, any

other time of the day, just at actual bedtime that this would happen. Is

that the same with your daughter?

Yes, it's the same for the most part. Which is why I worry about the whole

erp thing because when she's busy and around other people the ocd doesn't

bother her so much. How can she work on erp if she isn't having anxiety.

Well, we could bring her tooth brush and she could at least brush them on

that day. It's been one of the more difficult things lately and yesterday

we just decided that mouthwash was enough. I worry though because she gets

cavities easily.

I'm thinking with the toothbrushing, if I have the scenario right, that the

2 hour wait is a gain; otherwise, wouldn't she brush earlier and then brush

again...more times brushing? Plus if she can hold out for that 2 hours,

that's good. Can you increase it from 2 hours?

Maybe if we start earlier. We start now at 8 pm and are not to bed before

11 because of various issues. (changing clothes, teeth, getting into bed.)

Quick thoughts and lots of empathy!

Thanks!

Shaw